#self-development

I think that a worse fate than having no “the good old days” would be to think that “the good old days” was all there was, and it’s over.

One good thing about the unpleasantness of my past is that it gives me no reason to cling to it.  If I ever need justification for willfully forgetting huge portions of it, for discarding mementos, I can say “because it does not bring me joy”.  I am doing myself a favor by throwing away memories soaked with emotional pain.  I am healing by letting go.  It is freedom.

It is the freedom to turn away from what used to be, to discard the anchors of the past, and turn toward a future I build myself.  One in which I am stronger, more comfortable, calmer.  One which brings me joy.

I strive never to look back on the past and say “those were the good old days.”  I want to look at the present and say “these are the good old days.”

And then look at the future and add “and it’s going to get even better.”

the other day, one of my newer friends told me that she knew she wanted to be friends with me when a group of us were talking in a big circle and i backed up a little bit so she could be apart of the circle instead of outside of it. i didn’t even remember doing that and it just goes to show that small gestures and acts of kindness go such a long way and can completely transform someone else’s life. the cherry on top is that these things tend to have a snowball effect, and it can transform your life in ways you could never imagine, so go make someone’s day

Try self-love in lieu of Valentine’s Day hubbub, and to hell with complainers. Instead of buying yourself gifts (or, in addition to), let’s let some things go. For example, our societal mandate to be pleasing to the eye.   This is a paraphrased quote from Erin McKean’s fabulous, entertaining, and long-lived blog, A Dress A Day. The relevant part reads: You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to…

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Resolved to: give 0 damns. 

Gina Barreca is a treasured comic, writer, and revered crone here in Connecticut.Her recent columnon turning 61 was not a gift wishlist, but a list of what she hopes to KonMari the hell out of her mindset, and the values she wants to focus on now now that she’s a woman of a certain age.

Her prompt was: What changes, for better and for worse, as we get older?

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The dark of our long New England winter is the perfect time to clear what no longer serves us well, and to listen to our heart as we set our goals and aspirations.

The last couple of years, I’ve found it really helpful to work with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map process, Ink + Volt’s planners, and returning frequently to the wisdom of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estesto stay grounded in my…

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smiles-advice:

my joy doesn’t have to look like yours