“The I’m-Sorry-For-Being-a-Dick Bouquet”

TASM! Peter Parker

“Tighty Whiteys” Pt. 2

SUMMARY:Peter wholeheartedly regrets not coming back to Y/N’s apartment and tries his best to stay away for her sake. She continues to think of him as her career begins to take off. Spiderman sees her during a battle and has to make a deal for her safety.

TW:cursin’ n kissin’ n shi(PG-13)

WORD COUNT: 4768

-> Part One

Peter laid on his bed, staring mindlessly at the noisy fan that clicked away above him as he tried to fall asleep. He’d probably watched it spin around hundreds or thousands of times every night, trying to rid his mind of her. She lingered in his every waking thought and visited during his dreams.

“Jesus Christ,” He whispered, rubbing his hands on his face in aggravation. “Okay, stupid multiverse-god-thing. Very funny. She’s the one, I get it! Just let me sleep..”

He found himself thinking of her eyes and the way they darted around aimlessly as she talked as if they were following her train of thought. He thought about her voice and the way it got raspy as the night progressed and her drowsiness with it. He accidentally caused a small explosion at the lab earlier in the day because his mind was on her. Her plump lips; the way they moved when she spoke or, god, when she smiled.

He flipped onto his stomach and groaned into his pillow with frustration.

He wanted nothing more than to wait for her to return to the apartment and take him to her favorite diner in the city on that day. He felt his heart sink when he felt the familiar tingle, knowing he’d have to leave her stranded to chase after his newest enemy. He didn’t have time to leave a note. He had a responsibility to protect the innocent; it normally came with the cost of hurting or losing someone he loved. As much as he hated to admit it, as bad as he wanted her, he needed to stay away.

Butboy did he want her. His mind wouldn’t let him simply forget about the destiny written by the fates; the story of Spiderman and MJ, an inevitable romance that spanned through multiple universes, his being no exception. He wanted her to take him to the diner. He wanted to walk her home and kiss her sweetly before making plans for a second date. He wanted to fall for her. At times, he wanted to ignore his power and abandon his responsibility all in hopes of living a domestic and happy life with this woman.

But alas, the world didn’t stop turning for him; not in his darkest times, much less in the hopeful ones. Duty called. The Collector continued to wreak havoc on the city of New York, and Peter had no other option but to fight. Yet, he couldn’t help but wonder how she reacted when she arrived home.

Little did he know that after her meeting, she’d gone through the effort of ordering two of her usual coffee for the man who had painted the everlasting, smitten grin on her lips. She had gone through her day with a coy smile, anticipating and craving his presence. She rushed home, opening her apartment door to be greeted by a soul-shattering silence.

No number, no address, no way to contact the perfect man she had woken up next to only a few hours prior. She’d searched every room, hoping the sinking feeling in her stomach would be replaced by the warm one she’d felt that same morning but there was nothing but her usual empty and silent apartment. Her smile faded and eyes blurred, left with no other option but to drink both coffees and move on with the day.

It had been almost two weeks now since their interaction. He’d seen her at the scenes of The Collector’s attacks, observing Spider-man’s every move and defending him mercilessly in her New York Times column; The Daily Herald. He’d make it a point to pick it up every morning on his way to work and read it on the train ride. Her words were piercing and revolutionary, changing the minds of thousands of citizens a day. It seemed that as time carried on, Peter noticed more and more pedestrians reading and talking about her articles.

He sighed, looking at the clock. Sleep now weighed heavily on his lids as his thoughts slowed to a single image; her. Y/N was engraved into his mind; he saw her vividly every time his eyes fluttered shut. And with that, he slowly drifted into a restless slumber, unaware that she laid under the same sky with the same striking memory replaying on a loop in her own mind.

———

The city had been quieter than usual; everyone hid away in the safety of their own home in fear of being caught in The Collector’s terrorizing paralysis. Tourists mostly steered clear of New York, and those who had the privilege of working from home rarely dared to leave their apartments. The attacks were more frequent and deadly. declining in morality at the villain’s mind declined in its strange illness.

Y/N mindlessly stared at the pedestrians who rushed past the cafe window. She was meant to be writing the next day’s article. Though it was a seemingly impossible task with the endless daydreams and memories of the night spent with a perfect stranger. She’d never quite managed to rid her mind of him completely.

She rarely remembered her dreams yet couldn’t seem to forget the one she woke from that same morning. His warm brown eyes, his soft chuckle, the tint of his blushing cheeks, the shape of his lips, the way he said her name- it was all the same.

The beginnings of rain snapped her out of her thoughts. She smiled as it began to sprinkle the fast-paced crowd outside, watching as some children held their arms up and stuck their tongues out before being ushered off by their parents. For a split second, it felt like the same city again; bustling with life and noise. It felt like home again.

The moment was interrupted by a loud crash, and suddenly the sweet scene from just seconds before melted into disarray. The same kids she watched happily embrace the rain were now being pulled into buildings by their mothers. A crowd of people ran down the street in blind chaos, screaming so loud that the windows rattled.

“‘Scuse me! Comin’ through!” She heard someone yell before seeing the familiar red vigilante sprint past the window. He shot a web and launched himself forward, sending him out of sight.

The Collector, she thought as she closed her laptop and quickly stuffed it in her bag before running outside. She only caught a small glimpse of the battle before it moved out of sight, it seemed that the enemy kept developing new weapons; this time it was a motorcycle that sped effortlessly between crowds and buildings. She followed the screams and ran against the swarm of panicked pedestrians, paying little mind to the mayhem.

She kept seeing glimpses of red turn corners, missing the majority of the action. She sprinted at full speed at this point, knowing damn well the danger she was putting herself in but putting the thought aside for the opportunity to write about a first-hand Spiderman experience. The adrenaline kept her legs moving and thoughts silenced for a few more minutes before she finally slowed down.

She turned another corner, only to see a frozen congregation of people that looked like something from a River Styx painting. She stopped in her tracks, backing behind a wall before deciding on whether or not to proceed. Then she saw it; Spiderman holding the watch in his hand as The Collector yanked at the makeshift web cuffs on his wrists to no avail. The motorcycle was dangling to the building above.

“Oh, my sweet boy,” The older man chuckled, shooting his foe a bone-chilling grin. “This would’ve all been over by now if you killed me when you had the chance.”

“It could’ve been prevented if you would’ve just listened to me,” Spiderman spoke up, breathing heavily with anger and despair. “The cure wasn’t worth the madness. The old you would’ve preferred death over the man you’ve become.”

“Kill me,“ He purred, smiling like the Cheshire cat. “Or I will personally see to your loved ones’ deaths. Starting with that old-“

A web suddenly covered his mouth. The Collector’s eyes widened before he squirmed around and screamed.

“What was that? Starting with who?” Spiderman asked, stepping closer to his muffled words and cupping his ear. “Just a little louder, man. I can’t quite understand you.”

He fumbled a bit with the watch for a moment as the wailing sirens grew closer. The silence burst into screams and the sounds of a stampede, civilians running every which way. Y/N could no longer hear the conversation but watched as Spiderman walked up to the man and whispered something in his ear, causing The Collector to fall still. She dared to step out from behind the wall, trying to hear what was being said.

It was no use trying to run against the roaring crowd. She felt people slam into her and shove her out of the way as she attempted to approach her targets. The sirens grew deafening as she halted to a stop, giving up any chance of getting close before the cops ushered her away.

The masked man looked to his left to see the cop cars begin to swarm in. That’s when he saw her. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of the woman standing amid the paranoid mob that ran against her. He dared not look for too long, not wanting to give any hint of recognition.

“Well, that’s my cue,” Spiderman nodded toward the cops before shooting a web up towards a nearby skyscraper. “I meant what I said. Behave.”

“Wait!” Y/N stepped forward only to see him fly into the sky once again. “I-.. And you’re gone. Great.”

“Out of the way!” The cops called as they shoved people away from the man in web constraints.

“How many times have we told you that you can’t be at these scenes, Y/L/N?” A familiar cop barked, grabbing at her shoulders to pull her away. She turned to see that it was the chief of police, an old friend of her father’s. “It’s dangerous. You can get a quote later.”

“Chief Johnson, it’s part of-“

“Your job, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard your spiel before. It’s my job to clear the premises so get the fuck out of here!” He rolled his eyes, shoving her towards the cop cars. She looked back at The Collector as a cop recited his rights and cuffed him. “MJ! Go!”

“Fine! I’m gone,” She held up her hands defensively before turning on her heels. “Damn, who pissed in your fucking cereal this morning?”

“Don’t you have something better to write about?” He called after her. She stopped in her tracks. “He’s a menace to society!”

“He hasn’t killed anyone so what does that make you?” She asked, shrugging with her hands before turning to leave.

Y/N rolled her eyes as she turned the corner. She hated cops, but specifically the ones on Johnson’s crew. He used to be someone she was fond of until she found out about all of the injustice and corruption that he and his coworkers partook in.

“Fucking pig.”

———

After returning to the cafe, Y/N spent the next few hours writing and perfecting the article, making sure to explain the events that unfolded only hours before. She lost track of time, only leaving when the barista informed her that they’d be closing soon.

The streets were bustling with people celebrating the newfound freedom that came from The Collector’s imprisonment. She smiled at the lively crowds that gathered in the East Village, giggling at the people who decided to sport Spiderman masks. New York City was restored to its buoyant state.

She took the usual train home and walked a few blocks towards her apartment, opting to take a shortcut through the same alley she’d found Peter in.

The city’s sounds were muffled in the dark space; it was instead filled with the echo of her footsteps bouncing off of the dirty walls and rusty trash cans. She walked for a few minutes before realizing that she heard a second pair of footsteps behind hers. Taking a quick glance over her shoulder, she noticed the silhouette of a familiar skintight bodysuit.

“You’re that Daily Herald journalist,” The voice from earlier spoke. “Y/L/N, right?”

“Depends,” She adjusted her backpack as she turned to face him. “Who’s asking?”

She heard a breathy chuckle before he walked into the light, showing off his brilliant red suit.

“Just figured I’d say thank you. Before your column, most people saw me as a threat. But tonight.. I’ve never seen so many-”

“Fans?” She suggested.

“Well, I was going to say Spidermen in one place,” He chuckled once more. “But I like the sound of fans a lot better.”

She smiled. “Well, it’s no problem. I’m just writing the truth. It’s part of the job.”

“Is it part of the job to follow me around too?” He questioned.

“Oh, that? No, that’s just for fun,” She deadpanned before laughing. The man chuckled. “So did you really go through the trouble of finding out where I live just to thank me and ask if I was following you around?”

“Actually no. My main purpose of coming out here was to tell you to be careful,” He continued, making her furrow her brows. “Look, I don’t want you getting hurt on my behalf. Stop following me, alright?”

“And lose my job? Pass. But I appreciate the concern,” She turned to leave before a web blocked her path.

“I’m serious. Just-.. Be more careful. There have been lesser-known journalists that have died for less. If I see you in the middle of a fight again, I’ll have to web you to a wall or something,” He said sternly, making her smile.

“Web me to a wall?! No, please, Spiderman! I promise to stop following you around!” She cried out sarcastically. “How was that?”

“How was the acting or comedic presentation?”

“Both.”

“It was god awful,” He answered nonchalantly, making her chuckle. “What do I have to do to get you to stop following me?”

“Meet me here every night and tell me about your battles.”

“No way,” He protested. “Do you have any idea how much danger I put you in just by visiting tonight?”

She narrowed her eyes in thought before pulling her backpack off of her shoulder and taking out a small business card.

“Email me then,” She said, holding out the card. He looked down at her hand. “I can’t afford to lose this job. So it’s either this or I keep following you around.”

“You want me to report back to you after every battle?” He grumbled, looking back at her. She raised her brows, waving the card. He hesitantly took it. “Even the nightly patrols?”

“You do nightly patrols?” Her eyes widened. “I didn’t know that. But, yeah, that’d be ideal. If you can’t get around to it though, I’d settle for a weekly update.”

“Okay, deal,” He said after a brief moment of consideration. “You sure it won’t cause any tension between you and a boyfriend?”

“I’m sure he won’t mind, considering he’s nonexistent,” She smiled again before shrugging, choosing to ignore the inquisitive, flirtatious tone. “Currently too busy being caught up on someone I met once to fall for somebody new.”

Peter felt his breath hitch in his throat at the confession. She was talking about him. Not only that, but she rejected what she thought was another man because she liked him. He felt a hot blush graze his cheeks, grateful for the opportunity to be able to hide behind a mask as he heard that, and simply nodded.

“But I should probably get inside to finish up tomorrow’s story,” She continued. “If you could email me at least every Thursday so I have the weekend to work on an article, that’d be great.”

“Will do,” He said, not quite being able to wipe the smile off of his masked face as he watched her sling her backpack on again.

“Nice to finally meet you, Spidey,” She said before walking off, turning back to flash him that heart-melting smile before disappearing behind the corner. “I expect to hear about today’s fight!”

———

Peter smiled as he read the morning paper, reading a direct quote from the email he’d sent the previous night. He had to go to four different places to finally get The Times; the entirety of New York seemed to be carrying around, reading or talking about The Daily Herald.

“Hey, man,” His favorite coworker greeted as he walked into the laboratory’s downstairs cafeteria. “Ah, catching up on The Daily Herald, I see?”

“Hey. Yeah, me and everyone else it seems like,” Peter said, looking around at the people holding their phones or the paper, all reading or talking about the previous day’s events.

“Crazy fight, huh?” Caleb continued with a big grin, setting down his lunch and mimicking Spider-man’s web shooting stance. “I saw it in person! He was all Wa Pow and Ha Ya!”

“You didn’t see it, did you?”

“Not even a glimpse,” He smirked, taking his usual seat in front of him. “But that article was crazy, dude. Reading it made it feel like I was there. I think she even incorporated a Wa Pow in there and everything.”

“I see you didn’t skip out on your Adderall this morning,” Peter chuckled.

“Oh, fuck off,” Caleb laughed, before looking around at their coworkers in the cafeteria. “Feels like I stepped into some weird time portal. I don’t remember the last time I saw so many newspapers in one room.”

“Hey, I have a favor to ask,” Peter said, setting down the paper next to him and earning a hummed response from his friend. “You think you can cover for me for the rest of the day? There’s this girl that I really like and I found out that she-“

“If I say yes, will you spare me your love life details? I don’t need to know about another one of your casual hookups,” He sighed. Peter chuckled; he rarely ever had hookups. It was mostly an excuse to get out of work or other activities to go fight crime.

“It’s not a hookup, actually,” He corrected, making his friend’s jaw drop dramatically.

“You mean my horniest friend decided to put his trashy whore days behind him? Did you like suddenly become religious?” Caleb asked. “Oh my god… Are you dying?”

“What? No, I’m not dying,” Peter rolled his eyes. “Remember that girl I told you about? The one that patched me up after I got jumped?”

He might’ve stretched the truth a little on that too.

“Shut up. You’re actually gonna go back?” Grey leaned in, soaking in the gossip. “I knew you would! Yeah, I’ll cover for you. We’re waiting on a shipment so they’ll probably let us off early anyway.”

“Oh, dude, I owe you one!” Peter grinned before frantically gathering his things into his bag. “I could kiss you!”

Peter practically ran out of the building after he changed into his suit. He shot a web to a nearby skyscraper before launching himself into the air and heading towards the East Village. He stopped only a few blocks away from her building to change his clothes before walking up the familiar streets. He passed a small flower stand, leaving a twenty as he grabbed a set of purple flowers. “Keep the change!”

He finally made his way up to her apartment building, catching the door as someone exited and walking up the stairs to the fourth floor, stopping at the third apartment on the left.

This was it.

He took a deep breath, preparing something to say before he raised his hand up to her door to knock, only to be greeted with it flying open and a gasp.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Y/N yelped, holding her hand to her heart. She looked up at the man standing before her with a smile, holding the flowers up. Her features softly melted into an expression of amused disbelief. “.. Peter?”

“Hi,” He greeted softly.

“What are you doing here?” She furrowed her brows, a hint of a smile teasing at the corners of her lips. “Wait- how’d you get up here?”

“Caught the door as someone was leaving,” He pointed behind him, looking into her Y/E/C eyes that danced back and forth between his own. “Can I come in?”

“I, uh.. Yeah, yeah, come in,” She stepped aside, granting him access. “I only have about twenty minutes though, I have to catch a meeting.”

“Yeah, okay,” He nodded, looking into her ever-moving eyes.

“So… did you come here for something or..?” She shifted her weight uncomfortably in the silence.

“Yeah, I just.. Y/N, I’m so sorry for leaving that day,” He began, making her eyebrows raise in surprise. “Look, I know you must think I’m a dick for the way I left. I feel like a dick for leaving you hanging without so much as an explanation. And I’ll gladly give you one if you want, but I just wanted to apologize. Oh, and these are for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” She laughed as he handed them to her, lifting them up to her nose and taking in their scent. “I love lavender. Thank you. Let me put them in water, I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.”

He smiled and nodded before she walked away. He felt a shift in the way she looked and spoke to him. Not that he blamed her for it, he’d probably have his walls up too after his little disappearing stunt, but it was kind of heartbreaking to see the once warm and present gaze now a little colder and more distant. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, hoping he didn’t fuck things up past repair.

He took in the apartment, noticing the guitar that now sat outside of its case. She got a new set of candles and a different couch, but everything else remained the same. The warm scent of vanilla wafted through the air and the posters hung happily in their places. He took a seat on the couch as she came back into the room with two glasses of water.

“Thanks,” He smiled at her graciousness. She looked at him as if she was skeptical it was all a dream; he looked at her as if he never wanted to wake up.

“It’s comfy, isn’t it?” Y/N asked, taking a seat next to him and putting down her glass on the sturdy coffee table before shifting to look at him.

“Yeah. I like the green,” He asked, looking down at the velvet couch. “Does this one get stuck too?”

“No, that’s kind of the point of a new couch,” She teased. “That’s more of a DIY project called ‘my friends are drunk idiots’. I donated that old thing.”

“Ah,” He smiled before looking up at her. “Bummer.”

She raised her brows, giggling slightly at his flirtatious comment before looking over his shoulder at the clock. Her face fell slightly as her eyes settled on his once again.

“What?” He asked, following her gaze. “You have to leave?”

“I should leave soon, yeah. I have this important meeting with my boss. I should probably get my stuff together,” She pursed her lips, placing a sympathetic hand on his wrist and getting up.

“Oh, yeah,” He nodded, hiding his disappointment as he stood up. “No problem. I can just-”

“Peter, can I ask you a question?” She blurted out, turning towards him.

“Yeah, of course,” He nodded, sensing the shift of tone.

“What changed?” Her own disappointment was on display now.

“What changed? What do you mean?” He tilted his head slightly.

“Why are you here?” She furrowed her brows, watching as he took a deep breath. “I mean it’s been two weeks. Why today?”

“Honestly? I-.. I can’t stop thinking about you,” He admitted, chuckling nervously. “And I’ve tried to stop but.. Y/N, you’re the first thing on my mind when I wake up. I can’t get the thought of you out of my head throughout the day either; wondering what you’re doing or if you’re staying safe. I pick up The Times every morning to read your column. Hell, I can barely sleep knowing that your apartment is only a few stops away from mine. I guess I realized that maybe the reason I couldn’t stop thinking about you is because I don’t wanna stop. I just had to see you again.”

She smiled at his sweet confession and his nervous demeanor. He moved his hands frantically as he spoke, running them through his hair when he stumbled on words, his voice gently and nervously pleading for her forgiveness. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” He responded softly, glancing down to her lips quickly before looking back into her eyes. He swore he could melt on the spot when she looked at him like that.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either,” She took a step forward, making him let out a breathy chuckle of relief and excitement.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Mhm,” She hummed slowly.

“And why’s that?” He took another step forward, closing the distance between them. His eyes locked onto her upturned lips.

“I think you know why,” She said softly, feeling him place his hand on her left hip.

“Maybe,” He whispered, now only mere centimeters from her face. She felt his hot breath rhythmically hit her top lip. “But I wanna hear you say it.”

“I like you, Peter,” She breathed, biting her lip. His name has never sounded so sweet. He smiled and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek. When his eyes made their way back to hers, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer; he leaned down and kissed her.

She was intoxicating. Her lips were softer than he imagined, and they moved in perfect harmony with his own, fitting flawlessly like the last piece of a puzzle. He felt her smile into the kiss before pulling him in closer to deepen it.

Never in his life had he felt a kiss like this one. The passion was electric, sending shock waves down his spine. He never believed in soulmates, not even after hearing the other Peter Parkers talk about their MJs, not even after he met his own. But this. This kiss, this moment, this woman; it all began to disprove his personal belief system.

He never believed in fate or destiny, but he wanted nothing more than for this, her, to be written in his future. It was no coincidence that in every realm of the universe, they were meant to find each other. He finally understood the gravitational pull she had on his mind; no matter how badly he fought against it, it was written in the stars. It was now beyond him.

“Mm, I really.. need to go,” She giggled in between kisses, only to be pulled back in by the delightfully dazed man she was entangled to. “Peter.. I’m serious.”

“Okay, okay,” He smiled dreamily as he pulled away. “Wait, one more.”

He leaned down and gently kissed her before they laughed against each other’s lips.

“What time are you free tonight?” He murmured, placing his forehead against her own.

“Well, unless Spiderman decides to get into some mischief, 7:00,” She smiled.

“I’ll personally see to it that he doesn’t,” He half-joked, making her chuckle as she pulled away to grab her purse. “Can I take you out to dinner?”

“Depends,” She smirked, opening her door. He followed behind her and walked towards the elevator. “Where were you thinking?”

“Either my favorite place or yours,” He responded as she pressed the button to go down. She smiled as he pulled her in by the hips. “What’re you up for? Chinese or that diner you were telling me about?”

“Chinese actually sounds heavenly,” She threw her head back in desire, making him laugh.

“Chinese it is,” He nodded as the elevator door opened. She hesitantly pulled away before he gently grabbed her wrist and guided her back into him, kissing her softly one final time. “I’ll be here at 7:00.”

“It’s a date,” She smiled before they walked out of the building and went their separate ways, smiling like idiots with a seemingly everlasting blush that lingered on their cheeks for the rest of the afternoon.

————

@zellieanne@lauraneedstochill@andrew-garfield-is-my-mj@celestialevie@captainbarness@musicconversedance@garfieldphobic@kdatthecastle@mitchloveswriting@sunsetswervedd@enigmaticsal@levylovegood@cosmistake@aubreylovesthegames@fruehlings-gefuehl@todaywasafairytale07@darkbarbariancherryblossom@selftitledficconnoisseur@scarlettels@acciosiriusblack@mypalbuck@galacticstxrdust@beesunhinged@im-the-nerdiest-of-them-a11@sirenphrynne

Spoilers for no way home in de hashtags!!!

Start sending in those spiderman: no way home requests guys! Or really just requests for any of the characters

Peter: Are you laughing at that video of Bucky and Rocket fighting?

Tony:No.

Y/N: We’re laughing at the comments.

Peter Parker x reader

Summary: All Peter’s ever wanted was your attention, but you’ve got your eyes on someone else… our friendly neighborhood Spiderman, actually. What could possibly go wrong?

AN: there won’t be a taglist for this, or any other mini series because i actually have a posting schedule. surprised? me too!

Masterlist|Twitter Profiles

1. Part One
2. Part Two
3. Part Three
4. Part Four
5. Part Five

yo i know it’s been like a bajillion years and i’m 17 and should have fallen out of my peterparker phase but do ya’ll like first person or second person.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ

—

!spoilers for no way home!

pairing:peter parker x fem!reader

summary: after strange’s spell, everybody forgot. peter could walk down the street without having cameras shoved into his face, but he could no longer go into that coffeehouse and talk to his friends like he used to. everybody forgot who peter parker was. everybody except for one.

genre: angst, friends to lovers

warnings: spoilers (obviously), angst, sad peter hours, little bit of canon level violence

word count: 5.4k

mcu masterlist

—

The paper in his hand was crumpled, the words on his tongue slurred as his hands sweated from his anxious nerves. His heartbeat thumped erratically in his chest and walking through that open door that greeted his senses to the strong smell of coffee and sweets just about sent him into a spiral.

The girl behind the counter gave him a small, costmary smile, only growing naturally when she saw the person behind Peter and gave them a bigger wave.

Looking over his shoulder he watched as Ned shoved past him, instantly making conversation with MJ as if he wasn’t there.

“Hey Ned,” She gave Peter another small smile as she mouthed in a second, and grabbed Ned’s usual order of the glazed donut, pouring him some coffee she had already made beforehand as they chatted about MIT and other things Peter had missed in the time they, along with the rest of this universe, had forgotten him.

He had to get used to that, Peter reminded himself, he technically no longer existed.

“Hello,” She greeted as she finished talking to Ned, not noticing how Peter’s eyes brimmed with tears, “What can I get you?”

Peter stuttered, just as he always seemed to do around MJ, and looked down at the papers for help, nodding to himself as he muttered encouraging words for himself under his breath.

“I-I’m Peter Parker,” He said slowly, for the first time since that spell was cast and everybody forgot who he was, the words he had practiced a million times before sounding small and insolent.

He wasn’t anybody under that mask. Once he put it on, everybody knew Spiderman. It seemed as though his life was turning backward as even the girl he loved could recognize the masked hero better than him.

But to his shock and surprise, he watched as her eyes widened a bit, the smile dropping as Ned looked up from his seat, his eyes squinting as he tried to get a better look at his face.

Time stopped as MJ instantly whipped her phone out, typing something quickly as she made a quick call, whispering out a quick apology as the person behind the other line refused to pick up.

“D-do you know me? I-it’s me, Peter,” He moved forward, shuffling as hope ignited in his chest, warmth blossoming to the tips of his fingers as he looked from MJ and then to Ned, his lips turning upward into the biggest smile he had ever given somebody, “Peter Parker?” His lungs seemed to stop working as air lodged up in his throat, waiting for her to just say something.

“U-uh no, sorry,” MJ cursed to herself as the line beeped again, the automated voice answering box mocking her as she pocketed the phone, “Sorry about that. What,” She pushed her hair back behind her ears, trying to look as professional as she could as Ned gapped behind her, “What can I get you?”

And just like that, his smile fell, hands to his sides as the paper jeered at him for his stupidity and innocence.

“Oh, um,” His voice fell an octave, hushed as he almost let out a pained sound, “That’s,” He took in a deep breath, trying to sturdy himself back into his factious reality, “That’s o-okay. Can I get a coffee to go, p-please?”

The door behind him swung open, and he once again watched as MJ gave the person behind him one of her real smiles, not the ones she was forced to put on because of her job, but that wasn’t what stopped Peter in his tracks.

He heard a small gasp from behind him, a sound of objects clattering to the floor as he whipped his head around, eyes widening when he saw you.

It had been weeks since you two last talked, since you laughed at his stupid science puns, and it had been an agonizingly long amount of time since he watched carelessly as you ate those stale donuts while MJ and Ned decided different things to write for their college admissions letter.

There were dark eye bags under your eyes, your face no longer the bright and happy one he was so used to seeing, this one much grimmer and saddened as the two of you stared at one another, the silence becoming heavy as you didn’t say anything.

Your mouth opened, fingers touching your hair as you tried to ground yourself, gapping as you took a slow step forward, not caring about your laptop that could have possibly been broken from the fall it took or the way you already chipped phone could have received more damage.

“Peter?”

He decided that he had never heard a more beautiful sound.

No time was spared are you barreled into his chest, arms tightening around him like a python as you shakily whimpered into his neck, your tears falling down like rain droplets, wetting his skin and collar of his shirt as you wept.

You didn’t care if people saw, didn’t care if MJ and Ned stared at you like you just saw a ghost, didn’t care about anything because Peter was here. He was here and alive and holding you as you were the only thing keeping him steady from falling down.

“P-peter,oh god, Peter,” You cried into him, not letting go though he didn’t seem to want to either as your lips wavered, fingers grasping tighter onto the fabric of his back as your chest heaved with wet sobs, “Oh Pete,” That is all you could seem to say as tears moved in like waves and you had no control over them.

For him, it felt like time had stopped as he sensed your familiar scent of warm vanilla, your warm touch now a bit cold but still you as you held him like he mattered. The way you used to do when he was somebody that people loved, when he was the real Peter Parker.

It took you minutes to move away from his body and even then had difficulty as he seemed to refuse to let you go, but you couldn’t not see his face for a second longer, your fingers moving upward as you gripped his cheek in your hands, eyes scanning his face for any cuts or bruises, anything to prove to you why he had been gone for so long without saying anything.

His tears fell down his cheek, splattering on the ground, but the two of you did nothing to wipe either as your hands fell from his face, falling on his chest as you looked at MJ, pointing to him as you waited for her or Ned to say something.

When she gave you a confused shake of her head, asking what was wrong, you felt more tears roll in as you felt the insanity you had been feeling the past few weeks etch its way back into your mind.

You gave him a little push, his feet tumbling back as your lips wobbled in anger, eyes looking at him like he lit the world afire, and you heaved, another sob coming out of your chest as you smacked his arm.

“Where,” You gave his chest another push, but it was weak and he could withstand it, “Were,” Another weak one, your hands folding in on themselves as you crumpled back into his chest, “You?” You seethed those three words out, each quieter than the last, a mix of rage, betrayal, ache, hurt, everything you’d been feeling but didn’t know why seeped out as you hugged him once again.

Peter couldn’t feel anything as he felt your tears on his skin, hands shaking as he scooped you into his arm, his cheek pressed tightly against your head as his thumb moved ever so slowly up and down your back, something he sued to do when you or MJ or May was every feeling sad, something he never thought he’d do again, but here he was.

His mind was reeling, everything was going so fast he could barely breathe, but you were here, you were her and hugging him just like you used to do.

“You know me?”

His voice was barely there, a fleeting whisper as he could barely believe what he was seeing. He heard you give a small, appalled laugh, punching him lightly in the chest as you looked up at him, confused that he’d even ask such a ridiculous question.

“Peter, what the fuck, o-of course,” You lamely tried to wipe at the tears, “Of course, I know you? Y-you’re Peter Parker, right? Or have you changed your name since I last saw you because nobody seems to know who you are! A-and I feel like I’m crazy and insane but you’re here so you have to be real. I-I mean, these past nine years couldn’t have been fake, right? An-” He cut you off, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek as he swooped you back into his arms.

“Was it that electrical guy, d-did he, did he shock you or something? Have you been to the hospital? Why didn’t you tell us, you know we’d come…” You whispered into his chest, defeated as he sniveled something out, almost shocked as he stuttered nonsense to himself.

“Wewouldcome but MJ and Ned seem to have lost their fuckin’ minds because they can’t seem to remember you!” You said, furious now as you looked at the girl and boy behind him.

You snapped out of your trance, struggling to get out of his grasp as you stared the two of them down, shaking in defiant rage as you pointed to him.

“This,” You almost yelled, “This is Peter! Remember? Peter Benjamin Parker? O-or can’t you seem to know your own fucking boyfriend?” Your head tilted to the side in an almost manic way. MJ could barely say anything as she stuttered, looking at Peter and then back to you, “And you,” You moved over to Ned, your finger jammed into his chest as he looked wildly at your face, “Do you not remember Peter? Pete from third grade? Peter with remarkably amazing eyesight? Peter who built the death star with you? That Peter?”

If only you could see the way Peter beamed, at the way his eyes widened and shined so brilliantly, as though you had handed him his world back even if you were just yelling at your friends for no reason.

You remembered him. Everything about him, and he could barely control his childlike glee, the rosy blush that swarmed his cheeks adding some color to his face that had been so pale the past couple of days.

For in the span of those minutes you first saw him till now, Peter deduced that MJ, Ned, Happy, and just about anybody who knew who he was still didn’t know the real Peter Parker.

Everybody except for you.

“U-um, n-no, can’t say I,” Ned looked over at MJ, questioning you and the stranger he had only seen until a few minutes ago, “Can’t say I do?”

You groaned, jamming your palms into your eye sockets as your fists clenched, looking back at MJ to see if anything sparked in her memory, but she just seemed to be apologizing to Peter for your loud outburst.

But Peter could only give her a shaky smile, muttering some things as he pushed past some people to get to you, his hands shaking a bit as he gripped your arms, searching your face to see if you still remembered him.

“Y/n,” Peter had the most gentle hold on your arm, almost terrified that if he touched you you’d disappear, “Can we go outside,” He looked at the small crowd forming, “Please?”

You whipped your head to the sound, your angry look vanishing when Peter gave you a heartbreaking smile, cocking his head to the door as he tried to usher you out.

You couldn’t say anything as you muttered your goodbyes to your friends, letting Peter walk you out because you couldn’t trust your legs, the cold air hitting your face as your teeth clamped down together.

“Pete, come on, you gottatell me what’s going on…” You felt him usher you to an alley, looking behind him to see if anybody was looking, but realizing he no longer had to be conscious about what he said because nobody would look at a boy in an alleyway to find out spiderman’s true identity.

“You know me?” He asked again, fingers carding through your hair as you gave him a slow and timid nod, wondering if you actually were crazy and he was a figment of your imagination this entire time.

“Yes, Pete, I know you. Unless some shit happened in these two weeks-”

“Something did happen,” He quickly said, his hands never leaving your shoulder, “Something bighappened and n-nobody’s supposed to know who I am,” He glanced back at the coffeehouse, “MJ and Ned were supposed to forget me. Youwere supposed to forget me b-but,” He looked back at you as if he could barely believe anything that had just happened, “Y-you know me?” His voice felt so raw, so defeated that despite the millions of questions that swarmed your mind, not one of them mattered as you pulled him into a hug, allowing his tears to fall freely in the expanse of your arms, something he never thought he could do again in such a short amount of time since that spell happened.

“You know me,” He said to himself because he couldn’t believe that somebody still remembered who he was, “You,” He embraced you back so tightly you felt the air in your lungs squeeze out, “Know,” He kissed your forehead as he looked at you, his thumb tracing your cheek to make sure you weren’t just another part of his nightmare, so glad to actually feel skin against his skin, “Me?”

And in that alleyway, with people passing by and the world moving around on its axis, his seemed to stop. Because here, he realized that he wasn’t totally in the dark. That somebody, perhaps one of the most important people in his life, could hug him back as they muttered his name over and over again, a mantra of truth that made Peter Parker somewhat of a person again.

—

As the weeks passed, it seemed as though Peter couldn’t let you go, showing you around his shabby apartment as he tried to slyly wipe the tears away from his cheek, giving you a wet chuckle as you noted about the little star wars figures on his desk and that you’d be sure to bring back more.

It was painful to tell Ned and MJ that something came up in your life to explain the outburst you had, and although they quickly forgave you, it didn’t hurt any less when they moved along the topic as if Peter’s name wasn’t important to them.

You guessed it no longer was.

You waited patiently as he’d pace around his room, reading a book on his bed he tried to come up with different solutions as to why you still knew who he was, every detail about his past that even he had been starting to forget, but he could only blame it on a flaw in Strange’s magic that allowed for this to happen.

His apartment was cold and dark, but he never failed to tell you just how restful you made it with all your visits, with the way you baked him your legendary pecan pie and made it the first thing he had in his rundown fridge.

His suit was tucked away in a corner, and he hadn’t touched it much since that night. Crime had been at a low, and even if it wasn’t, he felt rather nauseous whenever he put it on.

He’d tell you all about his plan in getting back together with MJ, to make her fall back in love with him, with how he promised both her and Ned that he’d come back for them, but his childish promise seemed more difficult to pull off seeing that they had moved to Massachusets a couple days ago.

He found a job at the computer store down the street, one of the last of its kind, and glimpsing at how you had been able to secure that Stark internship a couple years ago, Happy seemed intent on letting you stay as your job in New York continued from the comfort of your room. Moreso, Peter’s, seeing how much time you spent there.

“I just,” You looked up from your laptop as Peter slammed the door shut, kicking his shoes off with an annoyed huff, “I fuckin’ hate it. Seein’ MJ with that dick on her socials and Ned watching Return of the Jedi with Flash…” He flopped down on the mattress, his weight pushing you down a bit as you gave his back a comforting rub, your fingers tugging on his hair as he whined quietly again, moving so that he could situate his head on your thighs, looking up at his ceiling as he pressed a small kiss against your pants, trying for a smile as you began typing away.

“’M sorry Peter,” You glanced down at him, giving him an apologetic grin as you rubbed his shoulders, “It fuckin’ sucks, I know,” You patted his cheek as you went to type something, letting out a frustrated groan when your code didn’t work, forgetting what you were going to say to him when your mind got sidetracked.

He sat up, looking over your shoulder as he read what was on the screen, lips pursing together as he tried to make out what you were doing.

“Need some help?” He offered and had you not been running on two hours of sleep and about seven cups of coffee from the past three hours, you would have said no. But you just pushed it towards him, letting your back fall down as you heaved in a sigh of relief after being hunched for so long.

“When was the last time you slept?” He commented on your drowsy state and you murmured some incoherent words as you gripped onto his pillow.

“What?” He glanced at you, worry taking over his features as you moved in and out of sleep.

“About a day ago,” You gave a loud yawn, “Or two,” You tiredly rubbed at your eyes, “Maybe t-three, actually,” You yawned again, this time louder as you stretched.

Peter instantly put the laptop aside, moving so that you could lay fully on the bed, taking your glasses off as he set them on the little table next to him, folding them as you subconsciously snuggled deeper into his fluffy sheets.

“Oh Y/n,” He muttered some things as you yawned again, letting him place his hand behind your back as he lay another pillow underneath your head, “You gotta take more care of yourself, this isn’t healthy,”

Your lips pouted as you stared at him through your lashes, thoughts running behind that head of yours as your brows furrowed with one another.

“I got'chu though,” You murmured tiredly, your hands searching for his as you gave them a weak squeeze, earning a gentle one back in return.

“I know,” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as he tugged the blanket over your body, “But I’m not always here and you gotta know when to stop, yeah? I don’t have anybody else, so I gotta make sure you’re doin’ fine, okay?” You gave him a slow nod, adjusting your head into the pillow as you gripped onto his hand even tighter than before.

“’M always here,” You muttered slowly, “Nothin’ safer than spiderman’s apartment,” You joked with slurred words, sleep overtaking your features as you nodded off.

“Yeah,” He almost choked as he gave you a tight lipped smile, giving the back of your hand a kiss, “I know,”

Peter gave a small chuckle as he fell on the floor, not letting go of your hand as he used the other one to wipe at his tears.

It felt routine to have his eyes water up at the end of the night. Most of the time, he’d know the reason behind them. Some of them for MJ, for the fact that he was never able to tell her he loved her one last time, for the promises he made in the final minutes he was sure he’d never be able to make. For the fact that he’d most likely never be able to sit down with Ned and just watch a movie and laugh and have nothing else to worry about. Other times they were for May and the fact that her blood still stained his hands, no matter how many times you helped him clean them. On the rare occasion, Happy would plague his thoughts, and even worse was when he heard Tony’s last words, the deaths that lined his conscience whenever he tried to sleep.

But here, it wasn’t for the regret, the pain, the longing he felt regularly.

It was because you held onto him no matter what, that even as you tried to move in your sleep, you held his fingers with all your might. They reminded him that even in the world in which everything lit afire, you were there to put it out. The girl with the large glasses and books overflowing her backpack, the one that painfully waited for him to back after every mission only to watch with tearful eyes as you embraced him once again.

In these hours you reminded Peter that even when everything else he loved had gone to ruin, you never left, even if it wasn’t in your power to decide that, even if the fates above decided who’s string to meddle with more.

You heard a muted sniffle and eyes instantly snapped open, worriedly looking at him as he quickly wiped them away, but you were already shifting so that you sat on the ground next to him, pulling him into your side as you wordlessly hugged him.

Too many nights you’d waken up to get a cup of water only to find him crying silently to himself, so even when he pleaded for you to just pretend that everything was okay and to go back to sleep, you trained yourself in hearing the little sounds he’d make.

“Wanna go sleep?” You gently offered, yawning as you helped him stand up as you led him back to the bed, removing his coat as you folded it and placed it to the side, helping him situate himself on the bed as his cheeks shined in the moonlight that flooded in.

The two of you constantly switched places in taking care of one another, something that was rare before everything happened, but almost felt like clockwork as you began acknowledging that aside from Ned and MJ, who you rarely heard from anymore, Peter was really all you had left.

You went to go to the couch, your usual resting place when you felt him hold your hand, his brown eyes swimming with a mess of emotions as he refused to let go.

“Stay,” He whispered, voice lost to his own mind as he almost beseeched, “Please.”

You had slept in the same bed with him before. There was that one time you refused to sleep on his dirty floor and made him begrudgingly share the right side of his mattress with you, or the one time Ned kept on farting and he made him switch places with you, but never when he was this vulnerable.

But you gave him a slow nod, collapsing in when he scotched aside, letting you find your comfort as you edged into his back, the limited space not big enough to house the two of you in the simplest way, but you made it work.

You didn’t know just how much it eased Peter when you relaxed into his chest, or the way his hand subconsciously found its way across your chest in his sleep and the way you turned around at one point, your breathing hitting each other as the two of you slept as though one.

—

After that, sleeping alone just never appealed to you anymore.

If not for his strange warmth, Peter was a comfort you seek out when alone, and being safely tucked away in his arms, however platonic, surely helped ease your thoughts at night that he wasn’t doing anything idiotic.

He had changed dramatically since the boy you once knew.

He was quieter than before, much more reserved. The nights he went away on patrol were terrible because every siren you heard, every time you saw the clock tick past four you wondered if he’d be coming back.

Every time he left he’d promise he’d return, but it might have been your paranoia from before or the fact that you, alongside a handful of other people, actually knew him, and feared he may never come home.

Of course, he never wanted to leave.

Even though you assured him you’d be fine and could do well on your own, he always seemed to contemplate his departure much longer than he used to in his past, glancing at you and at the colorful array of locks at the door.

His apartment was protected, that much you knew. He had learned some things when he spent that awkward night with Bucky and Sam, but they had shown him some ways to make locks safer, and he had shown you how to turn off the safety on the gun he stored away just in case.

He told you to call him if you even got a papercut, and even though you promised you would, you forgot to call him that one time you accidentally cut yourself when making dinner and got an earful when he came back, fretting over your wrapped up finger as you assured him everything was okay.

But he never really went over what to do in case somebody actually broke in, and listening to the loud thudding from behind the door made you wish he had.

You had called 911 and they had told you they’d be here in a quarter to ten, but the clock on your phone was already read 10:05 so you heavily doubted if those sirens were going to come any closer.

You had called Peter multiple times, always going to voicemail, just as you suspected, and with each lock giving way from under the pressure from the people behind the door.

When he got to voicemail once again you let out a small cry, lips trembling as you tried to cover yourself the best you could with the clothes in the closet you laid hidden in.

“Peter,” You let out a yelp when the door finally slammed down and multiple voices could be heard from the outside, “There are people outside and they just came in and I’m in the closet, I-I,” You limited your voice to a whisper as the people on the other side shouted from one another, grumbling angrily to themselves as they realized there wasn’t anything valuable in the small apartment, “I’m scared, I don’t know what to do.” You shakily admitted, the yelling never stopping as they searched through the cabinets and drawers.

“Check in there!” One yelled to the other and you couldn’t do anything as the footsteps got nearer, ending the call as you tied to make yourself as hidden as possible, the door slamming open as one of the men began searching through the clothing, his eye never catching yours as he yelled back to the man behind him, stating that there was nothing here.

You stayed as silent as you could, not even breathing as the man left, going back to flipping the mattress over as they searched for valuables that weren’t there.

You could see through the crack in the door when a flash of red flew by, screams momentary as Spiderman flew in, his masked face looking wildly around, seeing your face peeking out from behind the wide array of the coats as he let out a sigh of relief, not before he gave the two men what he came here to do.

“You touch her?” He snapped, voice lined with fury, something you had never heard before as the two men looked at each other confused.

“Who? We ain’t touch nobody!” The one with the beard yelled, struggling against his webs.

“If my girl has a scratch on her fuckin’ body you gonna tell me who did it?” Peter’s hand flew to the other neck, his grip tightening as he wildly shook his head.

“We didn’t touch anybody! Didn’t even know somebody was here!” He yelled, words slurring together when Peter removed his hand just a bit, assessing your features as you shook your head, silently telling him that you were fine.

It only took a couple of seconds before he had them tied up and thrown away, letting the police do whatever they wanted with them as he came back, shutting the door with his web as he instantly sprinted to where you were, carefully and slowly peeling you out from your hidden corner as he dusted you off, his hands shaking as he looked over your face, almost not believing what was in front of him.

“A-are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you wanna sit down?” His thumb swatted at the dried tear marks, pulling you into his chest as he hugged you as tightly as he could.

“I’m okay, I swear,” Peter let out a relieved sigh, nodding more to himself as he pulled away from you, only to bring you back in when the fear from minutes before settled deep into his bones.

“I got your voicemail and I swear I’ve never run as fast as I did,” he muttered into your hair, “God,” You heard him groan from above you, “Just about felt my heart stop when I didn’t see ya’,” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and you pulled away, giving him a weak chuckle as you tried to wipe away at his tears.

“If I lost you,” He stopped, looking to the side as your hands moved up to touch his jaw, to redirect his focus back onto you, to take the pain away you knew he shouldered so well.

Peter’s hair was messed up from the wind, his cheeks red and tinted with salty tracks, but he had never looked more beautiful than he did now, chocolate eyes finding yours as he felt everything in his stop.

“Y/n, if I lost you I think I’d lose just about everything that mattered to me,” He admitted, his hands never leaving the sides of your face as you whimpered, crying as he kissed the tip of your nose.

“Pete…” You couldn’t finish the sentence as his hands moved down, gently lifting your face up as he placed a kiss to your lips, your breath catching in your throat as Peter kissed away everything you wanted to say.

He stated like tears and blood, but his lips were soft and forgiving. They moved in tandem with yours, greedy and hungry as he lapped away every sort of pain the two of you had felt in these past months.

It didn’t matter that the outside world was slowly catching fire, because here, with Peter kissing you like you were his oxygen and he was a man starved of air, nothing else seemed to matter.

He was rough yet kind, quick as he tried to make sure you were here, that you had been here all along, and you let him move you around, throwing your head back as his lips hungrily moved downward, wet kisses lining your throat as he hungrily marked what was his.

“Peter,” Your hands found purchase in his hair, “Pete, look, I’m okay, I’m okay,” He wanted to almost scoff at the way you thought he was kissing you like his life depended on it just because you were fine.

He moved away, lips bruised, red, and plump as his chest heaved, eyes dark with primal desire as he shook his head, hands gripping your waist with a force strong enough to bruise.

“I know darlin’,” He pressed a chaste kiss to your nose, “I just gotta show you how much you mean to me, can’t wait for a second longer,” And he stuck to his words as he quickly made his way to the bed, laying you down as your hearts intertwined in a peculiar, melancholy yet simple rhythm.

In those months the world forgot Peter Parker, his life was rewritten by somebody who seemed the realize that no matter what sort of power decided to mess with his gloomy, sunken life, you’d always be there.

Peter knew now that love wasn’t what carried you through, or perseverance or the sheer fact alone that you were you and nothing could break the two of you apart, it was that when the world forgot Peter Parker, you could never forget the boy who stole your heart those years ago, the one that made his way into your very mind and refused to leave.

His life would never be the same again, no matter how much he wished it would be. The burden of the world would fall onto his shoulders at the end of the day, a cruel game he’d be tested with at every hour, but he swore that as long as he’d have you, he’d do whatever he could to make this cruel life somewhat sweet again.

—

Summary: This AU is based on an idea from an old prompt in which people have tally marks to represent how many times they have fallen in love. Peter has fallen in love a couple times, but never been loved back. Peter is college age, would say around 21-23, and so is reader and company.

Author’s Note: This has honestly been something that I’ve been wanting to write for a while, and finally found the time to sit down and write it. Though still testing the waters, so please let me know. Would most likely try to be a slow burn, like definitely be more than four parts.

Word Count: 2K

—————————

“Ned, I told you, she isn’t in love with me,” Peter repeated for the eighth time in this same phone conversation, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less.

“Are you sure? I mean it could just take a while for hers to show up soon?”

“Ned, I really don’t want to say this but she did have a red mark, but it wasn’t for me,” he finally caved and explained the one fact he has kept thus far, “I didn’t think she would pull something like this, that’s why she can’t love me…because she loves someone else,” he sighed almost feeling the tally mark was burning his skin.

“Oh, I’m sorry dude,” he said after a long pause.

“I know but it’s not something you should apologize for,” he sighed, trying not to remember the events that occurred that morning.

“You can always come with me and Betty to the movies tonight, we can invite a few more people so you don’t feel like third wheel,” wanting to switch topics to hopefully cheer his friend up.

Peter knew that his friend was really trying to help but he really couldn’t think of leaving his apartment. He really needed to process the whole situation rather than distract himself from it, because he knew when he was alone, he would feel this low again. He looked down at his wrist seeing nothing but black tallies on his wrist, and let out a long sigh.

“Pete, you still there?” pulling him out from his thoughts.

“Yea just thinking about the offer,” even though he already knew that he had the answer.

“How about you think about it and let me know. I don’t want you to feel pressured,” always the supportive friend. “I would cancel on Betty but…“

“Thanks Ned,  don’t think Betty deserves that,” smiling knowing that Ned will always be his ride or die. “Think I’m a sit this one out,” his eyes still focused on his wrist.

“Offer will stands till seven, but if not, I’ll stop by tomorrow with food and can talk about it,” wanting Peter to know that he’ll be there through thick and thin.

“Yea tomorrow would be nice, I’ll text you if anything happens,” affirming that he wasn’t going out tonight, “have a great date Ned.”

“Thanks Pete. Hope to see you soon then,” he said.

Both said their goodbyes, leaving Peter  to let out a long groan of frustration. The palms of his hands pressed against his eyes hoping to keep the tears in that he kept in the whole day. Another black tally mark etched on his skin, great another failed attempted at love.

It was at times like these that wished he never learned about the tally marks, but it’s something unavoidable. He remembers days in which his Aunt May would sit down and talk to him about the tally marks that would one day appear across his wrist and tried to do her best to explain it.

“Alright Peter, so one when you find someone you really love, you’ll one day see a black tally appear right here,” pointing out her own single red tally on her wrist.

“But yours is red,” child Peter pointing out the obvious.

“I know, but if the person you love, loves you back, then it will turn red. Just like mine, yours can start off black, only depending who falls for who first. I can tell you first hand that mine showed up a month before your Aunt May’s did,” puling Peter’s attention from his aunt to his see his uncle setting down his stuff. Ben walked over to the two ruffling Peter’s hair to distract him from giving May a quick kiss.

“Hey it’s not my fault that you fell in love sooner than I did,” she joked.

“Uh, yea it is, you didn’t make it easy for me,” he smiled, “So what is this tally mark talk about?”

“Just curious,” Peter responded, “besides our teacher was going to go over it soon and wanted a head start.”

Peter smiled his tears gaining a bittersweet taste to them but figured that he may as well let out any tears at this moment. He looked at his wrist, nothing but black tallies and he would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt him. He really didn’t get the idea of what was so difficult about loving him, but then again, it’s not like he can force someone to love him. But still he just felt like a below the belt when he saw his now ex-girlfriend, if she even considered herself that, sport a red tally that clearly wasn’t his. Peter let out a loud sigh, thinking it was just to just scour his social media and start to unfollow her but couldn’t force himself to delete old pictures of themselves.

Just a few moments later and Peter heard a large crash outside his door. Peter quickly got up and walked over to the door hearing already someone cussing from the other end.

———————–

You didn’t know whether to be mad at the carpet lining the floor or yourself for thinking it was a good idea to carry more than you actually could  because you really took a dive just now.  You were glad that the boxes you decided to carry were filled with things that wouldn’t break, but you couldn’t help the burn on your cheeks from embarrassment and hope that no one saw your fall.

You started to stack a few things to try to somewhat organize things, and decided now was a good time as any to open your door. You decided to take a few things with you hoping to prevent anyone from seeing your mishap. By the time you went back to your stuff, someone was already organizing your fallen mess.

“Hey, sorry about the mess in front of your door, just give me a couple minutes and it’ll be totally clear,” walking over to said mess.

“it’s no worry at all,” seeing the stranger get up and face you.

Your heart jumped to your chest seeing the face that although you have forgotten about over time, you could never truly forget. “Peter?” knowing full well that there was no doubt about it.

“uh do I know you?” his face really confused because he really couldn’t place your face to a name.

“It’s been a while, but remember me from middle school,” trying not to act like you weren’t even more embarrassed then just a moment before.

You could visually see his mind thinking back to middle school, and finally put the pieces together, “(Y/N)! Oh god, I’m sorry I didn’t remember, trust me have a few things on my mind,” and although you haven’t seen peter in years, you figured he still was the same bashful boy you hadn’t seen in years.

“no worries, I mean what are the odds, that your old middle school friend moves down the hall much less spill most of her stuff in front of your door,” trying not to  make anything more uncomfortable.

“yea guess so,” already sensing things slowly ease, “So you took over the empty loft, I think I heard about someone filling that room,” quickly picking up a few boxes, “ how about I help you out.”

Judging by him carrying boxes you knew that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, “sure guess we can catch up, plus definitely need the extra set of hands,” you said.

You didn’t know what it was about Peter but he really had a way to become instant friends with just about anyone that he met. You really were glad that he still was the same as the Peter you left behind at the end of middle school. It was almost easy being with Peter that it almost made it seem like you guys hadn’t seen each other in years but can already tell that moving in here was a great choice. You found out that he was still friends with Ned and kept in touch with Michelle, which he was already mentioning that he couldn’t wait to tell the others.  you really were glad that he already wanted to plan things out with you.

You would be lying to yourself if you couldn’t deny that although you could recognize Peter, he really had matured into someone very attractive, especially by your standards. The once round cheeks chiseled out into strong edges, small chucky arms and hands became defined and strong by the easiness that he carried large boxes. however, some traits didn’t change at all, his doe brown eyes still had the same glee and his smile still captured the room, at least it did in your opinion. But now with this stance and physique, he really could capture the room.

“So, you moving in all by yourself?” Peter asked bringing in heavier objects. You

“ Yea, just me though if its gets too pricey may ask one of my friends to move in with me,” you replied already seeing that more than half of your stuff was already moved in thanks to Peter’s help, “pretty sure she will like the space as well.”

You looked over at Peter seeing that he was staring at his phone, his default cheery attitude replaced by a saddened look.

“Peter, you alright buddy?”.

“Uh yea, just some,” not knowing the right words to say, or better yet not know the right words that didn’t make him want to cry again.

“Girl trouble,” you finished, doubting someone like him couldn’t be with anyone or have someone he’s interest in.

“Um, something like that,” figured that he didn’t know how to phrase it.

“You don’t have to talk about it, I mean we technically just met,” not wanting to push his limits, because you figured that he would tell you just to be nice.

“It’s not that, I just don’t want one of our few first conversations to be about how my girlfriend got a red tally,”  the words sounding so sour, “my bad I think I don’t think she was my girlfriend to begin with.”

“Red tally, then isn’t that a good thing?” not really understanding the problem.

“Yeah her and whoever she’s interested in, but definitely not for me,” lifting the side of his wrist and showing his black tallies., “just figured she’d be the first you know,” he said melancholy as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey her loss and their loss too, because I can already tell you that you have already been one of my better random male encounters in a while,” trying to cheer him up, though you figured you were failing at it.

Peter let out a small chuckle, “very funny but think I’m going to head out. Ned’s meeting me tomorrow for food, you’re more than welcomed to come,” he said trying to switch to lighter topics, “I’ll knock, see if you’re free ok”

“yea, sounds like a plan and really thanks for the help couldn’t do it without you.”

Peter said a small goodbye and walked out leaving you to finally press your hand against your chest. Your heart was racing, you knew that of course spending time with someone attractive like Peter was going to make you react but it was more. You knew that although you were glad to have met up with peter, but you weren’t sure if it was such a good idea in the long run. You finally decided to look down on your wrist, your eyes locking on your first tally mark. Your fingers traced over the black tally, knowing full well that the person who this tally represents is none other than your new neighbor, Peter Parker.

——————————

End Author’s Note: So that was part 1, please let me know how it is. Still in debate if i should include peter being Spiderman, that is the other main opinion I would want, since I am really on the fence. Once again this is planned out to be a somewhat slowburn.

Peter Parker x Reader

soulmate au: you and your soulmate have tattoos that represent the others interests that tingle when you two are close to one another

Word count: 2,439

Part 1

Peter. The simple two syllable name that belonged to person that made your arm tingle and spark like no other, the name of your soulmate. It felt nice to finally put a name to the person that your tattoo sleeve was based on. But you strongly wised that you could meet the face of your soulmate, but when he was Spiderman you can partly understand why he didn’t want to.  

You still couldn’t believe that you had met Spiderman, and to top it off…he was also your soulmate. The only way you could even believe that last night truly happened, was the small peony and gardenia that showed up on your wrist.

You mindlessly traced over the small tattoo, still remembering the tingles that you felt by just being near Peter. Your soulmate’s interest was inked across your skin, science and Spiderman was his, but now seeing these small flowers made your heart race. You wanted to believe that it meant that Peter had gained an affinity for flowers, like you, but you deep down these small flowers were meant for you.

That thought alone, made your face heat up and heart race like as if you had ran a marathon. All day at school you wanted to find your soulmate, but you needed to respect Peter’s choices, you knew that the reason that he kept himself away was because of his secret identity, but that still didn’t shake your temptation to finally meet your soulmate, not when he was so close to you.

You were lying on your bed still trying to process everything. When you heard a small pat against your window, you thought nothing against it, thinking it was just the typical Queens prank, but when the small sound repeated itself, you finally turned, greeted by a beautiful bouquet that was set in your fire escape.

A bouquet of red and blue peonies, with beautiful gardenias and forget me nots. It was beautiful arrangement. You went to your window, opening it to pull in the bouquet, already getting the scent of freshly picked flowers. A soft expression grew on your face, as you realized who sent these flowers. You let out a small giggle, failing at hiding your smile.

Your arm started to shoot small tingles, feeling the tattoos spark to life, letting you know that Peter was close. You looked up seeing none other than the familiar white visors of Spiderman, startling you taking a step back, causing you to lose your balance in the process.

You were already expecting feeling your bum to hit the floor; however the only thing you felt was a warm hand encase your wrist as he pulled you back, letting you regain your balance. You were face to face, or rather face to chin with Spiderman as he was hanging upside down from the stairs of the fire escape. Spidey let out a soft chuckle.

“glad you found this amusing,” as a small huff left your lips, you tried to look annoyed at him, but you knew that you were failing since it only made him laugh a bit more.

“Hey is that anyway to thank the person that just saved you from your fall?” his face leaning closer to yours, but you weren’t going to back out, not wanting to see how much of an effect he had on you.

“Thanks by the way,” smiling up at Peter, holding the bouquet closer to your chest.

Peter almost promised himself to get you a bouquet daily if it meant that you would look this beautiful and pure every single time. He shook his head trying to remove the thought the head, because right now he was Spiderman not the easily flustered and shy Peter Parker.

“Your welcome, I mean I couldn’t let my soulmate fall,” the term sounding so foreign from his lips, still not believing that he was able to talk to you.

Soulmate. That word made your insides fill with what felt like butterflies, making you further hide into the flowers, wanting to hide how flustered he was making you. You looked at anywhere but him, memorizing the various hues the petals, trying to calm yourself by looking at the thing that never fails to center you, but it wasn’t working when you remembered that it was Peter that gave these flowers to you.

“I meant thank you for the flowers,” you whispered for gaze still on the flowers, because you knew that if you looked up at him, may not have been able to speak without stuttering.

You heard the thud against the stairs, the sparks going crazy on your arm. His gloved hand traced up your tattoos, the skin underneath feeling like fire, but you couldn’t push him away, in fact you craved to feel his bare fingers against your skin. His fingers traced down your arm, landing on the new flower tattoos that appeared, the sparks now running through your whole body.

“This one is new,” bringing your hand up to further inspect it, “I don’t remember seeing this one the other night.” The white eye visors zoning in on the tattoo.

“Because it wasn’t,” you whispered, almost thinking that maybe he hadn’t heard it.

Your breathing became more shallow and quicker, everything about Peter becoming overwhelming. You didn’t think someone that literally came into your life just the other day, could make your heart feel like this. You could honestly admit that there was something that drew you to him, but you weren’t sure if this natural connection you felt with him was because you knew that he was your soulmate or the reason it felt so natural to see yourself with him is what made him your soulmate to begin with.

His gloved hand, lifted your head, letting him fully see the aftermath of his presence, “I woke up with spider webs and a small spider on mine,” he whispered. You touched his arm wondering what his arm looked like; wanting to see the tattoos underneath, but the need to see his face was greater.

“I bet they look beautiful,” you whispered.

“They are, I mean, only makes sense, since they take after you.”

This time it was Peter that looked away, not sure where he got the courage to say that out loud, but he was telling the truth.  He knew that he was taking too long, he only really meant to drop off the flowers and leave, but he couldn’t pull away from you, not when you were as entrancing as hidden forests and meadows that you hear in fairytales. This made sense because he felt that should he ever be with you it would be like a fairytale come true.

He really wanted to meet you as Peter Parker, then he could keep his Spiderman secret from you, but things were not in his favor. when you had met his alter ego first. That would be a regret he would have to carry, because it was his fault for not doing something sooner and purposely avoiding you at school.  

“Do you have time to talk?”

Your face quickly shot up, not expecting him to actually stay longer than just a few moments. You nodded, taking any chance to be with him longer.

“But do you mind if we talk on the roof?” knowing that it was a safer, since you went sure if the walls would be able to hide his voice.

“I’ll meet you up there,” already swinging up to the roof to talk to you.

You quickly changed into something warmer and told your parents that you were going to tend to your garden, knowing you wouldn’t get questioned over it. You ran up the stair and through the door, your lungs and thighs burning, to spot peter sitting against the ledge, much like the previous night.

You slowly approached; wanting to calm down your racing heart, that you knew wasn’t from running up the stairs. Taking a deep breath you sat next to him, not sure what to do next.

“Did you put the flowers in vase?”

“Yea, they are really pretty Peter,” playing with your hands, trying to keep them from touching him again, “but why did you get them?

“I wanted to apologize,” eying that Peter hands were fidgeting with his web shooters.

You turned to look at him, a puzzled look on your face as you tried to think of what he could possibly be apologizing for, “you don’t have to apologize for your small patch up the other night,” it was the only thing came to mind.

“That’s not what I’m apologizing for,” his voice soft, showing how vulnerable he really felt.

“Then what are you apologizing for?” turning your body to face his.

Peter balled his fist, unsure of what do to next. You wanted to ask so much, but right now you needed him to break the silence. You placed your hand on his fist that immediately loosened and relaxed. His hand slowly turned, letting your fingers slip between his, the sparks now lighting up your whole body by just his simple touch. The bustling sound of the lively city muted around you, everything focusing on this moment and him. You intertwined your hands, expecting him to pull away, but he didn’t, instead he gave your hand a light squeeze.  

“I’m apologizing for everything, for never talking to you as Peter, for avoiding you at school, for not being able to give you the relationship you want. I’m apologizing for everything that comes with me being your soulmate,” his hand squeezing yours needing something to anchor himself. He was hurting because he knew that despite wanting to be there for you, this was as close as he could allow himself to be, and he yearned to be closer.

“Peter I told you, you don’t need to apologize,” resting your forehead on his shoulder, instinctively placing a small kiss on his suit.

“No you don’t get it. I had many chances to talk to you, to get to know you as Peter, but I never did. And now…I can’t,” his voice cracking in between words.

Peter’s arms brought you on his lap, pulling you into a hug. Your world becoming scented with shampoo and a hint of sweat, memorizing the scent that belonged to Peter, you just wanted to burn every detail about him into memory. You hugged him back, making him feel even smaller in your arms, and even more vulnerable than ever, hinting you that he was one that rarely showed his true emotions.  One of his hands lifted the bottom portion of his mask, letting him press a kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m not mad at you Peter, I can’t get mad at you because given your situation right now, I would probably do the same thing,” nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck, seeing stands of curly brown hair, that you couldn’t help but toy with. “But can I ask you something Peter?”

He nodded, his hold on you not loosen, wanting to hold you as close as he could, because right now you were what was keeping him from breaking down even more.

“Why did you never approach me at school, especially if you knew I was your soulmate? Did you not want me with you?” your hand clutching his suit, making Peter feel even more because you felt hurt, and he was the reason for it.

“I did, I still do. I wanted to talk to you so many times, but I didn’t think you would’ve liked me?”  He admitted, biting down his lips to keep himself from saying anything else.

It was getting harder to breathe, and it wasn’t because of his hold on you, but rather by how overwhelming his raw emotions felt. You could feel how exposed he was, his heart was on his sleeve letting you peak at the person that resided within the suit and you knew there was still so much more he was hiding.

“Peter, why would you think that? We’re soulmates for a reason,” you whispered as your fingertips brushed against his exposed skin of his neck, making Peter’s own heart beat faster.

“Because I’m not cool or important like Spiderman. I’m a nobody; I’m a nerd that gets made fun and bullied constantly, I only have two friends, and constantly outlasted, I’m not like you (Y/N), I’m not popular or well liked, I’m just nothing. I didn’t want you to know that your soulmate was a loser or worse, that you wouldn’t want me because you deserve so much better,” his voice slightly chocking at the last part, and trying so hard to keep his lips from quivering.  

Your heart was breaking, this was too much raw emotion for you to handle. You cupped his face, before leaning to press a kiss against his soft cheek. Your single kiss became kisses, feathering his face with small kisses. You felt the underneath tense up as his jaw tightening, almost to keep himself from tearing up.

“Count your blessings, not your flaws,” each word punctuated with a small chaste kiss before pulling away, “I told you, you are deserving of a soulmate. And no matter what you say, I could never be ashamed of you or anything, even if you weren’t Spiderman,” you forehead pressing against his. “Did you really think I would reject you Peter?”

“No, but I couldn’t help but think about it over and over. You deserve so much more (Y/N),” he whispered, his hands covering yours, pulling down to press a kiss in the center of your palm.

“I wish you could see how wrong you are, because when it comes to the two of us, I think it’s me that got lucky, not you,” your thumbs caressing his face, toying with the edge of his mask.

You weren’t sure how long you two stayed like that, it could have been minutes or hours because time didn’t seem to matter, not when you were in his arms. Being either Peter felt as easy as breathing, it didn’t require any thinking; it didn’t require effort, it just felt natural. You thought it was ridiculous when you heard stories when soulmates meeting and instantly falling in love, but right now, it didn’t seem so ridiculous. Your heart never once slowed down since it was in his presence, the butterflies you felt never stopped, and in fact they felt that they were more alive than ever.

“Peter, can I please know who you are, can I see the person underneath the mask?”

so yea this is part 2, really hope it wasnt that bad. so yea, really know what you all think. i honestly didnt think that people would have liked it as much as they did. i was honestly expecting a few notes but i saw that it finally hit the 1k mark i was like ‘woah’, so thanks it really helped me push through. hope to have part 3 up by the end of the week but not for certain. also sorry for any grammar mistakes

tag list: @parkerbpete @castellagreen @spideytrxsh @seargantbcky @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw @winchester-lover95 @ladysnowren @smollittlebean @clairesrainbow@pinkynerd@bigbangt1963@philipshaaayyyy@randomhp-twstuff@irregular-fascinations@skymoonandstardust@lisalis101@bees-are-more-important@emrysaaryn@themaddesthattter@vespertinelunacy @seafrost-fangirl@psychael@notawarriorjustyet@dianileesawsomeness@meganliiz@slightly-depressed-idiot@pizzypaste@rem-darling@superwholockyooooo@twilight-loveer

Peter Parker x Reader

Request:  Hey do you think that you can write a peter Parker x reader where the reader and peter are friends and goes under some anesthesia after some sort of surgery. After the surgery peter say some really fluffy things to the reader while she records it. (anon)

really hope you liked the request

tags:@parkerbpete@rosaetum@ladysnowren@lunastarwatcher

word count: 2,739 (i can’t seem to write short fics)

“You sure you’re not in any pain Peter? I can always go get the nurse if you want,” your voice filled with worry as your best friend was getting prepped for his cast for his broken arm.

“No, I’m fine (Y/N), I can feel it working. My arm doesn’t even hurt that much,” trying to calm you down.

“You sure?” still wanting to make sure he was ok.

Peter nodded, squeezing your hand slowly calming you down. You both waited till the nurse would roll you into the room where they would take x rays and apply his cast.

“Are you sure you don’t want Aunt May in here instead?” your hand interlacing with his.

“No, don’t think she would be able to handle this,” trying his hardest to not show how much of an effect your touch was having on him.

Peter was starting to think that maybe Ned would have been a better choice, because he couldn’t he wasn’t sure he could trust himself once the anesthesia kicks in. He’s seen the videos of people admitting some personal secrets, and last thing he wanted was to admit his love for you, since he wasn’t sure it would cause problems between you two.

You and Peter had been best friends since 6th grade, somewhere along the way you had stolen his heart, but this point he would have willingly given it to you. Simple touches made his face heat up, warm smiles made his breath stop; you holding his hand made his heart explode, everything about you just sent his body on overdrive.

“Thanks (y/n),” you don’t know how much you mean to me. That’s what he wanted to admit but he doubted that he ever could, because he would be sure to get tongue tied in the process.

“I’d do anything for you Peter,” your smile lightening up your face that instantly made his heart pound against his chest.  

It had to be illegal to be that adorable, and what’s worse is you had no clue how much of an effect you had on him. He could hear Ned’s voice in the back of his head, telling him to admit his feelings for you. He would always refuse stating that he needed to find the right moment to tell you.

“(y/n), there’s something that I should tell you…,” feeling like this was the best moment to tell you.

You nodded, seeing a slight change in his attitude.

“I-”

“Peter Parker we are ready for you downstairs,” the nurse knocked as she let herself in.

Peter quickly shut his mouth, already feeling his face heat up with embarrassment and anxiety that made him squeeze your hand, as his jaw becoming stiff. You cupped his hand, pulling him from overworking mind, his chocolate eyes locked with yours, seeing that they were starting to relax, his breath starting to become more even.

“You’re going to be fine Peter, I’ll be here the whole way,” giving him the smile that never fails to make him weak.

Peter bites his lip feeling slightly better; he squeezes your hand offering his own smile in return before turning to the nurse, “is it ok if she comes with me?”

The nurse smiled, “yes, as long as she follows instructions, your aunt is still going to be waiting outside, so if you need to, you can also step outside,” referring that last part towards you.

“Thank you,” both yours and Peter’s mood lifting.

“So I’m just here to give Peter his administration of a general anesthesia before the we take him that way it starts taking affect when they start with everything downstairs,” as she went with the medication administration process and possible side effects.

You followed them as they took him to a new room, starting to see the medication take effect as he started to relax, a soft smile forming, as the medic team worked around him.

“Is this supposed to happen?” not knowing what to expect.

“yes, we gave him something a bit strong, since they may have to realign his broken arm a few times till they get it right,” the doctor explained, “however we are going to ask to step outside while we take the x rays alright?” as they started the first set of x rays.

You nodded, easily being able to remove your hand from his holds, but didn’t notice the way his hand followed yours, Peter not wanting to be away from you.

A few moments later you were called back in after the x-rays were done. The moment you walked in Peter’s eyes looked glazed over, a goofy smile on his face. However you were more distracted by the white plaster that was being mixed, while the nurse was starting to stabilize his arm.

“Hey Peter,” sitting on the bedside chair, as they explained that they were able to align his arm perfectly in the first try.

“Doctor have you met my girlfriend?” his voice slightly slurred but still had the typical enthusiasm that you have grown to love.

Girlfriend?You were sure that he’s never mentioned a girlfriend before to you before. You seriously thought about texting Ned to ask him if Peter was keeping secrets from you, especially when Ned knew your feelings toward Peter.

“No I don’t think I have Peter?” he smiled as he starting applying the cast, while the nurse kept his arm stable.

“Well she’s right here, isn’t she beautiful. Most beautiful girl in all Middletown…all Queens,” his smile lighting up the whole room as he looked over at you, “and she’s mine!” dragging out that last part in almost a sing song way.

Your face instantly heated up, eyes wide that you were pretty sure that you looked like a deer in front of a headlight look. You his girlfriend? You beautiful?

“Peter I’m not your girlfriend,” your face feeling like it was burning up, not being able to look Peter in the eye, but couldn’t help but hold his hand.

“Are you sure we aren’t dating?” his eyes now focused on your hands, “I mean we hold hands all the time, you sleep over at my home, you braid my hair! I think we’re dating.”

“No you’ve never asked me out,” trying to keep your composure.

“Ok, (Y/N) will you go out with me?!” his voice getting louder with each word, “I promise to make you so happy, you won’t regret it!”

“I don’t think so Peter,” your heart now hammering against your chest, even though you’ve imagined him saying those words countless times, nothing could really prepare you to actually hear them, even if he wasn’t fully himself.

“But why not?” his face reminding you of a child who was refused his favorite toy, “I love you (Y/N), don’t you love me?” his voice coming out low.

You could hear the soft chuckles of the med staff, finding this moment amusing, not helping with the embarrassment that you were feeling, “Peter, pretty sure putting her in the spot isn’t going to win her love,” his nurse stated.

“But you don’t get it, I love her sooooo much! She is so beautiful, and kind, and amazing. When she holds my hand, I never want to let go, and she’s so beautiful. I sometimes imagine calling her (Y/N) Parker, but that’s not till after we graduate college,” his words coming at high speeds that you almost wondered if you heard everything correctly. “And when she’s in my room, she may not know it but I take pictures of her all the time. And when she smiles it’s just wow, her laugh is just whoa, (Y/N) is just something else. ”

Your face felt like it was on fire but try as you couldn’t help but smile at what Peter was saying to you. You knew that Peter may not mean the things that he was currently saying, but still it was nice to hear them. You couldn’t help to wish that he really meant it.

“Hey (Y/N),” his hand shaking yours, you looked over at Peter hoping that he wouldn’t notice how flustered he was making you, “I love you soooo much! I would make you so happy if you gave me a chance.”

You smiled because you knew that he was saying the truth. One of the reasons that you fell so hard for Peter was because he was everything you wanted in someone: patient, kind, understanding, and so many qualities that you weren’t even sure that you could list off. Falling in love with Peter was as easy as breathing, and right now, this felt even easier than that.

“I know you would,” softly smiling at Peter, seeing the pink tint to Peter’s face glad that you weren’t the only one feeling flustered, “but we aren’t dating right now.”

“Well we can change that (Y/N), just date me” his voice getting louder with each passing word, “make me the happiest guy in all new York (Y/N)!”

You sighed, “Ok Peter I’ll date you,” knowing that there was no harm in playing along, it’s not like he would remember this later, right?

Instantly his eyes lit up, a large grin forming on his face, “she said yes! Doctor she said yes, I’m dating (Y/N)! My dream came true,” the doctor wrapping his cast in red and blue, as he cheered on and so did the nurses, “see even they are happy for us!”

Your heart was hammering against your chest, at the way he felt so happy on asking you out. The last thing that you expected was for him to bring your intertwined hands and kiss the back of your hand, “I love you so much (Y/N)!” you couldn’t help but smile at him, “gosh I love your smile so much, I wish I could take a picture of it right now.”

You were lost for words, how do you even respond to that. You weren’t sure if the right thing to do was to play along, or correct him.

“So we are going to keep him here for a while longer, till the effects wear off a bit,” the doctor explained, “I’m just going to step outside and explain the care and follow up appointment to his aunt,” as he stepped outside to find aunt may.

“Babe?” bringing back your attention to Peter, “do you not love me?”

“Peter, of course I do!” not wanting to see him upset like earlier, “why wouldn’t I love you?”

“Then why don’t you say it? Did I do something wrong?”

You really were stuck. Of course you loved Peter, but you honestly meant your feelings, unlike Peter, because for all you knew this could be a somewhat delusion from what they administered to him. However this could be the only time that you could freely admit your feelings to him, without any consequences of ruining your friendship.

“No Peter, I truly am in love with you, have been for a while. But I don’t think you are going to remember this when your back to normal, but yes I love you dearly,” you leaned and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “Don’t you ever doubt that.”

“I wouldn’t I remember my dream girl saying she loves me,” he said with a saddened face.

“I love you so much Peter, but you aren’t going to remember this later,” you explained.

“Can I see your phone?” his demeanor constantly changing.

You were surprised, just a moment ago he was a sad small child now; you could literally see the small gears in his mind working. He had a plan and you weren’t sure what he could be thinking in his state of mind. “Yea,” pulling out from your back pocket and unlocking it for Peter.

He let go of your hand to hold the phone, as a small smirk formed on his face, “are you sure we weren’t dating before this?” tilting the phone in your direction to let you see a picture of Peter of your and Peter showing eating a giant slice of New York style pizza. You were embarrassed, that you instinctively went to reach for your phone, but even in this state, his reflexes were better than yours. “Hey I’m not done yet,” he said as he started scrolling through your phone, and opening the camera app.

You were a bit confused, if he wanted to take a selfie, he could have told you and you could have taken it instead. However Peter switched from camera to record, seeing the small red circle at the corner as the timer started.  

“Is this thing recording?” his eyes squinting, and instantly opening wide when he realized that he was, “ok future Peter, or present Peter? I honestly don’t know which one you will be, but that’s beside the point. So I am here to tell you that you need to man up and ask (Y/N) out, I mean just look at her,” switching the camera to you, making you instantly cover up your face, “I mean she just said that she loves us, well me…us? I’m getting sidetracked, but yes ask her out! She’s prefect, also I mentioned the photo album we have of her, so make sure you deny it exists! Also she gave me a kiss, take that future Peter!” his mood changing as fast as he was talking.

You let out a laugh, he really was something else, “see even her laugh is beautiful, you have to promise me that you will do anything possible to make her laugh,” his eyes meeting yours, “seriously Peter we need to make her ours! Also we need more pictures of her smiling,” failing to whisper that last part to himself, “(Y/N) if you are watching this with future me, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! I would blow you a kiss with my other hand, but it’s sort of broken?” but still attempted to give the camera a kiss, “and if Peter says that he was lying about our feelings for you, he is lying. Bad Peter! You should see our notebooks, your name is written all along the margins, it’s embarrassing if you ever see them, but you won’t, so it doesn’t matter,” earning him another of your laughs, “I’m sorry future me, I wasn’t supposed to tell her”

You laughed even more, “Ok (Y/N) you have to promise me that you will forget that last part?”

“Forget what?” Already playing along to his request.

“Forget that I write your name all over my notebooks and have photos of you everywhere,” he said with a warm smile.

You nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on Peter’s forehead, making sure to comb through his chocolate curls, bringing back Peter’s bright smile on his face, almost reminding you of a puppy.

“Take that future me! She kissed me! Twice!” as he pointed at the camera at himself, knowing that he was going to be so red in the face when he sees the video later.

“I could kiss future Peter too,” wondering what sort of reaction you would get.

“No! I mean yes, no! Is it possible to be jealous of myself? Because I feel jealous,” he said, forgetting that he was recording, “but you will kiss me later again right?”

“Only if you ask me out Peter!”

“But I asked you out just a few minutes ago,” momentarily dropping the phone, “you’re my girlfriend, and I am the luckiest boyfriend in all of Queens! Plus that’s the point of this video, show it to me when I’m ‘normal’, even though I feel completely fine right now,” as he reached for your hand. “Promise me you’ll show me the video, maybe then I’ll find the courage to ask you out,” he stated.

“You really do love me Peter?” part of you still doubting him.

“Of course I do! I love you so much (Y/N), I love you! I love you, and if my arm wasn’t like this, I would pull you and kiss you soooo much!”

“You’re going to be so embarrassed when I show this to you later,” you said reaching for your phone to end his recording.

“No I won’t! I still can’t believe you doubt my love!” reaching for your hand.

“Well see later, lover boy.” Kissing his head once more.

“Take that future Peter! Also…sign my cast! Can’t wait till I ask you out again later!”

so yea second peter work done. hopefully the person that requested this liked how it turned out, no way of knowing since it was an anon. also for those asking i will continue Inked,however with the way I’ve planned it dont think its going to be so happy. really just trying to get the hang of his character, hopefully i’m doing him justice

Peter Parker x Reader

soulmate au: you and your soulmate have tattoos that represent the others interests that tingle when you two are close to one another

word count: 2,273

A/N this is honestly written for @parkerbpete, since she inspires me to write so much, like i love her work and ugh, she is my writing senpai. i love her and yea, hope you all like

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Ink stained across your arm forming an intricate sleeve, a tattoo filled with things your soulmate was interested in, that would fluctuate from time to time. You remember that before it was filled with electron diagrams, pi and other math symbols, chemical structural formulas, and things you couldn’t recognize, all coming together to form a science themed tattoo sleeve, but now all that changed. Some tattoos fading to make space for your soulmate’s newest interests, which mainly consisted of the newest superhero to join the scene, Spiderman. Spidey’s logo was now on your bicep, a small avenger’s logo on the base of your wrist, a crest that matched the iron man suit, and spider webs lacing the new tattoos with the old. But the one thing that never changed was the writing that surrounded your wrist that was written in their writing, “always be yourself”

You had the vague idea that your soulmate attended Middletown with you, since the only time the writing on your wrist seemed to tingle, was walking down the corridors of school. But you always thought against finding them, having the idea that they were better off without you. Plus after spending hours staring at your tattoos, you felt that you two would have nothing in common. You may have been smart enough to attend Middletown; however your interests were more inclined to herbs and plants, not science.

So you made the decision to not look for your soulmate, because if they didn’t bother looking for you, then it only proves they didn’t need you in their life. So you would just continue walking down the halls, knowing that someone at school could also feel the tingling sensation on their arm.

You were gathering your supplies to tend your rooftop garden before you headed to sleep, however the last thing that you expected was to see Spiderman on your rooftop. The red and blue hero was resting against the brink ledge, as he clutched his arm, seeing a few gashes on the suit.  

“Spiderman are you ok?” setting down your supplies.

A groan escaped his lips, his body trying to become alert, but couldn’t with how tired he felt. He shook his head, “no, but I’ll be fine in a bit” trying to sound heroic but failing in the process.

You quickly went over to the small first aid kit, knowing that although it wasn’t built for serious injuries, there were still supplies for simple cuts and injuries from when you would nick yourself while tending your garden, “I seriously doubt that.”

As you approached Spiderman, small tingles ran up your arm, as the writing on your wrist started to feel warmer with each passing step. Your heart sped up knowing the reason why your arm was tingling, but right now his injuries mattered more than asking him if he was your soulmate. You gently set your supplies down, being mindful of where he was hurting and ignoring his intense gaze. Your hands were slightly trembling, anxious of being so close to him that you started to question if you could do this. You weren’t sure if you were nervous because you were near Spiderman or near your soulmate. Your licked your lips and emptying your thoughts, reaching out for his right arm, and the moment you touched it, you felt the warm spark run across your arm, confirming the small doubts in your mind, this really was your soulmate.

You didn’t do anything to call attention to it, and focused on the gashes on his suit, seeing the scarlet liquid staining not only the suit but the pale skin underneath. You reached for gauze and peroxide, “this may sting a bit,” the bottle still trembling in your hand, reminding yourself to keep calm.

You looked up at Spidey, wanting some sort of confirmation that he was ok with this. He nodded, and you started to pour the liquid over his wound. A hiss escaped his lips, as the water met the raw skin. You gently started to pat the area dry, making sure that the wound was clean before you moved on to the next. Your whole right arm never stopped sending the small sparks, that you wondered how he could keep his composure, when you were almost a nervous wreck. You looked up at him, meeting the visors that covered his eyes, but it didn’t lessen the speed of your heart or the warmth that was spreading across your face.

“That’s a nice sleeve,” his voice finally filling the silence that surrounded both of you.

“Thanks…it’s based on my soulmate,” your voice coming out as a whisper.

His gloved hand traced over the writing, before he started to travel up the rest of the sleeve, making your heart go into overdrive and your skin so sensitive to his touch, making you bite down on your lower lip, but you didn’t dare ask him to stop. “I know,” his voice no longer sounding hurt, “my arm is filled with flowers,” his hand now tracing over one spider webs.

You continued cleaning; doing everything you could to not be distracted by his touch, though that was easier said than done. You slightly leaned forward, “(Y/N),” you whispered, your fingers lingering on his skin, seeing ink that you assumed to be a flower petal. You tried desperately to distract yourself from the gentle touch he was giving.  

“(Y/N),” the simple word, coming out almost as soft as flower petals that you weren’t ready for, “you feel it too right?” you nodded, exactly knowing what he was referring to. “Never thought I would meet my soulmate like this,” an empty laugh escaping his lips.

“I never thought my soulmate would be Spiderman,” you said in return, not noticing the way your hand instinctively sought out his, and not flinching away when he slowly interlaced his hand with yours.  

His thumb rubbed circles around yours, feeling a slight tremble in his hand as well. A small smile formed on your lips, glad that you weren’t the only one that was nervous.

“I’m sorry for being your soulmate,” his voice losing his typical ‘hero’ tone, but in its place was a saddened beaten voice, instantly making your smile disappear.

“Hey,” your free hand reaching up to gently cup his cheek. Spidey leaned into your touch, making your heart melt more than it already was, “don’t count your flaws, everyone is deserving of a soulmate. Especially you, for all the trouble you go through to keep everyone safe,” squeezing his hand as you leaned in to him, wanting to do anything to help but not knowing where to start.

Spidey’s forehead pressed against yours. You were met with the white and black eye visors that you felt that if you stared hard enough, you could start to see something that resembled eyes hidden underneath. Everything seemed to blur around you, nothing else really mattered besides him right now, almost as if time stopped around you. You almost had to remind yourself to breathe, something about him hypnotizing you, to not pull away. You willingly let yourself get caught in his webs. Spidey leaned in, making you worry that he may be able to hear your how hard your heart was pounding in your chest.

“Thank you, I really couldn’t have asked for a kinder soulmate,” his hand still toying with yours.

Your face was aflame, and try as you might you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, that they only thing you could do to hide your smile was to cover it with your hand. He started to stand, instantly sending you to your feet, remembering that you were actually hear to help his wounds. You aided him up, wanting to make sure that he was ok to even be walking.  

“You’re going to be ok right?” just wanting some reassurance.

“Yea, I’ll be fine (Y/N),” still not used to hearing your name coming from him, “what’s your favorite flower?”, momentarily confusing you, not expecting such a random question. .

“Gardenia and peonies,” looking around as they were your most abundant flowers in your collection. You quickly went to pick a red peony; you reached for his hand and placed the small flower in his larger hand. Spidey looked down at the flower, holding it as if it was precious glass, not wanting any harm to come to the small flower.

“They’re beautiful,” he answered, stalling for one more second with you, but knew that he had already spent too much time here; last thing he wanted was for you to be in harm’s way because of him. He stood on the ledge, his eyes focused on you. He wanted to stay, finally meeting his soulmate, there were so many things that he wanted to say and ask but right now was not the moment, “peter,” he said knowing that the least he could do is give you his name, there were far too many peters that the odds of you finding out were slim.

“Hmm?”

“My name, its peter,” he repeated.

“Peter,” this time it was his turn to have his world shaken with a simple word, glad that he was wearing a mask to hide his goofy smile. You repeated it once more, tempting Peter to stay even more than he originally wanted to. “Take care of yourself ok peter,” a warm smile on your face that only made Peter further fall for you.  

“I promise,” he answered, taking a quick jump off the balcony making his way over to you once more. He couldn’t help himself as he lifted the edge of his mask, letting you see the plump pink lips and strong jawline. You thought he was going to lift the mask higher but before you could even ask what he was doing, his lips landed on your forehead.

Your eyes were wide open, taking in his soft lips against your skin, the way his hands gently held your face in place. Your hands covered his, letting your eyes close, enjoying this feeling of being cherished. You smiled as you finally realized why finding your soulmate was a big deal, because in this short meeting, you could already feel something so special with Peter that you haven’t felt with other of your exes.  He finally broke the kiss, your hands instantly clutching his, not wanting him to leave, wanting to be selfish and just stay a few moments longer.

Peter pulled his face away, looking down seeing your doe like eyes, and haze look in them, the way your lips looked so tempting to him, wanting to know if they would look just as beautiful after he has kissed you senseless. He wanted to stay but right now he could only burn the image of you to memory because after tonight he wasn’t sure when he would allow himself to be this close to you, despite every fiber in his being telling him that he belonged to you.

“I should go,” knowing that was the last thing that Peter wanted to do.

“I guess,” still not loosening the hold that you had on his hands, because that was the last thing you wanted too.

Peter couldn’t resist, as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, feeling the corner of his mouth brush against yours. You were officially caught in his webs, because that small taste left you tempting for more, but you weren’t sure when you would ever get to be like this with him. You finally let go of his hands, and he slowly started to lower the mask, your heart still pounding in your chest.

“I’m sorry if I can’t meet you in real life…I just want to,” not wanting to sound selfish for not meeting you in school.

“You just want to keep me safe,” knowing exactly where he was going with that.

“Yea,” he responded flatly.

“I understand, but did you know I was your soulmate before tonight?”

“Yea, I did. I was so ecstatic when I found out that the most beautiful girl in Middletown was also my soulmate,” failing to his small moment of happiness.

“I’m not beautiful,” trying to hide your smile.

“You are to me,” he whispered.

“Good night peter,” you whispered, not knowing how much more your heart could take.

“Night (Y/N). I promise to keep you safe as both Spidey and peter,” knowing that this was the most he could give you.

“Try to stay safe, for me,” making his heart ache, because he could feel the sincerity of your words.

He nodded, not trusting himself with words right now, as he finally jumped off your roof, hearing the tip of his webs as he acrobated into the sky. Your ran to the edge wanting to catch a last glimpse of your soulmate, seeing him further disappear into the night, as well as the sparking feeling in your arm start to fade. In those few moments, Peter had stolen a piece of your heart and left a part of his. You stared off in the direction that he left, only to be brought back to reality when something wet drop on your hand. You looked up, seeing not a single cloud in the sky, as another drop hit the back of your hand.

You brought your hand up, feeling the bittersweet tears, because you realized how true Peter’s words were, the best way to keep you safe, was for you two to never be together. He was your soulmate, one that you could never be with no matter how much you both wanted, it was his price of being a hero.

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A/N so yea still not sure if i should continue with this or not. like i could just leave it here. but it could easily make itself into a small mini series, but if it does, im afraid that i may not feel the motivaiton to finish it. so yea, please let me know what you think

AND JEN ILY, REALLY HOPE I MADE YOU PROUD!!!

Finals Season - Peter Parker

It’s that time of the year again…Spider-Man stops by to help you out.

AN: for all of y'all studying hard, we’re with you, ‘til the end of the line

You knew the brain is not technically a muscle. You knew that because, while studying, you had read about the attributes of the nervous system and muscle tissue ten times over. You were familiar with the functions and shapes of a neuron’s dendrites and the various fibers that comprise the various sinew types. You were well-versed in how the nerves connected, how they told the muscles to move. You knew it all, all for your Anatomy & Physiology final.

With a groan, you let your head slip from your hands and land softly against the thick notebook spread out on your desk. Maybe, if you pressed your forehead hard enough against the pages, you could absorb the knowledge you needed through osmosis. It was tempting to try. Your eyes felt heavy, weighed down by the draw of a nap, a break. Though, the second you closed your eyes, the dark that met you filled with diagrams of skeletal structures and tendons. When you managed to push through those, you were met with mathematical equations and the names of literary devices, every other concept you memorized for your every other final.

It was dizzying. Worst of all, there was no rest from it as, when you opened your eyes, your study guides greeted you. They taunted you, really, at this point. The words and numbers and terms swirled together into a puddle of mush that, despite all the power behind your neurons, your brain lacked the strength to decipher. In a vain, desperate attempt to escape the scorching sneering of your class materials, you closed your eyes once more.

Yet, only for a moment.

Just as the ghosts of subjects studied past began to haunt your headspace, there was a tapping at your bedroom window. Immediately, you lifted your head and eyed the glass. The dark outside was all you saw until the grogginess cleared, foggy tendrils pulling away from your vision. Then, you saw the familiar tones of red and the pair of buggish, white eyes.

Any lingering doubt about the masked man at your window faded when he lifted a gloved hand and eagerly waved. At the sight, a small laugh slipped from your mouth; though, you smothered it quickly to not alert your housemates to your newest guest.

“Shh, hold on,” you whispered as you stood from your chair and padded over. Quickly, with fumbling, nervous fingers, you unlatched the window lock. You pushed up and a blast of cool, December air hit your face, followed by the softer touch of a gloved hand.

“Hi, you,” came Peter’s voice, muffled ever-so-slightly by his mask. Despite the obstruction, you could hear the upwards tilt of a smile in his words.

“Hi,” you replied, trying to mirror his chipper tone. It failed, evidenced by how Peter’s hand slipped from your cheek and his head cocked to the side.

“What is it?”

You let out a dramatic sigh and pulled away from the window sill. Defeated, you collapsed back in your chair, watching as Peter clambered inside, shut the window, and drew the curtains. He turned to look at you, dropping his backpack on the floor.

“Are you okay?” He darted over to you, hands outstretched, rubbing your shoulders before you started to shake your head. Peter leaned away to look into your eyes.

“Finals,” you groaned, gesturing towards your desk full of papers. “I’ve been studying for…well, I don’t know how long. A while.”

“Oh,” he pulled off his mask and met your eyes. You could not help but smile that the sight of him: brown eyes full of concern and hair a mess. “Which ones?”

“All of them.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you replied, your smile shifting into a frown as you flicked your gaze towards your open notebook. “Not everyone is a genius like you. Some of us are just average.”

“N-No, you’re not average.”

Peter’s brows furrowed and he stepped over to stand before your chair. He reached his hands out to you, your face. The fabric of his gloves tickled your cheeks but you leaned into his touch anyway. Waves of warmth emanating from his covered palms eased the whirlpool of worry and memorized facts that made up your mind.

“You’re amazing,” he said, so earnestly you felt a new kind of dizzy, “and you’re gonna do great.” A sound of disbelief slipped past your lips and, instantly, Peter’s brows furrowed. “Y/N.”

“I’ve studied but I don’t feel ready,” you began to explain, “I never feel ready, not really, but there’s just so much and-what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I mean, ‘cause you said it yourself: you never feel ready but you do a pretty good job anyway, right? I would say that’s ‘cause you’re amazing.”

“I guess you’re right…”

“Iama genius,” Peter teased, tipping his head towards yours. “Like you said.”

“And I stand by that,” you said, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His brown eyes grew darker with your proximity and you heard his sharp intake of breath. Your noses brushed against Peter’s, a quiet, subtle ask for permission. He echoed the action and you smiled before pecking his lips with your own.

It was the softest of kisses, one that lasted for hardly a handful of seconds before you pulled away. Yet, it was enough to clear your mind. Every thought was replaced by Peter, the sensation of his lips and hands on you. The peace of the feeling overwhelmed you, forced you to pull away, or risk never coming up for air.

When Peter’s eyes met yours, you knew he understood but there was a glint in his eyes that made your stomach twist. He knocked his nose against yours again.

“If I use my genius to help you study later, you think you could take a break now?”

There was no use in trying to bite back the grin that spread across your lips. You nodded and brushed your nose against his once more. “Absolutely, I could.”

“Awesome,” Peter beamed, his hands slipping from your face to your hips, lifting you out of your desk chair and against his chest. He kissed you again, harder this time, always happy to help in your time of need.

Light Pollution - Peter Parker

Spider-Man is always saving people, making sure people feel safe. But who makes sure Spider-Man feels safe?

Peter Parker was as stiff as a board.

His every muscle was tensed, flexed into stillness. Not even the rumble of the bus wheels against the road could shake him from his solid stance. Though, in his head, he cursed every pothole that threatened to jostle the peace he held still. In short, Peter was, to a silly degree, dedicated to not disturbing you or your slumber against his shoulder.

Your cheek was pressed to his arm, spreading a warmth that dulled the ache of a late-night ride home. If he let himself, Peter would lean in too, rest his head on top of yours and sleep away the end of the field trip. It would be so easy. It would be so warm and soft, and yet Peter was immovable. While his reluctance to shift in his spot was rooted in a fear of waking you, it was also rooted in the fear of and nervousness of a teenage boy in love.

“Hey P-wow, Y/N is zonked, huh?” Said nervous teenage boy flicked his eyes from you to Ned. His friend’s head popped up from behind the back of the seat situated in front of Peter.

“Y-Yeah,” Peter replied, “I don’t…I can’t move.”

“I’m sure Y/N wouldn’t mind if you scoot over.”

“No, it’s not that I-” as Peter began to explain, you shifted against him. Your face then sat closer into the crook of his neck. The new proximity immediately brought Peter’s focus to you. His breathing faltered and face pinked.

Ned let out a hushed, breathy chuckle and said, with far too much, sudden knowing, “good luck, man.”

Peter bit back a groan of alarm as his friend turned around, leaving the two of you terribly, wonderfully alone in your row of seating. As if, even sleeping, you could sense his distress, you pressed yourself closer to his side. Peter blamed the movement on whatever dream danced behind the dark of your eyelids. Blamed wasn’t entirely the right word for it though, Peter thankedthe dream that danced behind the dark of your eyelids as whatever it was lulled you to him. He could be grateful despite the nerves.

It was easy to be grateful, especially when it came to you. With you so close, Peter could readily admire the curves of your cheeks, the gentle fanning-out of your lashes, and the creaseless rest of your brow, relaxed in sleep. How rare it was to see you so at peace, with the stresses of the day invisible in your features. How rare it was to see you so close up!

At the thought, Peter was reminded of how your body fit against his and his nerves. He swallowed hard and averted his gaze, throwing his attention out the window. Peter tried to drown himself in the scattered lights that speckled the dark like large fireflies. Desperate to ignore the warmth of you, he even craned his neck up towards the sky. He saw the faintest of stars shining in the navy night. More stars than he would see in the city, anyway.

Light pollution stole the sight of constellations in Queens and while the class was by no means driving through the country, Peter found himself romanticizing the more open stretches of land. It was easy to do with the stars in the sky and you on his shoulder. And just like that, you consumed his thoughts again. Not even the window, the world outside, could grant him an escape from you. Escape was too cruel of a word.

Peter never wanted to escape you. You were the first person he ran to when things became too much. When he was beaten down, physically or emotionally, you somehow always managed to lift his spirits. Your smile eased any ache and did so faster than even his advanced healing.

But you also made things difficult. Like when you fell asleep on the way back home from a field trip, your head on Peter’s shoulder, looking as soft as ever. Or like when everything around him, from the stars shining through the window to the idle brushings of knees, reminded him of you. Peter saw you in everything, felt you too, partly due to his heightened senses. To him, you burned as brightly as any star, unhindered by any pollution, any darkness that swallowed everything, everyone, else up.

You burned even as you slept, shimmering under the streetlights as the bus passed and warming Peter through the chill of the AC.

So, when the bus drove over a large pothole and your eyes fluttered open, your closeness was overwhelming. Sleepily, your shifted, barely lifting your head from Peter’s shoulder to glance around. Peter’s eyes widened at the sight and he flicked his gaze quickly away from your face.

“Are we back?” Your voice was low, heavy with disuse.

“Uh, uh no. Not yet. Bumpy road, though,” Peter mumbled, tripping over his words. He looked at you with quick, panicked glances and saw you frown.

“Yeah,” you grumbled as you met his eyes. “Sorry for falling asleep on you.”

“Oh, no,” Peter shook his head, “it’s fine. It’s cool.” He swallowed hard before adding, nervously, “You can…you can go back to sleep, if you want.”

“I’m not hurting your shoulder?” Peter smiled at your concern, at how you were worried about him despite your half-open eyes and sleepy swaying.

“No, you’re not,” you could never hurt me.

“Okay,” you murmured, leaning your head back on Peter’s shoulder. “Wake me when we get back?”

“Of course, yeah,” Peter replied, his body untensing the second you rested back against him. While he kept his body taught, to ensure he wouldn’t wake you like the petulant pothole had, he let himself relax. He felt that he could, knowing that you wanted to be there, so close to him. Knowing that you knew he wanted you there, so close to him.

Peter even let himself fall back too, let his head rest on top of yours. Your warmth kissed his cheek and numbed any lingering nervousness. The thought of whatever worries waited for him in the city and the star-drowning skyscrapers were pushed away by your shine. In your light, Peter Parker felt safe enough to close his eyes.

Things have been different since you returned from Europe; since Peter told you his super-powered secret. The two of you had been distant. School and Peter’s ‘extracirruclar’ activities had taken over your lives. Luckily, you and Peter have a group project that brings you closer than ever before.

“How long have we been working on this?” Peter asked through a yawn.

“Stop it,” you said, waving at hand at him. Though, it was too late. A yawn forced its way to your face and you groaned through it. 

Peter, under the heat of your mildly amused glare,  let out a small laugh. “Sorry.”

“Sure you are,” you teased, reaching for your phone. Your eyes widened when you saw the time. “No, no that can’t be right.”

“I think it might be,” Peter said, his voice sounding far away. When you looked over to where he was sat, you saw only empty space. Quickly glancing around the room, you found him by his bedroom window. He pulled the curtains to the side and revealed the darkness of night that had settled over Queens. 

“We’re not even close to finished with this,” you said, running a hand through your hair. “Did we spend hours just talking?”

“Guess we lost track of time,” Peter agreed, moving to sit across from you once more.

On the floor before you were scattered papers; some riddled with nasty equations and others were scholarly articles lifted from the school’s database. You and Peter had barely begun to scratch the surface of the project assignment. Your eyes flicked over the rubric and your hands lifted to hold your head up as all your energy suddenly morphed into worry.

“Hey,” you felt Peter’s warm hand on your upper arm, anchoring you to reality. “It’s not due ‘til next week. We have time.”

You met Peter’s brown eyes and your hands fell from your face. Nerves that claimed you melted into the floor of Peter’s new bedroom, leaving only the two of you, staring at each other. The corner of his mouth was quirked up in that infuriatingly charming half-smile he favored around you. How you had missed that smile. How you had missed him.

At the thought, your worry resurfaced. “Will we though?”

Peter cocked his head to the side. “Will we…what?”

“Have time?”

“What do you mean?” Peter’s hand fell from your arm, leaving you to face the chill your questioning created. With a small sigh, you summoned the courage to reply.

“This is the longest we’ve hung out in….in a while. I know you’re busy with Spiderman things, I get it, I do, but since Europe it’s like become ghosts to each other. Does…does that make any sense? I mean, I,” you swallowed hard and you met Peter’s eyes, “I miss you.”

Peter’s furrowed brows relaxed at those last three words. His hand reached out again, gently taking your hand. You glanced down at his fingers as his rubbed his thumb along your knuckles. The relationship you had with Peter had always been friendly and full of friendly touches. Though something about the tenderness of his hand on yours made your stomach twist. Not with nerves but a tickling sort of excitement.  

“I-I’ve miss you too, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” you said softly. Peter gave your hand a squeeze and gave you another one of his lopsided smiles. 

“We’ll make time for each other. And the uh, the project.”

“Okay,” you tried to match his smile. 

“Cool.”

A sweet silence filled the air. The ticklish twisting in your gut subsided, melted into the steady beating of your heart as you found yourself wholly entranced by the shine in Peter’s eyes. You had noticed it in Europe: the newness that surrounded Peter. He was braver than the boy you had grown up with before the Blip, but still himself. The time you had spent apart had made that all the more clear. That, and knowing his Spider-Man-sized secret.

“Y/N, there’s something that I’ve wanted to tel-”

Just as Peter was about to continue, his phone hummed with a loud alarm. The sound made you both jump, though Peter recovered quickly. He got to his feet and picked up the device from his bedside table.

“Oh crap,” he murmured. When he turned to face you, you were greeted with a frown and sorry eyes. Your heart sank at the sight.

“What is it?”

“I gotta patrol.”

“Oh,” you nodded sadly, looking around the room for your things; looking anywhere but at Peter. “Then I guess I better go.” 

A low, thoughtful hum filled your ears and coaxed you to peer back up at Peter. One of his hands scratched at the back of his neck, almost nervously. Despite his lips being pressed into a thin line, the glinting in his eyes told you there was something he wanted to say. 

“What?”

“I could…uh, give you a ride, kinda, sorta?” 

You raised your brows and widened your eyes. “You got a car?”

“What?! Oh! No, I mean,” Peter rushed over to his closet door and, with a quickness that was beyond human, pushed it open to reach inside. He pulled his arm back and revealed the device in his hands. “I got this. I could swing you home.”

“You…you mean…”

“Only if you want,” Peter raised his hands, “I know heights aren’t everyone’s favorite thing so-“

He was beginning to backpedal, to rescind his frightening yet exciting offer. Before he could, you swallowed the clot of fear that had caught in your throat and nodded. 

“Yes,” you gave him a smile, “yeah, a ride would be nice.”

“O-Okay! Great! Um, let me get ready.” 

Peter crouched suddenly and, in a flash, a white web shot out from the gadget in his hand. It reached under his bed and, when Peter pulled back on the sticky webbing, a suit of red and black landed in his grip. You blinked, your eyes flickering between the suit and Peter’s proud smile. His brown eyes seemed to shine under the light of your impressed expression.

“Wow. Now, you’re just showing off.”

 Peter let out a soft laugh and, with rosy cheeks, duck his head to hide his face. He nodded towards the floor and lifted his gaze to meet yours once more. Pink still dusted the peaks of his face. His fingers tightened around the material of his suit, a nervous squeeze that stole your attention away for a moment. When you looked back up at Peter, you saw that the shade of his blush had only deepened. 

“I need to…” he raised his suit in his hands and refused to hold your gaze. You had never seen Peter so bashful and– your mouth fell open with realization.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ll just grab my stuff and wait outside,” you said, bending down to pick up your things. Folders and papers slid from your fingers and into your bag in a rushed mess. Heat gathered in your cheeks, the burning of an embarrassed blush; similar, you imagined, to Peter’s. You didn’t want to give him the chance to see.

“Alright,” Peter coughed roughly to clear his throat, ideally the room, of the new, heavy tension within. “It’ll only be a second.”

“Cool, good,” you straightened your posture and threw you bag over your shoulder. In two paces, your hand was within reach of the door. Rustling of fabric reached your ears; Peter must have already started to change. Your heart pounded at the thought and you quickly closed your fingers around the bronze door handle. Without thinking, you stepped to the side to open it.

With the shift, you caught a glimpse of Peter’s bare back. Shaded and sloping valleys of flesh and muscle flashed before you vision. Scattered freckles dotted the skin of his shoulders, something you had never noticed before. It was something you wished you hadn’t noticed because it froze you in place. Eventually, you were overwhelmed by a new wave of heat that thawed you out. You tore your eyes away and pushed yourself through the door, slamming it when you had meant to shut it softly. 

Shit! Your head fell back and knocked against the wood of the door with a dull thud. Trembling, a small breath passed over your lips. Like your every nerve ending, it hummed around you, filled the air until all you felt was the wild thunderstorm of your heartbeat. 

“Y/N?”

Wide-eyed, you tilted your head back upright and locked eyes with Peter’s Aunt May. Her surprise melted into a wide grin and she stepped towards you, arms open. 

“It’s been so long!”

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered out. You leaned into her embrace, taking long, slow breaths as you did. Silently, you hoped May couldn’t feel the jack-hammer that had started to work in your chest. Also silently, you forced the image of a half-naked Peter, dressing paces behind you, from your mind. Breathing steadily became an easy feat by comparison.

“Peter mentioned you were his project partner,” May said, pulling away to look into your face. “I haven’t seen him so happy! And I haven’t seen you since you went to Europe!”

A blush spread along your cheeks at the mention of Peter happy to be working with you. It eased the lingering worry that worked i your gut. He had missed you too, he had said as much, but it was another thing to hear it from May. She beamed at you, undoubtedly noting the rush of blood that stained your cheeks in a flush. 

“Yeah, like you said, it’s been too long.” 

May squeezed your shoulder. “You should come over for dinner, like you used to! We still have pizza on Friday nights!”

“I would love that.” An instinctual smile spread along your lips. Parker Pizza Nights was a custom that you had helped shape when you and Peter were just kids. Now, nearly graduated, and one of you a superhero, it persisted. “I would really love that.”

“Great! And I have a feeling that-” May phone chirped loudly, pulling her attention towards the glowing screen that shone through the denim of her jeans. “Oh, jeez, that’s…wow it’s late! You kids were working hard, huh?”

You nodded as May slipped her phone back into her pocket. She glanced over your shoulder at Peter’s closed, bedroom door. One of her dark brows quirked up in question and you felt your chest tighten at the sight.

“Uh, Peter’s gonna walk me home. He’s-”

“Walk?”

You couldn’t meet May’s dark eyes. Lying to her was impossible. How had Peter managed to do it: hide Spider-Man from her? The eggshells he must walk on, or swing over.

“Y-Yeah. Just to the bus stop. It’s so dark.” May’s eyebrow lifted impossibly higher. You curled your fingers into a fist, letting the tips of your nails dig into the flesh of your palm. “So, how have you been, May? Pete said something about a boyfriend?”

May laughed and started to reply in the same instant you felt a sudden draft. You spun on your heels and found that Peter’s door was open. Stood in the entrance to his room was Spider-Man, Peter, masked up and ready to give you a lift home. His window was open, curtains billowing ever-so slightly in the night’s breeze. 

Your mouth fell open and you turned your head grew heavy with all the possible excuses you could make to May to cover for Peter’s little show. Though, when you turned around, May was smiling. Her brows were relaxed and she looked…clearheaded.

“Oh, he’s giving you a lift. That makes sense. Walking, ha,” she shook her head. “Be safe, kiddos. Alright? Good to see you, Y/N.”

May gave your shoulder another squeeze before making her way to her own room. You watched her disappear down the hall before you turned back to Peter.

“She knows?!”

“Y-Yeah! I didn’t…I didn’t tell you, did I?” You groaned and stepped back into his bedroom. In relief, you reached a hand out and pushed Peter’s shoulder. He didn’t budge.

“No, you didn’t! I thought I was going to have to explain your,” you let your eyes trail over Peter’s form. The red and dark fabric was so form-fitted. You could see every muscle in his slim frame. The very same muscles you had caught only a tempting glimpse of minutes before. His shoulders appeared broader, stronger than you remembered. Or maybe this was just your first time seeing this side of Peter fully fleshed out.

“Y/N?” He waved a gloved hand in front of your face. You shook your head and felt a rush of heat towards your cheeks. How long had you been staring?

“Sorry, I was, I was worried I was going to have to explain your costume.”

“Oh,” the white eyes of Peter’s suit seemed to shrink, focus in on you. “Yeah, well, she’s known for a while. Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright,” you said, waving a hand at him. Warily, you stepped towards the open window and peered out into the dark that had fallen over Queens. “So, through the window?”

“Yup!”

“Won’t people see you come out of here and blow your cover?” Peter was silent and, for a moment, you thought he didn’t hear you. “Won’t it-”

“There’s no one around,” Peter clarified. He pointed a finger towards where his ears were tucked in his suit. “Spidey senses means spidey hearing.”

You raised a brow at him. “Spiders have good hearing?”

“I…actually, I don’t know,” he stepped past you and jumped to crouch on the window sill. He pushed the glass the rest of the way up and, in that moment, you saw that he had modified the window to be the perfect, and secret, gate-away spot. “You ready?”

A red hand reached out to you at Peter’s question. All at once, the disappointment of hearing Peter’s failure to mention you disappeared. Your heart lifted, swelled in your chest and, in a strange flood of bravery, you took his hand. With ease, he pulled you up on the window sill and to his chest. The close proximity knocked the air from your lungs.

“Alright so, uh, don’t let go.”

A breathy, near-silent laugh rumbled out of your throat. “Really? What do you take for, Parker? An idio-”

Gravity suddenly fell away and your stomach dropped out from under you like your window sill perch. The word died on your lips and morphed into a hit-pitched shriek as the sound of rushing wind filled your ears. Your hands curled into the fabric of Peter’s suit as you clung to him for dear life. To distract yourself from the coldness of air he was swinging you through, you focused on the warmth of Peter’s body.

“Just hold onto me!”

Every biting, mocking retort you had saved in your social memory bank lacked the nerve to be said. Vertigo and the awful thought of falling consumed you. Only Peter, despite being far from it spatially, was able to ground you. His right arm was wrapped around your waist like a flesh safety belt, anchoring you to him in such a way that, if you weren’t a few hundred feet above a busy street, would have made your stomach twist with excitement. 

“Scream louder if you want to land,” Peter shouted. 

Only his voice seemed to cut through the hollering air that whooshed by you. Air. You were basically flying. You screamed louder than when Peter first lept with you in his arms.

“Alright! Hold on! Hold on!”

Your scream shrank with the sound of the wind that roared in your ears. Aside from the warmth of Peter’s body pressed against yours, all you could feel was the rapid pace of your heart and, eventually, your toes hitting something solid. Even when the entire length and width of your sneaker rested against what you imagined was the ground, you kept yourself pressed into Peter. His arm remained around your waist, holding you close.

“You’re alright, I got you,” Peter murmured, his voice loud but soft in your ear. “I got you, I promise.”

Slowly, you lifted your head from Peter’s shoulder and peeled open your eyes. Tops of buildings were visible to you. Black in the darkness, the roofs of apartment glinted only in the changing colors of traffic signals. Red then green then yellow; multi-colored, urban fireflies.

Convenience store signs glowed bright, illuminating the streets that rested far below from where you stood. Neon signs flickered in the windows of a tattoo shop, nearly in-time with the drunken laughter that spilled out of the mouths of passersby on the sidewalk. From this high, the strangers looked small, like children. You glanced around and saw grey heating units, metal boxes fixed on cement around you. 

“Where are we?” Your voice felt small as you looked up at Peter. The white eyes of his mask were already focused on you. 

“Only a few blocks from your place,” the hand he had resting on your waist shifted, rubbing soothing circles into your side. “We can walk the rest of the way, if you want?”

“No,” you replied too quickly. You squeezed the material of Peter’s suit that your fingers still curled around. “I like this.”

“Yeah? It’s hard to tell with all the screaming,” Peter quipped. You shot him an unamused grimace and he laughed; the sound rumbled in his chest, vibrated against your own. “I like thistoo.”

Despite looking into the unreadable blankness of Peter’s mask, you felt a softness. When he didn’t move to continue swinging you home, you felt your chest tighten. The white material that covered his eyes grew larger then smaller, still trained on you. His hand stopped it’s comfort campaign against your back and instead opted to fall still.

“Are…are we talking about liking the same thing?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted and swallowed hard on the fear that was climbing up your throat. “I just know I’m happy that I don’t have to miss you anymore. That I know more about this guy,” you pinched the fabric of his suit. “Spider-Man.”

“Me too.” Peter’s voice was quiet as he replied. “I like being your partner.”

A small smile slipped onto your lips as you recalled what May had said. “Your project partner?”

“Yeah, your project partner, and well, I…” Peter trailed off, a few sounds of thoughtful filler floated around you as he struggled to find the words. His arms slipped from your waist as he gestured with his hands, explained to you that, after Europe, he was scared to put in harms way again. “I mean, it found me on vacation!”

“It?”

“Danger,” he sighed. “I don’t want to put my partner in danger like that again. I don’t want to put you at risk.”

“Partner?” You cocked your head slightly to the side. “You mean friend?” Peter stopped his pacing along the roof and lifted his still-masked face to your eyes. You didn’t have to ask him to lift his mask to know he was staring at you. His arms fell to his sides and the quiet balanced around you both was enough; though it confused you. “Peter?”

“My friend, yeah,” he started to close the gap that he had made between you, “but also, like…partner partner, if you’d want that? This, this isn’t how I imagined this going in my head.” Peter raised his hands and sandwiched his face between his palms. You couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Spider-Man, the hero of Queens, embarrassed. “Great, you’re laughing.”

“Not at you,” you said quickly, reaching your hands out to him. They shook slightly as you held Peter’s shoulders. So did your voice as you asked, “how did you imagine this going?”

“Well, I wanted to tell you in Europe. Paris maybe or in Big Ben, somewhere tall and romantic. But then…I didn’t tell you that and I told you about this.” He poked the spider emblem inlaid in the fabric on his chest. “And then we got back and I…now we’re here and-”

“Peter,” you whispered, a smile spreading along your face. He stopped rambling and the white eyes focused in on you. Wordlessly, you stepped closer to him and reached a hand up towards his face. With a new bravery guiding you, your finger tips found the end of his mask and began to lift. Peter didn’t stop you as you exposed his neck, his chin, and then his lips.

A shuddering breath passed through parted lips and, suddenly, he was just Peter again; your Peter, again. He was the boy you missed, the hero you had known him to be a kid playing with chalk on the sidewalk. Peter was the boy you loved trying to tell you that he loved you too in the most Peter-way how: on some roof in Queen, highlighted by the romantic glow of the streets below. Not quite how he imagined it but it was perfect for you.

So perfect that you weren’t scared when you leaned up towards him. You didn’t tremble as you placed your lips to his or when his hands gripped your waist. He pulled you to him, anchored you, once more, to his body. It was as if he were trying to keep you from floating away. As if he thought the kiss was not enough to keep you in place.

The kiss was certainly enough to convince you to keep sharing your space with him. Even when you pulled away, you did not go far. Only far enough to see the lazy smile on his lips as he said, “wow. That’s…just how I imagined it.”

Love Like The Saxifrage2/?

Summary: A tragic romance blossomed in the darkest corners of hydra, much like the purple saxifrage that blooms in an ice desert. Their story was destined to be forgotten as fate changed its plans for the poor couple.

Warnings:Angst, hydra, killing, mentions of panic attack and depression, cursing, insinuating to torture/trauma

Pairing: Winter soldier x reader (For now known as Nyx which is the assassin name but will eventually go to Y/N)

Word count:946

A/N:Okay so I didn’t think that many people would actually like my story so I didn’t have plans to make more parts but here you go I Guess. I hope you like it and i really appreciate the likes and reblogs! And there will be romance soon. :)

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“Look if we wait until shes alone we’re going to end up staying here for a couple of weeks. She’s in very high position so the chances that she’ll be alone without a few bodyguards is very unlikely” ‘Nyx’ concluded with an exasperated sigh, wanting to get the mission over with.

He grunted and kept staring into his binoculars, clearly blocking her out. “That’s it” Grabbing her headset she got out of the car and slammed the door. He bored into her retreating figure before grumbling a few curses under his breath and going after her.

Her air was pulled from her lungs as she was roughly jerked into a secluded wall before she reached the apartment building, “What the hell are you doing!?” He whispered harshly, eyes looking hostile. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” She shakily seethed; feeling her chest tighten and her breathe pick up its pace as she slumped her shoulders and stepped away from him, pressing herself against the wall.

The soldier gawked at her, perplexed at her sudden change of behavior. He reached out towards her, unsure how to handle the situation. After all, hydra needed him to be unfazed when his victims begged for their lives in distress. ‘Nyx’ flinched away from his touch and pointed her finger, threateningly, towards him.

“I said don’t fucking touch me!” ‘Nyx’ growled.

He stepped away and slowly brought his hands up finally registering her sudden change of attitude. He cursed in his mind. How could he be so stupid? Of course she was scared, she had been forced into submission by hydra just like him and she clearly didn’t enjoy it.

“Listen, i’m not going to hurt you… We-we’re partners, okay?” He clarified, stumbling over his words unsure of how to comfort her shaking form. She looked into his eyes. Searching for something, anything. She needed to grasp onto some sort of comfort. Finally nodding and relaxing her stance she took a deep breathe. “Okay. Okay, I’m ready” She mumbled looking straight into his eyes.

He turned around and headed towards the building. He felt her grasp his wrist and he looked back at her. “Forget about this… Nothing happened.”

“They’ll wipe my mind when we get back. I won’t remember anything.” He mumbled. Her gaze softened and she nodded. As soon as they broke through the front door they were met with 10 strong and burly men. The two assassins made quick work of the men and headed towards the bedroom where the women would likely be. She turned around and continued her phone call with a shaky breath.

“Mommy’s gonna be gone for a little bit okay? Tell daddy I love him very much. I have to go now… Make sure to listen to daddy okay? I love you” She mumbled and hung up as a few tears slipped down her face.

-

I gulped as she finished her call and faced us.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Just put me out of my misery already” She mumbled.

“We were ordered to bring you back to hydra, not to kill you.” She stared at him with shock, quickly being flooded with panic.

“W-What? No-nonono. Please. You can’t! They already know all the information I have on them! You can’t take me to them… “ She hysterically yelled, eyes darting between the both of us.

I bit the inside of my lip and closed my eyes momentarily trying to regain some control of my emotions. Hearing her pleading sobs shouldn’t have affected me this much. It wouldn’t have affected me if I didn’t hear that fucking call. I quickly pulled out my gun and shot her between her eyebrows and inwardly cringed when a bit of blood splashed on me. “Lets go” I ordered and headed to the motel.

Once we returned to the motel winter slammed the door, it almost came out of its hinges

“What the hell was that all about!? Hydra is going to punish us. Both of us!” he scolded me.

“You heard her, hydra already knows the information she gathered on them.” I replied calmly, justifying myself. “It doesn’t matter. That’s not what they told us to do”

“We are going to tell them she took the bullet for one of the guards, got it?” I turned around and glared at him but he stayed silent.

“If they find out that you were weak you will be severely punished by the head of hydra.” He growled.

“Thats if they find out. The only way they’ll find out is if you tell them. And you know what? I don’t care! Go ahead tell them! Maybe they’ll finally decide that they’ve had enough of me! Maybe they’ll finally kill me!” I screamed, storming off into the bathroom. I quickly peeled off my uniform and climbed into the freezing shower.

I slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, hugging my knees, “Please, I can’t do this anymore” I silently begged to anyone-anything. I hoped the sound of the water droplets slamming into the floor covered up my wet sobs and wishes of freedom. After a few minutes I gulped down the lump in my chest and rubbed the hot tears from my eyes before stepping out of the shower.

I grabbed a cigarette and smoked near the door. The winter soldier came and sat by me. “I won’t tell them.” He mumbled and took it from my hands. He took a long puff and exhaled before he continued, “I said it once and i’ll say it again: We are partners.” He stretched his right hand out to me and I stared at it for a few minutes before I snorted and shook it.

“Okay.”

Love Like The Saxifrage

1/?

Summary: A tragic romance blossomed in the darkest corners of hydra, much like the purple saxifrage that blooms in an ice desert. Their story was destined to be forgotten as fate changed its plans for the poor couple.

Warnings:angst, hydra, insinuations of suffering torture, mentions of depression, probably a swear word, winter soldier not talking much, first person pov

Pairing: Winter soldier x reader (For now known as NYX but eventually will go to Y/N)

Word count:1079

A/N:I was thinking of doing a mini series of this depending on how well it does but idk. I hope you like it tho

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I pulled my knees up to my chest trying to get comfortable on the stiff and rock solid bed that lay beneath me. When I wasn’t sent on missions for hydra I was locked up in my room forced to listen to my thoughts. I didn’t like what i was forced to do; I don’t think anyone liked what they made us do, but I much rather perform missions than lay here and dwell on my poor excuse of a life. During missions I could finally have a miniscule amount of freedom, doing things like walking in the streets, going to the market, staying in a motel maybe a hotel if I got lucky, but most importantly I could pretend I was normal. Growing up with hydra after graduating from the red room made me a perfect weapon… Placed me above the Black widow and on the same pedestal as the ‘Winter soldier’. We had yet to cross paths but we resided in the same base.

There was a knock on the door and I quickly stood erect, ready for an assignment. “From now on you will have a partner and you will carry out missions together.” The headman of this hydra base uttered.

“Follow me.” He ordered and turned on his heels as he began striding towards ‘my’ new room.

Once we arrived I waited for him to enter first but he pushed me in and shut the door. I clenched my jaw and slowly stood up. I quickly scanned the room- there was one large mattress with a few blankets near the wall, a metal desk with a small lamp and a chair, a closed door which probably lead to the bathroom, a small refrigerator, and a hunched over figure on the bed.

“You’re the winter soldier” I muttered as I sat on the chair. He grunted and continued to glare at his hand.

“How long have you been here?” I asked as I observed him.

“don’t know…” He huffed as he raised his eyes to meet mine.

A broken man, that’s what he was. I felt sorry for him but there wasn’t much I could do to help our current situation.

“You ever smoke?” I asked, digging into my pocket and pulled out some cigarettes and a lighter I stole from one of the guards earlier. He shook his head and I handed him one. He stared up at me confused.

I sighed “Just try it”. He took it, took a long drag, and handed it back to me so I could do the same.

“Do you know your story? Or did they you know” I pointed to my finger to my head and spun it in circles insinuating to the memory swiper they used to scramble the brains of the uncooperative assassins. He didn’t respond so I assumed the latter.

“Do you want to know?” I murmured as I took a deep drag of the cigarette. He looked at me with interest.

“You know who I was?” he asked and I shook my head.

“No, but I can find out.”

“They’ll kill you.”

I smirked at the wall “ It’s a win win situation.” He sighed and took the cigarette from me smoking it once again.

“Why do they call you Nyx?” he asked looking at me.

“You’ve heard of me? I guess i’ve made myself quite the reputation… The name was given to me a few years ago, I’m known for striking at night so people started calling me Nyx.” He hummed and we smoked in silence for a while before we heard a knock on the door.

“You have a mission.” Once of the henchman called out and threw us our gear through a slot in the door.

My forehead touched the window as we drove to a far away city to start our mission.

“Impressive, our target is the head researcher on hydra at shield. Guess she got too much information on them.” I commented while reading aloud the details of our mission to the soldier as he drove to the place we were staying.

“We have to be careful, she must be heavily guarded since she’s in that kind of position” I muttered to myself.

We arrived as the sun was setting and stationed ourselves at a motel near a busy market in the city. We changed into our civilian clothes and I headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” I heard Winters gruff voice mutter as my hand landed on the door knob.

“I’m going to the night market.” I replied ready to leave.

“Why? It’ll be better if we stay here”. I snorted.

“It would be better if we weren’t here at all. Anyway i’m going, want anything?” he shook his head and I sighed muttering a quick ‘suit yourself’ before leaving. I smiled as the chilly october air hit my nostrils and the unfamiliar aroma of foreign foods enveloped my space.

-

After hours of wondering the streets and parks the city had to offer, I made my way back to the motel. After closing the door I was met with the familiar cocking of a gun.

“It’s just me, you can put the gun away. I hope you’re hungry because I brought food.” I presented the bag to him. He eyed it curiously and sat down.

“What” I snorted “Everytime I offer you anything you look at it like it’s the first thing you’ve seen in years.” his gaze momentarily shifted down and his arms crossed but he didn’t speak.

I clicked my tongue and looked up. That poor bastard had been through too much. I shook my head. Of course I’m well aware of the tactics hydra used to push its agenda, they’d been used on me but I learned very quickly to block them out and repress them. It seemed like he had yet to learn that and the more I observed him the more I realized just how shattered he was from the inside out. We ate in a heavy silence as I pondered just how much he had actually suffered.

“We take her out tonight.” he muttered.

“What?”

“The target. We take her out tonight and return to hydra tomorrow morning.” I nodded and started to gear up.

Parttwo

NOT TO BE THAT PERSON BUT IMAGINE BUCKY BARNES HOLDING A PUPPY AWKWARDLY UP TO HIS CHEST AND IT LAYS ITS HEAD ON HIS CHEST

A few years back(before I joined the MCU) I thought Sebastian Stan was from some sort of band and was like a part time actor

Ok so I’ve been thinking about how common it is for Bucky fics to include people being disturbed/uncomfortable bc of his arm BUT hear me out:

Bucky is chillin at a coffee shop with his s/o right and then they notice a mother and her son who keeps starring at his arm. His s/o notices that and they’re like “hey we can get outta here if you want” but Bucky’s like “it’s ok, I’m used to it”. Just as their s/o is gonna say something the kid and the mom goes up to Bucky mouthing a ‘I’m really sorry’ before the kid starts excitedly talking to Bucky asking things like “you’re arm is so cool! Can I touch it!? Is it real!? Can I take a picture with you!??!” And Bucky is surprised but genuinely smiles and he’s like “sure kid” and for like 10 minutes the kid is admiring his arm before the mom thanks Bucky and peels the kid from his arm and Bucky is happy.

Tell me this isn’t true

Tony: “ Alright kid, what do you usually do when I’m gone?”

Peter: “…Wait for you to come back :(“

Peter and the avengers

Peter : after a mission talking to the avengers “ u ever drink water rlly intensely n it’s dripping down ur chin n shit but ur lettin it and in that moment u really and truly are a dirty slut for water?”

Tony : whispering to himself very concerned “what in the actual fuck?”

Running

So I went running today and it was the worst experience of my life. 10/10 would not do again. Hated every moment of it and I’m sure at least one of the passerby’s heard me let out a string of curses and complaints.