#but no

LIVE

theoldsmelly:

cishetsbeingcishet:

genuinely so fucking tired of people leveraging the “groomer” argument against people who support sex ed because scientific literature over decades shows that comprehensive sex education starting around kindergarten actually prevents children from being sexually abused and groomed because it teaches children the correct words for their body parts and also teaches them concepts of privacy, personal space, bodily autonomy, the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, and the fact that sex is something that only adults do. children with this knowledge are not only better equipped to identify abuse and predatory behavior and communicate that its happening to a trusted adult, but also prevent it from happening in the first place by recognizing when something is happening that shouldn’t.

sex education does not sexualize children, it prevents children from being sexualized. anyone who is against early foundational sex education and claims they are doing it to protect children is a fucking liar.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10629957/Owner-Sexy-Summer-Camp-forced-hiding-backlash-masturbation-toddlers.html

are you people capable of doing literally anything except regurgitate articles from right-wing news sources with very poor fact-checking? good fucking god.

“child masturbation” is referring to a woman thinking masturbation is good for all ages and you shouldn’t shame children for exploring their own bodies and instead answer their questions and give them the correct names for body parts.

no one was telling anyone to give themselves an abortion, there was a section explaining what a legally and medically safe self-managed abortion is. same thing with sex on drugs.

the report is about an online seminar referred to as 'sexy summer camp’ for attendants 16 and above, not 13 and above, as the article states. 16 and above is a perfectly fine age to discuss things like abortion and drugs, because at that age those are subjects they are very likely to interact with in their real lives. the article straight up lies to make the content seem less age appropriate.

sexy sex ed is an organization dedicated to giving comprehensive sex ed to people in rural appalachia, a region with some of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country, and now the organizers are getting death threats en masse because of moral panic and shitty reporting by a guy who is also one of the main orchestrators of critical race theory fearmongering. great fucking job.

with that being said; sexy sex ed has a donation link, everyone should chip in if they can. kids and especially teens in rural appalachia are critically underserved in the sexual wellness department and they’re doing their very best to fill that void. they provide out free contraceptives and HIV testing at in-person events and have talks specifically about navigating sex and sexuality as a trans person and a disabled person. it’s good stuff.

abutterflyobsession:

guess who had a panic attack and had to leave work

fantastic my therapist is unavailable this week

micdotcom: The Los Angeles Women’s March expected 80,000. 750,000 reportedly showed up.All across thmicdotcom: The Los Angeles Women’s March expected 80,000. 750,000 reportedly showed up.All across thmicdotcom: The Los Angeles Women’s March expected 80,000. 750,000 reportedly showed up.All across thmicdotcom: The Los Angeles Women’s March expected 80,000. 750,000 reportedly showed up.All across th

micdotcom:

The Los Angeles Women’s March expected 80,000. 750,000 reportedly showed up.

  • All across the U.S. — and around the globe — participants came out for women’s marches on Saturday. In Los Angeles alone, the turnout exceeded organizers’ expectations almost 10 times over.
  • Organizers expected 80,000 people to show up to march in Downtown LA, one NBC LA reporter said in a tweet. But the total was closer to 750,000, according to updates from the organizers.
  • Celebrities came out for the LA chapter of the march, too — Barbra Streisand, Kerry Washington, Natalie Portman, Ariana Grande, Laverne Cox and Demi Lovato were all reportedly at the march. Read more

Post link

ceramyn:

pray for me that the job in germany i’m interviewing for starts at the right time so i can accept it

job does Not start at the right time but the interview was amazing, also i am so on top of my shit for december so i’ll take the good vibes merci

secretmellowblog:

I’m rereading Les mis again, and one thing I didn’t notice on my first reads is just how Militarized every single town is? Even in scenes where characters are just going about their ordinary day there are always soldiers in the street, and everyone’s always mentioning prison, and the police are always there, and there are always traces of the recent wars all around—

No matter what the characters are doing, the threat of state violence is always There. The threat of the military and police and government is always hanging over them.

Like in Fantine’s chapters with Tholomyes! As the four couples are going on their dates, there are constant references to how “Everything is Fine Now Because the Monarchy has Finally Put Down those Nasty Rebels and is Back in Power Again.”As the couples flirt and play, there are gendarmes in the street and people singing rowdy songs about the return of the king. There’s an entire intro chapter about the year’s historical context, and the rest of the chapters contains sprinkles of anecdotes about the new regime.

Hugo draws what I feel is a pretty explicit parallel between Tholomyes and the new King. We’re told that is fine in Paris because King Louis is on the throne: and we’re told that everything is idyllic in Fantine’s friend group because Tholomyes is its (quote) “dictator” who leads in a way that obligates everyone to obey.

Of course in the end Everything is Not Fine and these dictators can’t actually be trusted to rule over their people, and are going to especially hurt marginalized people like Fantine.


But it’s not just this one subplot obviously, it’s Every Single One. The threat of military violence is the background noise of the entire book.

Montreuil-sur-Mer where Valjean becomes mayor is literally a garrrison town for the military; Paris is always swarming with police and gendarmes; Marius’s story centers on his changing feelings about his Bonapartist soldier father; the Thenardiers live at the Waterloo Inn and constantly go on about Monsieur Thenardier’s military history; like the threat of the military/police is always there in the background of every scene, long before it comes to a head at the barricade.

One of the subplots that illustrates this best is Everything that Happens In Digne after Valjean is released from prison.

Valjean shows his yellow passport to the mayor and is immediately followed by a gendarme before he heads to an inn. His passport causes every inn to refuse service to him. After he asks a kind-looking peasant man at home with his family if he can stay at his house for the night, the man pulls out a gun and threatens to murder him. He attempts to get temporary housing at a prison, which refuses him.

We’re later given an explanation for what the townspeople think and say about their police force, and why they’re so determined to beat Valjean away. We’re told that the townspeople say:

“The police was very badly organized, moreover, because there was no love lost between the Prefect and the Mayor, who sought to injure each other by making things happen.It behooved wise people to play the part of their own police, and to guard themselves well, and care must be taken to duly close, bar and barricade their houses, and to fasten the doors well.”

Which is a terrifying philosophy that we see throughout the book? The reason everyone is so cruel to Valjean is because in a world where everything is militarized, ordinary people have decided to become unofficial cops. It’s like they believe the problem with their society is that there aren’t enough police/soldiers on the street—even though we see police and soldiers on Every Page.

There’s something terrifyingly familiar about the mentality that looks at cities swarming with police and says “the way to fix this is to Add More Police. Or for regular citizens to Do Police Work themselves!”

And I feel like that tension, that constant pervasive threat of government violence that never goes away because ordinary people are actively supporting these institutions too, is such a tragically relevant part of the book.

How do I give my 110%
when 65% of me
is still broken

neutrofer:

seeing people worshipping pdf like do you even know epub.. you’re in plato’s cave and I’m begging you to see the light

blueeyesandpie:

I want to talk about how the first time I watched Heartstopper I kept expecting terrible things to happen. (Please note, I had not read the comic yet.)

Charlie has a crush on the star rugby player? Oh no. He’s gonna get fucked over so hard. Plz be careful Charlie. (Channeling my inner Tao here I guess.)

Ben is a dick? Oh no, Charlie’s going to keep going back to him anyway, isn’t he? Are we going to have to deal with this through the whole show?

Nick likes Charlie? Oh no, they aren’t going to talk about it because ~reasons~.

Harry shoves Nick at Tara and Charlie disappears? Oh no, they aren’t going to talk about it…wait, they are? Where’s the catch?

Ben appears in the hallway…Oh god, is Charlie going to end up going back to him??

Charlie and Nick kiss, then Nick runs off? I’m just gonna brace myself for an unnecessarily angst-ridden misunderstandings plot arch.

Nick asks Charlie to keep things a secret? Insert accidental outings and gossip cycles here, I guess.

Tara is having a hard time being out? Braced myself for an entire arch where she blames Darcy and their relationship is on the rocks for the rest of the show.

Bullies after Charlie? Fully expected Nick to stand by and wring his hands and then make excuses.

Imogen asks Nick out and he says yes? Guess it’s time to deal with an excruciatingly dramatic love triangle.

And it isn’t just the bad stuff. I also fully expected Nick to take off across that rugby field and drop Charlie into a full on movie star kiss in front of the entire school at the end. While I admit that would have been very satisfying, it really didn’t suit their characters at all….and yet. When I think back, I really expected it for a second.

—-

Anyway, I think the fact that I expectedthese things to happen is actually more important than the fact that they didn’t, because my expectations didn’t come out of nowhere. They developed because that’s how TV is usually written these days and that’s…honestly that’s really fucking weird. (If you think about it, even the sparks of romances in Stranger Things have really unnecessary levels of would you please just fucking talk worked into them.)

It’s especially weird now, because this show proves that you don’t NEED contrived drama to tell a really good story.

I hope we see more stuff like this, queer focused or not.

piracyisavictimlesscrime:

you have to fistfight your tumblr pfp. do you think you’d win

allthingsgerman:

allthingsgerman:

Just as a reminder for later, this is what we could have sent. The German broadcaster didn’t want to consider them.

I invite everyone to mute their TV and watch this instead.

So BF is angry because I told him I’d rather not cook these weeks while I’m basically drowning in stress and exams, because he “gets home at 10pm and why should he have to cook his dinner then?” (IMPORTANT NOTE: we have dinner at 10:30 or 11pm… he’s not getting home abnormally late, it’s just how it works here in Spain).

Well, who cooked MY dinner, and HIS dinner, and the KID’s dinner, when I was working twice as many hours as him, getting home just 10 minutes earlier than him, and keeping up with university on top of it all?

ME, THAT’S WHO.

But, oh noes, meany Rya won’t cut him lettuce for his salad tonight, WOE IS HIM.

(and then people wonder why am I so bitter lately… If someone would lend me a hand and not expect me to do 500% of what I can do, I’d be way sweeter, goddammit)

canichangemyblogname:

Yes, I’ve seen the Bad Batch trailer. Yes, it looks like two of my favorite character: Rex and Gregor, will be in Season 2. Yes, the show looks like it will feature Cody. Yes, they give Rex a cool new outfit. Yes, it seems like- narratively- there may be actual plot in Season 2. Yes, it seems they might get involved with the early rebellion and start “helping people,” like other Clones. Yes, Gungi’s in Season 2. Yes, Omega is a sweet child and it looks like she’s a bit older and and her skills have progressed, so it’d be neat to see what she can do.

Yes, these are all things I would otherwise enjoy from a second season.

No, I will not be watching it. Because there is one critical thing that they did not address that would improve the show: unwhitewashing the Bad Batch.

qedavathegrey:

qedavathegrey:

ITS ALMOST TIME‼️

i did it. i listened. and now i’m a WRECK.

for instance, remember that time florence held me by the hair, kicked me directly in the teeth and then threw my body into a ravine?

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

illputaspellonyou:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

Okay no one on Tumblr that I’ve seen has been talking about the wine and cheese thing, but that means no one is reflecting on the absolute weapons-grade hilarity of Boris Johnson trying to inchworm his way out of trouble by claiming that he didn’t know about it

Like… that wine and cheese party was the Downing Street works Christmas do. Not just any old social, the Christmas social. There were invitations. There was music. Every single worker in Downing Street was invited, even Debbie from accounts. People who didn’t work there but were important to the government got invited.

And Boris is therefore claiming that all his mates got together and had a party and DIDN’T INVITE HIM.

Not only that, but they deliberately kept it a secret from him, because no one wanted him there to ruin the party because no one likes him, and I just…

The key difference between Johnson and Trump always came down to this: Johnson wants to be liked. He genuinely does. Trump wanted to be respected and feared and obeyed, he wanted to be seen as powerful and suave and cool. But he didn’t care about how liked he was. Johnson, though, really fucking does. He’s a deeply pathetic little twat, and he wants people to like him.

So, his choices currently are

  1. Tell everyone in the country that his own friends and coworkers actually cannot stand him, to the point that they arranged an entire Christmas party without him
  2. Admit that he was there and immediately be hated by literally every single human being in the country, including his own voters (hello North Shropshire), because while the rest of us spent Christmas 2020 in a lockdown and unable to see each other and in many cases literally alone, him and his mates held an illegal Christmas party that the police are refusing to investigate

His popularity is now nosediving in the polls, and it really cannot be stated how much that will be burning him.

Also, pro-Brexit Tories are even pissed off with him now. Which is a bit like someone buying a cake called a pus cake with pictures of pus all over the box and a warning sign that says This Cake Contains Pus and Other Bodily Fluids, and then crying because when they tried to eat the pus cake they found it was filled with pus. But also really funny.

Anyway, I’m placing the bet now: we will see a vote of no confidence, OR he’ll jump before he has to experience that (because it would kill him), and our next PM will be Rishi Sunak

And don’t forget

THEY HAD THIS PARTY IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN!

He’s trying to claim that all his friends and colleagues hosted a party IN THE HOUSE HE LIVES IN while he was upstairs apparently totally oblivious!

He really thinks we’re that stupid to believe that a party could be happening literally TWO FLOORS BELOW him and he not know?

Omg omg I forgot that part and you are so right

They had a secret Christmas party that was so big that they were sending out invites to non government members which they didn’t want him at, so they… what, had his mistress drug him with hefty amounts of antihistamines? He went out for the evening (also illegal at the time) and they partied hard on cheese and wine for precisely two hours and 46 minutes, then everyone went silent and snuck out when he came back?

A whole team of cleaners had to tiptoe about for four hours so they wouldn’t wake up the clown upstairs.

What a cover story.

Okay well this story has… Wow.

So, let’s update for those who don’t know. Bear with me, I may get a couple of dates slightly wrong. First, shout out to the incredible investigative journalism and absolutely chessmaster-level shrewdness of Pippa Crerar for both digging up this story and for picking precisely the right moments to release it, morsel by morsel, to bring down Boris Johnson and possibly the whole damn government.

So after Johnson claimed he didn’t know about it, then the Mirror published photos showing he was there and hosted a quiz. So, undeniable, Boris was at the Christmas party.

The Metropolitan Police declare that, even though they are investigating and fining people up to £12,000 a pop for lockdown parties, and doing so is literally their job, they will not investigate the government because “there isn’t enough evidence”. ACAB etc

Then, the Guardian reveals photos of Boris Johnson, his mistress, and Dominic Cummings eating cheese and drinking wine in the sun (with others around them) in the Downing Street garden, not allowed at the time (we were literally not allowed to leave home at the time). That day, Matt Hancock urges people not to have cheese and wine parties in their own gardens in spite of the nice May weather.

Then the Mirror reveals that there was actually another whole ass party - in May 2020, where 30 gathered in the garden of Downing Street (at the time we were not allowed more than 2 households meeting outside). Boris denies that it was a party, and claims it was merely a weirdly well catered work event that included his gin-drinking mistress and baby for some reason.

Then, the invites to the party were leaked by ITV. Turns out, 100 people were invited “to make the most of the lovely weather.” It also told attendees to “bring their own booze.”

Then an inquiry begins, carried out by Sue Gray. She is in fact a member of Number 10 staff, but no idea how independent she’ll actually be one way or the other. Either way, the police are still literally refusing to investigate so lmao that’s what we’ve got. She did get Damien Green fired for that porn thing, though, so that’s encouraging.

Then this week, Johnson goes on Prime Minister’s Questions. He sort of apologises, and claims that he was only there for 25 minutes but implies he then left because it felt more like an illegal social than the work event he was expecting, which is interesting, since his mistress was necking gin next to him the whole time. He should have just asked her, like. She could have clarified.

Then the Times reveals a source at the party who says that no, Boris stayed WAAAYYYY longer and spent his time wandering around and ‘gladhanding’ people (side note, posh people have weird words).

Then yesterday, even though we now have evidence and a confession of criminality, the Met Police announce that they will not investigate unless/until the Gray Inquiry finds evidence of criminality, which is just…an astonishingly open display of corruption, really. A real quiet-part-loud moment.

THEN, within hours, it’s revealed that there were ANOTHER TWO PARTIES, except… Okay you’re going to want to sit down, because shit hit the fan yesterday.

These two parties happened on the day of Prince Philip’s funeral last year, aka Put Philip In The Floor Day. At the time, restrictions meant just 30 people could attend that funeral.

Which means, the Telegraph ran this headline and image:


I know we all hate the royals on Tumblr, but you have to understand just how hard that headline, and that image, and that message, hits British society. The Queen, beloved monarch, “forced to grieve alone” while the government danced and drank the night away. You cannot imagine how much power that image holds. You cannot begin to imagine the social power of it.

Boris Johnson can. He was polling only one point above Theresa May’s all time low within the hour. That is a devastating popularity drop for the man who needs to be loved, who came to power on a cult of personality.

So, he went on PMQs again, to apologise to Lizzie Two. It’s a really funny apology because he kind of can’t apologise without admitting it and there’s an enquiry going on so it’s real vague, but he does cop to the parties on Put Philip In The Floor Day. Keir Starmer, in a rare display of actually providing some opposition, put the boot in quite nicely:

Well, there we have it. After months of deceit and deception, the pathetic spectacle of a man who’s run out of road.

His defence, that he didn’t realise he was at a party, is so ridiculous that it’s actually offensive to the British public. 

He’s finally been forced to admit what everyone knew that when the whole country was locked down, he was hosting boozy parties in Downing Street. 

Is he now going to do but decent thing and resign?

Which brings us to today! How is the Prime Minister coping with the situation?

Well, according to a leak from the Independent, he literally spent today working out which senior officials he can force to resign and take the blame in order to save himself in a move that he, a grown man who has fathered six or possibly seven children who is Prime Minister of the country, is without irony calling, and I am not making this up…

Operation Save Big Dog.

Big Dog is him. He is Big Dog. He has called himself Big Dog. He chose to call himself Big Dog.

Except, the Independent leaked it, as I say, so now he looks EVEN WORSE.

And Then

The Mirror’s front page for tomorrow is revealed.

They have a photo of a wine fridge (capable of holding up to 34 bottles of wine) being delivered to Number 10.

Because, they reveal, these parties were not special events only.

Downing Street has been holding what they called Wine Time Fridays every week during the pandemic. They used to hold them before as well; but apparently, they’ve been particularly popular during lockdown.

Current polling as of 14th January 2022:

Labour 41%

Tories 27%

Those figures would translate to the Tories losing over 126 seats. Labour’s largest lead since Tony Blair.

Side note to finish off for now:

Interesting how we now know a good 100 people who was at those parties, complete with photos, and yet Rishi Sunak is not in any of them. One might almost call it suspicious. And wonder at who the main source is.

HOO BOY THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN THIS WEEK LADS

I will try to keep this concise, and I will put in a Read More because fuck this is like… metres of political intrigue. Although first, quick housekeeping because I’m fed up of seeing some stuff turning up in the notes:

  1. Americans stop being smug in the notes challenge. Just enjoy the clowns quietly.
  2. It is not misogynistic to refer to Carrie Johnson as Big Dog’s mistress, you tedious voles, that’s literally what she was when he cheated on his cancer-suffering wife with her. He also dumped his wife, mid-chemotherapy, to shack up with Carrie Antoinette over there. I do not give the tiniest iota of shit that they are now married, and given that the UK press has spent two years trying to make their relationship into a fairytale princess situation, I will continue to brand her his mistress until the inevitable day he cheats on her with yet another younger model and fathers his eighth or ninth child (not an inaccurate number, this man has Disputed Children with other mistresses he refuses to take a paternity test for)
  3. EXERCISE A MODICUM OF CRITICAL THINKING AND STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINKING RISHI SUNAK IS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE. I HAVE NOT SAID ANYWHERE THAT HE IS. ONLY THAT HE’S GUNNING FOR IT.

With that out of the way, it’s the 20th January 2022, let’s watch the elephant stand on a ball!

Earlier This Week

Let’s check the polls, after the fun of last week!

70% think he’s lying about the May 20th party, 63% think he should resign, 80% think he has not been honest, and 81% think the ‘work event’ that Big Dog described was unacceptable anyway.

But, how does that translate to politics? Well! The Police and Crime Bill is a monstrous piece of fascist legislation that the Tories are currently trying to get passed. This week it passed to the House of Lords. This would normally have been a very straightforward run through to the Queen to sign off, but LOL SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY BITTER ABOUT THE CHEESE AND WINE because instead the Lords have literally thrown out three of the worst elements.

Yes, you read that right. That Bill we’ve all been terrified about?

The Lords have rejected:

  • Allowing stop and search at protests without suspicion
  • Banning people with a “history of serious disruption” from attending protests
  • Making it an offence to disrupt the operation of key national infrastructure, like an airport or a newspaper printer

And then, just to rub salt in the wound, they approved two non-Tory amendments, including making misogyny a hate crime. In practice, those two amendments will now go back to the Commons to be debated more, but those three central pillars up there are just gone now. The Lords described the proposals  as “draconian”, “a wider assault on our democracy”, and “reminiscent of Cold War Eastern Bloc police states”.

Never thought I’d see the day…

So, Boris the Big Dog realises he’s in serious trouble now, because that means that even MPs who supported him now hate him because his actions are costing them the fascist laws they wanted to put in place. So he has a meeting with the one Tory you can absolutely count on to blindly and incompetently support Boris Johnson regardless of literally anything he ever does - enter, Nadine Dorres.

She suggests a zippy new ploy. he needs to shore up support from the backbenchers if he’s to survive it, so she suggests he give them everything they’ve been asking for like a gift wrapped Christmas gift of shit, and they call it Operation Red Meat, because neither of them is bright enough to consider notnaming their illicit backroom plans to let them go undetected, and also, they learned nothing at all from Operation Save Big Dog. Here’s the problem: Tory backbenchers are fucking lunatics. Like, this is your mad Tory uncle who thought the highlight of 2021 was that we put a picture of a crown on beer glasses again TAKE THAT EUROPE. So what bones did Big Dog throw these people?

  • Threatening to cut the BBC license fee, costing them billions
  • Also ending all covid restrictions
  • Asking the military to protect against asylum seekers crossing the channel so they have to go to Rwanda and Ghana for processing instead

Except cutting the BBC alienates a chunk of the core Tory votership, which is old people.

(Remember Ghana, it’s going to be relevant in a sec)

And, it turns out, while the BBC has been very effectively muzzled by the Tories, if you then try to take away their funding anyway… they just might remember they have teeth after all.

THE CIRCUS CONTINUES, let’s see some acrobats!

Keep reading

This is the clearest, most concise, informative and definitely FUCKING FUNNIEST description of what UK’s been up to in the last weeks. Mainstream press could never.

@becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys, is it ok to share this post outside of tumblr? Because I feel like anyone who’s been to exhausted to so much as look at news lately will very much appreciate your reporting.

Yeah, sure. I’m aware that anything I’m going to post on this blog is basically public domain, so go mad!

rpepperpotshipssciencebros:

ironicallyxspiders:

thisdiscontentedwinter:

athenadark:

i-cannot-live-without-coffee:

Disclaimer 1: This will probably get a little NSFW.

Disclaimer 2: Symptoms of periods vary from period-haver to period-haver. It pretty much sucks for everyone, though.

Disclaimer 3: I have a high pain tolerance. Really high. If I say something is really painful, it is really fucking painful.

And now for the reasons why having periods suck and it’s worse for us to have it than for you to hear about it:

  1. There is blood coming from our vaginas. This is a very unpleasant feeling. We cannot “hold it.” Some people get a light trickling. Some, like me, get a Goddamn crime scene.
  2. The ways to keep from bleeding all over everything include a pad, which basically feels like a diaper, and a tampon, which is basically shoving a cotton pipe up there, is not as much fun as it sounds, and can be very uncomfortable if done wrong. And doing it right is fairly hard. Thanks to good old Catholic sex ed, it took me about five years to figure out.
  3. Cramps. I am lucky in that my cramps tend not to be THAT bad (thank you, high pain tolerance), but some get cramps so bad that the pain is comparable to appendicitis.
  4. Headaches. What I lack in cramps, I often make up for in headaches. And not just any headaches. Agonizing headaches. They can start up to a week before the bleeding starts, they last a few days into it, and they don’t go away. No matter how much aspirin you take. Seriously, when I get menstrual headaches, I could down an entire fucking bottle of Advil and I’d probably die but my ghost would still have the headache.
  5. Acne. I’m talking looking like Deadpool under the mask.
  6. Indigestion. It isn’t fun.
  7. Bloating.
  8. Sometimes my actual vaginal region hurts. A lot. Enough to have me doubled over on the floor.
  9. For some reason my anxiety gets worse sometimes around my period. Which is extra fun. There’s nothing like nearly calling the morgue because your dad was late from a basketball game, only to find out he was at Applebee’s.
  10. Fatigue. Because I’m doing everything I normally do while my body is staging a mutiny.
  11. Backache.
  12. Just generally feeling disgusting.
  13. This goes on for a week.
  14. This happens every Goddamn month.
  15. This generally starts around age twelve or so and lasts until maybe age 45.

16. Pads will dry out your vaginal regions and make them itchy. Really REALLY itchy

17. Tampons come in three sizes, too small to do any good, not quite big enough and i think this is a sheep

18, menstrual cups are brilliant if you get them in right, this will happen maybe once a period. You will not know if it’s right until you discover it’s wrong when it leaks.

19. you will run at least two degrees hotter, and up to four degrees hotter at night. Sleep is clearly for other people as you do the too hot too cold quilt exercise all night

20. you will sleep on your side because you are paranoid that you’ve put you cup/tampon in wrong and your pad won’t catch the flow

21. crime scene periods get more frequent as you get older

22. your period will not conform to any cycle, it will range between 2-5 days every 28-32 days, this will change for reasons - what those reasons are your body will not inform you

23. Fatigue for no reason is common - it might be because you’ve worn yourself out trying to get to sleep.

24. Period panties are a must, these are generally black cotton monstrosities that cover you from waist to crotch area, they’re black because they will get stained.

25. Paranoia is normal. No, you probably aren’t leaking but you’re sure you are.

26. The smell. Periods have a smell and you will be paranoid everyone in a mile’s radius will be aware of it. 

27. you will shed more hair than usual, this can be up to three times as much. You’re not going bald, it will just look like it.

28. You will randomly dislike foods you previously liked and will like them again when the period is over

29. Chocolate does help, it’s not a myth, the darker the chocolate the better, and any threats to people who have stolen your chocolate are totally justified. Ibuprofen and a hot water bottle are also wonderful.

30. You will almost certainly, especially with cramps, feel like you really need to use the bathroom, you don’t, your body just makes it feel like you really need to.

17. Tampons come in three sizes, too small to do any good, not quite big enough and i think this is a sheep

And sometimes even the sheep will be too small to get you through the night. 

31. When you DO use tampons, the overwhelming fear in the back of your mind that you’re about to suddenly develop Toxic Shock Syndrome because they told you about it in biology when you were 12 and have been terrified of it ever since.

32. Period poops. It is, in fact, possible to be both constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. It is very unpleasant.

33. Period pukes. Then having to deal with the consequences of that for the rest of the cycle :)

[[SPOILER ALERT!!]]IT’S THE NEW DOWNTON SPIN OFF! It’s the Molesley show! Watch as he mo

[[SPOILER ALERT!!]]

IT’S THE NEW DOWNTON SPIN OFF! It’s the Molesley show! Watch as he moves up and down in the world! Learn about his ambitions, his fears, his taste in women! Season 4 was actually just a giant Spin-off Send-off for this new hit series. 


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