#source incorrect quotes generator
Past Crystal'Venom/Vcc and present creatures craziness 3!
Vcc being fun but angsty edition 1!
Vcc: "Fuck capitalism. It’s a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn’t fair. You shouldn’t need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.“
Vcc, playing Monopoly: "Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.”
♠︎♡◆
Vcc: "As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.“
♠︎♡◆
Vcc: "I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.”
♠︎♡◆
Vcc: “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.”
♠︎♡◆
Vcc: "Do you know that we are made out of atoms?“
Vcc: "And atoms never touch each other.”
Vcc: "So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.“
♠︎♡♠︎
Vcc: "God has let me live another day and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem.”
Past Crystal'Venom/Vcc and present creatures craziness 2!
Isaac/Symbiote'Storm: “I’ve already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.”
Hollow: “This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.”
●●●
Vcc:“I’m gonna need a human skull and I can’t have you ask any questions why.”
Crystal‘Venom: “Only if you also don’t ask why.”
Crystal'Venom:-Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls- “Take your pick.”
Vcc:
Crystal'Venom:
Vcc: “This one is fine.”
●●●
Vcc:-Screams-
Crystal'Venom:-Screams louder to assert dominance-
Killer'Claw: “Should we do something?!”
Black'Storm, observing: “No, I want to see who wins this.”
●●●
Vcc:-Gently taps table-
Crystal'Venom:-Taps back-
Black'Storm: “What are they doing?”
Killer'Claw: “Morse code.”
Vcc:-Aggressively taps table-
Crystal'Venom:-Slams paws down- “YOU TAKE THAT BACK-”
●●●
Roxanne: “You lying, cheating, piece of shit!”
Crystal'Venom: “Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!”
Roxanne: “I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING KILLER'CLAW WITH ME!!”
Vcc, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.“
●●●
Crystal'Venom: "Dammit, Vcc!”
Vcc: “What?! It wasn’t me!”
Crystal'Venom: “Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Killer'Claw!”
Killer'Claw: “Not me either.”
Crystal'Venom: “Oh…Then who set the house on fire?”
Black'Storm:-Whistles-
●●●
Vcc: “What did you do with Sewing'Zombie ’s body?”
Vector: “What didn’t I do with the body?”
Vcc:
Vector: “Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.”
●●●
Vcc: “Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.”
Vector: “Okay, but in my defense, Sewing'Zombie bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.”
Vcc: “That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!”
●●●
Vcc: “Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?”
Vector: “You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.”
Sewing'Zombie: “You can stab me too, then we’ll have 20 million.”
Vector: “Good thinking.”
●●●
Vcc: “While I’m gone, Vector, you’re in charge.”
Vector: “Yes!!!”
Vcc, whispering: “Sewing'Zombie, you’re secretly in charge.”
Sewing'Zombie:“Obviously.”
●●●
Vcc: “Hey, Vector? Can I get some dating advice?”
Vector: “Just because I’m with Sewing'Zombie doesn’t mean I know how I did it.”
●●●
Vet'Zombie, rushing into the room: “It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!”
Doctor'Zombie: "Vet'Zombie , honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Vcc, would you get Vet'Zombie some water?“
Vcc: "What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, 'Thank God, the water’s here!’?”
●●●
Vcc: “I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-”
Chica: "Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~“
Vcc: "Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-”
Vet'Zombie, recording: "This is so cute.“
●●●
Vet'Zombie: "Yesterday, I overheard Doctor'Zombie saying 'Are you sure this is a good idea?’ and Vcc replying 'Trust me,’ and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.”
●●●
Vcc: "Onion rings are vegetable donuts.“
Vet'Zombie, used to Vcc being angsty and angry: "Sure…”
Vcc: "Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.“
Vet'Zombie: "Okay?”
Vcc: "Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.“
Vet'Zombie:
Vcc: "Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-”
Vet'Zombie: "Jesus, that one is a little-“
Doctor'Zombie, interested: "No, no, Vcc, keep going.”
●●●
Doctor'Zombie: "You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.“
Vcc: "Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?”
Vet'Zombie: "Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.“
Past Crystal'Venom/Vcc and present creatures craziness 1.
Vcc: “Okay. I get it. You’ve had a really hard time lately, you’re stressed out, seven people died-”
Sewing'Zombie: “Twelve, actually.”
Vcc: “Not the point. Look, they’re dead now and really whose fault is that?”
Sewing'Zombie:“Yours!”
Vcc: “That’s right; no one’s.”
***
Sewing'Zombie, negotiating with Vcc: “We have Killer'Claw . Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed.”
Killer'Claw: “Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?”
Sewing'Zombie:
Killer'Claw: “MAKE IT ONE MILLION–”
Sewing'Zombie: “KILLER'CLAW STOP!-”
***
Sewing'Zombie: “Is stabbing someone immoral?”
Vcc: “Not if they consent to it.”
Killer'Claw: “Depends who you’re stabbing.”
Vector: “YES?!?”
***
Sewing'Zombie: “Okay, truth or dare?”
Vector: “Truth.”
Sewing'Zombie: “How many hours have you slept this week?”
Vector :
Vector: “…Dare.”
Sewing'Zombie:“Go to bed.”
Vector: “I don’t like this game.”
***
Sewing'Zombie:“Please, I’m begging you go to a doctor.”
Vector: “I’m sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.”
Sewing'Zombie: “You often use humor to deflect trauma.”
Vector: “Thank you.”
Sewing'Zombie: “I didn’t say that was a good thing.”
Vector: “What I’m hearing is, you think I’m funny.”
***
Store Worker: “Would a Mr. Sewing'Zombie please come to the front desk?”
Sewing'Zombie, arriving at the desk: “Hello, is there a problem?”
Store Worker: -Points to Vector and Vcc-
Store Worker: “I believe they belong to you?”
Vector and Vcc, simultaneously: “We got lost.”
Sewing'Zombie: “I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-”
Sewing'Zombie, in a high voice, holding barbie: “Hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!”
Vector, in a deep voice, holding ken: “Nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids.”
Vcc: “What the fuck are you guys doing?”
Sewing'Zombie: “Playing systemic oppression.”
***
Vector: “Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.”
Sewing'Zombie: “Vector no.”
Vcc:“Mistlefoe.”
Sewing'Zombie: “Please stop encouraging them.”
Sewing'Zombie: “Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?”
Vector: “You’re a hazard to society.”
Vcc: “And a coward. DO TWENTY!!”
***
Sewing'Zombie: “WHY. why did you give Vcc a KNIFE?!”
Vector: “I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.”
Sewing'Zombie: “Now I feel unsafe!”
Vector: “I’m sorry.”
Vector: “… would you like a knife?”
***
Isaac/Symbiote'Storm: “Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.”
Hollow: “I think you mean cards.”
Isaac/Symbiote'Storm, pulling knives out of their sleeves: “No, I do not.”
Logan: Time for plan G.
Patton: Don’t you mean plan B?
Logan: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Virgil: What about plan D?
Logan: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Virgil: What about plan E?
Logan: I’m hoping not to use it. Janus dies in plan E.
Roman: I like plan E.
*Avengers Walk into the living room*
Loki: Welcome, fellow idiots.
Y/N: Hello, Loki!
Loki, with heart eyes: No, no, not you, you’re not an idiot.
Y/N: You underestimate me.
Y/N: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
Jason: Ok, but in my defense, Damien bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Y/N: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
Y/N: FOR 50 CENTS?!
Y/N: We need to get through this locked door. Dean, give me your credit card.
Dean:Here.
Y/N, pocketing it: Thanks. Sam, kick down the door.
Y/N, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?
Klaus: You did WHAT–
Elijah: William Snakepeare!
Dean: Y/N has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them.
Sam: That can’t be true.
Dean: Watch this.
Dean: Hey Y/N, race you to the bottom of the stairs!
Y/N: *Throws themself out a window*
Peter: Are you laughing at that video of Bucky and Rocket fighting?
Tony:No.
Y/N: We’re laughing at the comments.
Y/N: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Y/N: Weight loss? Drink water.
Jaskier: Clear skin? Drink water.
Geralt: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
Jody: Do you love Y/N?
Dean: Yeah, I do.
Jody: Sam! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Sam: We all love Y/N. You should’ve asked if he was IN love with them.
Dean:I thought that was implied.
Sam:…
Jody:…
Dean, looking straight at Sam: Congrats Jody, you just won 100 bucks.
Reagan: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Brett:What if it bites me and it dies!?
Gigi:Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Brett, learn to listen.
Andre: What if it bites itself and I die?
Glenn: That’s voodoo.
Brett: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Myc: That’s correlation, not causation.
Glenn: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Andre:That’s kinky.
Reagan: Oh my God.
Brett: Just be yourself.
Reagan: “Be myself”?
Reagan: Brett, I have one day to win someone over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Brett:I’ve liked you since the moment I met you.
Andre: Eh, couple weeks.
Glenn: Six months.
Gigi: A few years.
Myc: Jury’s still out.
Brett:…
Reagan:…
Reagan: See, Brett?
Reagan:“Be yourself”. What kind of garbage advice is that?
Gigi: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Brett:Okay, but what is updog?
Glenn: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Reagan: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Myc:No, that’s an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Brett: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Reagan: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Andre: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Myc:No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Glenn:What’s a henway?
Gigi: Oh, about five pounds.
