#morbid art
Urban and rural merch illos, based on what’s currently in stock for real in my Etsy shop.
• Vinyl stickers
• Tote bags
• Patches
• Enamel pins
& many more!
vectorthatfox.etsy.com |vectorthatfox.co.uk | @vectorthatfox
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New packaging for the FOREVER COLLECTING DEAD THINGS woven patch!
I’ve always been a sucker for detailed illustrated packaging.
Available now at vectorthatfox.etsy.com with worldwide shipping.
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Curse of Strahd piece I’ve been working on for the past few weeks is finished. Featuring Strahd and my pathetic human paladin as a man-sized happy meal equipped with ridiculous golden armor and heart quartz accents. It’s about 30x40in and takes up most of my twin size bed if that gives you an idea of the size of this thing. All done with prismacolor markers. Critiques and comments welcome
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my patreon page is finally live! after so many months worrying about whether i should publish the page or not, i decided to take a step forward and leave my worry behind.
currently it only has one content but i’m working on more, my plan is to at least post twice per month min. then after few months i’m gonna stop doing commission and focusing my time on creating more personal art for this patreon page :>
you can check out the page by clicking on this link
sharing is caring, any kind of support is greatly appreciated
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Finished coloured pencil illustration - portrait of a man with leishmaniasis - by @claire_carswell
This is mucocutaneous leishmaniasis - a neglected tropical disease caused by the trypanosome parasite Leishmania, spread through sandfly bites. There are different types of leishmaniasis, ranging from mostly cutaneous presentations, to visceral leishmaniasis - which causes liver failure and death. This disease is treatable, but because the vast majority of people who are impacted by it live in incredibly impoverished areas, too many people are disfigured, disabled or killed by it.
‘Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?’
@claire_carswell on Instagram
viahttp://resonanteye.net/virtual-gallery-tour-section-one/
virtual gallery tour, section one
paintings 1-6
all originals are for sale at this link.
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viahttp://resonanteye.net/originals-will-be-for-sale-nov-15/
Originals will be for sale, Nov 15
Two are spoken for.
All the local galleries are full of artists that they were showing last year, my kickstarter to get full scale prints made did not get funded (really bad timing). I’ll eventually be releasing a small art book containing all of these, I hope. I had wanted to show them as a group but I do not think I’ll be able to do that. so,
here are the originals I’ll be selling. There will be a second post with purchase links on the day, and you’ll be able to message me to purchase as well. Full sized prints will eventually be available but I don’t have a date for that.
Paintings from Quarantine, a series, 2020
all are watercolor paintings. charging by size and scope…
12×16″ are 150$
18×24″ are 500$
22×30″ are 900$
36×50″ are 1500$
shipping to US/CAN included: all will be rolled for shipping, unframed. I’ll ship any country, but will have to calculate for anywhere but US/CAN. rush shipping on request at cost.
no. 1 – Milan
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Dr. Marcelo Natali
1963-3/25/20
“We certainly weren’t prepared to face such a situation. Especially those of our generation, that of the post-antibiotic era, who grew up thinking that a pill against the disease was enough.”no. 2 – Northwestern United States
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Dr. Stephen M. Schwartz
(January 1, 1942 – March 17, 2020)
“There is no way to summarize a person as complex as Steve, but I’ll say this: I have never met a person with a finer mind, a greater passion for ideas, or who had a greater love for science,” Dr. Chuck Murry
“This beer virus I call it — they call it a coronavirus, I call it a beer virus — how do you like that?” Rep. Don Youngno. 3 – Iran
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Dr. Shirin Rouhani
(unknown- 3/19/20)
“She treated patients at Masih Daneshvari Hospital in Tehran while receiving IV therapy, because there were not enough doctors. Hospitals are faced with a lack of protective gear including medical gowns, N95 masks, gloves, and disinfectants.” -Javad Tavakoli
” Tell medècin sans frontiers that we do not need hospitals established by foreigners”. -Health Minister, Alireza Vahhabzadeh.no. 17 (final) – New Orleans, LA, USA
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Ronald Lewis
7/17/1951-3/20/2020
“Right here in the Ninth Ward was where our people chased the American dream.”
~ Ronald Lewis
“The federal government rose to the challenge and this is a great success story and I think that that’s really what needs to be told.”
~Jared Kutchnerno. 4 – Rikers Island, New York
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated to Michael Tyson, 53
“Incredible anxiety and fear. You cannot implement effective social distancing in a room that sleeps forty men. You cannot implement effective social distancing when those forty men are using two or three sinks and one of them may be broken. You cannot implement effective social distancing when the staff interacts with all of them and has to touch all of them in the course of a day.
They know that better than I know that. So when I was talking to them, I was sort of feebly saying, “We want to try to encourage people to be even more diligent about hand-washing, etc., etc.” They were, like, “O.K., we don’t have our own cleaning supplies.” They can’t wipe down their own surfaces. They have to wait for someone to come in and do that for them.”
“The largest category of people in city jails are those awaiting trial — people who have not been charged but not convicted. In the ordinary course of events, getting someone in this position out of jail requires an application made in court before a judge.”
-Dr. Bedard
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced on Monday that the state had found a way to counteract price gouging on hand sanitizer amid the COVID-19 outbreak: by deploying cheap prison labor. Incarcerated people will be producing the disinfectant… “This is a superior product to products now on the market,” Cuomo said in a briefing, adding that the state’s sanitizer has a “very nice floral bouquet” that includes hints of lilac, tulip, and hydrangea.no. 5 – Los Angeles, Mercy
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Francisco Garcia
“There’s a very limited supply, it’s a scary situation. Just going to work, driving to work, you’re worried you’re going to get something. It’s changing by the hour and by the day.” S. Beltran, ER nurse .
“This week the State Department has facilitated the transportation of nearly 17.8 tons of donated medical supplies to the Chinese people, including masks, gowns, gauze, respirators, and other vital materials.” -Mike Pompeo, Feb 7 2020no. 6 – Wuhan
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Dr. Li Wenliang
(1986-2/7/2020)
“I think there should be more than one voice in a healthy society, and I don’t approve of using public power for excessive interference.” -Dr. Li Wenliang
“Now, the Democrats are politicising the coronavirus… this is their new hoax.” -Donald Trump
“Trump has botched the response to coronavirus pandemic…classifying deliberations makes it harder for health experts in government without security clearances to be in key meetings. This is unprecedented, unnecessary, and damages our ability to respond to the pandemic.”
-Gregg Gonsalves, a Yale epidemiologist
“You, Dr. Li Wenliang, have been making false comments on the Internet, and will sign a letter of admonishment.”
-Police from the Wuhan Public Security Bureau, Jan 3 2020no. 7 – Madrid
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Dr. Isabel Munoz
( 1961 -3/24/2020)
“Her only obsession was not to infect anybody.” -Jesus Munoz
“Even if we all get sick, I’d rather die than kill the country.” -Glenn Beckno. 8 – Johannesburg
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Simon
(unknown)
“They put us here and now we are close to one another. This is why we will be vulnerable to catching Corona. Our government has failed us,” Simon, homeless man moved by police to stadium from the street.
“The lockdown has caused problems, but it is a necessary thing that South Africa had to do,” -Maider Mavi, Mozambique Health Ministry. “Anyone showing symptoms who goes to a state hospital will have their COVID-19 test for free.”
“The goal here is to keep Covid out of this community,” says Sasha Lalla, a leader at COSUP, a city-supported substance abuse program.
“I think then we will be seeing a situation where people with compromised immune systems are not just at risk of Covid-19, they are at risk of death. We have a responsibility to keep our most vulnerable safe,” he said. “One case here, it would be like wildfire.”no. 9 – New York City
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Father Antonio Checo
May 6, 1952-April 1, 2020
“Words cannot describe the sadness and hurt as well as the frustrations that this pandemic has brought about to our daily lives here and across the city…Effective today, all Episcopal churches have been ordered closed until May 17, 2020…we as your clergy are still accessible via phone as your pastors in these times. And since we cannot gather as a community until May, we want to begin to periodically send you the weekly bible readings as that you can use for private prayer worship.
…take an hour each day to pray these prayers remembering those who have died because of this pandemic, as well as those who are sick and those “essential” workers on the frontlines who ensure we as citizens have access to life sustaining resources for day to day living. We ask for the blessing of peace and hope to you all, and that all are safe in this time of uncertainty and anxiety.”
Rev. Antonio Checo and Rev. Jason Moskal, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church
“We brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place, and uh, if somebody walks through the door it’s like, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds. We have the most sterile building in, I don’t know, all of America.”
-Rodney Howard-Browne, River Tampa Bay Megachurchno. 10 – Tokyo
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for Ken Shimura
(20 February 1950 – 29 March 2020)
“I never feared getting an infection myself,” he said, because he knows “how infection control should be done.” But aboard the Diamond Princess, “I was so scared of getting COVID-19.”
“The cruise ship was completely inadequate in terms of the infection control.”
-Kentaro Iwata, who has dealt with infectious outbreaks, including Ebola, cholera and SARS, for more than 20 years.
“I’m choosing not to do it.” -donald trump, on masksno. 12 – Washington, DC
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Rabbi Romi Cohn
Holocaust survivor
March 10, 1929-March 24, 2020
“The crisis caused by the coronavirus may be the time to consider a universal basic wage.”
-Pope Francis
“God will shield us from all harm and sickness. We are not afraid. We are called by God to stand against the Antichrist creeping into America’s borders.”
-Tony Spell3no. 15 – Paris
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Dr. John F. Murray
pulmonologist
June 8, 1927 – March 24, 2020
“In all his dealings in the ICU, John treated every person with respect and held them to high standards, whether it was the intern just starting in the ICU or the fellow who was a much more senior trainee, or the nurses or the therapists. Everybody had something to offer and was treated as a member of this team.”
-Courtney Broaddus
“You have to do what’s best for your business.”
-Wayne Hoffman“Audience Participation, London”
22×30″, watercolorHouston has its Time
22×30″, watercolorCalling in the Forces, Sunflowers
22×30″ watercolorSkating in New York City
watercolor, 22×30″The Observers (Germany) watercolor on arches, 12×16″
no. 13 – Atlanta
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Rushia Johnson Stephens
music teacher
1954-2020
“Given our population density, high rate of asthma, and various underlying health conditions found within our city’s populations, I am issuing a Stay at Home Order for Atlantans.”
-Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms
“adding a public option to Obamacare is the best way to lower costs and cover everyone. 160 million people like their private insurance.”
-Joe BidenSOLD:
no. 11 – The Bronx
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Rakkhon Kim, a member of Branch 36 in New York City
1970-March 25,2020
“It is not an exaggeration to say that our men and women in the Postal Service, who were already performing one of the most important jobs in America, are now literally putting their own lives on the line to deliver the food, medicine, and essential supplies that hundreds of millions of Americans depend on every single day during this pandemic.”
-Senator Bernard Sanders
“It’s been losing billions of dollars a year for many, many years… this is the new one, I’m now the demise of the Postal Service. I’ll tell you who’s the demise of the Postal Service, are these internet companies that give their stuff to the Postal Service…They drop everything in the post office and they say, ‘You deliver it.’ “
-president Donald Trumpno. 14 – Lansing
(quarantine paintings, 2020)
watercolor, oil, gesso on arches paper, 18×24″
dedicated for
Lisa Ewald
nurse
1966-2020
“COVID-19 has impacted the lives of so many citizens throughout the state of Michigan, and even more pronounced in the city of Detroit, as we are the fastest growing city nationally with casualties related to this deadly disease.”
-Rep. Sherry Gay-Dagnogo
“LIBERATE MICHIGAN!”
-Donald Trump
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viahttp://resonanteye.net/horror-movie-list-2020-edition/
Horror Movie list: 2020 edition
We’ve seen so much real-world horror this year that it’s hard to top it. But in the spirit of all previous Halloween lists, I’m going to go ahead with this anyway.
TOP THIRTEEN!
In no particular order, the 13 movies you should be watching this week.
- attack the block: a classic, 10/10
- snowpiercer: uprising of the underclass. 9/10
- people under the stairs: BELONGS IN 2020. 9/10
- society: a better documentary than They Live. 9/10
- contagion: it drags a little, but have you gotten your hydroxychloroquine forsythia yet? 9/10
- us: class uprising, metaphorically. 9/10
- green room: racism, cults, punk rock culture, innawoods. 10/10
- the crazies: the kind of year it’s been. we didn’t realize our neighbors were this fucked up. 10/10
- the thing (even the sequel is good) every year, all the time, we’re gonna find out who’s the thing. 10/10
- children of men: how we’ve reacted isn’t much better. 10/10
- invasion of the body snatchers: you can’t tell if people are assholes or not, until now. now you can tell. 9/10
- the dead zone: we need this. we needed this a while ago. 8/10 (points deducted for effects)
- dead snow: We all wish we had snowmobiles and axes these days. 10/10
The rest of the movies aren’t listed in order of best/worst, just as I remember them. Themes listed and my short thoughts, and a 1-10 scale for my personal enjoyment. There’s been a lot of shitty horror made since my previous lists (see here,hereandhere) (and a list of horror passing various analytical tests, HERE)
click through for the big list.
movies since the last list
- Don’t be Afraid of the Dark: it’s about a little kid. Monster movie. Haunted house horror. 5/10 creepy little guys
- Resolution/the Endless: endless is the perfect sequel. Existential horror. Time travels. Cults. 10/10
- Autopsy of Jane Doe: medical, family issues, witches, existential dread about death, reminiscent of return of the living dead, slow burn, revenge, a new favorite. 10/10
- Kingdom: yes it’s a series. It’s the only horror series I’ve been able to sit through. Zombie/plague, politics, battle scenes. Science. 9/10 perfectly done
- Spectral: Army guys. Dimensional horror. Fight scenes. Folklore. 6/10 not bad, fighting gets tired after a while.
- Await Further Instructions: Racism. Family gatherings. Holidays. Just how people would behave. 9/10
- The Boy: Dolls. Ghoooooooosts. Creepy family relationships. House horror. no kids! 8/10
- Demonic: ghost hunters, paranormal, twist ending, police presence. well acted! 7/10
- Sinister 2: like most sequels, not good. about kids of course. Bad folklore references. 2/10
- The Stranger (2014): about a kid. mom was a vampire apparently… viral plagues, body horror. small town living. 9/10
- Bliss: Artists and art culture. Great characters. Party. 8/10
- He Never Dies: not a bad role for Rollins. immortality, violence, paranoia, revenge of a sort. 7/10
- Monster Party: serial killers, family dynamics, surprising facts about rehab. 6/10
- We Go On: some plot holes here… existential horror. afterlife, ghosts, stalking. 7/10
- House of the Devil: slow burn. predictable ending. rape, demons, cult. filmed beautifully but so what? 4/10
- Spring: folklore, relationships, body horror. INCREDIBLE. 9/10
- Terrified: plot holes. ghosts/existential horror, dimensions. effects are great. 8/10
- Cruising: serial killer, homophobia, cop content, sexual violence. a classic, acted perfectly, directed perfectly. 9/10
- The Silence: plot holes SO MANY PLOT HOLES. great creatures. monster movie/apocalyptic. 5/10
- Starfish: indie music vinyl collection part-anime monster movie. I know that SOUNDS good but… every instance of “it was all a dream” removed one point. confusing plot, nice monster. SO SLOW. 3/10
- We are Still Here: vintage feeling. haunted house/rotten small town. family problems. cold weather. 7/10
- Malevolent: pretty decent for a “ghost hunters” movie. 6/10
- Beyond the Black Rainbow: cults, mad science. If you liked “the invitation” you might like this. 5/10
- Spiral: this one scared me. With the way the world is now I felt real fear watching this. Building dread. homophobia, xenophobia, cults. 8/10
- Color out of Space: Nicholas Cage falls in love with a meteor and it’s nothing like the Lovecraft story. Just watch Lovecraft Country instead (unless you want to watch a comedy, it IS Cage, after all. and it got 3 extra points for casting Chong) 3/10
- The Fields: about a kid. but also about how creepy the rural areas of PA can be. great setting, great plot. 9/10
- Southbound: an anthology, which isn’t as coherent as I wished it was. some sections are worth the watch. 6/10
- Void: cults, medical and body horror, and interdimensional mad science. 8/10
- Under the Skin: strange aliens, with strange goals. rape, of course, because the main character’s a “woman”. 6/10
- Get Out: Holy shit rich white people scare me. 9/10
- Antiviral: medical and body horror, doppelgangers, and paranoia. 8/10
- Mayhem: Every workplace should be unionized. infection, medical horror, violence with office supplies. 10/10
- digging up the marrow
- Eli: you’ve seen this movie before, but you won’t know it until the end of the movie. I’m not sure I like that. it’s also about a kid. medical horror, demons, ghosts. 4/10
- in the tall grass: Time travel/elder gods and of course the King fear of Native sacred ground. well made. 8/10
- it comes at night: paranoia, disease and isolation all wrapped up neatly in a good mystery story. 7/10
- they look like people: Paranoia, so much paranoia. 9/10
- Baskin: demons and deals. 6/10
- Ma: just an incredible revenge story. teenagers, but not about teenagers. Great cast and slow build of dread throughout. 9/10
- Midsommar: revenge movie with a cult to help it along. slow, and pretty. overrated. 6/10
- XX: anthology that’s a 50/50 hit. rated slightly higher because the hits are really, really worth it. 6/10
- Train to Busan: zombies aren’t as tired out as a genre as you’d think. yeah, it’s about a kid. ugh. 7/10
- The Golem: antisemitism, colonial times, women fixing shit. yes, it’s about a kid. fuck sake 7/10
- Thirst: Catholic vampire romance horror. What more is there? medical horror too. 7/10
- Into the Forest: I understand that there’s two women as main characters during a power outage apocalypse so there’s got to be rape, but still. 4/10
- Tales of Halloween: gives trick r treat a run for its money. ADRIENNE BARBEAU. 7/10
- Platform: seems more relevant now than last year. Very violent; plot holes or three. Great acting. 6/10
- The Vampire’s Assistant: I’m not usually a horror-comedy fan, but this movie had it all. spiders too. 8/10
- Don’t Kill It: fresh premise, good plot. demons, possession, and paranoia. 8/10
- Cold Skin: everything the Lighthouse SHOULD have been. Colonizer/Native metaphors. monster movie, with a twist. Antarctic isolation horror. 9/10
- Hereditary: overrated, but not bad. family issues, cults, motherhood. yes it’s about a kid/teenager. 6/10
- Demon: addresses the leftover horror of genocide, family issues, weddings, and being a stranger in a strange land. 8/10
- Patchwork: technically a horror comedy which I usually dislike. Still, it was done well- callbacks to reanimator! no rape scenes, which is amazing for a film with 3 women leads. 8/10
- A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night: unsatisfying ending, but excellent throughout. classic, straightforward vampire story, in a fresh setting. 8/10
older movies I strongly suggest
- rare exports: Santa? not a good thing. 9/10
- the stuff: addiction, consumer culture. 7/10
- return of the living dead parts 1,2 and 3: 10/10, 8/10, 9/10
- the relic: science gone wrong due to egos. 8/10
- pioughkeepsie tapes: serial killer culture done as a fake true-crime documentary. 10/10 if you watch a lot of those, 7/10 if you don’t get those references
- the diabolical: ghosts or time travel or some kind of dimension warps? 9/10
- the ruins: when the locals tell you to fuck off, fuck off. this is a killer plant movie. 9/10
- the girl next door: pure American sociopathy. rape, torture, and the “good old days” 9/10
- splice: mad science and monsters. rape and rape-adjacent scenes, of course, since women are lead characters. 7/10
- grave encounters: 10/10 of you watch ghost bro shows. 6/10 if you don’t
- dog soldiers: possibly the perfect werewolf movie. 10/10
- dead birds: possibly the perfect Civil War movie. 10/10
- body bags: anthology. hits and misses. 6/10
- dead alive: the perfect zombie romance movie. Nothing has ever come close. 10/10
- vamp: it has Grace Jones. 9/10
- altered: the best alien movie ever made. 10/10
- final destination: the grim reaper is rube goldberg. 7/10
- Pan’s labrynth: the horrors of fascism. but about a kid. 9/10
- freaks: the original, the classic unity revenge story. 10/10
- candyman: city horror, a rarity. real bees. 10/10
- freaked: horror comedy. 6/10
- the mist: the best ending. 10/10
- the taking of Deborah Logan: medical horror plus some supernatural stuff. 9/10
- it follows: disease is on everyone’s mind right now. pretentious, but excellent concept and plot. 8/10
- Ganja and Hess: classic vampires. 10/10
- the girl with all the gifts: how to make a zombie movie worth watching after all these decades. no humor at all. perfect. except it’s about a kid. 9/10
- the horde: what it might actually be like if there were zombies. no information, no help. 9/10
- mama: finally, a stepmom/adopted mom that’s GOOD. but it’s about kids. 6/10
- the fly: sexy body horror and mad science. 8/10
- flatliners: mad science, death, ghosts. 7/10
- slither: I take it back. THIS is the best alien movie ever made. 11/10
- dark skies: a decent alien movie, but it’s about a kid. 7/10
- critters: we’ve come for the crites. 6/10
- trick r treat: still an 8/10
- fright night: the original. 9/10
- troll hunter: government agencies have to handle monsters somehow. 10/10
- the host: a better monster movie than so, so many. 9/10
- pighunt: we’re all in it together 10/10
- Willard: rats, cats, and a weirdo’s revenge 9/10
- cold fish: serial killer culture 8/10
- night watch/day watch fantasy horror with every creature you can imagine and the cops that watch them. good vs evil without any gods in the way. 10/10
- Ravenous (NOT 2017): the original, not the recent one. colonizers gonna pay. amazing soundtrack. 9/10
- the shrine: final girl gets what she deserves. 8/10
- American werewolf in London: damn good effects for the time, jumps right into the action. 9/10
- the pact: ghosts, serial killers, family issues, haunted houses. 9/10
- the woman: revenge, sociopaths, the horror behind the mask of the upper class. rape, but… 10/10
- reanimator: Jeffrey Combs is the only mad scientist. Rape-y stuff, but no rape. body horror and zombies, a classic. 10/10
- blade: the first Blade movie changed the vampire genre. 9/10
- the descent: claustrophobic, women in battle, monster movie. paranoia and perception. 10/10
- the strain (series): this and kingdom are the only series I’ll recommend in horror right now. 9/10 until the last season. that’s a 6/10
- pighunt: we’re all in it together. 10/10
- the burrowers: colonizers and monsters, and who can tell the difference. 10/10
Additional list may come during the year, I’ll try to keep adding more.
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viahttp://resonanteye.net/quarantine-paintings-series-two/
quarantine paintings: series two
the first series were all 18×24″
these are larger, 22×30″. looser.more emotional.
I had a difficult time working on the first series, with a lot of stops and starts. I’ve added the last few to that post.The world is in a flux, a liminal moment.
These are times when creating anything is difficult for me. I feel that collective unease, hope, fear, pain, anticipation. And I have all those feelings. It can get overwhelming.I’ve never been good at actually starving- in times when I’m suffering, broke, afraid, it’s harder for me to do any work at all, let alone anything I feel is any good. Hard times make hard art, for me.
Yet here I am, trying.
I’ve applied for every grant I can find and not gotten one. No SBA, or anything. I did get a stimulus check- that’s about what I earn a week, and I’m still paying off bills related to being a cancer caregiver for a year (I was off work up until last fall). It didn’t stretch far. I guess we’ll see if that stuff changes for me. Regardless, these won’t be for sale for a little while. I’ll probably do a print run. I’ll try to show them. I don’t know what gallery will have them though.Lucky me, I’ll not be homeless, unless illness strikes us again. I’m in fear of that.
I’m in fear. I’ll admit it. I don’t understand how anyone can not be, on some level. Whether admitted or not- I can feel your fear all around. The aggression in the air, the sadness, and the fear underlying it.
I feel it, you feel it, everyone is feeling it. Some will lie- but fear isn’t weakness. You’ve got to just feel it. Let it be there. Don’t panic, of course- or panic in controlled ways, I guess. But be cautious. Fear is how our natural bodies tell us there is danger, and listening to our intuition and being cautious isn’t a bad thing. Living despite fear, the name for that is bravery. You are brave.
I feel also a great protective kindness. Most people, MOST people, want to help each other. We all want to be helpful, useful, good to each other. We are not only afraid for ourselves. Those who don’t care are a minority-loud, but small. Fuck em.
This is the most reassuring thing I know, right now. I’m holding to it. I hope you can too.
series two: updated as I go.
“Busting the Line, Nebraska”
22×30″, watercolor“Audience Participation, London”
22×30″, watercolor
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Our debut EP Stupid Little Girls will (finally) be out for you to hear on 12/11.
Artwork by Annabel Cutler (ig: annabelcutler)
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Vintage human anatomy book
