#incorrect sleepy bois inc
Wilbur: Of the nine planets in the solar system, why did I have to get put on the same one as you, Tommy?
Techno, from the other room: THERE ARE EIGHT PLANETS
Wilbur: VIVA LA PLUTO! FUCK YOU!
Phil: What about love?
Techno: Overrated. Biochemically no different than consuming large quantities of chocolate.
Tommy: y’know, we’re like brothers!
Wilbur:
Tommy: Wha- are you crying??
Wilbur, crying: No, I’m having an allergic reaction.
Tommy: to what???
Wilbur: to you
Techno: This is exactly the kind of social situation I’m not comfortable with.
Phil: What kind of social situation ARE you comfortable with?
Tommy: Hey, I can cook!
Wilbur: Offering people gum is not cooking.
Techno: I’m not great at the advice, but can I offer you a sarcastic comment?
Techno: How petty can you get?
Tommy: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
Techno: How petty can you get?
Tommy: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
Wilbur: Be quiet Fundy, you’re not even a registered voter.
Fundy:
Fundy: I’m literally running for President.
Tubbo: I got a new pet!
Tommy: What is it?
Tubbo: This crab.
Tommy: Oh wow, where did you get it??
Tubbo; It was on sale at the supermarket this morning.
Phil: I tOLD Wil that was a bad idea! But did he listen to me?? No!! Because no one ever listens to me!
Tubbo: Which is strange because you’re always right.
Phil: I KNOW RIGHT??
Techno: Do you want a drink?
Wilbur: What are my options?
Techno: Yes or no, obviously.
Tommy: I ate a bug today!
Wilbur: Oh nice, is Phil cooking again?
Philza: Hey! I can hear you!
[Therapy Session]
Puffy: Do you have any healthy outlets?
Philza:Screaming.
Techno:Murder.
Tommy:Drugs.
Wilbur:Fire.
Tubbo:Nukes.
Puffy: Okay, so we have “screaming”.
Wilbur: Where’s Techno?
Phil: He’s in the other room, explaining to the dogs that even though we are going to bed now they, the dogs, are welcomed to stay up.
Tommy: Why do good people die young?
Phil: When you’re in a garden full of flowers, which ones do you pick?
Tommy: The ugly ones.
Phil: Exact- Wait, wait, what? Why?
Tommy: Because ugly bitches don’t belong in my garden.
Wilbur: When are you going to admit that all my ideas are good ideas?
Fundy: Oh, because I thought doing drugs, creating a nation, getting into a fued with Dream, running for president, and then blowing up the country were bad ideas!
Wilbur: Well, not when you say it with that attitude!
Tommy, in the hospital after surgery: Where’s Wil?
Tubbo: Who do you think gave you your new heart bossman?
Tommy, starts crying:
Tubbo: Just kidding. He’s in the bathroom.
Phil: *Catches a wasp under a cup*
Techno: *Puts two more cups down*
Phil, shaking:No
Techno: *Starts shuffling*
Tubbo: It’s really muggy outside today.
Tommy: If I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn I will slaughter you.
Tubbo: *Sips coffee from a bowl*
Techno: How are you doing, Phil?
Phil: Alright, I just have this headache that comes and goes.
Wilbur: *Walks into the room*
Phil: There it is again.
Phil: Techno, can you do something for me?
Techno: I would cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the scene, and take the blame for the crime.
Phil: Great. Can you do the dishes?
Techno:No.
Tommy: If you think you can just look at me with those big, sad eyes and get whatever the hell you want-
Tubbo::(
Tommy: …You’d be absolutely right.