#positive suggestions
the other day, one of my newer friends told me that she knew she wanted to be friends with me when a group of us were talking in a big circle and i backed up a little bit so she could be apart of the circle instead of outside of it. i didn’t even remember doing that and it just goes to show that small gestures and acts of kindness go such a long way and can completely transform someone else’s life. the cherry on top is that these things tend to have a snowball effect, and it can transform your life in ways you could never imagine, so go make someone’s day
realizing i spend too much time worrying about embarrassment. i don’t know something? that’s okay. i haven’t seen that movie or know about that book? that’s okay. i do something that makes my life easier that people consider the “lazy way”? that’s okay. i like this harmless thing people think is “cringe”? that’s totally okay. it’s a waste of energy to criticize myself because of the judgement i anticipate from others.
to men who have or are facing abuse: your experiences are real and valid. you should never have to just take it to be a man. domestic abuse affects all genders. don’t feel like speaking up is weakness.
people will come and go from your life, sometimes with no clear reason. it’s not your fault nor theirs. you just drift apart and outgrow the friendship you once had. it’s so sad to see it go, but know that there will be others to look forward to.
don’t mistake people being rude and judgement for constructive criticism. life is too short to be concerned with rude assumptions that don’t truly say anything about you or your character.
being sensitive doesn’t make you over sensitive. it’s okay to feel and to react.
i sometimes forget there aren’t official rules for what you have to know as an adult. don’t need to read the latest ny times bestseller, don’t need to know the differences between wines, don’t need to have seen all the cult classic movies, don’t need to have endless crazy fun college stories. i know not everyone feels this pressure, but as i’m getting older, sometimes it feels like i have to fake knowing certain experiences. and i really don’t.
life will not always solely be survival mode. it will be really living instead of just staying alive.
days don’t have to be great to be good days. good days can be calm and relatively uneventful, a small rest from seemingly longer days. those are the ones i find myself overlooking and then missing. there were days when i tasted really good fresh fruit or bought a happy little bee plant or took a nice nap or had lunch outside under the sun. those were good days i should have given more credit.
having an old memory resurface or a trigger come up out of the blue sometimes doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward and moving on. it’s just a part of the process, and it likely won’t ever fully go away because it’s a part of you and your past. but you are still growing and healing.
note to self: stop wasting energy being embarrassed by things that bring me joy. yes, i do like stupid skit youtube comedy videos. yes, i do like poorly done sequels. yes, i do like foods basically everyone in this area of the country finds gross.
reminder: “it made you who you are” doesn’t mean the trauma happened for a reason
spring allows so many things to grow and begin again. you deserve to spend your spring growing and beginning again.
Everyday is a struggle and it takes courage and patience to get through it all. So, everyone out there, you’ve made it this far. You are brave and you deserve to get to a day where everything will be fine.
Hang in there, we can do it, I promise.
honestly I’m so full of love to give and that will never ever change, no matter how many times my heart was broken
Getting out of your shell is good, but it doesn’t have to be fast or all at once. It’s okay to say no to something today because you said yes yesterday, to postpone events you don’t feel ready for, to make plans one at a time. You don’t have to be running to get to where you want to be, you can take it slow.
For everything you like, there’ll be someone who hates it. For everything you say, there’ll be someone who disagrees. For everything you make, there’ll be someone who disapproves. The point is that by saying you should always stay true to yourself, we mean that your personal happiness is more important than other peoples approval or disapproval. Whatever you try, you’ll run into people who will try to force their own opinions on you, but if they can have one and be secure in it, so can you. Be true to yourself by keeping the things you love close and being willing to learn about other perspectives without necessarily adapting to them or letting them dictate how you live.
Be proud of yourself for how hard you are trying.
When Dumbledore said “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
And when Taylor Swift said "And the old widow goes to the stone every day. But I don’t, I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living.”
And when Khalil ur Rehman said “That we remain living, is the sad ending.”
