#bi humor
OMG MY BROTHER GOT ME A MINIATURE CLOSET AND SAID “Just so you always remember where you came from” IM SCREECHING
My fucking cousin is currently telling us how weird and disgusting it would be if someone in his family was gay.
I don’t know if you know this feeling, but today I saw a girl in public and she was the embodiment of bi culture. Like she was literally wearing cuffed jeans and a leather jacket. So I turned to my friend and was like “She seems hella bi” and my friend literally looked at me and told me she was actually bi. I felt so proud and just wanted to go to her and be like “YO, ME BI, TOO.”
Bff: *talking about a ski trip*
Bff: Well, why can’t girls and boys share rooms?
Me: Yeah, it’s dumb
Bff: You know what? You’re just gonna hide in the closet
Me: Been there, done that. Not satisfied.
Me: *sees pretty girl at school*
Me, internally: Don’t let your inner gay out don’t let you inner gay out don’t let your inner gay out don’t let your-
family gatherings
So I was at a family gathering and, of fucking course, everyone was asking me if I had a boyfriend and I was really annoyed, but then my cousin suddenly said “Or maybe a girlfriend?” and my closeted bi ass was sweating
I don’t know why, but sometimes I’m like “BOYS!” and then other times I’m like “GIRLS!” and then again other times I’m like “BOTH!” and I just really feel the bisexual struggle
So I was at a little “party” yesterday and a pretty girl told me to feel the inside of her soft pullover, so she took my hand and i couldn’t function properly for the rest of the night
Me: Guys, I’m bi
Friend 1 and 2: lol same
Friend 3: I’m pan
Friend 4: is anyone here even straight?
Friend 5: yeah, me
Friend 3: you sure?
Friend 5: yes, I’m 100% straight
Me: shame on you
Friend: What’s your worst fear?
Me, internally: My friends and family finding my tumblr and seeing how gay it is
Me:drowning
Me: I think I might be attracted to women too
Bff: Yeah, you’re bi
Me: Because I’m- Wait, WHAT. How do you know?
Bff: Well, I’ve known for two years. It’s really obvious
Me: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME
Bff: I THOUGHT YOU KNEW
me, after almost accidentally outing myself to my mom for the 27949th time because i wanted to make a joke:
me after waking up extremely hungover, looking at my phone to find out i had a threesome with two girls as my first time yesterday:
my aunt at the family dinner: so i heard you got a boyfriend?
me: uh yeah i am currently in a relationship with someone…
my mom: do we get to meet him?
me, a wlw:
HAPPY PRIDE
so y'all know how it’s finally june? well, i posted this on my ig story
and i didn’t think of my irls seeing this
you know just another day being extremely gay
me, 2017: i might not be so straight afterall
me, 2018: i just wanted to tell u i’m bisexual, but that doesn’t mean i’m any different
me, 2019, still bi: *shouting from the rooftop* I AM VERY GAY
me: *defending lgbt rights*
someone: are you like gay or what?
me: i can defend their rights and still be straight fuck you
also me:
me:jhskfjzkksj
friend: did you just-
friend: did you just use a keysmash
friend: in a verbal conversation
friend: everybody has a gay cousin
me, 2 years ago: bitch i don’t have a gay cousin
me, now, hit with sudden realization: wait- OMG I AM THE GAY COUSIN
MY BEST FRIEND CAME OUT AS BISEXUAL TOO
FUCK TO THE YEAH OUR SQUAD IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE QUEER
I just really want a girlfriend
Like I wanna cuddle her and kiss her and just appreciate and love her. That’s all I’m asking for
You know that moment when someone’s giving you strong af gay vibes, but they really are straight and you’re just like
Me: yeah, i met my cousin’s girlfriend
Bff: how was she?
Me: she is such a sweetheart, like literally so cute and also really pretty
Me: *keeps talking about her*
Bff: Jenny, your gay is showing
