We’re never going to change anything. There is no point in trying. So the only thing we can do is change ourselves. For better or for worse. Or just for something different.

Dawn of Realization

I woke up today at 4 am after a restless night of changing positions and ocassional pondering over weird scenarios with a frantic inner monologue as they unfold. The pessimist in me went on a ramapage but only after looking at my cracked window. Looking at it i thought, how fragile it is, like our lives. We could easily be damaged, whether it is through our personal relationships, or a loss of a beloved being from our lives. Even small things have a lasting impact on our thinking and affects our concentration to do other things. I thought about my life and its many cracks which is still yearning for light to enter and shine its darkest corners. Somewhere out there in the world there are people who are completely shattered and may have lost all hope for any light. I wonder what those people feel who beg to live for a day or two. Those who are already born with cracks. These cracks may never mend but it has made it possible for some light to enter. Hardships and unbearable moments are a part of this chaos called life. I wonder who or what is going to fix these cracks. But it’s also possible that you won’t ever grow into the person you hoped to become without these cracks. I guess i’ll have to wait. It is all there is to life; wait. Wait for that glimmer of light. Sometimes i ask myself, is it even worth it? You always have a fear of unknown and death. You never know who or whats going to hurt you and take you to a certain despair and anguish state, a lostness of the human condition. Who or whats gonna make you happy, though it happens rarely(in my life).The inexorable passage of time does not care about your good or bad moments, it just passes and takes you along. It is the human desire and hope which form a basis for human struggle and suffering.In the famous words of William Irvine, it is desire which animates life, ‘Banish desire from the world and you get a world of frozen beings who have no reason to live and no reason to die.’ Hopes and desires are personal aspects of human life, and it is these desires that tell us to wait a little longer. But for now i am just waiting at my balcony for that sun to rise.

“Hűha” ennyi mondott, majd eltűnt. Számára sokat jelentett ez a szó, de nélküle nekem ezek csak jelentéktelen üres betűk!

-justdeepbluerose

girlcaligula:

hate how this guy in this book im reading criticizes camus’ lack of pessimism and insists on how actually the character of meursault is closer to us than the myth of sisyphus because the physicality of life is a greater comfort than the act of rebellion like

1) why are you calling out camus’ lack of pessimism when he says that on his philosophy shines a “neverfading sun” and that he doesn’t think his philosophy can described as pessimist in the first place. like why are you criticizing a point HE DOES NOT MAKE

2) the meaning of the myth of sisyphus doesn’t have end in self-awareness and smug satisfaction for your own rebellion otherwise that’s not rebellion in itself. if you think about a rebellion born out of pride that has still a positive impact on the world around you though perhaps intrinsically meaningless as meaningless is life itself then. then how can you compare the two when one of them is a creative, continuous effort and the other is just passivity lmao

I fell in love with you the moment you said you loved me.. I knew it held no true meaning but you said it… That’s what meant the most to me back then

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