Sooo, everyone who knows me, also knows I would never post these things on my blog and steer clear of fandom drama. But when someone gets told to kill themselves in anon asks because another blog calls for hate against them, I had to share and show support yesterday with a reblog, because that is what you do in a community. You show some backbone and go against haters and people who try to tear us apart. Now, as of this morning, it has been brought to my attention, that @/bragisrunesand@/killaers tried to lead a smear campaign against me(my mainaccount is bitchofdarkness as you know), for….I don’t even know? For sticking up with shieldmaidenofingstad I guess? Ever since that guy entered fandom there has been drama and false claims. Just, what is wrong with him?!
They call up to have all my blogs blocked and reported in this post (link to OP):
I had blocked this fucking attention whore(bragis) weeks ago when one of you shared a fic of his. I didn’t like it, I didn’t wanna see it again on my dash, so I blocked him on all of my accounts to curate my fandom experience, which is fucking legit, everyone has a different taste. I didn’t go out of my way to hate on him. Btw, also his accounts leithdragonandforetoldchaoswhen someone pointed out that those are his other accounts, are also blocked. I did not wanna see it, so why would I go and harass someone- that’s not how I operate and everyone who knows me, should already be aware of that.
He is seriously trying to get my blogs taken down because, well, I think it’s jealousy? I’m sorry hon, I just helped a friendly person who got anon hate because of youwhen you posted about it on foretoldchaos.I did not harass anyone, I did not sent hateful anons/messages and I sure as fuck didn’t say those things in the screenshots that have been send to me.
I mean, you didn’t even get my ethnicity right while pretending to be me?! Everyone who knows me, also knows I’m not a latina and would never pretend to be. I also didn’t know I had an rp blog? That’s a new one! I don’t text like this either, it’s one hell of a bad edit btw, by god you are seriously untalented on every front, aren’t you? Falsifying information and libel are chargeable offences, in case you didn’t know. And I’d go to court, watch me, because that down there? Ain’t me. Everyone who would drop into my dms would immediately see the difference(link to original post):
The notes under said post, these people are sick:
If you see this, I’m tagging you, because all of you should know what this person really is like, you can ignore it of course, but do you think someone who wants to push me out of the fandom/have all my blogs reported is just inciting “a little fandom drama”. In the past year you’ve followed me and/or gotten to know me or just know of me, did I ever do something like this? And all of a sudden I’m accused of that? If you really ignore this, it’s equal to ignoring someone getting bullied right before your eyes.
5 TIPS FOR YOUR CERVICAL SCREENING/SMEAR TEST FROM ME, TO YOU.
Every day eight women are diagnosed with cervical cancer and three die from the disease. Yet cervical cancer is largely preventable thanks to the NHS cervical screening programme and HPV vaccination programme. In the UK 22% of UK women do not attend their cervical screening (smear test) invitation.
There is a lot of stigma around the cervical screening when realistically there shouldn’t be. The cervical screening is literally thee first defense in preventing cervical cancer. Having regular cervical screening offers the best protection against developing cervical cancer and at the screening precancerous/abnormal cells can be detected so that they can be treated to prevent the occurrence of cancer. Catching cancers early is the best treatment you can possibly ask for, so why would you avoid it?
Because you’ve probably heard that it hurts or you are embarrassed.
Firstly you are showing your vagina to people who have seen more vaginas than you want to know. Its the same for your doctor or nurse seeing yet another vagina as it is for you seeing yet another mug with a funny metaphor on. You’ve seen a hundred of them, what is another? Plus you aren’t standing butt naked in front of someone. You will have a little private area to get undressed, lay down on the bed, cover yourself modestly then your allocated professional does a procedure they are totally unfazed by because they’ve done it plenty of time and then you’ll be done.
Secondly I come onto the most common thing you’ll see pop up for information on smear tests. The word ‘pain’. BUT seriously, I think people go to the word pain because there isn’t really a way of defining how a smear test feels. It isn’t comfortable but it isn’t painful. Put it this way, stubbing your toe hurts more or hitting your elbow. And ultimately this feeling is certainly going to be much better than the kind of feelings you would have to go to if you contract cervical cancer because you’ve not attended your regular screenings.
Lets break it down. Your smear is maybe 10 minutes of feeling a bit vulnerable and a bit embarrassed because you are getting undressed and your most private parts of your body exposed and then maybe 5-10 minutes maximum of a very odd sensation. Then you are done and well on your way to cervical health. AND IT IS SO WORTH IT.
Cervical screening is 80–90% reliable and can prevent 60–80% of cervical cancers. This means that seven out of every 10 cases of women who would have developed cancer of the cervix can be prevented
And if it helps, I’ve not only had a few smears myself, but I’ve been diagnosed with abnormal cells and gone all the way to surgery and I still stand by all of the above points. It isn’t too bad, I promise, but in case here are a few tips I find have helped me and maybe, might help you too.
1. BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT FOR FIRST THING IN THE MORNING OR LAST THING IN THE EVENING.
Depending on the type of person you are I would recommend booking early in the morning to ‘get it out of the way’ and have a day to relax and wind down or last thing in the evening so when it is all done you can go home and go straight to bed with a cup of tea. That way if you do have any after-effects (sometimes you may experience some period esque cramps or paints and some bleeding) you can relax in the comfort of your own home either chilling out doing whatever chills you out (sewing, gaming, watching a movie…) or sleep on it so by the time the next day come around you’ll be back to 100% you.
2. IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS, SPEAK TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL BODY BEFOREHAND (OR IF THAT IS SCARY, A PERSON WHO HAS DONE IT BEFORE!)
There is nothing better than speaking to a professional if you are anxious. Honestly. I found that speaking to my nurses at my GP helped me understand the procedure. Also by speaking to your professional bodies in your area, if you are particularly nervous, you can identify an individual that does make you feel comfortable and book in with them. By expressing your concerns you can ultimately combat them. Or if you don’t want to speak to them directly, speak to someone who has had a smear or more, they can give you plenty of advice too. I’m always at the end of an ask!
3. DONT BE AFRAID TO FOCUS ON DOING SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE DURING THE TEST
You do not have to just lay there in that kind scary movie hospital silence. Do something that makes you feel comfortable. Almost all doctors or nurses love to have a chinwag. Sometimes I’ve spoke about the test itself the whole way through, another time I spoke about what christmas presents I was buying that year. Heck when I had my coloscopy me and the team spoke about the best way to boil rice! If talking isn’t your forte you can always take some music in with you and listen to music whilst everything goes on (just remember your professional will likely want to explain everything beforehand because they do guide you through as it all happens, just so you know what is happening) or alternatively go in with some meditation based focus and focus on a particular thing, cover your face with a nice scented scarf. Whatever is your forte, don’t be afraid to do it. The more relaxed you are the better the overall experience for you and your professionals because after all, everyone wants you to have a positive smear. BONUS TIPS FOR EXTRA COMFORT:
Wear a nice long skirt or a dress so you don’t have to get undressed, you can just hitch it up and drop it down.
Bring a small pillow or place your hands just above your bum in the crook of your back to raise your pelvis up a little bit more.
Ask to bring a chaperone to talk too.
4. DONT BE AFRAID TO SAY STOP OR VOICE YOURSELF
Sometimes you may experience discomfort. Fundamentally it is because you may be anxious or scared because like an injection, if you are tense, it can be untoward. The important thing to remember is that you can stop entirely and come back another time or you can tell your doctor or nurse what you are feeling and they will do what they can to make it better there and then. Sometimes you might need more lubricant, sometimes the speculum needs to open sideways as opposed to horizontally, if you don’t voice how you feel, if you do experience anything uncomfortable, you’ll never make it comfortable. You can personalise your experience so if you have something negative you can either make it better and positive straight away or for next time you have a smear test.
5. YOU ARE NOT ALONE
And you never will be. Every single woman over 25 all the way to 64 will have smears every three years minimum. Heck I have to have mine every 6 months (and again, I am telling you, it isn’t that bad). You don’t need to feel alone. You don’t need to feel embarrassed. You don’t need to be scared. Everything you are doing is good and everything you will do is for your own health. By you going to your own smear test you can essentially promote others to do so too. Solidarity is the way forward, if we all go, we will all be safe and all in turn, make each other feel safe.
If anyone did have any questions or maybe wants me to do another blog along these lines or just wants to chat, hit me up on a DM. You can be anonymous if that helps but I am always here.
There are so many reasons people gossip against people and smear people. It can be devastating and it can also be lucky. It really depends on how you look at it.
Here are a list of sme reason’s people hurt other people with rumors, suggestions, and smear campaigns.
Jealousy
Mad because they won’t fuck them
See them as competition for a mate, a job, or approval from the crowd
This describes so perfectly what my ex narcissist did to me, using all the intimate details if my life I had shared with them against me as ammunition for the smear campaign right from the very beginning when I was still completely unaware of what was happening. Assassinating my character behind my back while somehow taking ownership of all my good qualities, adding them to his fake facade. And how people I thought were life long friends turned their backs on me.
I needed to see this again to remind myself of what really happened. My memory gets fuzzy and sometimes confused about the reality of the situation because it was so traumatizing I think. But I need to always remember.
This describes so perfectly what my ex narcissist did to me, using all the intimate details if my life I had shared with them against me as ammunition for the smear campaign right from the very beginning when I was still completely unaware of what was happening. Assassinating my character behind my back while somehow taking ownership of all my good qualities, adding them to his fake facade. And how people I thought were life long friends turned their backs on me.
