The way my hips sway every time that I walk

The piercing regret that sets in after I talk

When I look in the mirror it’s a monster I see

A monster that looks a whole lot like me
I don’t understand when this girl got so bad

I just wish her eyes in the mirror weren’t so sad

You see, I feel disconnected from the reflection that I own.
No more confidence
Into self-loathe I’ve grown.

r.t.

If you want to talk to him: go ahead
Dial his number and press call
But when he feeds you the same lines again be careful not to fall.

Life’s too short to worry.
Does he miss me?
Or did he move on?
But if you find out he does miss you, be careful not to fawn

If you’re still in love with him; that’s okay.
Just protect yourself from the games he plays.

Don’t let yourself break
Don’t let yourself fall.

But by golly if you want to see him, Just call.

r.t.

How lovely it is to have someone care
How lovely to know that someone is there.
How lovely to feel as lovely as can be.
Lovely is all I feel, when you’re with me.

A glass frame of mine.
A glass frame of mind.

Staring in at a stranger
Stranger staring back
My mind as good as shattered
Beauty scarred with cracks

A reflective type of window.
A respective type of window.

Distorted truth
Claimed it’s credibility like a crook
Hidden behind a lie
Can’t get back the toll it took

When you’re gone, every rain drop seems to drown me.

Every shadow casts an immortal darkness

Every glimmer of light seems to scald me.

When you’re gone, all the seasons happen at once and I am both hot and cold. Burning from the absence of your cool composure to soothe me. Freezing without the warmth of your smile to relieve me.

When you’re gone it is both night and day. I am a child scared to death of the darkness cowering in the corner trying to separate myself from the dark that your shining eyes used to transcend. In the daylight I struggle to steer clear of the scalding sun that used to be overshadowed by your cool and calming demeanor. Keeping me under a shadow of clear and blissful protection.

When you are here I am the blooming daisies of spring. Painting a portrait in a brisk and bright meadow. I am a Popsicle melting in the summer heat bright and sweet. A leaf painted with the pigments of fall, gently fluttering to the earth below. The first snowfall of winter crisp and refreshing. A piece of magic a mystery for the mindful eyes of a child sitting idly by the window.

When you are gone I am the thunderstorms that haunt the spring. My tears drench the daisies and leave them suffocated without light. I am the summer child left to stare at my melted ice treat. Left only to be covered in a sticky situation and scolded by my mother who told me not to indulge in sweets before settling down to dinner. An abundance of leaves coving the yard. I must be raked and hidden away. Leaving the yard immaculate. Away from the chaos of missing you. A blizzard that leaves the world hidden away under a thick sheet of ice. Cold and punishing.

When you are here, everything seems beautiful.

When you are gone, everything seems beautiful, except for me.

r.t.

We speak without words
And breath without air
Our hearts compose without beats
And we shine without glare.

The earth seems silent
whenever we are together
The loudest of silences
Forever and never

r.t.

It’s late and I miss you.
You were to be my everything
My refuge
You kept me safe.
From myself.
Happy.

It’s late and I miss you.
My mind wanders
I’ve thought up
A million things to say to you
Things I won’t.
But wish I could.

It’s late and I miss you.
And life is short.
But so was your temper.
And I’m still trying to make sense of what happened.

It’s too late.
I miss you.
You called today.
Not even the warmth of your voice could salvage the icy front I had put up.
You weren’t here when I needed you.

It’s late
and hopefully now you miss me.

But I think I’ve finally stopped
Missing you.

r.t.

“It’s whatever”
He said with tears in his eyes
He hid away
Broken.
I didn’t fall for his lies
His parents drank often
He promised himself he wouldn’t
I told him to stay strong
He told me, he couldn’t
He got home from school
Everyday exhausted
Nobody realized his strength
Until one day he lost it.
For him to inhale and say yes one more time.
To a life he was robbed of
The most complex of crime.
He sat in class silent,
But when asked he would spill
Because all he needed
Was someone to listen and be still
He’d tell them his story
The one he told me
And they’d watch amazed at the new depths they’d see.
A boy who was strong
A boy who was clever
But when concluding his tale
He’d just utter “it’s whatever”

r.t.

The words became heartbeats more alive than myself
And the ideas became words
Books strewn on a shelf
Collecting dust
Just enough to cloud the mind
Picked up and swept away
A dusty dream to find

I hate myself for loving him
I fall a victim of his idle grin
His jokes are tasteless
His words are vain
But when I’m with him
There is no pain.
Just the subtle sting of wanting him mine.
I hate myself for giving him all my time.

I’ll write a letter to you every day that you’re gone
The words flow like blood dripping out as they’re drawn
A letter to you
Every day that I miss
A confession of heartbreak
Sealed with a kiss

r.t.

Que ganas de irme a un lugar donde nadie me conozca y empezar de cero.

Lo más difícil de la distancia es que no sabes si te están extrañando o te están olvidando.

Llegas a un punto donde ni tu mismo sabes como te sientes, no sabes si es tristeza, rabia, enojo o decepción, simplemente te sientes mal

Necesito un descanso de todo.

A mi me gusta que me demuestren las cosas, porque con palabras somos todos buenos.

te conocí sin saber que te iba a querer tanto

“Cuando el mundo estaba acabándose nos aferramos al pasado porque es todo lo que creíamos que veríamos”

To Begin Again - Zayn x Ingrid

Mi mamá me dijo:

Después de la primera mentira, toda verdad se convierte en duda.

¡Cuánta razón!