Summary: Bucky can never forget the things he has done, despite trying to piece together the memories he lost. He thinks himself a monster; you’re here to set the record straight.
His yelling woke you up, your heart racing despite it being a nightly occurrence. Your bare body instantly covered his, gentle hands firmly holding his wrists down to stop him from hurting himself. He thrashed under your hold, shouting phrases that you still couldn’t quite understand after all these years of being with Bucky.
‘’Baby, baby. It’s ok, it’s ok. I’m right here,’’ you soothed, one hand shaking him awake while dodging his flailing fists. You never forgot how hard that metal arm could pack a punch and Bucky, to this day, never forgave himself for that incident. He never forgave himself for anything.
‘’D-Doll?’’ his bottom lip trembled as those ocean blue eyes of his sprung wide open.
‘’Shhh, Bucky. I’m right here, baby,’’ your hands cradled his head, drawing him close to your chest. The ticking of your heart always seemed to work for him, as if he were a scared puppy.
You weren’t aware how much time had passed as the moonlight filled your shared bedroom. You could faintly hear birds chirping not too far away as you continued to comfort and soothe your boyfriend of nearly three years. Eventually his heavy breathing slowed to normal, but those massive hands were still clenched tight.
‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ you hummed, fingers raking through his hair as he leaned into your embrace.
He shook his head, sighing. ‘’Have I ever?’’ he joked, but you could taste the truth on his words. You sighed and pulled away, sitting up as the gray sheets pooled at your waist.
‘’Talking could help, Buck. Maybe if-,’’ you paused as he sat up beside you, towering over you as he rubbed his human hand over his face out of frustration.
‘’Nothing can help, Y/n. This is my punishment,’’ his voice was firm now as he glared into the shadows dancing at the foot of your bed.
‘’You know as well as I do that those things, what happened, none of it was your fault. That was H.Y.D.R.A,’’ your brows furrowed, hand placed on his shoulder.
Bucky scoffed, shaking his head as if he could cause his night terrors to evaporate. As if he could will his trauma away. ‘’Let’s just go back to bed,’’ he tried laying back down, your firm grip preventing him from doing so.
‘’Bucky,’’ you huffed, gently tugging on his hair to get him to meet your eyes.
‘’Y/n,’’ his tone shifted from sleepy to annoyance instantly. You gave a playful tug on his locks once more, cracking a tiny smile. It worked, as he sighed and sat back up. You saw in his eyes that he struggled to process his words and make sense of his thoughts and emotions. You slowly traced invisible patterns onto the palm of his hand and up his forearm.
‘’I don’t know how to do it,’’ he finally spoke.
You quirked a brow. ‘’How to do what, honey?’’ you pressed.
His mouth twitched a bit, releasing a shaky sigh as his shoulders quivered.
‘’I don’ know…I don’t know how to look at strangers on the street, on the subway, in the grocery stores. Even in the fucking movie theaters. I don’t know how to pass by and look at all of these strangers, these people, and not know if I hurt them…if I hurt their loved ones. I try to remember and I-I can’t.’’
Your heart clenched at your boyfriend’s words. You could tell he was choking back a sob but trying his absolute best not to in front of you.
‘’Bucky. Bucky look at me,’’ you whispered to him, your hands gently encompassing his chiseled face. Those baby blues glossed over with unshed tears as you stroked his cheeks.
‘’Nobody blames you for what you weren’t in control of. Honey, you need to let that all go or it’ll eat you up. You’ve saved more lives than you took, trust me.’’
A lone tear streamed down his cheekbone, hot against your skin as he let out the most broken sound you had ever heard. You sat there, holding him as sob after sob racked through his form.
You strolled around the museum, thankful that Bucky was training with Sam today. You analyzed the numerous posters and holograms, read the several plaques that detailed the victories Steve and Bucky accomplished.
‘’I got your call, rushed over as soon as I could,’’ Steve’s voice made you look up. He greeted you with the usual hug.
‘’What do you need, y/n?’’ his eyebrows rose in question.
‘’James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes was born in 1925. He served as a Sergeant in the United States army, assigned to the 107th in 1943…’’ the narrator began, causing the two of you to look away and focus your respective gazes on Bucky’s hologram. His strong jaw showing off a proud smile as he looked dashing in his uniform. Unable to help yourself, you smiled as your heart swelled with pride. That was your Buck, and you so desperately wished he saw himself as the hero he was rather than the monster he feared he had become.
‘’That,’’ you nodded your head toward the plaque that gave a basic run-down of Bucky’s accomplishments during the war. Your index finger tapped at one particular area, causing Steve to squint his eyes as he read the passage.
‘’Sergeant Barnes is accredited with saving over 58 lives while serving,’’ Steve read aloud before turning back to you. ‘’What are you getting at, doll?’’ Steve smiled, clearly seeing the wheels and cogs turning in your head. You beamed.
‘’Doll, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you treating me to a date, but really?’’ Bucky chuckled as you led him to the theatre.
‘’Shh, I’ve been waiting to see this movie for years,’’ you silenced him, practically dragging him to your assigned auditorium. Bucky just snorted and shook his head. ‘’Alright, alright. You don’t need to be so pushy, you’re practically burning through the carpet,’’ he teased, earning a gentle smack to his chest.
He fell silent when he saw the theatre fully lit, over 200 seats completely taken as their eyes fell on the two of you. In the first three rows, many of them were elderly. Some adorned their uniforms as they shakily rose using their canes or walkers. Soon everyone stood up, applauding.
‘’What’s going on?’’ Bucky asked, tensing up as his eyes surveyed the crowd. You just smiled, feeling yourself become emotional as you two gazed at all of the different faces. You held onto his hand to steady him.
‘’These are just some of the people you saved, Bucky. They wanted to thank you, and some are their children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren. They’re standing here today because of you,’’ you spoke quietly as the thundering of applause continued. Many had tears in their eyes as they continued clapping, shouting their thanks and blessings. You turned your head to look at Bucky, tears cascading down his face as his mouth hung open in complete awe. He looked down at you and you nodded your head. He swallowed a sob as his hands held the sides of your face, leaning down to plant a passionate kiss to your lips. You cried as well, grinning into the kiss as people slowly began making their way to thank their hero.
‘’You’re a very lucky lady,’’ one veteran stated, wrinkled eyes bright with joy as his grandchildren ran around his wheelchair, begging Bucky for an autograph.
You beamed, watching as they clung to your boyfriend’s legs, his laugh something you would treasure for the rest of your life as you nodded slowly. ‘’I know,’’ you agreed.
‘’Papa look! It’s Bucky! He’s my hero!’’ another young child called from the crowd, his grandfather proudly nodding in agreement.
I nervously waited outside the police station, looking down at my phone constantly in case he called. Arrested because he missed his therapy, I could almost laugh at the simplicity of it. Not for hurting someone, not for running away, but simply because he was late.
John Walker waltzed out of the door and down the steps, walking past me before stopping and turning to look.
“Y/N, right?”
I’d been made to swear to Bucky I’d never speak to him, but I couldn’t be so awkward as to blank him. “Yep,”
He chuckled a little at my short response, moving to stand in front of me. “John,” he stuck out his hand but I folded my arms. “Bucky told you not to talk to me, huh?”
“No,” I lied. “I just don’t appreciate you talking down to Sam and Bucky.”
“When did I talk down to them?” He asked with a cocky smirk.
“What was it? Wingmen?” I said. “They are both hero’s in their own right, Steve had very little to do with that,”
“Oh honey,” he hummed. “I really don’t think your boyfriend is a hero.”
I could tell him. I could tell him what Bucky did during World War II, how he helped in Wakanda and how he’s bettering himself today. But the thing is with men like John is that they really don’t care to listen.
“John,” I sighed. “I would love to tell you everything Bucky has done, the sacrifices he’s made, but men like you will only ever hear what they want to.”
He simply smirked down at me. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,”
Before I could say another word Sam and Bucky were walking towards us. “Doll,” Bucky sceptically said as he tugged me away from John.
“She’s a real nice girl,” John said. “Seems good for you.”
Y’all this vlog just passed 10,000 views today and I’m so grateful to every single person that’s seen it or even given my channel a chance. I don’t upload super often because I only film what I really want to film, but it makes me so happy to see that people enjoy what I make.
My take on what’s in Bucky’s backpack in Captain America Civil War. I just drew this for myself as I think it’s probably pushing the geeky fan levels, even for me…
Warning:Dub-Con and Involuntary Sparking. Do not read if it might offend you in any way or trigger something.
Last warning, please read only if you can handle it!
She heard heavy footsteps outside her cell, but she did not look up. Y/N knew who it was, it was the new Kings of Earth, Midgard: Loki Laufeyson and James Bucky Barnes. Bucky was in his right mind and despite that he helped Loki fight the Avengers and his once best friend Steve Rogers and won. Perhaps he lost his faith in humanity or was under Hydra’s control for too long. She didn’t know if the Avengers were still alive and if so, where they were. However, she couldn’t care less now that she had her own life to worry about. Y/N was Tony Stark’s assistant and, was captured shortly after the two men won. There was no escape. Not from this cell or these two men who were outside her cell.
She grabbed a sharp piece of glass that was lying in a corner. At the same moment the cell door opened and she hid the glass behind her back. She knew that she would not be able to fight the two men, but she would not give up without a fight. Without a moment’s hesitation, she leapt at Bucky, but he immediately blocked her attack and pinned her arm behind her back. “You still have fight in you, even after so many weeks,” Loki said, stroking her cheek with one finger. She spat at him and kicked backward at the same moment, sending Bucky stumbling backward. Y/N turned around and managed to cut him on his cheek with the glass. She ran through the cell and locked the two in it before running off, but suddenly she ran into a solid chest and, looking up, saw Loki and Bucky smiling in front of her. “I told you she would manage to escape,” Loki looked to him before looking back to her. “I really don’t know why someone like you was Stark’s assistant.” He stroked her cheek down to her cleavage and let a finger trail under the neckline of her shirt. “Leave her alone!” Y/N looked to the cell next to her, through the small window of the door she could see Tony. “Why?” asked Loki, looking at him for a moment. “She seems to enjoy it.” “I hate you guys,” she said, looking away from them. “Why is that? We’ve been nothing but kind to you so far, darling,” Bucky said, smiling dangerously. “It’s time you paid us back, isn’t it?” “Bucky, please! You’ve got to stop this! You’re not yourself!” shouted Steve. “I’ve never been in my right mind as much as I am right now,” Bucky said calmly. “Come on, let’s the three of us talk somewhere else where we can have more privacy.” Loki conjured up golden manacles and cuffed both her wrists behind her back. The two men led them to an elevator and Loki pressed the button for the top floor. “I really need to get this Midgardian technique improved,” Loki said when they finally got off. The floor had been converted to large open-concept apartments. “Make yourself at home.” He made her wrist cuffs disappear. She turned to them and watched Loki pour himself a glass of whiskey. Bucky sat in a chair and leaned back. “Why are you doing this?” she asked, looking down at the floor. “Humanity needs guidance and we give it to them,” Bucky said simply, shrugging his shoulders. “Humans crave submission.” “No, we don’t,” she objected, shaking his head. “We don’t want submission.” Loki raised his eyebrow and stood up, with each step he took toward her she took one back until her back met the wall. “You want to obey and be a good girl, don’t you?” he asked; Loki was so close to her she could feel his breath on her skin. Y/N reacted in a flash and pulled her knee up and pushed him off her, but she didn’t manage to push him far away, but she tried to run away, but he caught her with an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. “Right now you are a really bad girl and you know what happens to bad girls? They get punished.” Loki carried her to a table and bent her over it. She looked over her shoulder and felt her pants being pulled down, but fortunately for her, her panties stayed on. It was clear to her what he was up to and she shook her head. “Please don’t, I promise I’ll be a good girl.” “That’s good, but you still need to be punished,” Loki said and she saw Bucky step up next to Loki. “We are your rulers and we decide if you live or die,” Bucky explained to her before turning to Loki. “I think ten for her attempted escape from the cell and ten for her little action just now is fair.” “That’s fair.” -he looked at Y/N- “You’re going to get twenty smacks on your ass and count each one of them, understand?” he asked her and, when she didn’t answer, he slapped her once on her ass. “Understand?” “Yes,” she said through clenched teeth. He began to slap her again and she began to count. “OneThree…SixTen”-She felt herself starting to get wet and her nipples getting hard, but she wouldn’t admit that she was enjoying the punishment-“Twelve…Fourteen…Sixteen…Eighteen…Twenty.” Bucky turned Y/N around and she propped her forearms against it. “She seemed to like it,” he laughed before stepping to her and lifting her chin up with his metal hand. She pulled out of his grip and looked at him angrily. “Leave me alone. I want to get out of here right now!” she commanded, lifting her chin. “You are brave, you would certainly make a good queen for our kingdom,” Loki said. “I would rather die than be with you!” she said stubbornly. “That would be a waste; there are so many better uses for you.” Loki clasped her cheek and leaned down to her. He kissed her slowly, running his hands over her sides. She stifled her moan as he stroked the fabric of her panties. Y/N leaned into the kiss and just as she began to kiss him back, he broke the kiss. God, what had gotten into her? She wanted to slap him in the face with the flat of her hand, but he quickly caught her wrist “I tried to be nice, but my patience has run out. Get on the bed and sit on all fours, clothes off” he ordered her and she couldn’t help but feel aroused, even in this situation. She swallowed and looked at him with wide eyes. “I…I…Just let me go. I’m not a hero or have any powers; I’m a nobody.” Loki’s jaw tightened. “Get on the bed. Now.” She took a deep breath as she began to slowly undress; with her back to the two men. Y/N stood there in just her underwear, holding her arms in front of her. “Anything,” Bucky said and she looked over her shoulder at him. She turned away from him and unclasped her bra before sliding her panties down her legs. She hesitated to get on the bed, not because she was afraid of it, but because she was afraid she might like what he was doing. Y/N knew it wouldn’t be against her will and she would give herself to them willingly. What was wrong with her? Loki stepped behind her and slid his hand down to her pussy. He ran his fingers over her wet pussy and she moaned, but she quickly bit her lip. “You can pretend you don’t like it, but we both know you do,” he spoke softly in her ear, running his index finger down her spine as he plunged two fingers into her wet pussy and began to fuck her. Bucky stepped in front of her and bent down to take her nipple into his mouth. She felt dirty that she liked this so much, what these two men were doing to her. They were attacking and taking over the earth; Y/N was not allowed to enjoy this as much as she wanted to. What would they think of her? “Stop it you fucking bastards!” she shouted, trying to squirm away from them. “Let us teach you some manners.” -Loki stopped fucking her and spun her around before lifting her up and making his clothes disappear and lying down on the bed with her. He lifted her legs over his shoulders and, without hesitation, thrust into her tight pussy. The bed shook under the force of his thrusts until he finally got down on his knees and began fucking her at a different angle-“Tell me how much you like it.” “I loathe you,” she said, trying not to moan. The truth was that she loved what he was doing. Loki pulled out of her and flipped her over onto all fours before thrusting back into her. Bucky stood in front of the bed and was now completely naked as well. “Open your mouth,” he ordered, lifting her chin so she would look at him and, if it were possible to get any wetter, she would. She kept it closed, wanting to see what he would do. With his metal hand, he applied light pressure to her jaw, forcing her to open her mouth. He pushed the tip of his cock into her mouth and pushed further in. Loki thrust deep inside her, making her moan loudly. He reached down and began to rub her clit quickly. She felt her climax building quickly inside her and she tried to hold it back. “Be a good girl and cum for us,” Loki ordered and she couldn’t delay her orgasm any longer and came as he thrust deep into her pussy one last time, filling her with his hot cum. Bucky pushed himself as far as he could into her mouth and filled her mouth with cum as well. He pulled out of her mouth and she swallowed it down. Loki slid out of her and she felt his cum flow out of her. She was breathing heavily as she recovered from her orgasm. Bucky spun her around and she felt his hard cock at her entrance. In front of her, Loki was also getting hard again and she didn’t know whether to thank or hate the two men for their perseverance. Bucky didn’t give her much time to think as he thrust into her pussy, pulling her hips back toward him with each thrust. Loki nudged her lips with the tip of his cock and this time she opened it without hesitation. He wrapped his hand in her hair and began to fuck her mouth mercilessly, just as Bucky was fucking her pussy. She moaned around Loki’s cock and Bucky grabbed one of her breasts and massaged it. He let his hand wander down and began rubbing her clit again. Both men fucked her quickly, making her come again and again until they filled her with their cum one last time. In the end she lay exhausted on the bed with the two men lying next to her and any fight about not enjoying this was gone from her and she would now give herself over to whatever pleasure the two men gave her. Loki and Bucky were her kings and she was their queen.
