Y/N convinces Alcina to sing a song at an open mic night
Alcina: *Sitting at a table while she waits for her time slot, annoyed that she let Y/N convince her to do this*
Y/N: *Playing pool and drinking beer, goofing off with Sal and Karl, steadily getting drunk*
10 minutes later
Some rando: *Finishes playing their song*
Mother Miranda: *Hosting, shoos them off the stage* Alright, well, that was truly awful, I’m not going to lie… personally, I like a little bit of Mozart or Bach. It stimulates the brain you know!
The audience: *Booing Miranda for being such a jerk*
Mother Miranda: *Rolls her eyes, looks at the lineup, sighs with relief* Finally! Someone with a little talent in this god-forsaken hellhole. Please welcome to the stage, the legendary, Miss D!
The audience: *Cheers and claps*
Mother Miranda: *Walks over to the bar* I need a drink. These people suck. Guess they’ll be the next batch of experiments. *Snags a bottle of tequila and drinks straight from it*
Bartender: *Horrified by what they just heard and saw*
Alcina: *Gets onstage*
Y/N: *Whistling and yelling loudly, really drunk at this point* Yeah! Thass mah wiFfeE! We have sEeXxx AllLlL the timeE! You’re all jeaLOus!
Alcina: *Growls and yells at Y/N* Stop it, Y/N! Our intimacy is not to be discussed here! *Gets ready to introduce the song*
Y/N: *Calls out from the audience* FreEe BiRd! Do Freee birrd!
Alcina: *Groans, yells at Karl* Keep Y/N quiet so I can sing this damn song and go home!
Karl: *Clamps a hand over Y/N’s mouth*
Alcina: *Clears her throat, composes herself* Now, this song is-
Y/N: *Bites Karl’s hand and he lets go*
Karl: Fuck! You stupid little dumbass! *Pulls his hand away from Y/N*
Y/N: *Stands on a bar stool, waving their arms so Alcina will notice them* Hey! HhHeEY! Show us your tits!
The audience: *Cheers and whistles*
Alcina: *Blushes hard, gasps* Y/N! You knock off this vulgar behavior this instant!
Y/N: I'mMM GonNaa LIvEE ForeVverr! *Trips and falls on top of Sal* Whoa! Thanks for breaking my fall!
Sal: *Face smushed into the floor, offers a muffled reply* Don’t mention it…
Y/N: *Thinks and calls out to Alcina* Can you do Sweet Caroline?! You know, the one that goes- *Sings horribly out of tune* SwEeT CaAArOLinne!
Y/N and the audience: BUM BUM BUMMM! *Everyone continues singing the song because they’re all drunk and rowdy*
Alcina: *Looks for Miranda* Mother Miranda, I must-
Mother Miranda: *Fucking crowd surfing while belting out the song as loud as she can with everybody else*
Alcina: *Stunned*
Mother Miranda: *Takes a couple more swigs of tequila, super drunk, winks and flashes a nipple at the crowd* If you want to see the rest, that’s gonna cost you!
The audience and Y/N: *Going fucking crazy and cheering*
Y/N: *Shoving a wad of cash at Miranda* Shut up and take my money!
Capcom REALLY said, “Here’s a beautiful giant mutant mommy who loves and cherishes her daughters. Now you get play a random man who invades her house, steals her valuables and vandalizes her castle. You also get to kill her daughters one by one and then murder her at the moment of her deepest sorrow! Have a great MOTHERS DAY!” Like—I’m broken inside rn *takes long drag of cigarrette*
Game devs need to have a dedicated milf designer. Every game needs to have at least 1 milf going forward. I’m tired of boring ass white guys being every character in every game
