english was a rather strange language to learn, damian thought. grammatical rules were guidelines at most, there weren’t any declensions, and the language was constantly growing, constantly shifting, constantly changing. it left damian feeling small, malleable—as if the world could change him.
monachopsis: the subtle yet persistent feeling of being out of place.
it wasn’t as though pennyworth’s cooking was bad. far from it, damian remembers in the gold-tinged memories of perching proudly beside his mother at a grand dining table, watching her twine her words around the neck of anyone foolish enough to speak up as he dined on europe’s finest delicacies. but those were—those were special occasions. damian grew up on rice and halwa and eggplant, but he can barely remember the last time he’s had them. lasagna makes him nauseous, black beans make him pick at his food, cheese makes him want to spit out his food (then near-beg for forgiveness afterwards). but everybody else in the house? they love it, they love the stuff. and alfred’s pleasure in cooking, all clementine pith and flannel warmth, was undeniable. so damian eats his pasta and he eats his scrambled eggs and he endures the teasing for the amount of spicy sauce he pours on top. he does not think to ask for different food.
aulasy: the sadness that there’s no way to convey a powerful memory to people who weren’t there at the time
more and more, damian has realized his family thinks of his mother as an enemy. and if not an enemy, then an adversary, a contingency to plan for, burnt wax and blood and fruit gone rotten. damian’s tried to explain it to them—the slow walks he used to take with her in the gardens of nanda parbat, her acetone-tipped nails tracing the stems of flowers through the air, her warm hands on damian’s as she gently let him pet one of the al ghul family’s many rescue animals. she was steeped in death, damian knew that, but she also longed for life. she reveled in the great sweep of trees, and she poured her fierce desire protect others, animals or plants or even people, into damian’s very soul. we used to walk in the garden, damian struggled to say, but when father frowned and offered to take him through wayne manor’s grounds, damian shook his head and batted him off. after all, it wasn’t the gardens he was missing.
exulansis: the tendancy to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it
rumors of brown’s skill with people were greatly exaggerated. at least, that’s the conclusion damian had come to after spending enough time in her presence to make an adequate judgement. out of all of them, she was supposed to be the one most grounded in reality, a foot in both vigilante and civilian worlds, a lighthouse in gotham’s storm. and yet, every time damian attempted to talk to her, she fundamentally misunderstood everything he was trying to say. oh, brown cared, she cared the way ugly callouses thumb the familiar grip of a weapon, she was always willing to listen. but she never quite grasped that grandfather was the one behind most of the plots of the leauge, grandfather was the one who stripped every member down to their bones, grandfather shipped him off to america with nothing but a name and the skills drilled into him. the world was under his thumb, and he couldn’t ever feel free with him still alive, something which brown refused to understand.
liberosis: the desire to care less
there came nights when, without fail, damian would stumble over to a bus station with his monthly ticket gripped tight and take the fourty-five minute ride over to bludhaven. there came nights when, despite his bleary eyes and bruised sides, richard would open his door and pull damian in without a word, holding him tight and pressing a kiss to the top of damian’s head, (exactly the way mother used to do when he would pretend to be asleep and she would pretend to believe him). with every visit, richard had to bend over less and less to do so. she loved me, damian would whisper into richard’s shoulder, wrapped up in blankets with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands. she loved you, richard would reply. but she left me, damian would say, and she did it because it was best for me, but she left me. those were the times when damian felt quite naked, furious splotches on his cheeks and his walls dangerously close to crumbling. because mother had trained him into something deadly and instilled lessons so deep they wouldn’t ever go away and sent him to his father when he wanted her most, but she also wiped away his tears and bandaged his knuckles, brought him sweets from every corner of the world, picked him up and hugged him like he was the light of her life.
(richard, damian would think, understands. richard, damian can imagine, remembers a time when father would laugh with ease and play with his child and throw around the world love like it was infinite. richard has also contemplated, with clench-jawed heartbreak, leaving father behind forever.)
richard would always tug damian a little closer after he had spilled out his soul, leaving nothing but star-speckled milk at the bottom of a cup, and tell him we want to care less, don’t we? it’s easier that way, isn’t it? well, maybe. but it’s so much more painful, so much better to care.
The Joker’s violent attention-comedy bullshit would 100% just not work if his main opponent was John Constantine. Both because John is funnier than he is and just does NOT care. Joker would be bouncing around like “look at me, I’m so EEEEVILLLL” and John’s just bored because this isn’t even in the top ten evil things he’s seen this morning
Joker: hahaha, I’ve POISONED THE RESERVOIR
John, casually purifying it by dropping a charm no bigger than his pinkie into the water and then walking away: call me again when you’ve turned an orphanage into inside-out land sharks or something
Joker:*splutters*
Joker: you’re TOO LATE, Hellblazer! Now you have to choose between rescuing this civilian… or your PARTNER! Hahahahaha!
John, who specifically chose this partner because he was a serial killer and therefore expendable, and was also planning to feed him to Dagon tomorrow anyway: aw thanks mate, you’ve saved me an arseload of trouble
Joker:…
Joker: what the fuck is wrong with you
Joker: I am going to murder your ONE TRUE LOVE! AHAHAHAHA
John: haha I’m dating King Shark so good bloody luck
A/N: I couldn’t think of any for Duke or the Batgirls and I don’t know their characters that well so my apologies that I couldn’t give them an individual one.
Happy Valentines Day, I hope you have a wonderful day doing what you do.
All my love, Jessica ♥️
>>>>—————————>
Bruce Wayne:
• Cancels all meetings for the day so he can spend it with you, however Batman is still on call and he does genuinely apologise for this. You don’t mind, you’d expect some mad love scheme from Gothams villains at some point tonight.
• Has probably bought you a few gifts, the classic flowers and chocolates are a must and you can bet they’re top quality.
• Alfred makes breakfast for the two of you as you chatter and enjoy the family’s company in the kitchen.
• Of the assortment of gifts you offhandly mentioned you wanted throughout the year, there is a truly meaningful one that he would give you in private. Whether it be jewellery, a gadget or book which reminded you of a time you spent together. You cry. It’s too sentimental.
• Has plans to take you out for a fancy meal later that evening, we’re talking 5* restaurant and you give him his gift there which of course he loves.
• You take a peaceful walk through the city afterward, which is cut short by the revelation of Joker kidnapping couples. You give each other a knowing look and in minutes the Batmobile is pulled up in the closest alley.
• Bruce - Batman is apologising but you smile and wave him off, but before he leaves you quickly give him a new gadget you got Barbara to work on.
“I have two Valentines I suppose, so my gift to Batman is this.”
“You’re truly amazing (Y/n), I love you.”
“Go save the city love.”
Dick Grayson:
• Not subtle about the fact Valentines Day is around the corner, you know he’s planning something and are on edge.
• Jokes on him though because the competition is ON this year. You woke him with breakfast in bed and he was salty about how his patrol the night before had prevented him from waking up before you. Still assured you that you didn’t have to do this.
• The romantic gestures get more extravagant throughout the day from each of you, in reality you both do this for fun as you show how much you love each other through everyday gestures. But this was go big or go home.
• You arrived from your shopping trip to a trail of rose petals leading to the lounge where too many flower bouquets were waiting - each equipped with a cheesy pick up line. You’d probably give some flowers to the elder residents of the building in the end.
• Dick stood proudly in the middle of them, also nervous as to whether you’d like them. You smiled, pulling him into a loving embrace when he whispered “I’m winning.”
• That evening you took him out see Haly’s circus and he was a mess, it was cute to see him catch up with old family members as well as watch the show. You wanted to give them some privacy but Dick pulled you along introducing you as the love of his life, adamant that you meet Haly. The older man approved, covertly telling dick he’d be an imbecile to let you go.
• In return Dick treated you to a meal at any restaurant of your choice and was glowing for the rest of the evening. Honestly he’s so pleased that your his it’s ridiculous, expect showers of adoration and you just can’t shut him up.
• When you get home and are well relaxed, he presents you with a velvet box.
“This is - no it was too much. I can’t accept this you beautiful dork.”
“I saw the way you looked at it all those months ago so I saved and got you something special, with everything you put up with, you deserve this and much more (Y/n).”
It’s a price of jewellery that you fell in love with whilst shopping for Wallys birthday present and of course your boyfriend remembered.
• You’re cuddling on the couch at this point, pure bliss for the both of you as it’s not often Dick takes a full night off but for you, he would.
“I really tried to get you the best gift in the world this year so I could win our game but I just couldn’t part with it.”
“What do you mean?” He’s confused are your unexpected confession but intrigued.
“How am I supposed to gift you to yourself? Besides I wouldn’t give the best thing in the world up, how could I ever lose you Dick Grayson?” Your words have him blushing, he’s flustered and so full of sheer joy that he just pulls you into his arms with a soft kiss to your lips.
“I - that was - god you win. I don’t deserve you.”
Jason Todd:
• On this day, it is common knowledge to everyone who knows you both that you can ask him anything and he’ll do it. Only If it’s reasonable and for you. Breakfast in bed? Hell yeah. You want a romantic bath? It’s done.
• Will get you a lovely meaningful gift that reminds him of you and you love it so much, and thank him profusely.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Jason obviously brushes it off with a brilliant blush adorning his skin.
• Never admits to the fact he loves baths with you, but on Valentine’s Day you got out the rose petals, bubble bath and candles. Didn’t take much convincing to get him in there with you and you presented a new book you’d gotten him. Jason melted. If you want him to read aloud in the bath whilst you relax, he will. It’s so peaceful for him.
• Jason isn’t into fancy wine and dining and would rather a casual setting, so brings up going to Big Belly Burger for dinner. As a joke. No he seriously would.
“Oh yeah, sounds great. I’ll get ready.” And you do, willingly.
“Wait but - um, don’t you want? I dunno, a nice restaurant?”
“As long as I get to spend time with you I don’t mind, I would eat on the roof for all I care. Actually no, it’s quite cold - but in summer I would.”
• It’s all registering in Jason’s mind how amazing you are, and he’s just gazing at you with pure adoration before skidding over and clasping you’re wrist as you went for his keys.
“Ah - no, we’re not doing that. I’m making you dinner, no objections. It’ll be incredible I promise.”
“I’ll help then.”
• And boy can he cook, the food is gorgeous and he put so much effort into it too. He appreciates your help as his sous chef, the many kisses in between demonstrated that.
• Essentially from then it stems to a normal evening for the two of you, a comfortable night of playful teasing either reading or watching a show. Jason believes these are the best kind, Valentines isn’t for special treatment when he aims to make you feel loved everyday - even if he’s not the best at it sometimes.
Tim Drake:
• Less invested than his eldest brother who is a hopeless romantic but is still determined to ensure you feel special. You’ve said you didn’t want anything but he refuses to let this be a completely normal day unless you really want it to be.
• Starts by making you breakfast in bed and it’s actually to die for, you share the blissful morning in one another’s comfortable company and it really invigorates you for the upcoming day. He had a gift for that.
• “How about we skip the cliche stuff and do something for us?”
“What did you have in mind my lovely nerd.”
• You played some video games before venturing to Titans tower where you spent the day with your friends - you cared about them too. Honestly it became a low-key house party with everyone conversation going and messing around.
• Afterwards you head back to Gotham and hit a nearby food stand and your boyfriend insists on zipping you through the skyline to perfect place to eat which is exactly what you do.
• Takes you up to the ‘best rooftop’ in Gotham, you didn’t believe one existed until you see the view. Tim offers his scarf as you sit on the ledge watching the sun set behind the city, the sky a breathtaking ombré.
“Y’know, this is very clićhe Tim.” You laughed, nudging your boyfriend who offered you a playful grin in response.
“Well you’re still here so I must be doing something right.”
“You are the something right.”
“I was going to say the same about you, thank you for everything (Y/n). I truly love you, y’know that?”
• After arriving home, you spend the evening cuddled up in bed with Netflix playing and an array of snacks out. You doubt you’ll get through a season by the time you fall asleep but you’re both willing to try.
• You couldn’t determine who went to dreamland first, but you awoke in each other’s arms after a gunshot echoed on screen. At this point you agreed to turn it off and once more curl into one another with occasional random whispers of conversation before falling asleep for the night.
Damian Wayne:
• Does not care for the holiday and has told you this before, whether you do or not he feels he should at least make some form of effort. Just to lowkey display his love for you.
• Brought you multiple bouquets of flowers, also invested in chocolates and you can tell he’s really trying.
• Titus happily brings you a rose, which had you swooning the dog regardless of how smug your boyfriend was. Definitely up for a romantic walk through the park with Titus and buys coffee/lunch whilst you’re there.
• The day is completely at your disposal, but after the walk and shopping trip he took you on (despite your unwillingness to tell him what you liked knowing he’d get it for you), you relaxed in one another’s company in the Manor.
• Damian put on your favourite movie and in return you set his film up next so you both had something of interest. Thus began the playful bickering and fights over blankets which you ultimately end up sharing anyway.
• Alfred brings in cookies, you had to do a double take because they are heart shaped and you give the Butler a curious look.
“At Master Damian’s request, apparently more ‘romantic’.” You can hear the disinterested sarcasm in Alfreds voice, his witty remarks are treasured.
“Alfred!” It’s a hiss from your boyfriend and you can’t help but laugh, thanking both of them.
• You’re both sitting comfortably wrapped up in each other, simply enjoying the movie playing in the background amongst idle conversation.
“I appreciate you’re trying, but this clearly isn’t your thing.” You smiled knowingly, Damian both offended and impressed that you could read him so eloquently.
“I -“
“Hear me out, how about next year we go away for a weekend? Maybe Africa or somewhere with a wildlife sanctuary y’know.”
• Immediately his eyes lit up, he’d moved for his phone and began listing the most exotic locations and soon you were joining him. So much so that within 30 minutes he’d adamantly decided to pay for everything.
• Now has a renewed excitement for Valentines Day, literally is counting down the days for a national holiday he still has no care for but loves spending quality with you. It becomes a tradition to spend Valentines away.
Bonus: Older Batsis
Imagine being the older sister of the Batfam and having to spend Valentines on your own.
• You didn’t hate Valentine’s Day but this year you were single and had a lot on your mind lately whether it be stress, work or any other life dilemma.
• As a result you opted to stay at the Manor rather than your own apartment, besides both neighbours were madly in love with their current partners and you didn’t want to be around that right now. The family knew of these developments and since it was Valentines…
• A bouquet of flowers adorned the table that morning with Alfred cheerfully cooking your favourite breakfast, the smell alone was enough to die for.
“You didn’t have to Alfred.”
“Ah Miss (Y/n), you should take your own advice.”
• Damian simply tuts at the doorframe before entering the area and sitting beside you. The young man didn’t believe in the holiday one bit and at this point you agreed with him.
• Okay so maybe you brought Cass, Barbara and Stephanie a bouquet of flowers each. Then proceeded to purchase the favourite snacks of Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian. Dick being in an annoying mood decided to question your behaviour.
“Youbroughtus gifts? We’re not your valentine so, whyexactly?”
“Because, I believe Valentines is about celebrating the people you care for, not just for couples to express their affection. And I do care about you all a lot, so this is me showing that.”
• Regardless, you enjoyed a chilled day in the Manor. After a luxurious bath, you enjoyed your own company really. Something you hadn’t managed in a while.
• Your family wanted to cheer you up though, thus ensued a strange day. Cassandra brought you a katana wrapped carefully ribbon warapped which left you speechless, Dick and Barbara got you that jacket you were telling her about last month and Tim had set up a slew of your favourite movies to relax to along with snacks.
• You cried. It meant so much despite them having their own plans, they took at least 10 minutes to see you.
• Steph made you waffles for lunch, which you enjoyed together after concocting masterpieces from the array of toppings on offer in the kitchen.
• Duke and Jason were next, each rocking up with bunches of flowers.
“We couldn’t remember your favourites, I thought they were (fave flower), but Duke disagreed.”
“Duh, they’re (second fave flower), anyway (Y/n) happy valentines. You don’t need no man - or woman. Either.” Duke grinned, Jason following on with his usual degrading humour.
“Exactly, you got us. Not that it helps haha.”
• You had dinner in the Batcave, it was only take out considering you were managing comms whilst the others were on mission that night. Oracle 2.0 if you will.
• It was then that Damian joined you, a box in hand that he slid in front of you and upon opening it, revealed a pearl white kitten/puppy adorned with an oversized red bow.
“His name is Valentine, or Val, or Vee - he’s for you, so you won’t be feel alone once you get home. I guarantee animals build more loyal relationships than humans.”
“Dami, I thought you hated Valentines Day. You didn’t have to get me anything.”
• The youngest gives you a frustrated look, embarrassed that he was caught being so kind in the first place.
“If it helps I wanted to adopt him but father wouldn’t let me, so I had to find him the next best person. Which out of all these Neanderthals, is of course, you.”
“I see, and what spurred you to even look into such a thing in there first place?” Damn you’d caught him out, the only reason he went was to find a companion for you.
"As you said (L/n), it’s about celebrating people you care about and my gift will last the longest therefore you know I love you the most.”
“And I love you too little bro, thank you Damian.”
Hi! Thank you for sending this in. I rarely ever get requests for Billy Batson so this was sort of a fun practice to do! Sorry it took so long for me to post this up but I hope you enjoy this regardless.
Dating Billy Batson would mean that you are privy to his alter ego (Shazam!) and the only reason you figured out his secret identity is because of how he had called out your name when he saved you that one unfortunate time you happened to be at the wrong place and the wrong time.
“Y/N, are you alright? Did you get hurt - why are you looking at me like that, Y/N? …Oh!”
After that entire fiasco, Billy sat you down and explained everything that happened to him and how he acquired his powers. You managed to convince him to go to you whenever he has any injuries or whatsoever because you really want to take care of Billy.
“I don’t care if it’s in the middle of the night or at 5AM, Billy, if you ever need a place to crash, you can come to me. I’ll always keep my door and window open for you.”
Billy is so much comfortable around you now compared to before. Since you know his secret, he sometimes go to you for a second opinion on his plans.
“Y/N, do you think it’s better if I do this or should I just stick to the original plan? Which one is better?”
“How about you do it like this instead?”
Billy feels like he can always count on you to have his back and he always tries to make sure he has your back as well. He tries his hardest to be there for you when and if people tease or bully you for dating him.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go after them? I promise I won’t break any of their bones or anything, Y/N. Just gotta show them how they shouldn’t mess with you at all!”
Whenever Billy is free from official Justice League missions, he would always try to spend most of his time with you and doing the assignments or homework he missed while he had been away.
In the end, Billy will always end up falling asleep either on your shoulder or your lap. Not that you mind at all, because you actually like that he feels safe enough with you to fall asleep near you.
Date days/nights would consist of you cooking brunch/lunch/dinner depending on when Billy decides to drop by. Sometimes, Billy would try to cook but he only knows how to make simple food like sandwiches, mashed potatoes and toast with scrambled eggs. He burns everything else!
Sometimes when you are feeling stressed, Billy will turn into Shazam and bring you flying because he thinks you will enjoy the view from up in the sky.
“Thank you, Billy. This is the first time I have ever seen stars this bright and many.”
Hi, thanks for sending this in. I feel like it was very short? I don’t always have the chance to write about Slade Wilson so thanks for giving me the chance to do so! Hope you enjoyed reading this.
p/s:since a few of you are asking, I figured I should just answer you all in one go:, requests are open and yes, I am accepting them. So send them in whenever.
The moment you found out you were pregnant was during that one time you had a cold. You thought it was just an ordinary cold, so you didn’t really want to go but when your ‘cold’ didn’t go away, Slade insisted that you go, even made the appointment for you himself. - “You are such a worrywart, Slade.” You tell him and Slade scoffs, before he pulls you to him. - “You love me anyways.” Slade rolls his eyes at you and you laugh, leaning into his embrace. “Besides, it’s worrying. You rarely get sick too.”
Imagine his surprise when your Doctor informed the both of you that you are pregnant. You had ended up crying right there and then while Slade simply pulled you into his arms, as he rubs your back.
The first few weeks will probably be a little bit awkward for the both of you. Mostly because you are at the end of your first semester and about to enter your second semester.
Slade will definitely buy a few books on pregnancy, kids-related books and basically just a lot of ‘new parents’ books. Sometimes, at the end of every (other) day, while the two of you are curled up on bed, Slade will read those books out loud to you and you will always snuggle on his side. - “Says here that we will learn to love our kids for who they really are and enjoy them and that they will be one of the best things that happened to us.” - “Do you think so?” - “That kid’s going to have two amazing parents.”
There is a lot of reassuring you need to do though, especially when the days get bad for Slade. He will probably be withdrawn for an entire day but come night time, Slade will lay on the bed and you just curl up against him. - “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?” - “I think you’ll be the best dad.”
Once you enter your second semester, that’s when Slade’s protective instincts kick in. He tries his hardest not to be too overbearing especially considering how active you like to be and when you see that it clearly stresses him out, the two of you come to a compromise – you will leave all the heavy duties to Slade and Slade will let you do whatever you want without supervision for 4 hours, every day.
Although after a while, Slade will be pretty alright with letting you be independent. He won’t hover as much unless you really want him to.
Most probably will make Oliver Queen your unborn baby’s Godfather, no questions asked. (You absolutely agree with this because Oliver’s family already).
The two of you will probably have a fight or two about the name(s) of your unborn child(ren). - “How about Alexander?” - “Too common. What about Demetri?” - “Won’t be my first choice but we can keep that as a middle name? But why are we looking at names for boys? What if we have a daughter?” - “Then we name her after you.”
Not only that, the two of you will probably also argue about what colour the baby’s nursery should be or the amount of things Slade is buying for your baby. - “Did you just buy another tram?” - “We can never have too much.”
Damian brought it up unexpectedly, eyes still trained on the security camera he was dismantling.
“What?” Jon was sifting through the footage, using superspeed to catch every little detail of last night, but at Damian’s voice, he paused the recording and looked up.
Damian was still digging inside the camera, having removed the back panel and a good chunk of wires, and was now sifting through the piece of tech with a pair of tweezers. Nonetheless, he continued the conversation. “A name. You’re not going to be Superboy forever, are you?”
“Um,” Jon could honestly say he’d never thought about it. He’d always been Superboy, ever since he could remember. He wasn’t one to place much thought into birthrights or heritage, not like Damian, but he also wasn’t overlooking the fact that his father was Superman. What exactly did that make him? Superboy was the obvious answer. “I don’t think I can be anything else, Damian.”
“You have an older brother who also goes by Superboy.”
Jon shrugged. “We share.”
“Still. You’re graduating high school in just a few months, Jon. Though it’s surprising to say, you’ve outgrown the title.”
Jon’s lips instantly turned upward in a smirk. “I’ve outgrown the title, huh?”
At that, Damian turned to glare at him. Pointing a finger, he said, “I will taze you. Shut up.”
“Whatever you say, short stack.” Jon chuckled at Damian’s little growl. “But honestly, what else am I supposed to be? Everyone knows me as ‘Superman’s Son.’ I mean, Dad’s name is so bigin the League, I don’t think I’ll ever separate myself from it.” And if he was honest, Jon didn’t know if he wantedto separate himself from it.
Damian hummed. “Not true. Look at Richard.”
“Dick? What about him?”
“Well,” Damian paused to move the tweezers to his other hand, “Richard started out as the first child hero, working under Batman. And unlike the other early proteges, he didn’t simply work as his mentor’s sidekick. He created his own legacy. And then he became Nightwing.”
“But Nightwing was already a thing,” Jon pointed out. “It’s a Kryptonian legend.”
“Yes, but there hasn’t actually been a Nightwing, has there? Even if there was one on Krypton, Richard was the first Nightwing on Earth. You wouldn’t call him a sidekick, would you?”
“What, no!” Jon’s reaction was immediate. “Nightwing’s, like, one of the most well-known guys out there. Literally everyone knows him, and literally everyone trusts him. He’s not a sidekick.”
Damian turned to smile at him. “Some would say he was. Do you understand my point?”
Jon pouted, took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I don’t know, I’m not even sure how to go about doing that.”
“Well, to start off, find a new name.” Damian hunched over the camera even more, suddenly focusing in on something.
“I guess so. You got any ideas?” At Damian’s lack of response, Jon asked again, “Damian?”
Damian straightened, holding up the tweezers. Clasped tightly between the tongs was a miniscule data chip. “Here’sthe footage we’re looking for.”
Jon stared at him, eyes wide. “How did you even know that was there?”
Damian shrugged. “Simple matter of deductive reasoning.”
“Tim told you, didn’t he.”
A pause. Then, “Drake may have mentioned a while back that a certain trafficking ring was hiding the data chips inside the cameras, and that others were catching on to the trick. I simply tested out his theory.” Damian looked physically pained, and Jon laughed.
“Cool. Put it in, I’ll look through the footage.”
Damian handed the chip over, then laced his his fingers together, put his arms above his head to stretch. Jon, still holding the chip, stared at the line of Damian’s muscles. When Damian quirked an eyebrow, Jon quickly cleared his throat and took the old data chip out of the computer, replacing it with the new one. “So, any ideas?”
“For your name? A couple,” Damian said. “Of course, you need to have an idea for what you’re thinking of.”
Jon nodded absently, pressing rewind on the footage. “I’m not sure if I want to separate from the Super name entirely, though.”
“You don’t want to, or are you scared to?”
Jon snorted. “You probably know the answer to that better than I do. I think I got a name, it’s on the side of the truck.” He zoomed into the footage. “Yeah, it looks we were right. The pharmaceutical company’s related somehow. There’s that stupid gremlin looking thing again.’
“The griffin?” Damian asked, peering over his shoulder. He made a contemplative noise, brows furrowed
“Is that what that thing’s called? Looks like a half drowned bird.”
Damian laughed, and batted Jon’s hands aside. “That’s not what an actual griffin looks like. Here.” He pulled up a couple pictures on his phone.
Jon swiped through a couple pictures, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, those are a lot more impressive. What are they though?”
“Mythological creatures from a variety of different places. They have the body of a lion and the wings and head of an eagle. They’re quite majestic.”
Jon squinted his eyes at him. “You’re implying something. I know you’re implying something.”
In response, Damian nodded his head towards the phone.
“What?” Jon asked.
“Griffin! It’s a perfect name.”
Jon raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Oh yeah. Because I’m part cat and part bird. Perfect analogy.”
Damian slapped his hand lightly. “No, you moron. It doesn’t have anything to do with the eagle or the lion.”
“Then?”
“Your dual heritage.” At Jon’s uncomprehensive look, Damian sighed. “You’re half-Kryptonian, half-human. And it shows. When you fight, you’re fierce and unafraid, much like your father. At the same time, though, you’re endlessly curious and inquisitive, like your mother. God knows I’ve been on the end of that far too often.”
“Oh. That, huh. That actually makes sense.”
Damian shrugged. “I’m just saying. It would be a good homage to your roots, and you’re honoring your parents, without being too overt.”
Jon looked down at the phone again. The lion part was strong, muscled, steady. The bird’s head was curved and fierce, wings spread majestically.
the thing about art is that nobody cares. tim’s got a trigger finger from capturing whatever shots he could, as soon as they happened. he’s got chemical burns on his hands from when he was still learning how to develop film. he’s got boxes of photos, not just of batman and robin, but of gotham. gotham late at night, messy pictures of a smog-filled sunset, grimy alleys, cruel eyed people. gotham in the evening, the chandelier of a gala, the crowds of blurry-faced people, diamonds sparkling on necks and fingers. gotham in the morning, faraway shots of wayne manor gardens, of the forest behind the drakes’ house, of leaves and flowers and trees. and nobody notices them. jack and janet knew about his hobby, of course they did. it certainly cost them enough money. but no one asked to see his pictures. no one asked him why he liked photography. the teachers at school brushed him off when he talked about his hobby, the maid asked him to stop leaving his camera around, and bruce saw him as nothing but a threat with those photos the first few months. so tim stopped asking. stopped telling people about his little hobby, stopped vesting so much time and interest in it, only ever got out his camera when he was feeling sentimental. but he couldn’t always help himself, snapping a quick shot with his phone when he saw something particularly beautiful. pictures littered his phone, and as long as tim had anything to say about it, they’d stay unkown forever. because nobody cared.
the thing about art is that everybody cares. damian’s got fingertips permanently blackened from charcoal pencils, skin rubbed raw from scrubbing paint off his arms. nothing went unnoticed under his grandfather’s watchful eye, however. damian, innocent as he could be, told ra’s it’s just art. ra’s had laughed, then with a tight grip on the back of damian’s neck, led him around the main base of the league. this is art, ra’s had told him. the arc of a blade, the cry of a warrior. the bulge of muscles, the blood of the victorious dripping on the body of the defeated. there is no need to look for beauty beyond that. the next time ra’s caught him with a pencil and paper, he was not so forgiving. damian trembled in the aftermath, fighting to stay quiet as talia harshly set all ten of his broken fingers back in place. she hissed at him to be careful, then threw his paper in the trash. damian learned a lesson that day. his careful depictions of the league base, ink spills of animals, quick drafts of his mother were rushed, hidden, disappear as soon as they’d been set on paper. because his hobby was foolish for someone of his status, unimportant for his eventual role in life. his grandfather’s entire league cares so much about exactly what he does, how he traisn, what he spends his time on. and he cannot afford anything less than his usual hypervigilance to cause misstep, one that would end with a punishment far more brutal than broken fingers.
i love the idea of the entire batfam being hypercompetent. just like. good at stuff.
because yea, they’ve all been trained extensively by a variety of teachers and mentors and various learning experiences. they all have their skills that they’ve honed to perfection for years. but there are just some things that they’re a natural at, things that make the unique, things that give them an edge just enough to rise to the top in a world full of gods and monsters.
yes, damian’s a trained assassin, and has been since birth. yes, damian works hard to keep his skills up. but the weapons training? it comes to him almost naturally. maybe it was something passed down from both bruce and talia, both deadly fighters in their own right. maybe it has something to do with the al ghul bloodline. either way, damian is absolutely deadly with a weapon in his hand. a blade can arc through the air faster than the human eye can see when it’s in his hand. he can work horrible wonders with an unbalanced sword, and turn combat into an art with a balanced one. tiny fingers wrap around the rough handle of a whip with surety, and he can slip batarangs into his palms and up his sleeves without them ever being seen.
tim’s got one of the most analytical minds of any vigilante alive. he’s not a supergenius or anything, and he leaves the higher-order computer skills and tech to barbara. but to him, the world is a puzzle after a puzzle, and tim never fails to solve them. figuring out dick and bruce’s identities. taking apart a grapple gun and fitting the parts together to make a beartrap. knowing exactly what to say and what to do to get bruce to break and bend and let him in. catching patterns in the chemical formulas of crane’s various toxins. reading through the lies that fell from his family’s lips like raindrops from the sky. everything and everyone tim knows are made of jagged pieces, but tim figured out early on how to put them together, step back, and take a look at the bigger picture.
people say cass doesn’t have any people skills, due to the years spent in isolation, spent alone. but the reality is, she has too many. reading people has always come easy, body language is an open book to her. but what many didn’t know was that there was a big difference between reading a book and analyzing it. it’s easy to see the insecurities of each of her brothers. it’s much harder to know exactly what to do or say to let them bring down their walls for just a moment, show their affection and prove their love in the smallest but most important of ways. it’s easy to see the poison of a smirk on a reporter’s lips, to catch the probing gleam of their eyes. it’s much harder to turn the reporter around, chasing their own tail until the story they were searching for in the first place was lost. it’s easy to pinpoint teammates and other heroes’ strengths and weaknesses, to see them play out in the field and plan for them the way every bat did. it’s much harder to make the others aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and to convince them to put aside their ego and work on bettering themselves. but cass seemed to have a knack for it.
jason may like playing up the role of the blustering, bull-headed wild card of the family. mafia-don-from-movies meets muscled brawn. but he’s got a literary mind at the heart of it all. he’s real good at codes and decryptions, because he’s read about them before. he’s lightning fast a nygma’s riddles, because he’s poured through the books from which riddler gets his inspiration a hundred times over. life and art turn into one in his mind, and overlaying his family’s stubbornness and trust issues with novel style analyzations and character assessments that help him understand their interactions a little better. words float off the page and wind their way inside his head, and some may call him dramatic when he can’t force himself to speak so he uses quotes instead, but never say echolalia wasn’t useful.
each member of their worn out and sewn together family had their niche, their own particular area in which they excelled. but dick was brought up in a world where there was only two protecting gotham, two partners working together to keep an entire city from falling apart. jack of all trades, master of none, but better of master than one, dick always said, eyes twinkling with mischief. because sure, his acrobatic prowess was unchallenged. but he grew up on the road visiting city after city, country after country, and it gave him a head for languages. not even dick is sure how many languages and regional dialects he actually knows. his darling little smile was honed to perfection, and interrogations with him never lasted that long. you could drop him in the middle of nowhere and he’d always find his way to civilization, or you could toss him in the middle of a bustling but unfamiliar city, and he’d always make his way back.
ok DC fans. We’ve had AU fics about the JL finding out that Batman has kids. That he’s not always a terrifying demon but is actually soft with his 55 Found Family members. We’ve had them, and let me tell you, I’ll gladly read 13643 iterations of that same plot. Love them. Send any reading recs my way.
BUT
WHERE are the fics where the JL finds out that Hal Jordan is, among other things, a universal legend.
Imagine an AU in which the JL know literally nothing about Hal’s outer space exploits (much like the ‘JL meets the Batfam’ fics are set in AUs where no one knows anything of Gotham or Batman outside the JL). Imagine that all Earth’s heroes know about the Green Lantern Corps is that they’re interplanetary space cops, and that sometimes Hal needs to ‘report for duty’, assumedly stopping volcanic eruptions or evacuating alien citizens from a doomed planet. When asked, Hal confirms that those are among the things he does.
But then they start to get more space missions, and coincidentally learn more about the GL corps.
More specifically that Hal - the comeback king, the irresponsible, goofy, mildly irritating/extremely annoying guy on the team that rarely takes orders and never shuts his mouth, is one of the most highly revered beings among the known star systems??
This dude steps into a bar in Sector who-knows-where, uses constructs to block every exit and announces his name, the patrons are practically yelling the information he needs. Citizens cheer when he lands on certain planets. Also, the guy has been dead so many times. He has become pure will (which destroyed an enemy planet) and has even been Corps Leader. He’s broken the limitations of the ring so regularly that the JL assumed that all GLs could just do the things he does. Nope!
There are some other gems too. For a man with no regard for rules, his best friend is his old drill sergeant? Wait, are you telling us that this ‘Sinestro’ guy, the Joker to the Green Lantern’s Batman, personally trained Hal???? Hal, be honest here, are you a reformed hero????? Why are people so scared of you???? I thought you were just some guy with anime magic jewellery???????
Bruce starts pretty top heavy. Broad shoulders and big chest that narrows to lean hips and smaller legs. Over time, he evens out and his quads especially get bigger. Hips and waist stay snatched tho.
Diana is an hour glass shape, and my girl is beefy. Big chest, big arms, big legs- she’s just big. Her and Clark wear the same size clothing.
Clark is also beefy, but not nearly as shapely as the other two. He’s kinda chubby, and always had a dad bod, which gets more pronounced with age. Soft, friendly. Not at all intimidating
Dick is bottom heavy. Long neck, narrow shoulders, small chest, and wide hips with powerful legs bc of all his flips and shit. Obviously caked up we all know that
Barb has a medium build. Her and Dick are about the same size, but her weight is more evenly distributed. Not nearly as cakey, unfortunately. Post killing joke, her strength gets concentrated in her arms, but she does what she can to maintain her leg strength.
Jason is built like a fucking brick. Strongck. Birthing hips on that mf
Tim starts as a tiny rectangle and develops into a slightly larger rectangle. Lean is the word. And he’s fast. Deceptively strong.
I honestly don’t know with Damian. He’s just built like..a kid? But a strong kid? And I guess he ends up similar to Bruce? Idk. I think Damian mostly looks like Talia, but I don’t think he’d get her body necessarily.
Jon and Conner never quite reach Clark’s size, and both are a bit leaner. Jon inherits the non threatening softness though, Conner is more angular.
All the speedsters are lanky. And I mean lanky.Thin. Like, turn sideways and disappear skinny. I think their powers take more of an obvious toll on them then other metas, and they’re all constantly eating just to like, survive.
Billy Batson is a skinny, not at all muscular kid. Captain Marvel, however, is a fucking mountain. Taller and wider than Clark. Like, noticeably so. Just an absolute Unit of a man. He’s a tank.
I hate shitting on people’s ships, but I really don’t see the appeal of superwonder. I won’t tag it bc I don’t ppl who like that ship to see me shitting on it
I feel like when people try to justify it, they say “superman and Wonder Woman should be with their equals” but like, why does equal mean someone who’s as strong as them? Why does it have to be another superhero?
I don’t think they have any real chemistry either. Superman doesn’t really have a mission statement. He’s just what would happen if the kindest person you know had superpowers. He just wants to help people in any way he can. At the end of the day, though, he’s Clark Kent. And Clark Kent is a normal person, with a mom and dad, a nine-to-five, and a tiny apartment in a big city. He’s kind of dorky, and awkward, and sincere, and he majored in English. He doesn’t fly around as Superman 24/7 because he doesn’t want to. He has a life outside of superheroing.
Diana is the opposite. Her goal is to bring world peace, and for everyone to enjoy the luxury she grew up with on Themyscira. She’s a fucking Amazon, the baddest bitch in an island of bad bitches. It’s not like Diana needs a secret identity anyway. What, are you gonna hurt her family? Good luck. Diana Prince and Wonder Woman are the same person, through and through. The cape never comes off, not really. Tbh, Truth and Justice should’ve been her thing, not Superman’s.
Plus, Diana should be poly. She’s from an island of immortal lesbianswomen, the dating pool is pretty small, and I don’t think they’d be possessive of each other. I think the Amazonian concept of love would be freeing, and they’d probably have multiple words for specific feelings- or maybe none, because there’s no need to put labels on that kind of thing. Clark would be strictly monogamous. Not judging, it’s just not for him.
Lastly, Diana and Clark falling in love with human beings symbolize their commitment to humanity. Diana loves Steve because Steve is the good he sees in man- and she finds that goodness in all of her lovers. Clark falls in love with Lois because he’s a normal person. Of course he would build his life with a non-superhero. Lois is who Superman comes home to, or really who Clark comes home to. She makes him feel safe, after a day spent saving others.
Christ, don’t even get me started on superwonder that starts out as an affair. You have me all the way fucked up if you think my good boy Clark Kent would ever cheat on Lois, or anyone. And tbh, Diana would probably rather die than break a woman’s heart. Even if Diana herself was poly/didn’t understand the concept of monogamy, she sure as fuck would understand boundaries. And if any non-meta is going to kill Superman, it’s a scorned Lois Lane. And she’d be right!!
Also I just hate the idea of female protagonist/male protagonist fall in love because…reasons.
I also hate WonderBats, but less so. I don’t see them as being opposed to each other in the same way Clark and Diana are, I just honestly think Bruce would go out of his way to sabotage the relationship bc he’s addicted to being fucking miserable.
SuperBats is based and the obviously superior trinity ship.
It’s obvious Batman created mental illness for Bruce Wayne- but the body they both inhabit refuses to take any prescription medicine.
No tattoos at all- specifically goes out of his way not to get one.
This is canon I’m sure, but Batman is one of the only- if not the only- person in the universe who can handle the heat of Oliver Queen’s chili.
Bruce Wayne’s favorite color is purple or blue, Batman has no favorite color.
Now I’ll have to watch the upcoming Batman movie to decide how I feel on Robert Pattinson’s take or not. I will say I like how he looks as a live action Bruce Wayne though, and that the suit makes sense. I enjoy that.
Bruce Wayne had issues balancing the Batman persona for the first two and a half years. The public thought he was ill and reclusive.
There were multiple times where as Bruce Wayne removed the Batman attire, the makeup on his eyes would burn into them and make his eyes water. He had to train them to stop doing that.
Bruce/Batman hates the taste of alcohol.
There are some Mbti tests that claim Batman is an INTP. I disagree. I think he’s either ISTJ or INTJ. I don’t know- I just know that I’m an intp and that man is not. Probably.
Dislikes very strong weather. For example, hot and cold. Warm and cool are fine however. He does, however, like to use the lightning and storms to his advantage and build fear. It really gives the supernatural, street legend vibe to him.
Batman knows about the existence of Vigilante.
Although Batman is in fact outdone by the agility of Nightwing and Dick Grayson, he is one of the few people who can do a perfect split. This includes while using the gymnast rings.
Is (apparently) friends with Spawn. In mortal combat 11, there’s a dialogue where Spawn mentions it and refers to him as a friend. I find that interesting personally. Spawn whoops his ass in a fight by the way.
Batman will often eat crackers for sustenance because the lack of flavor and availability saves him from distractions.
Often thinks about Jason Todd during the holidays. Most notably Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Speaking of Jason Todd, he looks at his old suit a lot. He really does have a lot of regrets.
Batman, not as often as Todd, will think about Harley Quinn. When with Joker, he feels bad. When without, he wishes he could help her. In the Injustice universe, he accomplished this, and she was technically part of the Bat Family.
Amanda Waller knows Batman is Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne and Batman don’t know this.
Bruce Wayne had to learn how to play golf in order to blend in.
Catwoman is his soulmate i don’t care.
Not really about Batman but those Christopher Nolan movies are overrated and Rachel was just the worst. So was that catwoman tbh.
The original bat mobile was a big scary suv. This obviously changed over time.
He DOES sleep upside down like a bat. I love seeing that.
Keeps candy and lollipops on his belt in case he comes across children that need help or need to calm down. Also tissues.
Batman with spikey gloves >
Has mastered German. He speaks many languages, but German was the first that popped into my mind. Next up is probably Chinese.
Kyberverse Batman will function similar to the Arkham game series Batman. That is, I feel, one of the most comic accurate depictions of him.
*These headcanons can be expanded on and added to over time. Headcanons can be left in comments to be added to the list. These headcanons will be used in kyber’s fanfictions for this character. All headcanons can be used to inspire a fanfiction request. All headcanons discussed in comments must be discussed politely and are welcomed. Return frequently for new headcanons.
* I haven’t simped for Daddy Bruce in a minute but
* Can you just imagine what a word experience it would be
* It feels a little gentler than starstruck love for him, it feels a little like two flowers that were able to bloom along side one another
* Like Bruce Wayne loves you because you do not want anything from him - you don’t care about money, power, social standing, ambition, or personal gain - the only thing you want is to be around him
* And that makes Bruce want to give you everything
* To put so much precious metal and jewels on you that people think you are practically dripping with wealth
* Bruce Wayne gives you the softest kisses on your forehead whenever he sees you
* He’s not the most affectionate in public, there’s no arm thrown around your shoulder, or impromptu kisses
* But Bruce always greets you with a forehead kiss and a gentle smile
* It’s so different from how he was with all of his past lovers, there’s this softness everytime he’s near you, like maybe he’s letting his guard down
* Even if Bruce is older than you he sure does act like a baby sometimes
* He comes over to you and nuzzles his face into your neck
* “I’m tired.” He says with a heavy sigh
* Your hand tangles in his hair, carding through the only black strands and he practically purrs against your collarbone
* And when you hold that tired face his both your hands, squeezing every so slightly, he practically melts right there
* “You’re always taking care of everyone Bruce, but who takes care of you?”
* For anything long term you have to be a sort of parental figure to his children
* “Dick you’re twenty-five years old how have you never learned how to do laundry?” Jason’s got his elbow propped on Tim’s should as he watches you teach his older brother how to do the laundry
* “You did good Bruce.”
* Bruce Wayne who just spoils you rotten with pretty clothes and Gucci pajamas
* Bruce Wayne who was featured in better homes wearing his Gucci pajamas, sipping orange juice, and a picture frame with you on it on one end table and all his children on the other side
* Bruce Wayne who keeps the sweetest picture of you in his wallet, and his Home Screen is a big family picture of all of you
* Bruce Wayne who leads you into a gala, in the most stylish clothes with diamonds on your ears, neck, wrists, fingers and ankles
* Bruce Wayne who gets caught by the paparazzi giving your the dopiest, softest look while you’re getting smoothies early in the morning
* Bruce Wayne who tries to make all your dreams come true, no matter how wild or mundane
* Bruce Wayne who just loves you with all his heart and soul
