#teenage years
I feel as if my whole life has set me up for disaster. That every day has been a push towards the edge. Every breath is buried with burden. The mornings are filled with guilt, I swallow my words for breakfast, drink my sorrows whole. The nights are meant for battles, sinking into sheets, dread mixed with dreams. Hope slips through my heart, gets lost in the broken cracks. I am clinging to loose threads, dangling over the darkness. Each passing minute is a moment spent with misery. All the years of wasted youth, the ghosts of who I’ll never be, all trail behind me. The hauntings of never really living, the reality that this world has only offered me wreckage; it’s a truth I’ve carried in my throat for far too long. So I’m stuck coughing up the chaos, growing in the gloom.
Isabel Cabrera
I can’t keep digging myself out of this grave each morning. The weight of misery mounted on my chest is too much. This bag of bones, this mess of mind and hair, this ink stained flesh; all too heavy to hold. The hope is slipping out of my fingers, threads cling to broken nails, get caught on sharp edges. Seams stitched just to come apart again, scars heal only to be reopened. I am a melted and mended child. A tattered and torn up soul. I can’t continue to drag my feet across this earth, it hands me nothing but broken promises. I’m sick of walking on shattered wishes. I am a corpse gone cold, lying in a bed made for giving up. I heal only to hurt, love only to lose, live only to survive. Let me lay here, let me forget to come back to life.
to all the queer kids who have parents who aren’t openly homophobic but still not Nice about their queerness. Its okay to feel mad about it. Just because you’re in a physically safe place doesn’t mean that it can’t be frustrating and heartbreaking to not be accepted. to feel like you have to shove yourself into a box to be loved. your feelings are valid. you deserve all the proud acceptance in the world
Spare me, for I am a doctor- he said
i think if we stopped having such high expectations for the “ideal” teenage years and perfect friend groups, a lot of us would feel better about our teenage years not being that spectacular. let’s stop acting like the only time you will be able to truly enjoy life, are those teenage years where in reality you spend years hating and doubting yourself over things that aren’t even worthy hating yourself for.
