Summary:Because the Herbology professor stole his date.

Rating/Warnings: T (sexual references; Herbology Professor!Neville; Charms Professor!Reader; set during Next Generation timeline)

Fic Trade Prompt: Why Didn’t the Skeleton Go to the Dance?

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Why Didn’t the Skeleton Go to the Dance?

After the fiasco that was the Triwizard Tournament, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry pretty much put the kibosh on anything related to the competition. This included balls for a good number of years–at least until the students’ cry for chaperoned romance became so loud that even Headmistress Professor McGonagall threw up her hands in surrender. Since that time, the school held one ball a year, each on the same day: Halloween.

It came as no surprise to anyone that Professor Longbottom tried his best to stay away from such festivities. A near-run-in with a troll on Halloween of his first year left him a little nervous about the day, even as a full-grown man nearly as famous as Harry Potter. That didn’t stop Professor McGonagall from trying to convince him to chaperone every year, but Neville preferred to spend the evening looking after his mandrakes.

When he wandered back into the castle that Halloween night, however, the ball was still in full swing. An unexpected frost had killed much of his stock, leaving Neville with very little to do outside of fit the rest of the mandrakes with scarves. The music was sure to continue for several hours, rendering an early bedtime moot. He lingered in the hallway, listening to sounds of revelry drifting from the great hall. At least the ball had food, and there was nothing to be afraid of except a few students getting a little too intimate with their dates.

Or so Neville thought until he heard some very strange banging coming from a nearby classroom. He nearly leapt out of his skin, then paused, waiting for the sound to come again. When it did, the bumps accompanied a cry of “No! Not like that. Oh, come on! It’s nearly over!”

He stepped closer and then closer still. Almost without thinking, Neville lifted his hand toward the room’s door’s handle.  Before he could work up the nerve to open the door, someone burst out of it–or maybe twosomeones. The first careened straight into his chest before he could get a good look at things.

“Oh!” you said as you pushed yourself off of him. “Longbottom!”

“Um…[L Name],” Neville answered with a frown.

One of your hands had encircled his arm so that you could steady yourself. Your other hand was preoccupied by the skeleton standing behind you wearing a set of dress robes. Once you righted yourself, your eyes followed Neville’s gaze as you brushed the hair from your face.

“Where are my manners?” you said, and tugged on the skeleton’s arm. The laugh that followed sounded distinctly uncomfortable. “This is Roger. Roger, this is Professor Longbottom.”

“Hello…Roger,” Neville said with a small wave.

Roger turned his head away as though he were disgusted by Neville’s appearance.

You elbowed Roger in the rib cage. “Roger! Be nice!”

By then, Neville was frowning at you. Your hair was in disarray, though you’d clearly tried to do it up nicely to go along with your dress. Your ditzy demeanor was nothing new, however; Neville often wondered how in the world you had convinced Professor McGonagall of all people to give you the Charms position. That did not stop him from being curious, though, especially as Roger began to drag you down the hall toward the ball.

“What were you doing in there with a skeleton?” Neville asked as you managed to get Roger to stop. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t what he often caught the sixth years at in vacant classrooms after dark.

At first, he thought that would be quite the feat, considering Roger’s missing several important fleshy bits, but then you turned a light shade of pink. A second later, you looked back at Roger, who quickly shook his head. You released his bony fingers and took a step toward Neville.

“You can’t tell anyone okay?”

“Uh…” was all Neville said in response.

He really, reallydidn’t want to know about your kinks. You both planned to stay at Hogwarts for quite a while still, and it would make talking to you in the teachers’ lounge difficult. Clearly, you had no idea where Neville’s thought were headed, though, because you continued in a pleading whisper:

“I just really wanted to go to the dance.”

“I…see,” said Neville, though he apparently did not.

“Please don’t tell Professor Pendragon!” you squeaked. “I was going to put Roger back as soon as the ball was over, and I was going to take the charm off of him, too!”

Slowly, Neville nodded. Then it occurred to him that feigning understanding would get him nowhere.

“Okay, I have no idea what’s going on here. Are you saying you charmed the Alchemy professor’s skeleton so you could take him on a date?” he asked.

“I didn’twantto,” you said in a rush. “But…no one asked me, and I…really wanted to go. If I danced by myself, I’d look like an idiot.”

Before you even finished your explanation, Neville was chuckling. Your last words trailed away into a tear-filled stare as you watched.

“It’s not funny! You don’t know how it is, being a single woman in a castle full of children and elderly teachers. I’m never going to get married, never!”

“You could date Professor Pendragon,” Neville offered, and got only a shove for his suggestion. “All right, all right. I won’t tell him. But it would probably be better if you went ahead and put Roger back. Won’t Pendragon notice when he sees you two dancing?”

Maybe you hadn’t thought of that, because you paled instantly at Neville’s words. Still, the look you threw Roger was one of great remorse. His only response was to tap his feet against the floor. You turned back to Neville.

“But…”

He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder. “I’ll go with you. That way both of us have an excuse to be there.”

“You will?”

Neville nodded. If Roger had eyes, the look he shot Neville as you lifted your wand definitely would have been a glare. Unfortunately, the skeleton had no time to prevent his second demise. With a flick of your wand, all life disappeared from his bones, and you caught the collapsing structure easily in your arms. A moment later, Roger disappeared.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” you exclaimed, and took Neville’s hand. “I’ve never had a date with someone living before!”

Somehow, Neville thought to himself as you yanked him after you into the great hall, he wasn’t surprised.

MASTERLIST

HOGWARTS

Fred Weasley

idiot | f.w.

talk too much | f.w.

Draco Malfoy

a lady and a boy | d.m.

daddy issues | d.m.

CRIMINAL MINDS

Aaron Hotchner

the best profiler in the room | a.h.

Spencer Reid

chess | s.r

Pairing: Neville x reader 

Requested: neville headcanon with prompt 64 (picnic date) 

Warnings: none

———————————–

• Once you started living together he wanted to do everything he could for you
• This meant thinking up every type of date he could
• When he suggested a picnic you were excited
• You wanted to help him with packing all the food
• But he wouldn’t let you go anywhere near it
• That morning he’d banned you from the kitchen
• You both walked hand in hand outside of your house
• Walking to the park by your house was fun
• Until you tried peaking into the basket earning a small swat of Neville’s hand
• You helped spread out the blanket and you both sat down
• You didn’t start eating right away
• Just staying and talking to each other was enough
• You were almost in tears when he finally opened the basket and saw all of your favorite foods
• You fed each other while you spoke
• And you admired the other
• You couldn’t help but curl into his side when he fed you
• When you fed him the last bite he teasingly bit your finger and you both laughed
• Kissing in public wasn’t something Neville was fond of
• But he gave you a long passionate kiss right there in the middle of the park

———————————–

Tag list: Inbox/message me if you’d like to be added (comments sometimes get lost amongst notifications)

@mathletemadison​@severuslovebot​@izzytheninja​@obsessedwithrandomthings​@jpow345​@accio-rogers​@supermassiveblackhope​@tinylumpiaa​@siren-queen03​@chanelwonders​@crumpets-are-better-with-jam​@theweasleytwinsgirl​@jenniweaslee​@woodenpevensie​@dreaming-about-fanfictions​@caswinchester2000​@imboredandneedalife​

theleftovertaco:

1000 Follower Celebration

How in the fuck did I get here?

Honestly, thank y'all so much for 1000 I never expected that I would even get 100. So for the next two weeks, with some limits, (mentioned in my intro and master list post) I will write any imagine, blurb, headcanon, or oneshot that you send in a request for (Monday 2nd to Sunday 15th). I will also maybe accept asks or ideas for full fics with multiple chapters. So ask away!

I’m also going to update my master list so everything from the kink game and my previous fics will be on there by the end of the week and easily accessible.

1000 Follower Celebration

How in the fuck did I get here?

Honestly, thank y'all so much for 1000 I never expected that I would even get 100. So for the next two weeks, with some limits, (mentioned in my intro and master list post) I will write any imagine, blurb, headcanon, or oneshot that you send in a request for (Monday 2nd to Sunday 15th). I will also maybe accept asks or ideas for full fics with multiple chapters. So ask away!

I’m also going to update my master list so everything from the kink game and my previous fics will be on there by the end of the week and easily accessible.

Love Languages

Had a though about which love languages each of the boys would subscribe to (receiving, not giving, if you want me to make that one I probably can)

People mentioned: Harry, Fred, George, Neville, Ron, Oliver, Draco

Harry

• Harry likes physical touch.
• As a child he barely got any affection from people, and he was initially uncomfortable showing much of any physical affection
• However, once you openly showed him said affection, the two of you were attached at the hip.
• It does not matter where you are, if your in the same room, your probably touching in some way.
• If it’s a large public setting, it’s likely just pinkies, hands, or arms that are linked. But in the presence of close friends he’ll gladly return a hug, and when you’re alone it’s an entirely different story.
• He will literally flop on top of you, hold onto you, and hold you until you’ve both fallen asleep.
• He also enjoys sitting on your lap or you sitting on his lap.
• Stroke his hair or run your fingers on his face or over his eyes and he will melt
• Anyways yea Harry is a cuddle whore

Fred

• Fred likes quality time
• You don’t always spend every moment next to each other, boundaries are really important to both of you and you both respect those boundaries.
• But when you are together, it is the best time either of you could have.
• Sneaking into the kitchens at 3 am to eat sweets.
• Shopping at Hogsmeade, getting butterbeer, watching muggle movies
• If you like practical jokes you gladly take part in them, if not then he respects that.
• Sometimes he just wants someone to listen to him.
• So he’ll lay next to you and just talk, for hours.
• About school, about his latest pranks, about family.
• If you can use the time you have together in a way that makes you both happy, then he will love you forever.
• To him, it’s not about the amount of time you spend with him, it’s about what you both do with it.

George

• George likes words of affirmation- he always feels like he lives in his siblings shadow
• Occasionally that means living in Fred’s shadow too.
• People never really acknowledge them as separate people, and sometimes he needs reassurance that someone sees him as an individual.
• Telling him on a daily basis, that you see him as a separate person, even if you don’t have to say those exact words, is important to him.
• He also just really likes hearing that you believe in and love him
• Within 2 weeks of you dating he greets you with an “I love you.”
• And at first he freezes when he realizes what it is that he said.
• But when you reply with reciprocation he melts.
• The first time you tell him you love him, he practically combusts with happiness.
• This could also translate to a praise kink but we’re not gonna talk about that rn ;)

Neville

• Neville prefers gifts
• Not necessarily expensive ones, just small little things, trinkets and such
• If you just hand him a shiny rock he lets out this little trill of happiness and adds it to his collection alongside his plants
• If you give him a plant he’ll fucking collapse.
• Once when you came back from a trip over Christmas, you gave him seeds to a rare plant that wasn’t found in Europe, he nearly burst from excitement
• That was the first time he kissed you in public
• He also really likes candy and once when you brought him these little rock candies that were only found in muggle stores he practically ripped the wrapper off and shoved them into his mouth.
• (He shared of course)
• Neville often gets his fathers hand-me-downs, and while he enjoys them, it sucks that his grandmother refuses to buy him anything of his own
• So when you buy him a sweater and a pair of slacks he almost cries
• Sugar baby Neville au i said what i said

Ron

• Ron likes acts of service
• A lot of it is when you help him with things like homework
• Sometimes Hermione is too tired or unwilling to and when you step in to help where you can, its like a little piece of him falls in love with you all over again
• But part of it is other forms of service
• A few months before you were together, Ron had a really bad day and returned to the common room with a huge headache, and when you offered to give him a head massage he decided he was gonna ask you out
• Sometimes just running your hands through his hair after a long day makes him absolutely melt into the couch cushions
• He also often gets homesick, especially when it comes to food, and if you cook or bake for him, he practically jumps in the fucking air
• You called his mom once to get a recipe for these Christmas cookies that he missed since he couldn’t go home for Christmas one year and if you both hadn’t been in public he would have cried
• When you brought him homemade candies he did cry (he’d had a long day, let him live)
• But yea sometimes he just needs someone to take care of him nothing wrong with that my dudes

Oliver

• Oliver likes an even mix of gifts and and acts of service tbh
• Often for Christmas or his birthday you’ll get him a new broom servicing kit or a book about Puddlemere United
• One year you managed to get one of his favorite books signed by some of Puddlemere’s players
• When you presented it to him he tackled you in a hug so tight you thought your lungs would pop.
• He also really likes trying new candies so you get him a subscription box where he can try new ones from around the world and the two of you spend a few days every month trying new candies together for a year.
• When it comes to acts of service its a little more physical
• Quidditch takes a toll on a person’s body so often he’ll come back from a game or a practice and just collapse.
• So if you give him a massage he’ll practically sink into the bed.
• Dude is just tired sometimes give him a break

Draco

• Draco is probably into words of affirmation
• I think people would assume it’s gifts but that’s actually how he shows love to other people because that’s how his parents showed love to him even though it’s not necessarily what he wants
• But yeah I think Draco sometimes deals with a lot of shit especially during 6-7 year and so he’s probably stressed as shit
• And feeling really guilty about what he’s having to do
• But he feels like he has no choice or else he and his parents are going to die.
• So sometimes he just needs reassurance that he’s not a terrible person
• Occasionally after working on the cabinet in the ROR he’ll just go to you and collapse on your shoulder and start sobbing
• Sometimes just making sure he knows that he’s okay and that he’s loved will make him want to cry
• Anyways Draco Malfoy redemption arc

If u hoes don’t send me asks for the new year

Summary: Neville is the best plant scientist man and y/n is a little dumb dumb, but loves his smart boyfriend.

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Male Reader

Key: (Y/N)- your name.

Word Count: 1028

Neville sat quietly to himself, smiling fondly at the beautiful bloom he had created. It felt nice to be good at something for once. He’d taken such care with the now not so small plant. It’s soft blossoms freshly awake upon hearing Neville’s cooing and encouragement. It almost looked like it leaned towards him with its fragile frame as Neville tendered to its aquatic terrarium. Four small bottles of honey with different labels sitting in front of four similar terrariums.

“Can I taste it now?” (Y/N) impatiently tapped his foot against the stool as he hovered around the project. Neville shook his head at his boyfriend as he took down his daily plant report.

‘Week 3, Day 23, flower blossoms unaffected by picking. Roots intact and water level not past an acceptable level. Counter potion to the weed taken-‘ He tries to think for a minute, then looks at his watch ‘1 hour and 23 minutes ago. Taste test 1:’ He sighs, looking at the different bottles and then back at (Y/N).

“Are you sure you want to do this? I could’ve made an error or missed a step or messed with the breeding-“ He was about to list every one of the cons on his pro and con list for this project, but (Y/N) stopped him.

“Free honey? Duh, I want to. We took a counter potion made by yours truly. I have full confidence in potion skills” He sat proudly, pointing at the half empty foul tasting potion they had drunk.

“Your funeral.” He sighed again, warily picking up the first bottle and a spoon.

“OUR funeral.” (Y/N) clarified which made Neville look a little sick. He took his hand and placed it on Neville’s forearm, squeezing it in reassurance.

“Hey, hey. You’re an expert at this, Longbottom. You’ve been on this-“ He vaguely circled his hand around the crossbreeds. “When this succeeds-” “If.” “WHEN this succeeds, you’re gonna be a legend. Imagine the big fat HUGE book you’re going to write about these beauties. I’ll read it, even if I don’t understand a word” (Y/N) smiled, making Neville a bit better exploiting his boyfriend’s taste buds.

Neville gulped as (Y/N) took the spoon into his hand, opening up the first of the four bottles. “Not too much.” He put a hand on his boyfriend worryingly so. “I know, I know. You’ve explained it 500 times.” He took Neville’s hand away from his own to dip into the honey.

(Y/N) dipped the spoon in, pulling it out to let it dip down slowly. Taking care to make sure there was only a thin film of honey covering it. “This one is?” He asked looking up at Neville. “Dandelion gillyweed crossbreed honey. It’s supposed to taste good according to…” He looked down at the recipe book on the table, the name ‘Alice’ with a vicious scribble next to it and an arrow pointing up to replace it with ‘Longbottom.’

“A-according to mum.” He said after a small pause, (Y/N) gave a nod and licked the spoon, his eyes widened as he looked back at the honey and back at Neville continuously. Once his mouth wasn’t attacking the honey, he took a breath and spoke.

“Wow. That was… that was delicious. That was incredible! That… that doesn’t taste like anything I have EVER tasted.” He exclaimed, beaming up at Neville who looked back at the cookbook with a blush creeping on his face.

“I thought that m-maybe giving the gillyweed a sweeter taste combined with the previous things discovered about dandelions could…” He trailed off on a usual dump of information, something about the stomach acid properties of dandelion roots and the gillyweed effects on immune system responses. He couldn’t understand most of it, but the way Neville explained it made it sound interesting enough. (Y/N) couldn’t stop looking at his eyes lighting up and the sweetness of the honey he just sampled that when Neville went quiet and looked back at him he barely registered it.

“Neville?” He smiled fondly at his boyfriend, making Neville swivel his head back to the report, writing something he was sure was of some importance.

“Yeah?” He replied as nonchalantly as he could without acknowledging the redness of his face. (Y/N) came up behind him and hugged him from behind, placing a little peck into the back of his neck.

“Keep going.” He hummed satisfied to listen for another day if Neville needed it. He always noticed Neville’s best was when he could bounce ideas around others and this was by far the most complex experiment he had come up with.

“If you insist,” Neville smiled to himself as he wrote down a little note ‘thank you gift for (Y/N), very important!!!’ scribbled next to the sketch of the dandelion/gillyweed hybrid.

After an hour of tasting, testing, and reviewing the honey. (Y/N) concluded that the first one tasted the best, followed by a very lovely looking somehow purple lavender honey that he swear tasted like Year 3 summer making Neville’s blush worsen. With the sun low below the clouds and the potion wearing off, they decided it was time to get dinner and sleep finally.

“Are you sure I didn’t bore you?” Neville nervously fidgeted with a frayed end of his tie, twisting and twirling at the thread.

“For the millionth time, Neville Longbottom, no! If I didn’t enjoy watching you dork out about plants, I don’t think I would be here, would I?” He pulled Neville down by the cheeks looking him in the eyes with a fiery ‘Say another bad thing about my boyfriend and I’ll kiss you so hard’ look on his face and a little determination.

“No” Neville frowned under the cheek holding and (Y/N) sighed.

“Exactly, I love your nerdy little brain” He pulled squished Neville’s cheeks toward him scrunching up his nose,then pulling his face in, he went for a kiss on the forehead, cheek and then lips.

“Now when are we going to test it for real, huh?” He smirked, looking back at the jars of honey and notes.