#proana promia
Superrrrr Long rant (merry Christmas )
I can’t stand motherfuckers who use their ED to justify being horrible to others.
Like sorry Jessica, skipping dinner doesn’t give you an excuse to call me a bitch. I’ve been in this game since I was 12. I treat others right. It’s such a scapegoat. Like you aren’t possessed, it’s you! You are your disorder! You are your problem! It’s not your fault but it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. I don’t feel sorry for you, I don’t care if you’re fucked up. Most people are. It’s not a unique struggle. The biggest asshole, waste of air, lowlifes are the people who treat mental illness like this demon that controls them(giving them a freepass to be awful). It’s not. It influences your thoughts which CAN influence your actions. When it comes to binging that can be very difficult to stop, but being nice to others? Hard sometimes but never impossible. And if you are human and do call someone a bitch, you apologize for real. No excuses. No pity party. You hurt someone and right now you gotta make it about them not about you. Despite what you might think, being fucked up doesn’t make you anymore important then someone else. Your illness doesn’t give you any fucking value. It’s just an illness. Nothing more. Sorry for the rant, I’m just sick of seeing so many self centered post in this tags. NO ONE IS SPECIAL HERE. WE LITERALLY HAVE A SUPER COMMON SET OF ISSUES. EVEN THEN BEING UNIQUE ISNT AN EXCUSE TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. (Unless you’re rich)
I got my period. At least that explains the bloat recently.
Also I’m 110.2 now. It’s lower then I’ve been but it hurts knowingly I was 98 before. Oh well, I’m moving on the right direction.
Also being at home is hard. Having to convince everyone that I’m doing so well is difficult. Especially since my mother is being nice. She even let me keep my food separate from the family’s. It eased my mind a little. Still I feel like it’s all gonna be eaten up by other people.
So… im relapsing.
Back to what worked
Fasting and trying my best not to purge.
I do not know my current weight but it’s not horrible.
I have like a second wind. It feels like I’m gonna enter the honeymoon phase of a relapse.
My metabolism is probably boosted which I’m excited about.
If it is I’m going to integrate metabolism days into this relapse.
Im gonna be a bit more active on here now.
Also it was nice to see that once I’m ready I can just eat again and I won’t gain like crazy.
