Logline instructions usually include describing the protagonist, his challenge, and the course he takes to accomplish his goal. It is often recommended that you describe the antagonist as well.
That should all be wrapped up in one tidy sentence that indicates tone and genre, polished up all shiny and sexy enough to pop off the page. A whole trailer, right there, in twenty words or less.
If you can’t do that, it isn’t because you’re bad at loglines.
Logline problems are really story problems. A story that resists being loglined has not been wrestled to the ground yet. It isn’t sharply focused and you probably don’t have a steeply escalating second act.
My first writing teacher at UCLA, Paul Chitlik, who is wonderful and wrote a wonderful book which I highly recommend, Rewrite, starts with weeks of logline development. Because…
It is incredibly easy to identify the weaknesses in your story before you’ve spent twelve weeks writing it.
If writing your logline feels like herding cats, stop what you’re doing and go back to your story. Is it about someone who has no choice but to do something very difficult that he is uniquely unsuited to do? What is his plan to do it?
Long ago in a galaxy far away, a simple farm boy must train as a Jedi warrior to defeat an evil empire.
If your logline is more like, “A high school football player moves to a small town to live with his grandmother and struggles to be accepted at his new school.”, I can tell that your story isn’t clear to you yet, because it should be way more specific than that.
A high school football star has to join the cheerleading squad to protect his sports scholarship.
A high school football star falls for a nerd girl and has to become valedictorian to follow her to an Ivy League college.
Specific, rather than atmospheric. If you nail down your logline BEFORE you write, it won’t bite you in the butt later.
Okay so here it is! The first part of my rewrite! Dear Riddle is catching feelings…
Going… Going…Gone (Part One)
When Riddle Rosehearts first met Floyd Leech, he never once thought they would be even remotely compatible.
That overly tall moray eel had caused a scene at the Entrance Ceremony and then- after Riddle tried to scold him- chased him down, calling him by that wretched nickname for the sake of amusement.
That eccentric, unpredictable fool drove Riddle insane. The nicknames, the reasing, the random compliments… he hated it.
He hated rulebreakers, and he hated Floyd.
But then he overblotted.
<p>It was the shellshock of his life.</p>
The realisation that he was wrong was like being crushed by an anvil.
Everything he had veen raised to believe was thrown out the window. He had to do a lot of self reflection while in recovery.
Riddle’s first step was learning to control his temper.
He was- to be frank- disgusted with his past self’s behaviour. Taking his own dorm student’s magic for a small rule break, leading them to suffer in class, and then punishing them for suffering in class.
Riddle couldn’t believe had been so close-minded.
Ever since that day, he had begun working on how he reacted.
Whenever he felt that familiar rage begin to bubble, insread of screaming and throwing magic around, Riddle simply closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.
It had helped make life so much less stressful.
This newly discovered patience drove Riddle to realise that Floyd had been purposefully trying get a rise out of him. He was too angry to notice in the past.
So now, instead of flying into a rage, Riddle responded with a calm indifference. The utter confusion on Floyd’s face he first time he did it was halirous.
“Ne ne, are you broken, Goldfishie? You’re all calm.” “Really now?”
Of course, this only deterred Floyd momentarily. He took Riddle’s new sanity meter as a challenge amd tried even harder to test his patience.
As annoyed as he was, Riddle soon found himself shooting playful remarks back, and thus began their almost daily banter.
After a while, Riddle began to find their shenanigans oddly… enjoyable, and began actively seeking out Floyd to spend time with him, and even help him focus more at school.
And so with that, their srange acquaintanceship slowly developed into an odd sort of friendship.
Riddle found comfort in Floyd’s presence. The utter chaotic madness that always seemed to follow the eel was something he could look forward to everyday.
It left other students utterly baffled, but Riddle didn’t care what they thought. Through Floyd, he learnt that he didn’t have to defend himself at every odd look or curious whisper. It really brought him peaceof mind.
Floyd was, surprisingly, a good friend.
But then something changed.
Riddle had no idea when it started but Floyd’s presence began to made him feel… sick. At least that’s what it seemed like.
His skin got so warm and red. He felt so dizzy. When he looked into those beautiful mismatched eyes his breath caught in his throat and heart began beating so fast he feared it may jump out his chest.
Surely these were the symptoms of some kind of sickness? But if so, then why did this only happen around Floyd?
Riddle decided to ask his dear childhood friend for advice. He had been interacting with people for far longer than he had, after all.
When he finally got around to it, he didn’t expect Trey to gape in shock as his glasses slid down his nose.
What? What is it?“ Trey only continued to gape. "Are you- are you serious?” Riddle nodded. “I would not make this up, Trey. Why, is something wrong? It it that bad?’ Trey shook his head. "No, of course not Riddle! It’s just surprising, is all.” “What is?”
Trey chuckled “You get all warm around him right?” “Yes.” ‘Your heart beats faster?“ "Yes?” “All these feelings, you know what they mean?” “Of course not! That’s why I’m asking you!” Trey smiled and fixed his glasses before looking Riddle in the eyes.
“You have a crush, Riddle. On Floyd Leech. You like him romantically.”
“HAH-?!”
That was the second bombshell that year. Not as great as the first one, mind you, but it was quite a shock.
Floyd. Floyd, of all people? No way.
Even after they became friends, Riddle always thought someone a little more… refined would catch his fancy.
Yet another thing to be wrong about, he supposed.
Sitting with this new revelation was difficult for Riddle. It was something so entirely new that he had no hope of knowing what he was doing.
So he was now left with important question he did not have the answer to.
What now?
……………………………………………………………………….
A/N: Aaand here is the first part! I think it’s way better and much more worth the read hahaha. @ramshell hopefully this an improvement.
But, I’m having surgery next week and will be on bedrest for 2-3 weeks. So…I’m thinking that might be a good time to get back into writing the SPN series rewrite “Wayward Hearts”.
I think about this series all the time and I’m constantly missing being a part of the story of Sam, Dean, and Riley. My life has been so chaotic (in mostly good ways) that I just haven’t had the time or energy to work on it. But, with no work, the kiddo out of town, and time off school…I think it’s as good a time as any to bring back our heroes. We still have at least a season and a half to go!
I will have more information for you over the coming two weeks. I’m eager to get back into this rewrite and to get back on the road with you all.
I love you, my friends and I hope you are all well and safe. Keep a look out for updates on our series :) (yes–it’s ours)
Check out the SPN series rewrite “Wayward Hearts”<—and get all caught up before we continue the hunt.
For a year, I’ve been working on a comic project that I’m excited to share!
Transient Heaven is a rewrite of the events of Resident Evil 2, starring Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield, as they find themselves trapped in a living hell they must get out alive from, together.
The comic will be released on PatreonstartingFriday 29th, April with a weekly release, and in the nearby future shared on social platforms.
Summary:What’s worse then watching your brother die on repeat? Your baby sister following shortly after in a worse way.
Paring: None. Sister!Reader. Minor= Gabriel x Reader (just petnames)
Warings!!!: Blood,Gore, Graphic Description of Death(Murder,Suicide tw!!,Suffocation, electrocution,ect.),after first go mainly Sam POV (poor sammy),Reader remembers the pain(that sucks),Mystery Spot rewrite
____________
“The heat of the moment!” Sam groaned at the song as it echoed in the small room. The sound of the shower was drowned out by the not yet snoozed alarm. Creaking open his eyes Dean looked to fucking excited for his taste. His brother sat there with a grin on his face tying his shoes. “Rise and shine,Sammy!” They radio clock played on now Sam realizes Dean was the one you probably set it the night before. “Dude,Asia?” He asked sitting up the shower shortly stops as the blonde responds. “Come on. You love this song and you know it.” He smirked as he stood up walking to the radio. “Dean if you play that song one more time I’m killing you then myself!” A shout came from the bathroom as the youngest Winchester stepped out still drying her hair with a towel almost completely dressed. “What? Sorry, couldn’t hear you.” Dean said as he turned the volume up a damp towel meeting the back of his head making Sammy laugh. What a great start to the day.
Dean was in the bathroom Y/n taking his place on the bed tying her boots already dawning her f/c flannel. The boys cramped in the small bathroom Sam trying to brush his teeth as Dean annoyed him. “You ready to go?” Sam asked after killing off his brush. “Yeah I’m ready. We’ve only been waiting on De.” Y/n said as she stood next to the door holding baby’s keys. “Just wait!” Dean said digging our pile of duffel bags that looked relatively the same. He pulled out a black lace bra and glanced at Sam. “This yours?” Sammy almost busted out laughing as it seemed to click and he threw the bra behind him. “Ew ew ew ew!"He shook his hand like something was stuck on it before calming down and grabbing what he needed. "Bingo.” The gun slicked into his waistband as he walked up to the door Sam behind him. “Now if you’re done freaking out about my bra let’s go eat some breakfast.” Y/n said opening the door and tossing Dean baby’s keys and locking their room behind them.
Together the sibling sit down in a booth the noise in the background was unnoticed who would care not like they’ll hear it again.“Hey, Tuesday. Pig in a pork.” Dean said excitedly as Sam looked slightly disgusted at the name. “Do you even know what that is?” He asked as his brother shrugged. Their sister sat down the menu not looking up from it. “Apparently it’s two to three breakfast sausages wrapped in bacon and wrapped in a pancake with a side of hashbrowns and a choice of bacon or sausage.” She said causing Dean to smirk. “See Pig in a pork! Sounds good.” The waitress walked up to their table. “You folks ready?” She asked them. “Yes. I’ll have two specials with a side of bacon,one with extra sausage and both with a coffee.” Dean said already knowing Y/n would get the same. “Make that three coffees and a short stack.” With that their waitress walked off and they emerged themselves in the case.
"His daughter says he was on his way to visit the Broward County Mystery Spot.“ Dean looked over the newspaper reading the equations. "Where the laws of physics have no meaning and don’t make sense.” Their sister spoke out as she leaned back in the booth next to Dean who she chose to sit with this time. The waitress came back with their food. “Three coffees,black, and some hot sauce for the—” She cut herself off with a gasp as the bottle of red liquid fell to the ground breaking spilling its contents.“Whoops. Crap! Sorry.” She said giving them a bashful smile as she turned towards the back. “Cleanup!”
==[Time skip to Night because laziness]==
The hallway is a bright neon green with a black spiral painted on the walls and door to give off some type of illusion. Opening the door the three of them walk inside flashlights up Sammy closing the door behind them. They move up the hallway Y/n pulling out the EMF reader while the boys shine the flashlights around and up onto shit attached upside-down to the ceiling. “Wow. Uncanny.” Dean says sarcastically making Y/n chuckle. “Mystery solved. Cheap screws and uneven foundation.” She said causing both of them to laugh silently. Sam keeps looking moving on further in front of them. “Find anything?” The blonde asked. Sammy looks back to Y/n with the unmoving EMF reader “No.” “Not a thing.”
Dean sighs as he waves his light around.“You have any idea what we’re even looking for?” He asked Sam who looked unsure before answering. “Uh … yeah.” There was a long beat of silence before he gave in. “No.” Dean shakes his head as both of the brothers shine flashlights around other parts of the room while their sister follows trying for a reading. “What the hell are you doing here?” A voice said causing all three of them to turn and look at the source while Dean was the only one to pull his gun before pointing it elsewhere seeing as this man had a shotgun trained on him. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. We can explain.” De put his gun up as the barrel shifted to Sam. “You robbing me?” He asked as Sam shook his head. “No one’s trying to rob you,calm down.” Y/n said the shotgun moving to her now. “Did I say you could talk!?” This made Dean move in front of her protectively. “Don’t move!”
"Just putting the gun do—" The loud defeating sound of the gun going of silenced the room,but the sound of a body hitting the ground caused a panic. Dean was the body hitting the ground. “Dean!” Both of the younger siblings yell as they rush to their older brother who was struggling to breath. “Call 911!” Y/n yelled as she stood up towards the owner while Sam held onto Dean. “I—I didn’t mean to—” They man stumbled on his words his grip loose on the firearm. “Now!” Sam shouted at him.The man jumped at the command dropping the gun a shot fired out and down went the youngest Winchester. She fell to the floor before Sam had a chance to grasp what happened. “NO!!!”
Sam’s POV~~~
Heat of the moment
My eyes snap open. When did I get back to the motel room? W-what happened after…oh god! Sitting up I look around and there sat Dean in the same position,tying his shoes,as this morning. “Rise and shine,Sammy!” That same cheerful tone made Sam look at him and then the clock in shock and confusion the sound of the shower or the grunt that came from the bathroom barely registering. “Dude,Asia.” Dean said my breath coming out more labored. “Dean.” I said as the shower cut off and a shadow moved under the door. “Oh,come on,you love this song and you know it.” He stood up to turn up the volume as the echoed shout came from the bathroom. “Dean if you play that song one more time I’m killing you then myself!” Y/n stepped out with a towel around her hair and still in the clothes that moment ago were blood soaked. “What? Sorry, couldn’t hear you.” Dean said as the volume went up the same damp towel met the back of his head causing a small argument that would have made me laugh if I didn’t see the exact same one hours ago.
Dean gurgle with a open mouth but seeing that I didn’t react with discust he stopped. Everything happened exactly the same Y/n telling us to hurry up,Dean finding and throwing a bra from the couch,our walk to the dinner. Sitting in the booth even though I didn’t say much the conversation carried out the same. “I think somethings wrong.” I said as they looked at me. “Today is Tuesday, yesterday was Tuesday.” Y/n gave me a weird look. “ Dejá vu, man.” Dean brushed off as N/n scoffed at him. “What happened? Last Tuesday.” She asked as Dean rolled his eyes mumbling this is stupid. “I woke up to Dean’s singing,you in the shower,everything that’s happened up to this point has been the same. We went to the mystery spot and then I woke up again.” That’s when Y/n pointed at him. “The mystery spot! Clearly it must have started a loop we just get there and break it easy pezzy.” That made sense the waitress came up to our table and we said our orders. When she came back the hot sauce fell off her tray and I caught it.
Walking down the street to the hotel Dean was trying to argue that this was stupid. “This wasn’t part of the case. A missing girl yes not so groundhogs day shit.” As we pasted the movers that talked about needed some more tools. “Maybe they went missing because they couldn’t break the loop. I mean time must still be passing.” Y/n voiced as we pass the barking dog. “Look least just go to the mystery spot at night to get a long look at what’s keeping us here.” Dean said as I immediately shot that down. “No!” They looked at me concerned. “Let’s go now. Gives us more time before the day resets.” Y/n looked at me as she pulled me back a bit to walk behind Dean. “What happened between getting to the mystery spot and waking up,Sammy? You’re leaving out a chunk of time.” She always had a good head on her shoulders. Taking in a deep breath as we got to the crosswalk. “Dean…he got shot and then yo—” The sound of something being hit and the squealing of tires made them look up to see Dean bloody on the road. Rushing towards him the drive the man form the dinner look at us. I got down on the ground as Dean chocked on his blood. Y/n held her hand to her face as she backed away from /he horrific sight. “Oh god.” She mumbled as I kept saying Dean’s name. Looking at Y/n she backed up a good couple of yards half of her body was suddenly illuminated a truck just hit her. “Y/N!!!” Slayed over the hood vertebrae from her spin putrid from her back as the blood soaked shirt pulled tightly against her skin. The emblem on the truck punctured her throat. The moment the life left her eyes a sharp pain went through me.
The heat of the moment
I woke up again Dean on the other bed tying his shoes as the shower was on in the back ground. Everything was playing out the same,but somethings are changing. Y/n walked out of the bathroom the towel she had in her hair next to Dean as she rubbed her neck sorely as she placed her other hand on the small of her back and it cracked loudly. “Jesus,N/n!” Dean said looking at her as she sighed in relief. “Was the couch really that hard? You can have my bed tonight.” He said as she shook her head. “No no the couch was fine it just I don’t know I got this sudden pain. Like a I got hit by a damn bus.” She shook it off as I got out of the bed to check on her shrugging
Sitting at the Diner I looked up at them.“Okay, would you listen to me? ‘Cause I am flipping out.” I said as Doris walked up to us I don’t have time for this. “Are you folks ready?” I quickly cut off Dean. “He’ll take the special, side of bacon, coffee, black while she’ll have the same with a extra side of sausage. Nothing for me, thanks.” My siblings looked at me shocked. As Doris walked away. “Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that.” Dean said causing Y/n to giggle. “Quit screwing around, Dean.” I said harshly as they both got serious. “Okay. Okay. We’re listening. So, you think that you’re in some kind of a time loop,was it?” Y/n said as I nodded. “Like Groundhogs Day’” Dean said and I immediately nod. “Yes, exactly. Like Groundhogs Day.” I said looking at him hopefully N/n was usually the one that believed in the most crazy logical stuff.
“So do you believe me?"Y/n looked like she was thinking as she bit her thumb nail I was about to ask when Dean started laughing. "It’s just a little crazy, I mean even for us crazy, you know, like, uh—” I cut in. “Dingo ate my baby crazy?” I said like he did before. Dean looked skeptical now. “How’d you know I was going to say that?” It like everything I’ve said went over his head. “Because you said it before, Dean, that’s my whole point.”
Doris walks back just in time. “Three coffees, black, and some hot sauce for the—whoops! Crap.” I catch the bottle without looking and place it back on the tray. “Thanks.” Doris said as she sat it down and walked away. “Nice reflexes." How hard is it for him to understand. "This is a time loop..You’re just going to have to go with me on this, I already know Y/n is game,but you Dean, you just have to, you owe me that much!” I started to get worked up. “Calm down–” This made me snapped. “Don’t tell me to calm down! I can’t calm down. I can’t. Because…” This made them look at me concerned. “What?What is it?” Y/n asked. “Because you die, today, both of you.” Dean did the pfft thing “I’m not gonna die. Not today. And N/n sure as hell is not gonna die!”
I comb a hand through my hair.. “Twice now I’ve watched both of you die, and I can't— I won’t do it again, okay? You’re just going to have to believe me. Please.” Dean finally started to understand and nodded with a sigh. “All right. I still think you’re nuts, but okay, whatever this is, we’ll figure it out.”
Walking down the street again Dean spoke.. “So you think this cheesy-ass tourist trap has something to do with it?” I just nodded my head as I flinched a bit at the barking dog and the blonde chick. “Before Y/n said maybe it’s the real deal, you know? That going to the mystery spot trapped us or me and I’m missing in this time anomaly.” I said reciving a glance from Y/n she seemed to be deep in thought about it. “We’ll go tonight after they close, get ourselves a nice long look.” Panic went through me. “No no no no no, we can’t.” They both stopped to stare. “Why not?” Dean asked but the words couldn’t come out. “We die don’t we. Die breaking in at night.” Y/n said as I nod. “That was the first time.” She looked around. “Us dying at the mystery spot must have triggered something.” Dean seemed to swallow a lump in his throat.
"Huh. Okay, let’s go now.“ Dean starts forward about to cross when I rushes after him and grabs him before he runs into the street. The green car zooms past."Stay out of the way!” A shout came from the speeding car as a moving truck past by a second later in the opposite direction.We stare after the car Dean begins to laugh until he sees my face. “Wait, did he –?” He trailed off. “Yesterday. Yeah.” He looked at me with a smirk. “Did it look cool, like in the movies?” Irritated I speak “You peed yourself.” He looked embarrassed “Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!”
Leaving the mystery spot we learned it was a fake,but how? “Well, I hate to say it, but that place is exactly what I thought - it’s full of crap.” Dean scoffed as he walked next to me Y/n infront of us. “Then what is it, Dean, what the hell is happening to us?” I ask him it made no sense. “I don’t know. All right, let me just – So, every day we die.” He gestures to him and our sister. “Yeah.” I said. “Then you wake up,again?” Y/n spoke up. “Yeah.” I answered. “Who dies first? Maybe if we know we can be on alert.” I point to Dean as she nods. “So let’s just make sure I don’t die. If I make it to tomorrow then so does Y/n, then maybe the loop stops and we can figure all this out.” He mused I looked at hom hopefully. “It’s worth a shot. I say we grab some takeout and head back to the motel, lay low until midnight.” I nod feeling anxious I don’t know what’s a threat yet. “How about that Chinese place?” N/n asked as she turned to look at us walking backwards. “I was thinking tacos.” Dean said and then got flattened by a falling desk. The mover on the ground is holding a snapped rope as the rushing cog sound echoed in the silence looking up he sees the other half of the rope slipping of of a large pully system and falling down hitting Y/n killing her with the blunt force of it hitting her head straight on creaking her skull. Her body hit the ground with a thud. Why god?
H̵e̸a̸t̸ ̷øf̷ ̸t̵h̶e̸ ̵m̴o̷m̵e̶n̷t̶
Sitting up I see Dean but my uneven breathing caused me to lay back down. I heard the shower cut off and the sound of pills in a bottle. Y/n must have gotten a headache this time.
At the diner I look at them both in despair after explaining it again. “So, uh … If you’re stuck in "Groundhogs Day”, why? What’s behind it?“ I shrugged "Well, first I thought it was the Mystery Spot. Now I’m not so sure.” I said as Y/n look at me with empathy. “Why don’t we start changing things now if we go off of what normally happens it might break it." Dean smiled at that. "Yeah well, nothing’s set in stone. You say we order the same thing every day, right?” He asked me. “Yeah. Pig in a poke, side of bacon and Y/n the same with a extra side of sausage.”
Doris came with their plates and he took Y/n’s extra plate of sausage for his own. “See? Different day already. You see, if we decide that I am not gonna die – I’m not gonna die neither is N/n.” Y/n eats the odd pig n a pork as Dean stabs a sausage link with his fork and bites into it. He only chews for a second before choking. “Dean. Dean?!” I said panicked as I look at Y/n who has her head layed down on the table pink form flowing from mouth. Looking into the serving window I saw rat potion box on it’s side open.
Dean was in the shower as Y/n stood brushing her teeth at the sink. “You mean we can’t even go out for breakfast?” He asked from the bathroom. “You’ll thank me when it’s Wednesday!” I said looking out the window. “Whatever that means you weirdo. Shit!” Y/n said she dropped something. A slick sound followed by a thud sounded in the bathroom a shocked gasp of Dean’s name was cut short by a crash.
Hot pot of coffee was thrown in Y/n’s face missing some angry girls boyfriend after Dean intervened in their argument getting bashed over the head with a napkin dispenser.
"Does this taco taste funny to you?“ Dean asked as Y/n ran to the bathroom her face pale. The sound of someone throwing up came from behind the closed as Dean feel face first on the table chocking on vomit,
Dean is in the bathroom as Y/n stands as the small kitchen sink. "Damnit!” She dropped her ring in the sink reaching down the drain Dean plugs in his electric razor and gets electrocuted as the garbage disposal turns on causing Y/n to scream
“Sam what’s different about today then last time?” I looked at Y/n away from my laptop at the diner. “The only thing that changes is how and when you guys die. Nothing’s never the same,but everything else happens exactly how it’s suppose to unless we interfere.” I said for what seemed like the hundredth time she asked as Dean eats his greasy bacon. “This must be the work of a djinn but it’s making you see a nightmare instead of a dream.” Y/n suggest pulling out dad’s journal heard that one. “But if this loop is too seamless maybe a trickster they can mess with reality maybe you pissed off the one at the campus.” I shook my head. “Tricksters are addicted to sweets there’s no way a Trickster is here and kept this up without eating a load of sugar. The things they eat won’t be a effect of a illusion either so evidence would be littered everywhere. ” I said as I typed away. She looked at me a grin as she brushes her nose with her finger. “Bingo!” Y/n said excitedly “Look at anyone eating anything sweet. Hell hold a child with a lollipop at gun point if you must!” Her words sunk in I’ve been looking for witches, djinn, but not tricksters as I ruled it out.
It was close to the end of the day the three of us were at the diner at night the only place in the vicinity of where the loop takes place. “What are we even looking for, Sammy?” Dean asked as he shinned a light around as Sam was looking through cabinets and in the trash. “Candy wrappers. Empty pudding cup. A whole thing of raw cookie dough! Anything sweet that can fuel a trickster into making flawless illusion.” I said as the lights in the kitchen flicked on and the cook looked at them in shock as he dropped a bag of something glass before anger took over his orbs. A fight broke out between him and Dean. The sound of air whooshing a meat clever came in contact with his chest Dean was promptly pushed to the side as the cook handles the next closest intruder, Y/n. I try keeping him away from her but he threw me back the back of my head hitting the counter he was dead set on her. Grabbing a handful of Y/n’s h/c hair he dragged her to the opposite side of the kitchen in front of me the bubbling of oil almost made me want to scream in frustration. Pushing her face first she kicked her legs trying to hit him, but after a minute her body went limp as she slipped off hitting the floor. She was unrecognizable. I look away and see a glimpse of what was in the trash bag.
My eyes snapped open. Maple! Getting up quickly Dean looks at me strangely as I hurried to get dress and quickly grabbed supplies. Y/n stepped out of the bathroom with a wet rag on her face groaning. “My face feels like it was set on fire.” She muttered her words muffled as she flops on the bed. Dean walked over to her flipping her over I saw a flash of burnt and bubbling skin before it seemed to heal over till all I saw was her face tense in pain. “Stop whining you fine ,N/n we got a mystery spot to invade.” He gently slapped her cheeks I could tell she bit her tongue holding in a cry of pain. “You’re right let’s go.” We walked to the dinner as we sit down I look at the five tables that order pancakes one puts only a little and he always uses such a small amount ,the second and third was for children and they drowned them in chocolate syrup and maple making them get scolded by their parents, a women poured some on her blueberry pancakes, but she always did that it wasn’t enough to fuel a full town illusion, the last guy didn’t even have maple.
I paused he always had maple syrup with his stack of pancakes. Abruptly standing up I go after the man. “Woah! Woah! What’s wrong?” Y/n asked as Dean finally got out the booth letting her up too. “Guy has maple syrup for the last hundred Tuesdays, all of a sudden he’s having strawberry?” I say as he walks past us in the window. “It’s a free country. Man can’t choose his own syrup, huh? What have we become?” Dean said sarcastically. “Not in this diner. Not today. Nothing in this place ever changes. Ever. Except me." I rush after him as they follow. "What’s in the bag?”
I grab the man slamming him into the fence, and put the tip of the wooden stake at his throat. “That what’s in the bag.” Y/n mumbled to Dean. “Hey!” The guy exclaimed. “I know who you are. Or should I say, what.” The trickster faked fear. “Oh my god, please don’t kill me.” He begged Dean came behind me trying to stop me like he did before. That didn’t end well. “Sam, maybe you should—” I quickly cut him off. “No! Y/n told me there’s only one creature powerful enough to do what you’re doing. Making reality out of nothing, sticking people in time loops in fact you’d pretty much have to be a god. You’d have to be a Trickster.” The man started to try and reason with me. I’m tired of the games. “Don’t lie to me! I know what you are! We’ve killed one of your kind before!”
His face stared to morph and my eyes widened. “Actually, bucko, you didn’t.” We looked at him shocked. “Why are you doing this to me?” I asked Dean and Y/n next to me weapons trained on him. “You’re joking, right? You chuckleheads, minus sugar drop over there, tried to kill me last time. Why wouldn’t I do this?” He looked at me like I’m dumb. “And Hasselback, did he try and kill you too?” Y/n asked. “That putz? Oh sweetcheeks, He said he didn’t believe in wormholes, so I dropped him in one.” His laugh rung out at his past actions that drew us to the town. “Then you guys showed up. I made you the second you hit town.”
I was angry. “So this is fun for you? Killing Dean and Y/n over and over again?” I asked he held up his hand. “One, yes. It is fun I mean have you seen the ways Dean dies. Two not so fun with her I kinda like Y/n more then you morons. And three? This is so not about killing them. This joke is on you, Sam. Watching your big brother and baby sister die, every day? Forever?” The pressure on the stake increased. “You son of a bitch! I’ll kill you.” He puts his fingers in a snapping motion threatening to start the day over. “How long will it take you to realize? You can’t save your brother. No matter what you do. How long does it take to understand that you’re to busy trying to save him you’re killing your sister?” I scoffed. “Oh yeah? I kill you, this all ends now.” Blood trickled from his neck. “Oh, hey, whoa! Okay. Look. I was just playing around. You can’t take a joke, fine. You’re out of it. Tomorrow, you’ll wake up and it’ll be Wednesday. I swear.”
I wasn’t convinced. “You’re lying.” It can’t be that easy. “If I am, you know where to find me. Having pancakes at the diner.” I look at my siblings about to answer when he snapped and they day fades away.
“I started a joke which started the whole world crying” The radio blared. I shot up and looked around. “What, you gonna sleep all day?” Dean said from the bathroom as Y/n walked in with a to-go bag with the diners name on it. “Sleeping beauty’s finally up.” She said with a smirk sitting the bag down. As the music quieted down a bit. “No Asia?” I asked. “Yeah, I know. This station is all sad crap sorry it doesn’t have your favorite.” Dean chuckled as song played.
“But I didn’t see that the joke was on me, oh no.”
I look at the clock and it read Wednesday thank God. “It’s Wednesday!” I said excitedly “Yeah, usually comes after Tuesday. Turn that thing off, will you? I’m ready to watch TV” He said as he walked towards Y/n. I grinned. “What, are you kidding me? This isn’t the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard?” Y/n looked at me weird. “You told me you hate this song?” She said getting boxed food out. “Yeah, How many Tuesdays did you have?” I gave a large sigh. “One to many.” Dean was about to open his when I make him stop.. “All right. Pack your stuff, let’s get the hell out of town. Now.” He look upset. “Right now? Can’t we enjoy some breakfast?” I shake my head. “No breakfast. Pack it up.”
Third Person (real quick)
Dean stands next to Y/n just talking someone’s foots steps come from behind them. There was no time to register what happened when a gunshot fired followed by a scream. “Dean! Y/n!” A distant voice shouted rushing outside. Y/n was cradling Dean’s upper body as blood pooled on the asphalt. “No, no, no no no, hey, hey, come on, not today, not today, this isn’t supposed to happen today, come on!” Sam realizes Dean is dead no heat of the moment no second chance he’s dead.
Sam POV
It’s been six months since Dean got shot I dropped Y/n off at Bobby’s figuring she’d be safer. I was listening to old voice mails as I sat in a motel room.
10+ voice mails
“…it’s been two months N/n left after you stopped picking up your phone. She already lost one brother and now she lost the other. Last I heard she handled a nest down in Wisconsin.” She’ll be fine.
Message Deleted 9+ New Voice Mails
“Sammy I know you’re busy, but we can’t just stop huntin because of this trickster.” I haven’t stopped just more focused.
Message Deleted 8+ New Voice Mails
“Damn you Winchester’s! Answer the phone it’s been three months and Y/n was been taking larger cases solo. Get to her before she does a suicide mission!!” S-she will be fine I know it.
Message Deleted 7+ New Voice Mails
“Just took on a hoard of wendigos I didn’t know they could nest like vamps. I’m in Yellowstone if you were wondering.” She’s fine hunting big league Dean is gonna be proud.
Message Deleted 6+ New Voice Mails
“Four months! Y/n hasn’t been seen by anyone I’ve called every number I know and no one has seen her. God boy grow a pair and find her ya idjit!” Hidden from the world she’s fine. That sick bastard cant get her.
Message Deleted 5+ New Voice Mails
“Dean is in hell Sammy I gotta get him back this trickster is a dead end and we both know it. I need to get to the boss of hell if I want to get to De…just call me back.” She knows what she’s doing she’s got a good head on her shoulders.
Message Deleted 4+ New Voice Mails
“Sam it’s Bobby five months and still no word from either of y'all. I know you not dead yet. Come back here and Y/n will follow.” No she won’t she wouldn’t.
Message Deleted 3+ New Voice Mails
“Bobby has tried calling me asking me to come home, but I can’t go back till you do. We only have each other. I’m trashing this phone tomorrow. ” I’ll get Dean back I promise, n/n.
Message Deleted 2+ New Voice Mails
“I’m done looking for you cause I know damn well you haven’t given me a second thought. Don’t try contacting this number. Bye Samuel.” She doesn’t need me. She’s safer away.
Message Deleted 1+ New Voice Mails
“I haven’t got a clue where your sister is, but I found him.”
Bobby looked around the mystery spot as I came in the older man hugged me ,but got no verbal response. As Bobby went on about a ritual my brown eyes analyzed him suspiciously. “I’ll go get it now.” I went to leave to get gallons of blood. “No I won’t let you kill a innocent person.” He hands the knife to me. “Yeah, okay Bobby.” The older man turned around as I took out a stake putting the knife at his throat and stake through his back ,but that wasn’t the man that raised us. As he disappeared the stake flinging behind me over my shoulder.
The trickster stood behind me giving a large smirk with the stake in his hand. “I gotta say I’m impressed I guess after a few hundred Tuesdays you caught wind of a trick when you saw one.” The shorter man chuckled. “Bring him back.” My words laced in a threatening tone. “Who, Dean? Or Y/n? Dean’s dead in the dirt six feet under. He ain’t coming back. His soul’s downstairs doing the hellfire rumba as we speak. As for Y/n running herself into the grave.” Sam looked shocked at his words. “Y/n isn’t dead only Dean what are you on about!? Just take me back to Tuesday! No. Wednesday” She was on the other side of the country probably in a motel room or faking a story to get into the morgue I just needed to go back to Wednesday to fix everything. “I thought Dean had a thick skull you don’t get it do you? There was a reason you were stuck in a loop a lesson to learn. You can’t save your brother and you ,not me you, are killing your sister. Poor girl all alone.” It seemed to go in one ear at out the other. “Just take me back and I won’t hunt you down I swear.” The short man rolled his eyes this wasn’t even fun anymore. “You want your brother back so bad. Have him.” Snapping his fingers Sam woke up.
“I started a joke which had the whole world crying.” Sam smiled as he sat up seeing Dean. “But I didn’t see that the joke was on me ,oh no.” He looked at the door waiting for Y/n to walk in with breakfast like last time, but in never happened. “Hey where’s N/n?” He asked confused. Dean looked at Sam. “She got a different room last night why don’t you check on her.” He said dismissively. Somethings not right. Getting dressed he walked to her room. This motel room was unavailable on Monday night ,but how did she get it when they didn’t get it before. Unlocking the door he looked at the room it looked odd like she was shacked up her for weeks and not just a night. Pictures plastered the wall of the mystery spot then different supernatural creatures. Walking over to the bed he saw dad’s journal and opened it a off white paper was hidden in between the old pages.
“Wednesday,May 14
To Sam,
its been months since Dean has died I came back here almost half a year since last time. I don’t know when you’ll see this note or if you ever will ,but I’m sorry I’m so sorry. I never thought I’d end up alone it’s silly really I always thought that Me, you, and Dean would go down together in Winchester type glory guns blazing, but the glue that held us together was gone and we no longer had each other. I hunted to make the emotionally pain go away hell I sold my soul to the Demon king just to stop feeling everything, but this place brought back all the pain not of Dean’s death only the physically stuff my body is in so much pain like I’ve died a thousand times and it’s all crashing onto me at once it hurts so much Sammy I thought not feeling would stop it, but it didn’t make me any less human. I want it to stop all of it to stop the guilt, the pain. I’m so sorry I love you so much Samantha.
Y/n Winchester”
Sam dropped the note as he looked around the room frantically pill bottles from aspirin to morphine littered the bedside tables clothes were scattered around the floor, but everything seemed to be there the bathroom or door was closed trying to turn the handle it was locked banging on the door with as much for as possible it caved, but the sight was horrific. Her skin was pale scars littered her body, but the cause for the lack of completion were the vertical cuts from her wrist to the nook of her elbow one arm was over the edge of the tub while the other turned the cold water a red dark enough the only thing seen was a outline of her body. His scream was earth shattering as if he has never seen her die before, but he doesn’t get another chance like before he can’t beg the trickster to be merciful and allow her to live to go back exactly to the Wednesday before save them both. Sam would give anything to go back to Tuesday, because this was so much worse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I never thought I’d be so alone.” - Grey’s Anatomy
A/n: This shit was depressing, but I wanted to make the lesson evident that Sam cant save everyone.
Sometimes I really hate how Vlad and Danny’s meeting turned out, so I try to reimagine it.
Here’s a quick rewrite that I wrote in class like two months ago.
—
Danny blasted the birds with a grin, “Had enough yet?”
Suddenly, as the birds are about to strike, their eyes widened and they flew away as fast as they could. “What the…?” he wandered.
When a big shadow loomed over him, Danny turned around and came face-to-face with what scared the birds. It was a ghost, a vampire-looking one too. He had black hair shaped black horns with scary pupilless red eyes and blueish skin and fangs.
…Yeah, he really couldn’t blame the birds for running from that.
“Oh whatever, I was aiming for the birds, but you’ll do-“
“Care to tell me why you’re trespassing my territory?” The ghost asked, unimpressed.
“Huh?” The words died in Danny’s throat, and so did the ecto-plast he was forming.
The ghost sighed, “This is my territory, boy. My haunt, you’re trespassing. I don’t take very well to that.” He explained, “But seeing as you’re young -and probably new- I’m willing to let you go with a pass.”
Hishaunt? Uh-oh, this is bad. He knows trespassing another ghost’s haunt is a big deal. One problem though, he couldn’t leave, not with the party being tomorrow night.
“I thought this was Vlad Masters’ castle?” Danny tried.
The ghost laughed, “Oh, you are new!” Suddenly, two black rings appeared around the ghost’s waist. Two painfully familiar rings.
Danny’s eyes widened. It can’t be…
Before his eyes, the ghosts clothes turned into a business suit, blue skin became tanned, black hair was replaced with silver locks tied in a ponytail, and a second, a very familiar man said before Danny.
“When you’re done staring you can begin to leave.”
Danny dropped to the ground in front of him, after a few failed attempts he finally managed to find his voice. “You’re… half-ghost?”
Vlad raised an eyebrow, “Was that a lucky guess?”
Dennis looked into his eyes and let his own transformation wash over him.
Now, Vlad was the one staring, “Oh… that explains it.”
Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Reedsy, a 2018 “Now What?” sponsor, is a user-friendly site that helps authors find editors, designers and publicists. Today, Reedsy staff writer Martin Cavannaghshares his top tips on how to approach your first novel edits:
Everybody talks about how hard it is to finish a first draft—as if to suggest everything that comes after that is a joyride. But in reality, the work has only begun.
Many advice posts will offer a laundry list of novel revision tactics: Show, don’t tell! Hone your dialogue! Get rid of unnecessary adjectives! These are all valuable tips, but your first rewrite must focus on basic storytelling. In this post, we’ll look at four things you should address in your first revision.
#WritingTipWed 43 - Re-writing over and over again can do more bad than good. Once you’re satisfied (which means there are still tweaks you could make), let someone else read it or let it stew for a few days. You’re looking for fresh eyes.
#WritingTipWed 44 - Remember that a critique can be based on a personal preference and not objectively. No one writer would write the same scene the same way. These should still be considered but remember your preferences are just as valid.
#WritingTipWed 45 - Use “There is”/“There are” at the beginning of your sentences as little as possible for better sentence variety. Because if every other sentence began as such, the work would be unnecessarily repetitive.
And Now, A Rewritten Section of Scrap’s Solo Chapter 2
Been wanting to write this version of one particular scene ever since reading @calcium-cat’s One Small Dream. I guess consider this a perspective swap as well as an attempt of actually putting the song of choice in? ♀️
Anyway, if you want to compare and contrast, here’s the original chapter all ready to go. I have no idea if this rewrite is consistent with the rest of the work (since I just worked with this one section), so sorry if either of them are OOC to my own fic.
With all that out of the way, enjoy!
—
“Would you please say the line to start?” Baby asked innocently. “That way I can get the music ready.”
Scrap-Trap sighed. He really was going to play this role, wasn’t he? “Fine, but only because you asked nicely” he answered, watching the other robot skate to a radio on another table nearby. His head ducked behind the curtain. Suddenly, the curtain pulled back just enough for Baby to see him. He took a deep breath, got himself into a proper Sally-like position, then bobbed his head as a mental cue. “Farewell, Liz,” he began somberly. “My dearest Elizabeth…” His voice trailed as he watched Baby’s eyes glowed brighter than usual. A lump in what remained of his throat started to form. Nevertheless, he pressed on. “Oh, how I hope my premonition is wrong.” he concluded, shaking his head both in and out of character.
Baby jolted out of her shock. She hurriedly turned on the device and pressed the play button. Her eyes shifted from the radio to her performer, who now exaggerated his shambling gait. Once he was in proper position (or what he thought was said position), he began to sing for her. “I sense there’s something in the wind,” she could hear him rasp as he mimicked the song’s choreography, “that feels like tragedy’s at hand.” Baby’s eyes widened at the change in his voice. It was only a little higher than usual, but this… frailness really took her aback. Not as much as hearing the name ‘Elizabeth’ uttered with such conviction,of course, but it still impacted her. He never sounded so sad before. At least, not when she was around.
Meanwhile, Scraptrap continued his re-enactment of the scene. He limped towards the center of the stage, stopping short of the imaginary gate that stood between him and his daughter. “And though I’d like to stand by her,” he sang, making sure he glanced at Baby when that last word left his mouth, “can’t shake this feeling that I have.”Allthe malice and bitterness he typically harbored faded away as his eyes drifted from her to the floor. In its place was left was what he felt yesterday. Fear, regret, doubts about himself ever being regarded as a father by Elizabeth again…
“The worst is just around the bend,” his voice faltered out, struggling to keep his real emotions in for at least one more line. His gaze shifted from the floor to the ceiling. In this strange state, he could almost see the starless night sky where a coffin-like sleigh should be flying across. “And does she notice my feelings for her?” he strained out, his one arm trembling as he traded the original pulling on the bars of the gate with reaching out to that unseen thing in the imaginary void. “And will she see how much she means to me?” His arm lowered along with his head. His eyes rested on Baby, who still watched him with the same curiosity and wonder she had many years ago. This caused him to wince before repositioning himself. “I think it’s not to be,” he followed up swiftly, a hint of somberness in his tone.
Now that his emotions were a little more… stable, his voice took on the serious yet imperfect tone that it was supposed to have. “What will become of my dear friend?” he picked up as he walked alongside the still-invisible ‘bars’. “Where will our actions lead us then?” He then mimed unlocking the gate. “Although I’d like to join the crowd in their enthusiastic cloud,” he sang as he swung open the ‘door’. His arm signaled both the opening of the gate and a gesture to the would-be audience. A flood of memories hit him in that moment. Performing as Spring-Bonnie many years ago, doing roughly the same pose for an entirely different scene. Singing to Elizabeth as a storm rumbled and roared outside his newer house. These, among many others, caused his voice to crack under the weight of lost time. “Try as I may it doesn’t last,” he croaked as he sat down on the edge of the stage.
It was at this point that he posed in a similar manner to his initial performance. This time, however, there was no doll to hold tight.“And will we ever end up together?” almost made him forego being in-character.It was all he could do to not look at Baby directly and break down in front of her. “No, I think not,” he sputtered out, gripping his broken arm. “It’s neverto become…”
Time seemed to slow during that one pause. The metallic rabbit hung his head. This was it. His main reason for feeling so vulnerable about to be exposed. The recorded orchestra winded down, as if to punctuate how important this moment was for him. He braced himself for impact, then sang the song’s conclusion: “For I am not the one.”Thankfully for him, his voice remained firm enough. A soft click from the radio served as the way for Scrap-Trap to completely return to reality. He lifted his head and stared right at Baby. “I told you my singing wasn’t very good,” he scoffed.
“But your acting was genuine,” Baby added. “Too genuine.” She lightly pushed herself her from the table and slowly glided to Trap’s side. “Daddy,” she said with her glowing pupils focused on him, “do you feel that way about me? That I don’t think you’re ‘the one’, whatever that means to you?”
I came across a tumblr post about how Felicia Day said in an interview her least favorite episode to film was the one where she died. She detailed that while filming the scene in the bathroom she kept looking to the window and thought “Charlie could fit through that window.”
She even measured it, but every time she tried to explain the various plot holes and how Charlie definitely could have made it, she was told “No, [Charlie] has to die.”
So, I figured I’d just make a little comic to “fix” this plot hole and give us all a version where Charlie lives at the end.
(Click images for better quality)
Find me elsewhere: Twitter: @JessiLeighArt Instagram: @jessilart Patreon.com/JessiLeigh
Thought I’d end up with Josh But it wasn’t a match Wrote some songs about Ayden Now I listen and laugh Even almost got married And for Matt, I’m so grateful Wish I could say thank you to Andrew ‘Cuz he was an angel
Get ready to be as mesmerized as Dean… for @castielslostwings is getting ready to repost Polaris!
Coming to you this weekend, its extra glittery and extra bloody. So grateful to be able to do art for this repost and to work with my friend. You’ll love it so much, you die.
Get ready to be as mesmerized as Dean… for @castielslostwings is getting ready to repost Polaris!
Coming to you this weekend, its extra glittery and extra bloody. So grateful to be able to do art for this repost and to work with my friend. You’ll love it so much, you die.
He would take claim as the organizer and leader responsible for The Fall of Domino (even though he wasn’t actually as in charge as he thought he was of the other factions that came together for the attack)
My version of him in my rewrite (for now anyway, I’m still not totally happy with his look but I’m exhausted and decided this was ok for the time being)
I’ll post some lore on him in my thing later when it isn’t finals week and I have things organized in a more coherent way
Also I don’t actually know how tall he is apparently because I couldn’t find a height chart that went over 10 feet in my whole 5 seconds of scouring lol
I only know how tall he is in relation to Daphne (and even then I might change that later but shhhh) so enjoy my makeshift size comparison sheet instead
Based off my general very ooc rewriting of all the characters. Kitt is the eldest in the team and most mature, hence giving Moord who’s newly adult some perspective.
In canon it was definitely Lance and Artha who’d be the first to offer friendship, but here I’ve edited to give Kitt a larger role and allow her to help the Paynn along in his development quicker. Artha on the other hand, has the chance to learn from her too, about giving people a chance.
Kitt’s from Down City and lived/raced longer, so she has a more mature outlook on life. Unlike the other mid/sun city boys, she’s seen the rough and tumble, even the meanest gangsters crawling throughout Down City. Although initially hostile to him due to his dad, Moordryd and his new rag-tag crew don’t even come close to being vicious to her later, so she’s the first (barring Lance) to extend friendship with him.
My Moordryd has a much clearer base moral/integrity, in that he straight up does not enjoy whatever evil plans he’s contributing to and does feel bad for cheating more often than we see in the show.
