Let me tell you bout my best friend ————————————————— The one constant in my life has been basketball. As a kid who struggled with her identity and thoughts of suicide, the basketball court was the one place I found solace. Basketball was my escape, my distraction, my salvation, and my passion. Instead of sleeping with a stuffed animal like most kids, I always had my basketball in my bed with me. If I wasn’t out playing somewhere, I was watching a game on tv while pretending I was hitting the game winner of the finals with a rolled up piece of paper I’d shoot at a trash can in the corner of my room. ————————————————— I often felt isolated and alone, struggling to make friends because I hated who I was and if it weren’t for competing in sports like basketball…I wouldn’t have had any friends at all. I’m thankful I began playing basketball because it truly saved my life. Sports are universal and bring us all together like few things can. They provide us with community, friendships, and bonds that can be hard to find in other places. Excluding trans youth from sports is dangerous because it further isolates those who already feel alienated from their peers. It’s estimated that nearly half of trans youth think about or attempt suicide. In a world that tells us we shouldn’t exist, the last thing we need is more isolation. —————————————————There are currently 16 states that have introduced legislation attempting to ban trans youth from sports activities, another 12 that are trying to ban medical care for trans individuals, as well as a lawsuit in the state of Connecticut challenging the rights of trans student athletes. We need allies to stand with us. Let our youth know that you support and love them. We all deserve equality and the ability to live our best, authentic lives. Reach out to state representatives and demand equality for trans youth. Their lives depend on it! #protecttranskids #wearehere #translivesmatter #athlete #basketball #mybestfriend #myvalentine #sports #provide #community #transisbeautiful https://www.instagram.com/p/B8jiTDSAvQO/?igshid=ndnrziaxsq4c
This is why I have been MIA; and I feel like you all deserve an explanation, you all supported my blog so generouly. I will return, but since the beginning of the year; I have been suffering depression over the state of human rights, health issues, and financial set backs. I lost my computer, which makes it extremely difficult to blog.
Share my belated birthday gift with me (that’s what I’m calling this->)
Unboxing Given Live Stage Production Items while discussing women’s rights:
We can’t change things if we don’t speak out loud and ask questions. (Im not great with political terminology so please anyone correct me if I use an incorrect term) We have a majority bipartisan Government of Democrat or Republican. On a scale of far left, to far right; our Democratic party rn falls significantly right from center. Our Republican party falls almost full far right; flirting with fascist ideals. Left = non capitalistic/ Right = Capitalism. Its so much more than capitalism though, because of seperation of Church and State. Because Capitalist values have been so over shot to the far right of the scale, and we are unbalanced by authorities with biased and conservative religious views, our highest court; The US Supreme Court is now biased and unbalanced. We are supposed to first and foremost have separation of Church and state. This goes directly back to the foundation of our separation from England. Certain human rights laws are supposed to be “settled” law, essentially meaning, they have been “tested” over and over and found to be laws in good standing, wether or not they independently appear in our Constitution. Laws like the right to an abortion, the right to decline to participate in religious ceremonies or adhere to regions views, in state sponsored environments, the right to equal medical care regardless of race sex gender class or creed.
Common sense things like an intersex or male bodied person has equal right to an abortion, as would a female bodied person. The right to birth control or personally initiated sterilization. An unwed or poor mother has an equal right to reproductive health care (pre or post). Queerness but particularly homosexuality (due to the wording of the legal definition) is infact a legal human right to the pursuit of happiness, regardless of gender expression or biological/ physiology or marriage rights. POC have equal access to reproductive health care and autonomy, without coeersion or state sponsored interference (ie disproportionate encouraging of sterilization) Yes this was a problem up until the 60s, and in some states into the 70s. Stimulus were given to wed white mothers, while ethnic mothers were disproportionately encouraged to undergo sterilization in order to receive benefits like Healthcare, childcare, educational support, and food stability from the government. Or the one that ties it all together; you cannot use or express religious views as a means to exert authority over another person, in a state sponsored environment. Ie you can’t make little Johnny say a prayer with the coach, or fear getting kicked off the football team.
Our Supreme Court had a draft, called an “opinion” leaked, a few days ago showing that they are set to overturn abortion rights, next month. The thing about “opinion drafts” is that they are informally written; almost like reading a transcript of the whole conversation between the judges. The draft clearly shows not only religious bias, but that the judges are now just creating and stripping laws; based on simply how they personally feel concerning a law. You can imagine; basically the highest court in the land is making decisions off whatever the hell they personally think. On top of that; many of these judges were recommended by Trump during his stay, and these people share eugenic ideological views that are racist and misogynistic; going back to AIFR propaganda. Ie the standards ingrained so deeply in our country, through colonial mindsets that ‘only “fit” persons should procreate, and that this is how American ECONOMIC values thrive.’ Which of course is insane and affects every citizen, yet is how this is so prevalent in far right capitalistic values. Even our Democratic party is now right leaning. This is also why age of consent laws are so important and are now at risk, and their undoing disproproportionaly benefitting heterosexual men concerning women’s rights/marriage. Which hypocritically undermines Seperation of Church and State through far right Christian majority, family planning fundamentals.
It’s not a matter of if one personally or religiously supports making abortions illegal; it’s that it’s directly tied to religious doctrine, meaning they’re supporting it as falling under the scope of Constitutional rights, but its blatantly coming from personal religious views. This is a gross abuse of twisting the Constitution. The judges in the opinion draft are recorded as stating that the Constitution itself never addressed abortion, so one can’t create laws concerning supporting abortion. (Then in the same breath, duscussing taking steps to create restrictions, AGAINST this right, which is obvious hypocracy)That’s why the laws are settled laws! The Constitution was written in a completely different American society than modern day. The judges know this, but they are twisting the purposeful function of our Constitution and Bill of Rights, to learn and grow with the people, to suit their personal opinions. The majority of US citizens do not support what they are planning on doing; I think at last count it was almost 70% but they are moving forward anyways, which is an outright breech of the Judges’ function as servants in a democracy.
Its so intertwined with women’s rights; it’s not just abortion legalities that would almost instantly unravel. Upfront; women would no longer be able to aquire reproductive health care unless it favored pregnancy potential. This then affects even persons who could potentially have future pregnancies, who say want to have hysterectomies, or be on birth control. And further brings into play, if the State has the right to deem if it is medically necessary, which circles back to religious and personal views, and seperating Church and State. Yet our Healthcare system is privatized…..so again the hypocracy. Theres an abundance of conflict of interest as many of these law markers have stock in pharmaceutical and medical companies. Controlling women’s rights, particularly the institutions of marriage and pregnancy, creates revenues for them. This obviously affects restrictions on what does or does not constitute legal birth control. Which affects male bodied and intersex person’s autonomy; if they do or do not wish to retain the ability to become pregnant. It expressly affects what constitutes rape. Specifically between a married man and woman. Whatever they now declare IS a man or woman. People forget, it was legal in the states, up until a little over a generation ago; for a man to commit non consensual acts against his legal wife. This immediately not only affects female bodied citizens, but the laws tied to these settled laws, are also tied to laws that make homosexuality legal. Specifically addressing by legal term; the act of sodomy, same sex marriage, and even cohabitation. It by default impacts queer people in general, mostly intersex non binary and trans persons. If the court strips these settled laws; it throws us into legal regression immediately concerning what determines sex and gender.
So just being outside of a binary legal definition of sex or gender, technically would make it illegal to express yourself or even live in your own home as a person outside of that legal definition. Even teaching your children sex, gender, and body positivity, has already been stripped in several states since the beginning of the year. One woman on state level was already charged with murder, for obtaining an abortion, but fortunately on the federal level; it was over ruled. What is happening right now, means it would not have been over ruled and she would be sitting in prison on a felony. Several parents across the country have already had their children removed from their care, and are facing felony charges for seeking gender affirming medical care for their children. If these settled laws are over turned next month; their charges would be valid. They are currently in court and the State in at least one case; appears to be stalling, as if hoping to see these human rights regress, so they can move forward with the charges. Other cases have been dismissed; as the laws still currently protect the defendants.
Right now, people are focused on oh my god; they can’t just overturn abortion rights. They’re only just beginning to get a glimpse of everything else it over turns or places such tight restrictions on, it might aswell be over turned. These laws aswell are also connected to separation of church and state. It has already begun to strip transgender health care, our freedom of speech to use words that are indicative of sexuality and gender out side of a designated binary, within a state sponsored environment such as a government institution or a school. The human right to just exist as a trans (umbrella) person in such an environment. Infact last week a Republican Representative openly questioned on the floor, wether or not a fellow representative who is known to be transgender, even had the right to use the bathroom at all within the government building, because that is indirectly expression of gendered terminology. Ie it says male or female on the bathroom doors. They were alluding to questioning the technical legality of wether or not this person could exist as transgender within the building. Ie can transgender persons legally function as government officials. It’s overgeneralization is focused on the hot take of bathroom laws, which is blatant misogyny, affecting almost always feminine males and trans women; but it immediately affects so much more. Right now another case is in the court, concerning a football coach and his right to lead students in prayer, at school (ie state) sponsored games. The laws that are being returned and likely to be overturned, include wording allowing for coercion. Meaning an authority figure such as a teacher in a State sponsored school could soon have the legal right to require or at least coerce their students to participate in religious acts, and be subjected to their own religious personal views. This then affects views on gender, genderoles, sexuality, and marriage.
Recognizing how dangerous a turning point this is, is not an attack on religion. It’s not an attack on one’s personal beliefs. It’s that these laws are in place, or are “settled” through “test” to create inclusion and equality through seperating Church from State/capitalism from personal views against the acutal majority vote. The bias comes from people in positions of authority clearly using their collective religious or personal views (obviously monetarily driven through far right capitalism) to hypocritically NOT do their jobs. If the law was functioning correctly, these authorities would be evaluated as to wether or not they are even fit to perform their duties, due to what is now absolutely (per the leak) clear conflict of interest and abuse of power. Yet because they are judges in the Supreme Court; no one really has the power to stop them. Stripping women’s rights, then strips everyones human rights by default, and restricts/regresses LGBTQIA+ rights, and again by default unhinges the Seperation of Church and State. It would very quickly make marital rape potentially legal, gay panic defense indisputable, intersex existence LEGALLY unacknowledged, same sex or gender non conforming marriage up for debate based on a legal definition of gender, male homosexual sex illegal, forced pregnancy legal, denial of equal rights to reproductive health care, and all of that is a round about way of making cis women and AFABs second class citizens. It’s not even a wonder why these people are so concerned about transgender women being able to use public women’s restrooms but not transgender men, or keeping legal authority over female bodied persons being able to become pregnant.
This is 100% Given related. If you consume BL or enjoy stories like Given that are not tropes but realistically depict our narratives as men outside of the made up cis/het binary; *looking right at Haruki* you must remember the irl population it involves. Protecting women’s autonomy is all human rights, and violations of those rights, entirely impact the irl people these stories portray. What’s happening in the US is that our highest officials are knowingly PURPOSELY committing unconstitutional crimes against women and female bodied persons and everyone inbetween to push their views on family planning, to exalt their status as cis het men and control the economy for their own personal gain. It’s not even a woke thot after this leak. The biggest test of proof is property value and ownership rn in the US. They are absolutely trying to put us all back into the 50s and white/straight wash the Cival Rights movement. These men were highschool and college students in the 50s; they’re seeking to force the future they were promised by the racist and sexist government of their youths. Another point that hasn’t really hit most people yet; is that these settled laws being in place, are not only to protect against sexism and classism, but indirectly ALSO affect xenophobia, racism, red redlining, the right for all religious expression, discrimination and hate crimes. Soooo the guys in Given could irl be criminals, institutionalized and lobodimized, in the near American future these judges seek. Ristuka’s sister, Haruki’s sister would immediately be questioned for their association, as “fit women”. This is not at all far fetched. This is why abortion laws have been soooo precious to us all; they affect EVERYTHING if they come undone. It’s not actually about abortion; that’s just the main law they’re using to restrict all of the above, as LGBTQIA+ and marriage equality *for cis het women too* is directly tied together through seperation of Church and State, and Healthcare.
I’m an extremely genderfluid and usually more feminine presenting gay male. What the hell am I supposed to do? By this summer; I could quite possibly be told I can’t legally exist or marry or have a family. I should not get a privilege pass just because I can’t make a baby. That’s why my pov is women are the true authority and should be fought for by everyone, including gay men. Gay men should be the first to have their backs on this, and not for selfish reasons; but because their autonomy defines our rights as human beings, regardless of sexuality or gender.
K, I know this isn’t my usual content, but I haven’t seen you all in almost a month soooo
Wanna seeeeee what I got!?
Isn’t that doooooorbs!? ❤ K so I love sea horses and to me they represent the normalcy and beauty of the non binary in nature If you didn’t know; the [males] carry, develope, and birth the babies. In light of recent human and constitutional rights violations in the United States, with the “dont say gay” infringements, which puts already vulnerable kids and their care givers at extreme risk; if you’re looking for a positive, non aggressive, scientific way to broach gender fluidity with really anyone ….point them in the direction of a children’s book called Mister Seahorse by Eric Carle ->
Not only is the artwork beautiful and INTERACTIVE !! But it gently leads the reader through different gender roles and non conforming fluidity of many sea creatures ❤
I also got this insanely cravable mug!!! I desire nothing more than utilitarian art !! Like the table for instance It’s not dirty; it looks like water!!
I also got this little Lego figure for the Year of the Tiger we’re gonna pretend it’s Wei Wuxian
Annnnd my favorite!!! ->
I got an amonite for my Pisces sun and a tiger’s eye for my Leo moon
Ah haha!!! Bijou kitty ran to “safe” behind Dad My dog Honey is like OH SHIT!! My bad… She knows I won’t save her lolz LOOK at the fear in those eyes!! [This was taken over my shoulder blind!! I’m sideways in the chair]
Alright happy end of Pictures and thank you for baring with me while I took some time away ❤
Since the “Don’t Say Gay” bill was passed today, I think it’s time for some Malicious Compliance. From what I might wrongfully understand, this bill is vague enough that heterosexual topics can be reported as well. If no one is punished for heterosexual talk, but are punished for talking about queer things, then that sets up a discrimination lawsuit.
There are people having fits underneath this post on IG because he said “non birthing parent.” Like whole ass meltdowns
This guy is being a good partner and a good parent and trying to help other folks be good partners and parents… And folks are losing their shit because the man uses inclusive language? In the year of Our Lady, 2022? Madness.
[We’re gonna ignore the big ol’ red flags in this username, um, but I will answer your question.
If you want to exclude trans women from womanhood, you have to define womanhood in a way that excludes transwomen. And that can’t be done without also excluding many cis women.
If you’re gonna say that trans women are not women, you have to figure out what makes someone a women or not. If it’s “a vagina”: lots of transwomen have those. If it’s “the ability to give birth”: lots of cis women can’t do that. If it’s “experiencing misogyny in a patriarchy”, then womanhood no long exists when you get rid of patriarchy, which is… a weird take; but also trans women experience a shit ton of misogyny.
No one is saying that the trans woman’s experience is exactly the same as the cis woman’s experience, but the cis woman’s experience isn’t the same as the cis woman’s experience either. There’s no common denominator that all of us AFAB women have that trans women don’t, except being assigned at birth.]
“These cases include pregnant women who have been arrested for falling down stairs, drinking alchol, giving birth at home, being in a ‘dangerous’ location, having HIV, experiencing a drug dependency problem, or attempting suicide,” the organization tweeted. “The majority of women subjected to pregnancy-based prosecutions are low-income women, drug-using women, and women of color.”
-fae
“Ms. Poolaw’s case is a tragedy,” NAPW said. “She has suffered the trauma of pregnancy loss, has been jailed for a year and a half during a pandemic, and was charged and convicted of a crime without basis in law or science.”
Laws like this endanger and criminalize people for being vulnerable.
I just watched a clip of a Texas state senator, believing her mic was off, calling my friend and incredibly respected colleague a pervert, DURING his powerful testimony against the anti-trans bill which ultimately cleared the Texas Senate.
He has a PhD in psychology, is currently working on his MD, led the first efforts to evaluate the impact of testosterone on trans men’s mental health, is regarded within the APA as an expert on trans mental health, has worked in both clinical and advocacy roles for trans folks and youth in particular, and was testifying largely as an expert on the impact the bill would have on trans people’s medical and mental health.
He had already given evidence-based testimony arguing that this bill would lead to the deaths of trans youth. He was there representing the scientific communities that know the harm these bills can have, and he was standing up for the most vulnerable in the community.
After listening to all this, while he was speaking about the misinformation associated with the “protection” arguments of anti-trans bathroom bills, this Senator said OUT LOUD (albeit under her breath), “you’re the pervert” solely, one must assume, because he is openly transgender.
She unsurprisingly voted in support of the bill, which as I mentioned, ultimately passed the Texas Senate along party lines.
This has me angry and hurt. It is also in some ways laughable that anyone could think of Colt Keo-Meier (or me for that matter) as a pervert. That *that* is what was taken away from his powerful testimony that she must have chosen not to listen to. But it’s a reminder that we are up against more than just ignorance. There is vitriolic hate and rage toward trans people that, while related to ignorance, is far more dangerous because it shuts off one’s ability to listen and learn.
A lot of trans people are seeing the headlines (from liberal or trans media only, of course) about Dr. Keo-Meier being called a pervert. Some of them have and will listen to it, like I did. I have enough people in my life who see me and respect me to protect me from most of the negative impact of this, but many folks aren’t so lucky.
For those of us in pockets of trans-positivity and acceptance, it can seem silly to have to say things like “TRANS PEOPLE AREN’T PERVERTS” and “TRANS PEOPLE ARE NORMAL” or “TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS” but in all actuality, these are messages that need to be out there and loud.
Non-trans folks (aka cisgender people) need to examine what they think and feel about trans people. Have a real talking to yrself if the words freak, pervert, weirdo, or abnormal crop up. Expand yr understanding and divorce trans people from those biases in yr mind. Then get out and do it with the people around you. It isn’t always safe for us to challenge anti-trans biases or ignorance. We need yr help. And all the while, please flood yr social media and communities with messages of trans people’s worth and beauty. Volunteer in the community. Donate to trans orgs and trans people’s crowd funding. Look for art and writing and entertainment by trans people and support it and share it with non-trans folks.
Work harder to recognize, celebrate, and love us, because the people who hate us and think we are perverts are working very hard and getting pretty loud.
Today is Transgender day of Remembrance #TDOR. Today we remember the trans folks we have lost to anti trans violence. Their lives mattered. #TransLivesMatter. We must end the structural violence which takes far too many trans lives, 22 trans women this year in the U.S. alone the deadliest year for trans people on record, probably because of better reporting on who these folks really were. We must say their names. We must continue the work to end the intersectional structural violence which took their lives. #NotOneMore
As pride month 2019 gets a rolling, I felt the pull to share some thoughts…
So, if you’ve tuned in late, here’s what you missed: I officially came out as a transwoman in late 2014/early 2015. At that time and for quite some time before, I was pushing myself to be an all american, hyper masculine person. It was my attempt at meeting expectations; of fitting in and keeping a low profile. I had gotten to this place of self loathing do in large part (but not exclusively) to an early attempt at transition that went very, VERY bad.
I was in DEEP denial to be sure, but I was also so, so scared. Scared of losing the love of my life, my family and friends – terrified of the unknown… of becoming homeless (again) because I wasn’t sure it would be possible to keep/get a job. What would it do to my art career?? Would I be expected to leave my life behind and start over? From SCRATCH?? I came from such rough origins of discrimination, othering, abuse and bullying, that I didn’t know if I could handle yet ANOTHER set of obstacles. Especially, when I had worked so hard to have a good life that I could be proud of. I think this is a common concern among those of us who transition late in life.
I suppose, you could say that I had become comfortable in my little gender prison. It was the devil I knew, so to speak. We were very poor, growing up, and I was very frequently left unsupervised and this often put me in harms way for one reason or another. But thankfully, the boy was a survivor. He could take a beating and give one back. He was reactionary, tough, steely, and driven. Determined to live long enough for everything to finally make sense, so I could have a shot at peace.
A raw, angry nerve, if there ever was one.
But he was also kind, compassionate, and hell bound to be better than the sum of his parts. And if I’m really honest here, it wasn’t always the worst thing; riding shotgun with him for as long as I did. There were a lot of crazy adventures! Good friends – some truly fond memories associated with the guy. I’ve always lusted for life experiences. These, not only inform me as I continue though my life, but amass to a treasure trove of moments that I wouldn’t trade for anything. That said, living inauthenticly was slowly rotting me from the inside out.
I tried VERY hard to be heteronormative, and cisgendered. I ignored myself, and focused on everyone else. My education, my career… I kept busy and hoped that my gender conflicts would simply go away like my childhood asthma. I believed for so long that it couldn’t be any different than it was, that it eventually became the truth. Until, finally, it wasn’t. So you can imagine how HARD coming out was.
It was me claiming myself, FOR myself, for the first time in my life – EVER, and facing the reality of who I actually am.
This is why I get so annoyed by people who refer to transitioning as a “choice” or a “lifestyle,” by the way. What a stupid, hurtful thing to say to someone! I didn’t choose being transgender anymore than I chose to have been born in New York, or to have blue eyes or to be allergic to crab. Every year – GLOBALLY – hundreds of transfolk are murdered, just for trying to live their best lives in their own damn skin. That’s. Fucked up.
That’s 1.4 MILLION or so Americans getting getting denied healthcare, being harassed by law enforcement, losing their jobs, and being shunned by family/friends/spiritual communities because why? People can’t wrap their head around the complexity of gender?!
But yeah, it’s a party. Woo-fucking-hoo. (Insert facepalm, here.)
The reality is, we humans exist on spectrums. Gender, sexuality, physicality; like a person’s identity, we are never only “one thing or the other.” And that’s GOOD because diversity and life experience. And for real, this is how it’s been the entirety of human existence. The idea of a binary, is an archetype. Like roman gods. Mars, for instance, is not an actual person, but rather a representation of a TYPE of person. A mentality. A glorified ideal. Such is the ideal of “binary man” and “binary woman.”
It’s all a gray area people, try to keep up.
One of the most beautiful things about being transgender (IMHO), is its intersectionality. It’s a kind of equalizer. What that means, is that ANYONE, can be born trans, regardless of cultural/ethnic origin, political affiliation, religious views, social standing, ableness, intelligence, health…. – in a sense, trans people are all people.
And THAT, dear internet, is BEAUTIFUL to me. And that is why I am free and have pride and what, next weekend, I’ll be celebrating.
Stay strong, live your best life and have a happy pride. <3
IT was snowing in Maine on Jan. 9. I’d been to the dentist’s the day before. The staff there were pleasant enough when I changed genders 12 years ago. “We’ll just change your forms,” the receptionist had said, cheerfully. “It’s no problem.”
That night, Papi Edwards, 20, a transgender woman of color, was shot to death outside a hotel in Louisville, Ky.
If you’d told me in 2000, as a transgender woman just coming out, that I was a person of privilege, I’d have angrily lectured you about exactly how heavy the burden I’d been carrying was. It had nearly done me in: the shame, the secrecy, the loneliness. It had not yet occurred to me that other burdens, carried by other women, could be weightier.
On Jan. 17, I moved into a new apartment on 106th and West End in Manhattan, in anticipation of the spring semester at Barnard College, where I teach English. My son Zach came down with me, helping to carry my luggage. He was heading back to college the next day. We had lunch at an Ethiopian restaurant called Awash, on Amsterdam. I pointed out the window at the building across the street, where I’d lived with the screenwriter Charlie Kaufman in the early 1980s. I wasn’t out as transgender then; I couldn’t imagine it. Yet here I was, 30 years later, a Barnard professor, having lunch with my son, who is a drama major at Vassar.
Lamia Beard, a 30-year-old black trans woman, was shot early that morning in Norfolk, Va. It was the weekend before the Martin Luther King Jr. federal holiday.
Feminist scholars write of the concept of “intersectionality” — the way people who occupy multiple oppressed identities can be understood only in terms of their sum, rather than as a set of independent experiences. As two trans women, Ms. Beard and I had some common experiences. But the differences between us have to be understood not only in terms of race but also in the way the oppressions generated by race and gender are bound together.
It snowed hard on Jan. 26. The subways closed that night. The day before I’d gone to services at Riverside Church. Sitting in the pews, staring at stained glass, I’d felt the power of God shining on me like a bright light.
Later, I talked to a friend about the thing I’d felt. My friend, an astrophysicist at Columbia, is a trans woman, too. We are both white.
They found Ty Underwood’s body in her car that morning. She was a black trans woman, a nursing assistant who lived in Tyler, Tex.
Like a lot of white people, a lot of the time I’m not aware of having “white privilege.” In a similar way, I can tell you that I wasn’t aware of having “male privilege,” either, in the years before transition. It’s something you come to understand only when it’s gone, like the first time I walked down an empty street alone after midnight as a woman, and heard a man’s heavy footsteps behind me.
On Jan. 31, my wife came down from Maine. We went to see the movie “Selma” at the AMC theater on West 84th Street. There, we saw the actor playing Dr. King say, “It is unacceptable that they use their power to keep us voiceless.”
Firefighters found Yazmin Vash Payne that day in an apartment in Los Angeles. She’d died of multiple stab wounds, reportedly the third trans woman killed in Los Angeles in four months.
On Feb. 1, I spent the day grading papers. That morning I worshiped at Riverside again. Sitting there listening to the carillon, I remembered the words my mother used to say: Love will prevail.
Around the time I was at Riverside, Taja Gabrielle DeJesus was found dead in a stairwell in San Francisco. She’d been stabbed. A trans woman of color in her 30s, she was a member of Bayview Church. Her mother described her as “beautiful inside and out.”
The 2012 National Transgender Discrimination Survey reported that trans people faced pervasive bias in housing and employment and suffered from higher rates of suicide. In almost every area, black trans people reported that they were doing worse than white trans people.
On Feb. 11, I appeared on MSNBC with the anchor Thomas Roberts and the actress Judith Light, who stars in the Amazon series “Transparent,” about a family with a transgender parent. We talked about the progress being made on transgender issues. But the progress isn’t equal for everyone.
Penny Proud, a 21-year-old trans woman of color, was shot to death the day before, in New Orleans.
On Feb. 16 Barnard — an all-women’s college — had a community forum for students, alumni, faculty and staff members to talk about the issue of admitting transgender women. I spoke at the event, and told everyone to open their hearts.
Kristina Gomez Reinwald, also known as Kristina Grant Infiniti, was found dead the day before in Miami. She was a transgender Latina in her mid-40s. A Miami TV station reported that, since there were no signs of forced entry in her home, she may have known her killer — a person whose heart, one might guess, had not been opened.
I talked to Caitlyn Jenner by phone for the first time on May 18. She struck me as a kind soul, from a very different world than my own, but determined to do good. “We don’t want people dying over this issue,” she told me.
Londyn Chanel, a 21-year-old black trans woman, was found dead in North Philadelphia that night of stab wounds. One of her friends told a local station, “She had a heart of gold.”
On May 30, I was in San Francisco for a meeting of the board of Glaad, the L.G.B.T. advocacy group.
Mercedes Williamson, a 17-year-old trans woman, reportedly disappeared that same night in Rocky Creek, Ala. Her body was found a few days later, in a field behind the house of the alleged murderer’s father.
On July 21, my wife and I were in a Los Angeles restaurant with the transgender minister Allyson Robinson. “God knows us,” she told me, “before we know ourselves.”
India Clarke, a 25-year-old trans woman of color, was found beaten to death in Tampa that morning. A local station referred to her as a “man dressed as a woman.” Her father said: “The Lord made us this way. It’s a shame that we could lose the life because of who we are.”
Two days later, I spent an evening on the set of the Amazon series “Transparent” on the Paramount lot. My son, who knows all about having a transgender parent, is working on the show as a production assistant.
On Aug. 8, I went to dinner at the Village Inn in Belgrade Lakes, Me. The inn is across the lake from our house. My wife and I traveled there by boat.
Amber Monroe, 20, a trans woman of color, was killed in Detroit that day. Someone shot her as she was getting out of a car near Palmer Park.
In the last three weeks, news reports have come out about the deaths of at least five more trans or gender-nonconforming people including Shade Schuler, in Dallas; Kandis Capri, in Phoenix; Ashton O’Hara, in Detroit; Elisha Walker, in Smithfield, N.C.; and Tamara Dominguez, in Kansas City, Mo.
My mother told me that love would prevail, and for me it has, as it often does for people of privilege in this country, people who can find themselves insulated from injustice by dint of race or class or education or accident of birth.
For many trans women, though, especially those of color, something other than love prevails: loss. Did their lives matter any less than mine?
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Jennifer Finney Boylan, a contributing opinion writer, is a professor of English at Barnard College and the author of “Stuck in the Middle With You: Parenthood in Three Genders.”
“Some of them say that we’re sick, or crazy, and some of them think that we’re the most gorgeous, special things on earth.” – Venus Xtravaganza . Picture: Venus Xtravaganza (May 22, 1965 – December 21, 1988), center, c. 1988. Photo c/o Queensland Art Gallery. [TW] . Venus Xtravaganza, who was born fifty-two years ago today, was among the legendary children of the New York City drag ball scene featured in the 1990 documentary “Paris is Burning.” Venus, a trans woman who relied on survival (i.e., sex) work was murdered by a client before the documentary was completed; her death shed light on the ever-present threat of violence faced by trans women, and particularly trans women of color, in America. . Venus, who left home as a teenager, was accepted into the House of Xtravaganza in 1983, and she quickly made a name for herself in Harlem’s ball culture. In that scene, where, as one writer put it, “the allure of costume, high fashion, status, and wealth combined to form an enveloping world of love and acceptance,” Venus’ ambitions of finding a rich husband were within the status quo. But, as a number of queer theorists point out, Venus articulated her dreams in a way that emphasized the gross inequities faced by trans women of color: “I would like to be a spoiled rich white girl,” she said. “They get what they want, whenever they want it. They don’t have to really struggle with finances, nice things, nice clothes, and they don’t have to have that as a problem.” . In her 1993 book, “Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of ‘Sex,’” preeminent gender theorist Judith Butler discussed “Paris is Burning” and Venus specifically as illustrative of the performative nature of gender, race, and class; Butler’s work inspired academic criticism that led to an ongoing discussion regarding the painful intersection of norms and prejudices that trans and gender nonconforming people are forced to confront. . Venus Xtravaganza was killed on December 21, 1988; she was twenty-two. Her murder remains unsolved. #lgbthistory #HavePrideInHistory #VenusXtravaganza #TransLivesMatter #Resist
my last pride drawing goes to Nomi & Amanita, also from @sense8 , reminding us that love knows no boundaries - - #sketch #draw #artoftheday #minimalistdrawing #illustration #digitalart #lgbtq #pridemonth #lgbtqcommunity #lgbtpridemonth #sense8 #translivesmatter #nomiandamanita https://www.instagram.com/p/CB5l5m8jK1l/?igshid=1k5p58s71d270
We want to recognize, hold up, and join in solidarity with our imprisoned and detained community members who face lack of access to necessary medicine, violence at the hands of guards and other folks in the prison and psychiatric systems, and lack of protection and agency around pronouns and gender identity. We honor and celebrate you and your resiliency though you cannot be with us tonight. Your community supports you and loves you.
We want to recognize, hold up, and join in solidarity with our documented and undocumented immigrant community members who face incarceration, deportation, and brutality at the hands of Immigrant and Customs Enforcement, the NYPD, and the larger community. We honor and celebrate your resiliency. Your community supports you and loves you.
We want to recognize, grieve and honor all of the trans and gender non-conforming people who were murdered in brutal acts of hate violence, as well as the people we lost to the violences of homelessness, lack of healthcare, and lack of resources. We keep you in our hearts and minds as we continue to fight for Trans and gender non-conforming people of color liberation, and liberation for all peoples. We honor and celebrate you tonight. Your community loves and misses you.
We want to recognize, grieve and honor all of the Trans and gender non-conforming people of color who are murdered, detained, arrested and attacked in wars, occupations, genocide and through all acts of military violence and imperialism. We commit to fighting military violence, colonization and occupation of all peoples. Your community loves you and supports you.
We want to recognize, lift up and join in solidarity with youth who are Trans and gender non-conforming people of color and face barriers to accessing education, safe housing, health care, resources and agency to make decisions for themselves. Your community supports you and loves you.
We want to recognize, hold up and join in solidarity with our elders who are trans and gender-non-conforming people of color; they have seen many histories of violence, made new histories possible, and continue to share stories, share wisdom, create space and be fierce. We honor and celebrate your survival. Your community supports you and loves you.
We want to recognize, hold up and join in solidarity with trans and gender-non-conforming people of color who are “disabled” / have different abilities, who face invisibility, inaccessibility, discrimination and a violently exclusive healthcare system. We honor and celebrate your resiliency. Your community supports you and loves you.
We want to recognize and hold space for the reality that violence is systemic and has deep impacts on Trans and gender non-conforming communities of color. We commit ourselves to struggling to challenge violence in all of its forms, and hold space for healing and transformation for all survivors of violence and all people who cause harm.
We want to lift up and recognize the power, beauty and fierceness of trans and gender non-conforming people of color. As we continue to heal from the violences we experience, let’s also celebrate our fabulous and resilient family across the globe.
Look y'all we made it to the @NYTimes for slaying the #WomensMarch Stage with the Mothers of Movement and @wondaland! #mrsbikoworldtour #janellemonae #blacktranslivesmatter #translivesmatter #chernobiko #Folkslikeus #whyimarch #imarch4 (at The Women’s March on Washington - District of Columbia)
Happy Birthday Angela Davis. Thank you for leading this movement with such grace and wisdom. I’ll never forget sharing space with you at the #WomensMarch or your insightful words. “At a challenging moment in our history, let us remind ourselves that we the hundreds of thousands, the millions of women, trans-people, men and youth who are here at the Women’s March, we represent the powerful forces of change that are determined to prevent the dying cultures of racism, hetero-patriarchy from rising again.
#AngelaDavis #BlackTransLivesMatter #TransLivesMatter #FolksLikeUs #MrsBikoWorldTour #ChernoBiko #WomensMarch (at The Women’s March on Washington - District of Columbia)
Happy Birthday Angela Davis. Thank you for leading this movement with such grace and wisdom. I’ll never forget sharing space with you at the #WomensMarch or your insightful words.
“At a challenging moment in our history, let us remind ourselves that we the hundreds of thousands, the millions of women, trans-people, men and youth who are here at the Women’s March, we represent the powerful forces of change that are determined to prevent the dying cultures of racism, hetero-patriarchy from rising again.
#AngelaDavis #BlackTransLivesMatter #TransLivesMatter #FolksLikeUs #MrsBikoWorldTour #ChernoBiko #WomensMarch (at The Women’s March on Washington - District of Columbia)
BTS with the mothers of the movement and WONDALAND. Thank you for having me. #BlackTransLivesMatter
#MrsBikoWorldTour #BlackLivesMatter #TransLivesMatter #janellemonae #TrayvonMartin #EricGarner #JordanDavis #WomensMarch #WhyIMarch #IMarchFor #Jidenna #HiddenFigures #Repost @wondaland with @repostapp ・・・ #Repost @dtodd ・・・ Say their name! Say their name! Say their name!
#MrsBikoWorldTour at @WomensMarch wouldn’t have been possible w/o the support of my supermodel friend @harinef. Thanks for opening the door for #FolksLikeUs #BlackTransLivesMatter #TransLivesMatter
