Doubt

I doubt my head

But my paintbrush doesnt.

My paintbrush rejoices every time it parades across the page

My paintbrush loves what I create with him

.

I dont feel creative

But my guitar doesnt know this

My guitar only knows the smiles it has brought to people

My guitar only knows the feeling of my fingers dancing across its fretboard

My guitar loves the sounds I create

.

I hate my past

But my lover doesnt

She doesnt see the scars the way I do

And where I would hate the scars I left in myself she presses her lips agaisnt them

Where I would see pain and mistakes she sees the hand of God shapping me to who I am

My love doesnt see my past, only my future

.

I doubt myself at the best of times

But what I create, those who love me

It has always been enough

For they dont see my doubt

They only see me

M.E.

You are either a hundred miles away

Or just within my arms

You’re either music on the radio,

Or my playlist in my headphones.

You’re either the laugh I have been needing all day,

Or holding me when i have nothing i could possibly say.

You’re not two things though,

You’re just home, and thats all I want you to be.

Good poetry is like good music

It doesn’t demand your attention

Instead it brings attention to your soul

Read me

Inside and outside.

Know my thesis as well as you know my cover.

To those who dont know me describe my font like only you know it;

To those who do, decypher the odd bits that they dont even understand.

Read me inbetween my stanzas,

Between the lines where even though im not saying anything directly.

You still understand me.

Let me be your author.

Read me.

5, 4, 3…

It was five, five before you would find your time had long run out at the end of the line, and with a rushed goodbye be wisked away with both of us wishing that you could stay.

Four, on the floor, as I searched once more, all my studio apartment, for your charging chord. To be the hero one last time; to see that awestruck look in your eyes, and make one last worry dissapear in time

Three, had to be, you and me and he, not allowed to get to close, but still wanting nothing but each others company. Sneaking hand holding in the back of the car, as we shot across distances, however far.

Two, me and you, black and blue, torn up from a day that hell had surely grew, but both of us knowing what yesterday knew. Just how to get through this, when it was just me and you

One. Second to none. A number infinately more than zero, but only by a small sum. The amount of days left together. We will spend it on the run. Or we’ll spend it in the sun. Thinking up all the things we should have done.

Zero, back to five, I wish you didnt have to go. But you’ll miss work and school, I know, I know… But I’ll still be tracing the outline of your silhouette, and I close my eyes as it grows quiet in my head. And I’ll dream of you, come on you stupid sheep. Five four three two one… Sleep.

Pause

A soft wind blows through the grass,

As soft as her fingers through my hair,

It rattles the chains of the nearby swingset,

Accompaniment to the quiet sounds of trafic on an empty street.

Her smile is cool and gentle,

I see its outline while squinting up at her,

The blue sky halos her head like a crown,

My head is resting on her lap.

I kiss her hands as she smooths my stubbly face,

The whole world erases itself, save this park on the side of the road

It’s a good afternoon….

(A)maze

I dont think I’m alone

I’m just alone in my thoughts

Behind these eyes

Is a maze in which I am lost

But behind your eyes

I see only you

So I’m clawing my way out

To get lost in you

Every night feels like an ocean ride

When i fall asleep next to you

Softly held by the tide

When you hold me like only you do

The welcoming warm of the sea breaze

Is the soft sound of your breathing

The lazy current that pulls me

Is knowing i have just what I am needing

Every night is a ocean ride

when i fall asleep next to you

Softly held in the moonlight

By the one i love, you

Dorky love poem 6/19/18

Most important meal of the day,

Last we share before I see you again

Every day with you felt unreal,

Like tea with cinimon

Come back soon my love

Let me hold you in my arms again

And tell you dorky poems

That will fill my heart within

Suddenly

Suddenly its one a.m.

I wake up in your arms again

The whole room is silent except the fan

And i know now,

I never want to leave again.

yesthereisnoexplination:

Half

My drink is half gone, and I’m half full.

And the sun’s half up, and my rooms half cold.

And my beds half empty, but my heart is full.

And the doors half open, and it stirs my soul.

As my eyes are half open, yours are staring at me.

“Sorry I had the night shift.” You say half apologetically.

And you climb half into to bed, just enough to give me a half kiss,

“my shift starts in an hour.” I say my lips half leaving your lips.

“Then hold me for half an hour?” You say with half a plea.

“okay, but then I have to shower.” I say half heartedly

And I lay there in the silence, your body half pressed to mine.

And I smile as you smile, knowing your completely mine.

And we lay in our apartment, with rent half past due.

And through half a breath we whisper. I love you

Only a little while longer

Only a little while longer

Then I am home where I belong

In the arms of one who knows me

As content as the night is long.

36 hours then your beside me

And I can hold you touch your face

My love only a little while longer

Till I am in the right place.

353

You whispered

And my heart screamed

That is love