Isn’t it funny how something that use to be the worst habit like cutting,carving and burning took over your life, but then all of a sudden its just easy to stop..?

i have been self harming for a year and a half and the longest i have ever gone is 6-7 weeks.. i am currently at 5 weeks and my goal is 8+ weeks. it use to be all i would think about.. 24/7 i would self harm once, twice maybe even 3 times? a day depending in what was going on… i have self harmed not only at home but at school as well.

i remembered one time i was so depressed and didn’t have blade and i was out shopping with one of my best friends and i bought a package of pencil sharpeners and took the blades out cause i was so desperate.

now that i think of it i just think of how i don’t want to be that person and how gross that is, to be so addicted like that, i have no longer wanted to self harm in like 5 months it just doesn’t really appeal to me anymore but when shit happens that’s all i really know to do so i trying to fix that and change that into new habits that are good.!!!

although i say that.. ever since i slowed down and stopped self harming i have started starving myself and am under weight but i will be trying harder to recover as i need to be strong to susceed in my sport,

-Depressed mess (B)

ily all stay strong xoxo

check out my instagram @you.wrecked.me._

Something you need to read

Why do people use me? I ask myself this question quite often

Why do people use other people? I never can answer my own question as to why people use me or use other people maybe the reason is because they’re insecure? Mad? Jealous? Who really knows i don’t even think the user really knows why they use someone. Being used can be easy to spot and hard to spot sometimes it’s your best friend, family member, classmate, colleague or maybe even the person you look up to the most. Being used causes a person to feel guilt and it makes it hard to trust someone else, it damages people. You start to ask yourself what you did wrong, why your so easy to use and why you didn’t see it coming which is the biggest question and the truth is a good amount of the time you did see it coming this is the part no one wants to admit. Apart of you knew you were being used but you let it happen. No, not because your stupid because your smart, you are so smart you knew the person was using you and you let it happen because you are the good person and i’m sure you thought “there different” because that’s what i think everytime, every single goddamn time i think to myself “why judge this person so quick when it could be different” the thing is sometimes it is different but if you are questioning yourself already it most likely won’t ever be different.  

Never feel bad, you are not the only person that is being used it happens to everyone all over the world whether or not your being used for popularity, clout, body, money, social media, grades ECT. YOU ARE not the only one so make sure to remember that no matter how beautiful, nice or popular you are people will do whatever they want to do you can not control it but you can control how you move on from it. YOU are worthy, strong and beautiful and do not let anyone take that away from you.

I have lost 6 pounds in two weeks and I don’t even know how I started getting into bad habits again:/ ugh I hate myself