#terrified
so uhhhh life has been crazy but i am alive and also in june i got a puppy! HERE HE IS the day i brought him home. his name is Jean-Luc after Captain Picard although we really shouldve gone with Fizzgig (name choice 2) because THATS WHO HE IS.
He is a Toy Poodle and he is The Devil. I made A Mistake.
He is extremely hard to photograph because he likes to race towards whatever phone or camera anyone is holding and try to eat it and he is CONSTANTLY MOVING.
i thought having a bc puppy previously would prepare me for the energy levels here and i was WRONG.
he is crazy smart but also not interested in food almost at all and has zero attention span and is STILL NOT TOILET TRAINED.
harley and he get along quite well, by which i mean jean-luc thinks the sun shines out of harley’s ass and wants to be near him or doing exactly what he’s doing at all times and harley tolerates him and occasionally plays bitey face and wrestling.
but he is enormously cute and enjoys being carried around like baby and i can’t wait to put him in halloween costumes this year.
I WILL POST MORE RECENT PHOTOS AND UPDATES.
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I find myself almost in tears, crying scared and sad
I feel so suicidal and I’ll start arguments and debates just so people will talk to me. I’m secluded and alone and I have no friends and I think about killing myself but I’m so afraid of dying.
Someone please help me I know I’m so fucking pathetic I’m begging for help at this point I want to give up sometimes and I can’t handle being who I am anymore. I just wish I one person would see value in me. Just one person would take the time to talk to me and understand.
When I look in the mirror I’m afraid, not unsatisfied, but scared. This isn’t who I am, this isn’t what I want to be, I’m a mutilated ghost.
I need help, people are terrifying and no one wants to share my company. I’m scared and I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing and I need to vent this I’m sorry. I just don’t want to be sorry and I don’t want to cry and I don’t want just pity I just want a friend or just someone to talk to. I can’t take this alone anymore.
20 and terrified
Average statistics basically say I have 3 more lots of this then I’m knocking on deaths door. My family history says only 2 more lots. I am honestly so scared at how fast it feels like it’s gone.
Absolutely fucking terrified of not being able to be with my girlfriend if all this shit gets even worse….we’re long distance, she’s in Michigan and I’m in Missouri, and we were planning on her moving down here this summer but now all of that is uncertain and it’s fucking terrifying as shit….I just want to be with her….
