Shuri: the awkward moment when you realize the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.

Harley: the sweet sound of nature

Peter: sound just like high school actually.

MJ: I can’t wait until I get a job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.

Flash: are you satan?

Shuri: are you god?

MCU!Peter: are we humans?

Ned: Or are we dancer?

Raimi Peter: is this the real life

TASM Peter: or is this just fantasy

Harley: No this is Patrick

Peter: the phrase ‘what the entire fuck’ implies the existence of fractional fucks’

Harley: ‘what the absolute fuck’ implies the existence of positive and negative fucks.

Shuri: ‘what the actual fuck’ implies the existence of imaginary fucks.

Peter: Conclusion: fuckery is isomorphic with the complex field.

Tony: this is not what I fucking meant when I asked you all ‘what did you learn at fucking school today’

Peter: I hate that SEPTember, OCTOber, NOVember, and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Harley: who ever fucked this up should be stabbed.

Shuri: if I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months. It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering in the calendar.

Peter: good news Harley, whoever fucked it up did in fact get stabbed!

Peter: Mad scientists will be like ‘I know a place’ and then strap you onto the autopsy table.

Shuri: only an autopsy table if you’re dead. Please use the proper name for my vivisection table.

Harley: scientists strap you?

MCU Sibling Appreciation Post

Harley Keener should be included

Everyone is excited for Groot, Peter, and Shuri to team up but I want Harley to be included! Harley is one of the best kids! He was our favorite before Peter came along and now everyone forgot about him! Let’s try to remember him! He made a potato gun guys how can you forget him!

Love Like The Saxifrage2/?

Summary: A tragic romance blossomed in the darkest corners of hydra, much like the purple saxifrage that blooms in an ice desert. Their story was destined to be forgotten as fate changed its plans for the poor couple.

Warnings:Angst, hydra, killing, mentions of panic attack and depression, cursing, insinuating to torture/trauma

Pairing: Winter soldier x reader (For now known as Nyx which is the assassin name but will eventually go to Y/N)

Word count:946

A/N:Okay so I didn’t think that many people would actually like my story so I didn’t have plans to make more parts but here you go I Guess. I hope you like it and i really appreciate the likes and reblogs! And there will be romance soon. :)

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“Look if we wait until shes alone we’re going to end up staying here for a couple of weeks. She’s in very high position so the chances that she’ll be alone without a few bodyguards is very unlikely” ‘Nyx’ concluded with an exasperated sigh, wanting to get the mission over with.

He grunted and kept staring into his binoculars, clearly blocking her out. “That’s it” Grabbing her headset she got out of the car and slammed the door. He bored into her retreating figure before grumbling a few curses under his breath and going after her.

Her air was pulled from her lungs as she was roughly jerked into a secluded wall before she reached the apartment building, “What the hell are you doing!?” He whispered harshly, eyes looking hostile. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” She shakily seethed; feeling her chest tighten and her breathe pick up its pace as she slumped her shoulders and stepped away from him, pressing herself against the wall.

The soldier gawked at her, perplexed at her sudden change of behavior. He reached out towards her, unsure how to handle the situation. After all, hydra needed him to be unfazed when his victims begged for their lives in distress. ‘Nyx’ flinched away from his touch and pointed her finger, threateningly, towards him.

“I said don’t fucking touch me!” ‘Nyx’ growled.

He stepped away and slowly brought his hands up finally registering her sudden change of attitude. He cursed in his mind. How could he be so stupid? Of course she was scared, she had been forced into submission by hydra just like him and she clearly didn’t enjoy it.

“Listen, i’m not going to hurt you… We-we’re partners, okay?” He clarified, stumbling over his words unsure of how to comfort her shaking form. She looked into his eyes. Searching for something, anything. She needed to grasp onto some sort of comfort. Finally nodding and relaxing her stance she took a deep breathe. “Okay. Okay, I’m ready” She mumbled looking straight into his eyes.

He turned around and headed towards the building. He felt her grasp his wrist and he looked back at her. “Forget about this… Nothing happened.”

“They’ll wipe my mind when we get back. I won’t remember anything.” He mumbled. Her gaze softened and she nodded. As soon as they broke through the front door they were met with 10 strong and burly men. The two assassins made quick work of the men and headed towards the bedroom where the women would likely be. She turned around and continued her phone call with a shaky breath.

“Mommy’s gonna be gone for a little bit okay? Tell daddy I love him very much. I have to go now… Make sure to listen to daddy okay? I love you” She mumbled and hung up as a few tears slipped down her face.

-

I gulped as she finished her call and faced us.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Just put me out of my misery already” She mumbled.

“We were ordered to bring you back to hydra, not to kill you.” She stared at him with shock, quickly being flooded with panic.

“W-What? No-nonono. Please. You can’t! They already know all the information I have on them! You can’t take me to them… “ She hysterically yelled, eyes darting between the both of us.

I bit the inside of my lip and closed my eyes momentarily trying to regain some control of my emotions. Hearing her pleading sobs shouldn’t have affected me this much. It wouldn’t have affected me if I didn’t hear that fucking call. I quickly pulled out my gun and shot her between her eyebrows and inwardly cringed when a bit of blood splashed on me. “Lets go” I ordered and headed to the motel.

Once we returned to the motel winter slammed the door, it almost came out of its hinges

“What the hell was that all about!? Hydra is going to punish us. Both of us!” he scolded me.

“You heard her, hydra already knows the information she gathered on them.” I replied calmly, justifying myself. “It doesn’t matter. That’s not what they told us to do”

“We are going to tell them she took the bullet for one of the guards, got it?” I turned around and glared at him but he stayed silent.

“If they find out that you were weak you will be severely punished by the head of hydra.” He growled.

“Thats if they find out. The only way they’ll find out is if you tell them. And you know what? I don’t care! Go ahead tell them! Maybe they’ll finally decide that they’ve had enough of me! Maybe they’ll finally kill me!” I screamed, storming off into the bathroom. I quickly peeled off my uniform and climbed into the freezing shower.

I slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, hugging my knees, “Please, I can’t do this anymore” I silently begged to anyone-anything. I hoped the sound of the water droplets slamming into the floor covered up my wet sobs and wishes of freedom. After a few minutes I gulped down the lump in my chest and rubbed the hot tears from my eyes before stepping out of the shower.

I grabbed a cigarette and smoked near the door. The winter soldier came and sat by me. “I won’t tell them.” He mumbled and took it from my hands. He took a long puff and exhaled before he continued, “I said it once and i’ll say it again: We are partners.” He stretched his right hand out to me and I stared at it for a few minutes before I snorted and shook it.

“Okay.”

Love Like The Saxifrage

1/?

Summary: A tragic romance blossomed in the darkest corners of hydra, much like the purple saxifrage that blooms in an ice desert. Their story was destined to be forgotten as fate changed its plans for the poor couple.

Warnings:angst, hydra, insinuations of suffering torture, mentions of depression, probably a swear word, winter soldier not talking much, first person pov

Pairing: Winter soldier x reader (For now known as NYX but eventually will go to Y/N)

Word count:1079

A/N:I was thinking of doing a mini series of this depending on how well it does but idk. I hope you like it tho

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I pulled my knees up to my chest trying to get comfortable on the stiff and rock solid bed that lay beneath me. When I wasn’t sent on missions for hydra I was locked up in my room forced to listen to my thoughts. I didn’t like what i was forced to do; I don’t think anyone liked what they made us do, but I much rather perform missions than lay here and dwell on my poor excuse of a life. During missions I could finally have a miniscule amount of freedom, doing things like walking in the streets, going to the market, staying in a motel maybe a hotel if I got lucky, but most importantly I could pretend I was normal. Growing up with hydra after graduating from the red room made me a perfect weapon… Placed me above the Black widow and on the same pedestal as the ‘Winter soldier’. We had yet to cross paths but we resided in the same base.

There was a knock on the door and I quickly stood erect, ready for an assignment. “From now on you will have a partner and you will carry out missions together.” The headman of this hydra base uttered.

“Follow me.” He ordered and turned on his heels as he began striding towards ‘my’ new room.

Once we arrived I waited for him to enter first but he pushed me in and shut the door. I clenched my jaw and slowly stood up. I quickly scanned the room- there was one large mattress with a few blankets near the wall, a metal desk with a small lamp and a chair, a closed door which probably lead to the bathroom, a small refrigerator, and a hunched over figure on the bed.

“You’re the winter soldier” I muttered as I sat on the chair. He grunted and continued to glare at his hand.

“How long have you been here?” I asked as I observed him.

“don’t know…” He huffed as he raised his eyes to meet mine.

A broken man, that’s what he was. I felt sorry for him but there wasn’t much I could do to help our current situation.

“You ever smoke?” I asked, digging into my pocket and pulled out some cigarettes and a lighter I stole from one of the guards earlier. He shook his head and I handed him one. He stared up at me confused.

I sighed “Just try it”. He took it, took a long drag, and handed it back to me so I could do the same.

“Do you know your story? Or did they you know” I pointed to my finger to my head and spun it in circles insinuating to the memory swiper they used to scramble the brains of the uncooperative assassins. He didn’t respond so I assumed the latter.

“Do you want to know?” I murmured as I took a deep drag of the cigarette. He looked at me with interest.

“You know who I was?” he asked and I shook my head.

“No, but I can find out.”

“They’ll kill you.”

I smirked at the wall “ It’s a win win situation.” He sighed and took the cigarette from me smoking it once again.

“Why do they call you Nyx?” he asked looking at me.

“You’ve heard of me? I guess i’ve made myself quite the reputation… The name was given to me a few years ago, I’m known for striking at night so people started calling me Nyx.” He hummed and we smoked in silence for a while before we heard a knock on the door.

“You have a mission.” Once of the henchman called out and threw us our gear through a slot in the door.

My forehead touched the window as we drove to a far away city to start our mission.

“Impressive, our target is the head researcher on hydra at shield. Guess she got too much information on them.” I commented while reading aloud the details of our mission to the soldier as he drove to the place we were staying.

“We have to be careful, she must be heavily guarded since she’s in that kind of position” I muttered to myself.

We arrived as the sun was setting and stationed ourselves at a motel near a busy market in the city. We changed into our civilian clothes and I headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” I heard Winters gruff voice mutter as my hand landed on the door knob.

“I’m going to the night market.” I replied ready to leave.

“Why? It’ll be better if we stay here”. I snorted.

“It would be better if we weren’t here at all. Anyway i’m going, want anything?” he shook his head and I sighed muttering a quick ‘suit yourself’ before leaving. I smiled as the chilly october air hit my nostrils and the unfamiliar aroma of foreign foods enveloped my space.

-

After hours of wondering the streets and parks the city had to offer, I made my way back to the motel. After closing the door I was met with the familiar cocking of a gun.

“It’s just me, you can put the gun away. I hope you’re hungry because I brought food.” I presented the bag to him. He eyed it curiously and sat down.

“What” I snorted “Everytime I offer you anything you look at it like it’s the first thing you’ve seen in years.” his gaze momentarily shifted down and his arms crossed but he didn’t speak.

I clicked my tongue and looked up. That poor bastard had been through too much. I shook my head. Of course I’m well aware of the tactics hydra used to push its agenda, they’d been used on me but I learned very quickly to block them out and repress them. It seemed like he had yet to learn that and the more I observed him the more I realized just how shattered he was from the inside out. We ate in a heavy silence as I pondered just how much he had actually suffered.

“We take her out tonight.” he muttered.

“What?”

“The target. We take her out tonight and return to hydra tomorrow morning.” I nodded and started to gear up.

Parttwo

I’ve accepted that im a weak bitch for Peter Parker, Bucky Barnes, Loki Laufeyson, and Thor Odinson thanks

Ok so I’ve been thinking about how common it is for Bucky fics to include people being disturbed/uncomfortable bc of his arm BUT hear me out:

Bucky is chillin at a coffee shop with his s/o right and then they notice a mother and her son who keeps starring at his arm. His s/o notices that and they’re like “hey we can get outta here if you want” but Bucky’s like “it’s ok, I’m used to it”. Just as their s/o is gonna say something the kid and the mom goes up to Bucky mouthing a ‘I’m really sorry’ before the kid starts excitedly talking to Bucky asking things like “you’re arm is so cool! Can I touch it!? Is it real!? Can I take a picture with you!??!” And Bucky is surprised but genuinely smiles and he’s like “sure kid” and for like 10 minutes the kid is admiring his arm before the mom thanks Bucky and peels the kid from his arm and Bucky is happy.

Tell me this isn’t true

Tony: “ Alright kid, what do you usually do when I’m gone?”

Peter: “…Wait for you to come back :(“

Peter and the avengers

Peter : after a mission talking to the avengers “ u ever drink water rlly intensely n it’s dripping down ur chin n shit but ur lettin it and in that moment u really and truly are a dirty slut for water?”

Tony : whispering to himself very concerned “what in the actual fuck?”

I like to think that Shuri and Peter have a meme challenge and at any given time ( no matter how inconvenient) they force the other to reply with/ re-enact a meme

Mj: Just say those three words and I’m yours

Shuri through a small microphone: Peter do the thing

Peter begrudgingly and with a sigh: Welcome to chili’s

woc superhero appreciation post

+ add more

highclasstrashposts:

Tony: T'challa, take your mother fucking sister back to Wakanda and don’t let her leave.

T'challa: why? What did she do?

Harley, Shuri and Peter: {dancing in a conga line to the “please don’t do cocaine” song}

Tony: she did that.

Shuri, Harley and Peter, all yelling: PleASe DOn’T dO CocAIn, heY!!! CocAiN RuiN yOuR bRaIN, HEy!!! plEAsE doN’T Do coCaIN, WHaT!!! cOCaIn rUiN YOur bRaIN, HeY!!!

Ohmy-