Red

as I stick my hand into a newly opened bag of M&Ms, a part of me I like to pretend doesn’t exist hopes to pull out the color red.

I know that inside they’re all the same sweet, cheap chocolate

that made Mars Inc. rich,

but like a weed that leaves its roots behind, something so deeply lodged inside my mind my bare hands cannot pry it loose suggests, 

so quietly most of the time I forget to notice, 

that red is best,

better than any other color in the bag,

for no reason other than it happens to the uninvited guest that has so rudely imprinted itself into the back of my eye, glaring like the flag at a bullfight,

and I wonder why my tastebuds cheer the color red,

red of blood,of gunshot wounds in chocolate skin undeserved,

served by those charged to protect,

the red of anger aimed at every other color,

the scream of silence as the trigger is pulled

red,

the color splashed across the headlines of CNN

when yet another life has been slammed shut before the last page, because of the color of the cover,

red,

the red of my own lips, partedas my throat tries to open and let words pass,

but finds that it is too tight,

because underneath the red on the M&M is a white candy shell,

so easily crushed

between the teeth of a nation that feeds discrimination and makes it great again,

where cruelty trumps kindness,

and walls border more than our minds,

and red, the red that catches my eye when I hang my head in shame, painted onto my nails, a concoction of corrosive chemicals that harden when exposed to the light and air,

and red,the red that I have been infected with, the disease

coursing through my veins,  that seeps out when my wrists are sliced open.

Now, as I stare at the red M&M in my hand, sticky from being rubbed between my fingers,

I realize that maybe I’m only one person, but each ocean begins with a single drop. I let the red M&M fall to the floor, and watch it fade,

 then reach into the bag again. 

this time I close my eyes.  

Donate if you can please. I’m being charged with assault and battery for punching my racist neighbor for spitting on me during a pandemic. I need to pay for lawyer fees and to move out of my racist town.

If you don’t want to donate through gofundme then you can cashapp me $Muvatokyo

If you can’t donate, please reblog when you see this. I’m desperate. Thank you!

Escaping Violently Racist Environment, organized by Monea Williams

2019 is lookin a lot like how 2018 would have looked had procrastination, self-doubt and outright laziness not interfered.

Power, progression and all potential tapped into and realized, all this year and beyond ✊

“How many scientific studies have been done on the power of an embrace?

The heat

The electricity conducted

Surging from you to him, to you

The jolt followed by the calm

Now, exhale”

.

.

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REGARDING BLACK MEN REFUSING TO DATE BLACK WOMEN…

The issue here is that all of these groups of men and their value of their women cannot be analyzed outside of the context of colonialism. They cannot be analyzed outside of the fact that the black woman, and man, are the most despised and degraded group of people on earth. Society doesn’t value the black woman and that resentment is taught to all of us, including black women, from birth.

Asian women are uplifted in society, “Hispanic” women (by which I assume they mean Latina/ indigenous women cuz if they’re talking about women actually from Spain then they’re talking about white women) are uplifted, white women are the archetype, the standard of beauty, of worth, of womanhood period while black women are the opposite of the white woman- the opposite of her beauty, her grace, her worth, her womanhood and are treated accordingly.

How many of those same white, asian and Hispanic women would happily marry (not just sleep with) a black man? Very, very few. I’m also confident that black women unwilling to be with black men vastly outnumbers other groups of women unwilling to be with men of their own nationality.

This certainly isn’t the fault of the black woman but neither is it the fault of the black man.

This is the result of a societal standard that the entire world’s population subscribes to by default until they make a conscious effort to overcome it (decolonizing the mind). Black people, historically and presently, are the most disempowered, reviled, disregarded, degraded and brutalized people on earth and because of that, we learn to resent each other as well. We develop an inability to even see the value in the life of a black person, much less see one as a viable romantic partner. This is the root of any black person refusing to deal with another black person romantically.

Once this system that makes white people the standard of humanity and everything that stems from it (beauty, intelligence, dignity, worth) is defeated, that’s when black people will be able to enjoy a dignity, respect and societal praise/ upliftment that we haven’t experienced for hundreds of years.

That’s when the worth of our people will be the standard n we’ll most certainly be dating each other lol.

——————

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Black Bond

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“For my brothers with daughters…”

- Nas

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“ ‘Land of the free…’

but not me”

- Digable Planets

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The Wrath of Urkel

In the couple of days since the release of Childish Gambino’s widely acclaimed This is America video, it’s seemed that the question of his longtime interracial relationship with a white woman and whether or not it takes away from the sincerity of his politically charged, “unapologetically pro-black” video has been the subject of more think-pieces, debates and comment section tussles than the video itself. In one corner, he’s been dismissed as a coon/ sellout and has had the entire agenda of his music video brought under suspicion via the “you can’t talk black and sleep white” argument.

In another, more empathetic, corner, Childish Gambino’s interracial relationship has been defended and described as the typical route taken by black nerds after being rejected by black women whom they claim have never been interested in them or their Naruto comics. Black women, in response, have vehemently denied a wholesale rejection of black nerds with the argument that black male nerds simply want white women and have fabricated a black women’s vendetta against them in an attempt to justify their pursuit of white women. Black women have also highlighted the plight of the black female nerd and claim that their experience has been left out of the conversation entirely.

Now what I’ve seen, in the end, is a denial of the validity of the black male nerd’s claims of rejection by the black woman as well as a minimization of the black female nerd and her position within black nerd culture. Both conclusions are inaccurate.

In actuality, the nerdy black guy and the nerdy black girl are very much interconnected and have similar experiences when looking for love within the black community. Black nerd guys feel scorned by the “traditionally” (by colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) attractive black woman that every black man is told to want. The black nerd likes a big butt n a smile like everyone else. The problem is the big butt n a smile is absolutely not checking for Urkel because she is seeking out the black man deemed traditionally attractive (by the same colonial/ Eurocentric beauty standards) and is often overlooking any man that doesn’t fit into that mold, aka the black nerd guy. As far as the black nerd girl goes, she too is chasing the colonially defined attractive black man and is also not checking for the awkward, dorky, traditionally unattractive black nerd guy- let’s not pretend that she is. Since the black nerd girl’s interest in men is also governed by colonial beauty standards, she is certainly not checking for Urkel. She wants a fine ass nikka too. However, she’s awkward, dorky and traditionally unattractive so neither the fine ass nikkas, nor the black nerd guy, want her. Both the male and female black nerd end up chasing waterfalls- the traditionally attractive black man/woman whom they are generally denied due to their own traditional unattractiveness- and overlooking each other entirely.

What Urkel means when he says “black women don’t like me” is “Laura Winslow wasn’t tryna gimme no play so I’m throwing all black women away”. It’s a claim based solely off of their history of lofty romantic ambitions, rejected advances and hurt feelings.

With love, and a Dragon Ball Z tattoo,

a former black nerd

Instagram.com/themightydexter

Pac said it best

sugapussy69:

sugapussy69: