ctitan98:

Y/N convinces Alcina to sing a song at an open mic night

Alcina: *Sitting at a table while she waits for her time slot, annoyed that she let Y/N convince her to do this*

Y/N: *Playing pool and drinking beer, goofing off with Sal and Karl, steadily getting drunk*

10 minutes later

Some rando: *Finishes playing their song*

Mother Miranda: *Hosting, shoos them off the stage* Alright, well, that was truly awful, I’m not going to lie… personally, I like a little bit of Mozart or Bach. It stimulates the brain you know!

The audience: *Booing Miranda for being such a jerk*

Mother Miranda: *Rolls her eyes, looks at the lineup, sighs with relief* Finally! Someone with a little talent in this god-forsaken hellhole. Please welcome to the stage, the legendary, Miss D!

The audience: *Cheers and claps*

Mother Miranda: *Walks over to the bar* I need a drink. These people suck. Guess they’ll be the next batch of experiments. *Snags a bottle of tequila and drinks straight from it*

Bartender: *Horrified by what they just heard and saw*

Alcina: *Gets onstage*

Y/N: *Whistling and yelling loudly, really drunk at this point* Yeah! Thass mah wiFfeE! We have sEeXxx AllLlL the timeE! You’re all jeaLOus!

Alcina: *Growls and yells at Y/N* Stop it, Y/N! Our intimacy is not to be discussed here! *Gets ready to introduce the song*

Y/N: *Calls out from the audience* FreEe BiRd! Do Freee birrd!

Alcina: *Groans, yells at Karl* Keep Y/N quiet so I can sing this damn song and go home!

Karl: *Clamps a hand over Y/N’s mouth*

Alcina: *Clears her throat, composes herself* Now, this song is-

Y/N: *Bites Karl’s hand and he lets go*

Karl: Fuck! You stupid little dumbass! *Pulls his hand away from Y/N*

Y/N: *Stands on a bar stool, waving their arms so Alcina will notice them* Hey! HhHeEY! Show us your tits!

The audience: *Cheers and whistles*

Alcina: *Blushes hard, gasps* Y/N! You knock off this vulgar behavior this instant!

Y/N: I'mMM GonNaa LIvEE ForeVverr! *Trips and falls on top of Sal* Whoa! Thanks for breaking my fall!

Sal: *Face smushed into the floor, offers a muffled reply* Don’t mention it…

Y/N: *Thinks and calls out to Alcina* Can you do Sweet Caroline?! You know, the one that goes- *Sings horribly out of tune* SwEeT CaAArOLinne!

Y/N and the audience: BUM BUM BUMMM! *Everyone continues singing the song because they’re all drunk and rowdy*

Alcina: *Looks for Miranda* Mother Miranda, I must-

Mother Miranda: *Fucking crowd surfing while belting out the song as loud as she can with everybody else*

Alcina: *Stunned*

Mother Miranda: *Takes a couple more swigs of tequila, super drunk, winks and flashes a nipple at the crowd* If you want to see the rest, that’s gonna cost you!

The audience and Y/N: *Going fucking crazy and cheering*

Y/N: *Shoving a wad of cash at Miranda* Shut up and take my money!

The way she is going to regret

“Eyes up here, pet”

Ok no, im sorry …

I’ve been reading a lot of fics about her so now my brain is a big gay mess

Summary: Soft Alcina content yes pls

Characters: Alcina Dimitrescu x gn!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: fluff, cuddlez :)

“Bloodyfools!”

A loud crash and the shattering of glass had you look up from your book. It had just started to get interesting in your novel, but you felt that the thundering footsteps pacing somewhere in the house needed your urgent attention first. You made a mental note to go down to the village tomorrow and get a handy man to repair whatever your lover had no doubt destroyed.

The clock chimed, indicating the late evening hour. You shuffled off the bed and wrapped a robe around you to help against the evening chill. 

Making your way down the corridor, you came upon Alcina pacing in the main hall, roaring with incoherent sentences of fury. A poor maid was trembling in her shoes, holding up a silver platter that held a wine glass, empty and cracked. A wine bottle had been smashed against the wall, leaving a deep stain dripping down towards the floor. 

“How hard is it to do as I ask?Where on this forsaken earth can I find any proper help these days? Do you have any idea how difficult it is to run this all by myself?”

“N-no, my lady-” the poor girl stammered, unsure if the questions were directed at her.

“Shut it, cretin,” Alcina snapped. Her claws were swiping through the air, snarling at her own thoughts. The girl shut her mouth so tightly you wondered if she could ever open it again.

Taking pity on the girl, you hurried down the stairs and took the platter from her. She was startled at your approach, practically jumping out of her skin as you laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Go on, dear,” you muttered. “Go to bed. Next time, fetch me instead of waiting. It might be you instead of a wine bottle if you don’t.”

It wasn’t meant as a threat, but more a fact. Alcina’s temper held no remorse when she truly became angry.

The phone on the coffee table was hanging off the hook, swinging lazily on the cord. You assumed her regular call with Mother Miranda had not gone to plan. 

“You shouldn’t yell so much at our staff,” you set the platter down on the table and pushed some of the bottle shards into a corner with your foot so no one would lose any toes until it was cleared away

Alcina’s whole form was quivering with tension. The discussions about staff and Mother Miranda’s demands were taking a toll on the matriarch. From what you could gather, Miranda needed more experiments to be fulfilled, but Alcina couldn’t afford to lose any more working hands from the castle or potential workers from the village, otherwise wine production would take a serious beating. There was only so much Alcina, you, and her daughters could do on your own. 

“Then find me competent staff who have an actual thread of intelligence,” Alcina replied haughtily. 

“You handpick them yourself, Alci,” you said softly. “I’m not involved in the hiring process.”

Alcina sat down on one of the sofas, its wooden legs threatening to buckle and break from her enormous size. You walked over to her and gently patted her knee. 

“Come to bed. You’ve done far too much today.”

“Not enough,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “Miranda needs more experiments, yet Ineed more staff, but if I take anymore maids from the village they will get angry. We’ve practically sucked them dry.”

“Then let Karl take them instead. Get their focus away from the castle.”

Alcina huffed, “You think Heisenberg gave Miranda’s demand even a second thought? No one else would do as she asked, which is why she’s resorted to taking more of mypeople.”

Herpeople. You smiled a little. Despite her murderous intent and bloodlust, what entered her castle became hers, and she would defend it without hesitation. It might be a tad possessive and seem a bit backwards, but it meant your staff were safe from lycans and other dangers on the ground, and the lives killed for wine production and Alcina’s survival were used in every possible way before laid to rest in the cemetery. 

Perhaps that was your lover’s way of making it up to the lives she takes away, and from the guilt of living in a red-tinged cycle of murder.

“We need more people,” Alcina muttered into the hand covering her mouth while she stared into the fireplace with a pensive face. “Perhaps I should start accepting some of the male applicants-”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself,” you muttered, “how tired are you, my love?”

Her eyebrows raised in thought as she considered your question, eyes shifting from the fire to you.

“Exhausted.”

“The worries can wait until the morning, can’t they?”

Her hand lowered to yours that was still resting atop of her knee and circled your wrist with her large fingers, feeling the thrum of your heartbeat against the pad of her thumb. 

“Alcina,” you placed your other hand on top of hers. “You need to sleep. Mutated immortal or not, you need rest just like all of us.” 

“But the villagers-”

“If I hear one more word about Miranda or the damned shortage of staff tonight, I will hike in the dark immediately and spend the rest of the week with Heisenberg,” you retorted sharply. “And don’t think I won’t. He makes excellent steak whenever I visit.”

Alcina bristled in jealousy at the praise you gave Karl, but relented and clamped her mouth shut.

“Good,” you smiled. You took the opportunity to clamber up onto her lap, cupping her neck in your hands and angling her face down to look you in the eyes. 

“Forget about it all,” you whispered. “Just for a moment, hm?”

You tugged her further down, until her head rested heavily on your shoulder. Her large hands wrapped around your form as a shuddering breath left her body. You could feel the tense shoulder muscles relax slightly and her weight pressed down on you. It took a bit of effort to hold her up like this, but you wanted her to be as cradled as you could manage.

In moments like this, it took some coaxing from you, but eventually Alcina would relent and let down her walls. Her gaze would soften and her frown would subside, and then you could caress and coo at her until she fell asleep. Alcina was at her most vulnerable at the darkest moments in the night, alone with you and away from the rest of the world.

When your arms and back began to strain from holding her up, you patted Alcina on the shoulder and suggested you both go to bed. She nodded meekly, eyes following you like a lost puppy. A rather large and menacing-looking puppy, but a puppy nonetheless. 

Once in bed, you hoisted yourself as far up on the pillows as possible and held your arms out for the giantess. She gave a quirk of a smile before crawling on the bed, under the covers, until her head pressed against your torso and you could feel her wisps of raven hairs tickle your nose.

The side of her face pressed into your chest, sending hot breaths along your side. The closeness of her like this filled you with warmth, and your body felt weighed down and protected as she laid on you. One of her large hands reached up and trailed fingers down your side, absent-mindedly.

Her breathing began to grow deeper and slower as you played with her hair, tracing the curve of her ear down to her neck from what you could feel as you looked up at the ceiling.

Just before you drifted as well, Alcina grasped one of your hands, kissed longingly on your palm and then tucked both your hand and hers under her cheek where she held it for the rest of the night.

A/N: I almost named this “Hold Her, Damn it!!” bc Alcina deserves to be held and cuddled just as much as all of us! Show the murderess some cozy love 

btw Babysitter pt 12 coming soon ;)

RE8 ladies reacting to seeing Y/N asleep for the first time

Alcina:

I’ve mentioned this before, but I definitely think that Alcina is the mama-bear gf type. She just wants to scoop Y/N up and snuggle them as soon as she sees them, but she doesn’t want to wake them. If Y/N has a special stuffed animal, blanket, pillow, etc. that they like to sleep with, Alcina makes sure that they have it. Then she just lies down beside them and plays with their hair. Y/N really is such a cinnamon roll.

Donna:

The first time time Donna saw Y/N asleep, she was doing some laundry and ran in to grab a pile of dirty clothes to throw in the washing machine. She walked into her room and noticed Y/N sleeping on her bed. Bless her, she tried not to get nervous but anxiety’s a bitch. She immediately fears the worst and goes over to make sure Y/N’s still breathing. After a few vital signs are taken, Y/N eventually wakes up to see Donna holding a mirror under their nose to make sure they’re alive. Donna awkwardly asked if they were okay and Y/N just smiled and nodded, wanting to reassure her.

Mother Miranda:

This woman is an opportunist. Some experiments are just easier to run when the patient is asleep, after all. Yes, of course she cares about Y/N, but that’s exactly why she’s doing this, she swears! She just wants to make sure that they are sleeping efficiently and comfortably… Also, it’s not even a big deal, but she took blood and DNA samples while Y/N was asleep. She probably won’t even need them or use them, but it never hurts to be prepared, right?

Bela:

Bela can sometimes have a difficult time letting her guard down. She knows that she loves and cares about Y/N, but she’s not always comfortable sharing her feelings (She overthinks, like, everything). When she catches Y/N asleep on her bed, she feels the sudden urge to talk to them (Softly, so she doesn’t wake them up) and tell them her innermost thoughts. About halfway through Bela reciting a poem she wrote for Y/N, they wake up but decide not to let Bela know they can hear everything she’s saying. Their heart melts at the way Bela expresses her love for them.

Cassandra:

It should come as no surprise that Cass is a fan of a good prank. She literally found and kept an airhorn for just such an occasion. Yes, she thought Y/N looked absolutely adorable (She might’ve taken a few pictures), but they also didn’t ask if it was okay for them to sleep on her bed… Ofc it was, but it’s about the principle, okay? Y/N screeched and jumped about two feet in the air they were so startled by the noise. Cass has never laughed so hard.

Daniela:

Dani is not afraid of showing Y/N how much they mean to her. Definitely the most affectionate and cuddly of the sisters. She also loves to take naps. Napping together becomes a regular routine for Y/N and Dani. I hc that Dani likes to be the little spoon. It makes her feel so loved and even though she’s basically an immortal vampire, she feels safe in Y/N’s embrace. The first time Dani walked in on Y/N sleeping on her bed, she was so touched that they felt comfortable enough in her room to fall asleep. Y/N and Dani are that annoying couple who are way too into public displays of affection (but mostly private displays of affection ).

Mother Miranda adopts Y/N AU

Another stupid AU idea… Miranda adopts Y/N, a cute little kid who has been left in the village. Y/N is about 5 in this drabble. (Mother Miranda’s nice in this one, y'all)

Mother Miranda: *On a walk through the village, waving to people as she passes by, sees a tiny shivering blanket-wrapped bundle, slowly approaches it* Hello? Is somebody in there? *Gently pokes the bundle*

The bundle: *Growls*

Mother Miranda: ??? Um, hi there?

The bundle: *Huffs, Y/N unwraps themself* Keep it movin’, lady. *Y/N waves a hand dismissively at her*

Mother Miranda: *Surprised and confused* Oh! Hello. I’m Mother Miranda. What’s your name?

Y/N: *Grins* Can’t tell ya!

Mother Miranda: *Smirks, crosses her arms* And why is that?

Y/N: *A true hustler in the making* That information’s a bit pricey. The fee’s 5 bucks!

Mother Miranda: *Not that much of a dumbass, scoffs* Ha! I’m not giving you 5 dollars just so you’ll tell me your name!

Y/N: *Shrugs* Suit yourself! *Wraps up in the blanket again*

Mother Miranda: *Is not an asshole so isn’t going to leave a defenseless child all alone* Well… Is there something else you want? Why don’t you come with me and I’ll get you something to eat. I’m not going to leave you out here by yourself.

Y/N: *Holds up a hand and shakes their head* Actually, I just need to know one thing.

Mother Miranda: *Yet again confused* …Okay?

Y/N: *Suddenly has stars in their eyes* Do you know that tall cigarette lady with the big boobs and the hot daughters?! *Blushes* She’s like a Disney villain!

Mother Miranda: -_- *Groans* Unfortunately. Why-

Y/N: *Suddenly grabs Miranda’s hand* I’ll only go with you if you tell me more about her! Maybe you can even introduce me? *Gives her big puppy dog eyes*

A couple days later

Mother Miranda: Anyway, so this is Y/N. My new child! *Pats Y/N’s head* Everyone say hello.

Karl Donna and Sal: *Wave to Y/N and offer greetings*

Alcina: *Crossing her arms, looking at Miranda, pouting* Mother Miranda, this is going to sound bad, especially if taken out of context, but please tell me you didn’t pimp me out to a 5-year-old so that they would come home with you.

Mother Miranda: *Rolls her eyes* Yes! That’s exactly what happened! Weren’t you listening-

Y/N: *Interrupts Miranda, giggling like crazy* Wow! Beautiful and a genius! She’s the total package :3

Alcina: *Facepalms* Why is this how my life turned out?

Note: I definitely think Mother Miranda would keep Y/N on a kiddie leash XD

Y/N Alcina and Heisenberg get locked in a room together

Another funny idea from @grellsutcliffsworldLet’s go!

Alcina: *Frantically jiggling the door knob* Oh no! No, no, no, no. I CANNOT be trapped in this room with two of the stupidest imbeciles I’ve ever met!

Y/N: Come on, babe! At least we’ve got each other! *Makes a kissy face at her*

Alcina: *Grabs Y/N’s entire face with her hand and shoves them onto the floor* I will NOT be displaying intimacy of any kind while HE is in here! *Points at Karl*

Karl: *Picking his nose, notices Y/N and Alcina staring at him* What?! I’m practicing self-care! Donna says it’s important!

Alcina: *Groans and slides to the floor, defeated* This is my own personal hell.

Y/N: *Jumps on Alcina’s lap and snuggles into her* Maybe we can pass the time by telling stories! I’ll go first: One time, Mother Miranda made me come over to her house to clean and fix a few things. When I went to clean her bedroom, I found her personal dildo collection! She even had a HUGE-!

Alcina: *Clamps a weary hand over Y/N’s mouth* Maybe we can just have a few minutes of silence, hm?

Karl: *Covers his ears* Damn it, Y/N! You’re so stupid I bet your mom gave birth standing up!

Y/N: *Pissed* Hey! She only dropped me like five times as a baby and only once was on my head! *Seething, suddenly has a brilliant idea* Wait! We should have a yo mama joke-off!

Karl: *Claps his hands together, grinning* That’s the best idea you’ve ever had, flat-top!

Alcina: *Rolls her eyes* You two realize that you’d basically just be insulting Mother Miranda, right?

Y/N and Karl: Even better!

Karl: I got one! Yo mama’s so stupid, she stuck batteries up her butt and sang “I got the power!”

Y/N: *Laughing like a moron* Yo mama’s so ugly, when she was little she had to trick-or-treat by phone!

1 hour later

Y/N and Karl: *Have been slinging absolute soul-crushing yo mama jokes non-stop, giggling like idiots*

Alcina: *Groans, puts her face in her hands, mutters* Well, if you can’t beat ‘em…

Alcina: *Clears her throat*

Y/N and Karl: *Stop and look at her*

Alcina: Yo mama’s so classless, she’s a Marxist utopia.

Y/N: …

Karl: …

Alcina: … Too much?

Y/N and Karl: *Bust out laughing*

Alcina: *Starts laughing too*

Mother Miranda: *Comes and unlocks the door, heard everything Alcina just said, teary-eyed* So… This is what you all think of me?

Everyone: *Ignores her* FREEDOM! *Pushes her out of the way and runs out*

Mother Miranda: :’(

Note: Poor Miranda. I love you, baby <3

Y/N busts through the castle doors

Y/N: Hot damn, I sure could go for some PuSsSsYYYy! I’ve never met a vagina that I didn’t like! *Eyes widen when they see what’s going on*

The Lords and Mother Miranda: *Trying to have a nice dinner*

Karl and Sal: *Laughing their asses off*

Donna: *Disguises her chuckle as a cough* (The true brainiac of the family)

Mother Miranda: Y/N! You need to wash that filthy mouth out! *Looks over at Alcina* Honestly, what do you see in them? How could- Wait, what are you doing?!

Alcina: *Hiking her dress up* It’s dinnertime for Y/N too.

Everyone: *Screams and runs out*

Y/N: *Looks around to make sure they’re alone, holds up the text Alcina sent them, blushing* Seriously, Alci. I’m sure there are better ways of getting out of dinner with your family! Your text made it sound like you really wanted to have sex!

Alcina: *Smirks* I do. *Pulls her panties off and flops on the dining room table like a dead mackerel*

Y/N: *Crosses their arms, thinking* …Well, I guess I am pretty hungry! *Clambers on top of Alcina*

My girl Alcina is so old, y'all

When Althina wakesth up the morning… sthakin’ my head

(This is Tuna the chiweenie, by the way. I love this doggy )

When Y/N’s sitting on Alcina’s lap and she tries to squeak out a silent fart without them knowing

Alci be thinkin’ and stinkin’

Day 3 of a massive migraine… slowly losing sanity and braincells O.o