#actuallyace

seashellronan:

no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone

gatikmaverick:

I’m the asexual who was sent to conversion therapy as a young teen.

I’m the asexual who thought they were messed up, and broken, and all alone.

I’m the asexual who was told by people who I thought were my friends that God didn’t approve of my ‘alternative’ lifestyle.

I’m the asexual who felt lost in the clothing isles because I didn’t want to look ‘sexy’.

I’m the asexual that struggles with depression, fear, and inadequacy.

I’m the asexual that is being blocked off from resources. Or that you want out of the LGBTQ+ community.

I’m the asexual who is being negatively affected by the ace discourse.

I’m the asexual facing erasure, invalidation, and hate.

Please consider this.

Aphobia exists.

If you don’t believe it does then you may very well be contributing to it.

Please think of the people you are effecting.

Be kind.

Be compassionate.

Please.

Don’t read the reblogs. Christ.

“Demisexuality does not refer to the active restraint or repression of sexual desires or actions.”

Being demisexual means you genuinely can’t comprehend why people cheat on their partners in movies. Or struggle being faithful….

Me: “I generally don’t enjoy the act of, or want sex. It hurts and I feel used. I would rather hold your hand and sit beside you.”

Shouting exclusionist: “YEAH BUT SEX HURTS FOR EVERY WOMAN YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL.”

“Do you like spicy or salty foods?”

⚪️ spicy foods

⚪️ salty foods

⚪️ spicy AND salty foods

other

We like sweet foods!

To be a part of the LGBT community, exclusionists say you’re either sexually attracted to men,women, or both.

They never considered neitherorother to be an option.

I’ve never experienced oppression or discrimination by calling myself bisexual.

But I have been bullied, verbally abused, and called a freak because of my asexuality.

It’s incredibly rare that someone chooses to be in a relationship that doesn’t involve sex. We are rejected by our partners & love interests & even by the LGBT community, when all we asked from them was acceptance. Even if you’re LGBT, you’re expected to have sexual relationships with someone.

Regardless, we are deserving of romantic connection & love. It can be lonely, being excluded from relationships, the lgbt community. Being called “broken” and “medically abnormal”.

So don’t you dare tell me asexuals aren’t marginalised .

darlingdemi:

My favourite:

2 Asexual ‘friends with benefits’ live together & get married for tax purposes.

theplaceinsidetheblizzard:

People are allowed to be repulsed by sex.

People are allowed to be uncomfortable with nudity.

People are allowed to be uncomfortable with genitalia, their own or others. 

There are so many reasons why people may feels this way, from dysphoria to being asexual to coping with sexual assault to just straight up that’s how they feel.

And that’s ok.

socialjusticeares:

Is it a coincidence that “ace” means both “asexual” and “totally cool” I think not

Oh my god. I’ve just realised, when someone talks to me, and the answer should be “great” “fantastic!” I say ACE with a thumbs up .

I NEVER REALISED UNTIL NOW.

Lovelies, if you are able, then show your pride! You deserve to participate(if you choose to do so) just as much as any other LGBT+ orientation and identity! Let’s also show some pride and support for those of us who would like to participate, but are unable to do so for any reason, and let them know that they will not go unrecognized.  

going through my Google account and couldn’t believe there was ever a time when I had the time patience and attention span to do something like this

all done in MS Paint on a laptop with a touch mouse lmao

I see that there’s conversation going around again about the concept of a decline in the state of ace tumblr, and I’ve been discussing it with a few other old-ace-tumblr veterans offsite, and I think one of the things that makes the causes of any hypothetical “downfall”* hard to discuss is that there are several different narratives going around of when the good years were, when things felt like they changed, and what that change actually consists of (many of which don’t always line up with my own personal experience of the site).

However, I also suspect that what any one user’s sense of any high or low periods is going to be heavily affected by things like when they joined, who they followed, and what kind of an experience they desire or expect.

Because of that, I was curious and wanted to ask a few questions to other tumblr aces here, both those who are newer and those who have been around for ages: 

1. When did you join tumblr? And, if the dates aren’t the same, when did you start paying attention to ace content on tumblr?

2. What years do you consider the highest or lowest points of ace tumblr?

3. What did you like about the high points, and what did you dislike about the low points? 

3. Which of these changes have you experienced personally, and which are mostly based on what you’ve learned from others?

4. Are there any specific landmarks that you associate with these timelines (for ex. specific tag campaigns or controversies, specific users being active or leaving the site, specific changes in tumblr policy, etc.)

_
*In the spirit of full disclosure, I should note that I am skeptical of many popular narratives of a clearly demarcated ace community downfall or collapse, especially those which paint an overly-rosy picture of what old tumblr used to look like, or those that attribute changes solely to outside harassment and ignore structural factors like the fact the design of the tumblr platform itself, or the difficulty of scaling up small tightknit communities. On the other hand, as someone who did mostly leave the site, I don’t deny that things have changed in many ways over the years. However, I also realize that I have curated a very specific experience for myself here, and that things may seem very different from other perspectives - so I’m curious to dig in some of those other perspectives more.