#selfhate
Decisions decisions
Might fuck around and kill myself, might decide to keep living like this. What to do. I’ve reach a point in my life where I care so much I don’t care anymore . It’s like I can feel the anxiety in me some times but I just don’t have it in me to do anything about it. It’s almost like I’m dead but in pain.
I like this guy but I won’t do anything cause I know he deserves better than me
I’m no stranger to darkness cause that’s all I have ever known
-Night
I drown in the darkness don’t know who I am, losing parts of me every time
-Night
At the end of the day, you only have yourself. People will never remember everything you did for them, only the things you didn’t.
I just need one person. To never give up on me. Just one.
You don’t need water to feel like you’re drowning.
I’m the type of person that will sit in the bathroom and cry, but then walk out like nothing ever happened.
Brain: You can’t eat all that foot.
Binge: Watch me.
Ana: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU FAT, WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT?!
Me: I’m so sorry, oh god.
Mia: It’s okay sweetie, come here…♡
Therapist: How are you feeling?
Me: I don’t know.
Welcome to our society…
…it fucking sucks!
Depression: I want you to suffer.
Me: But I was happy at the moment.
Depression: Five minutes is enough. Now suffer!
Emotional breakdowns
Have you ever broke down sobbing after so long of being strong? Crumbled to the floor, hands by your face. Your face scrunches up and you let out that first gasp. You try to be quiet but eventually it becomes loud, heartwrenching sobs. You cry and cry, so much you can’t breathe. You ask whoever is up there, “Why? Why me? Why this? Why can’t I just be dead?” You say you want to end it all right there right then. You sob, trying to gasp breaths in between. Eventually you completely collapse on the floor after, and you just lay there, numb.
Physical pain takes away emotional pain.
“I draw with silver, and it turns red.”
- magic
You’re the one who knows me best, tell me why I’m depressed.
Everyone has that one friend, they’d choose over anyone. To talk to, hang out with, it doesn’t matter. They’re always the first choice. I get an empty feeling in my chest, when I realize I’m not that friend to anyone.
Because the pain of looking in the mirror hurts more than starving.
I wonder what it feels like to look in the mirror and not totally hate what you see.
