#doomed relationship

My

starlight in a bottle boy,

burning up from the inside.

My beloved supernova.

Finally come to end it all?

Finally going to let us rest?

Solar flare,

don’t you dare

burn

our house

down.

Time can only

heal the entry wound of the

poison barb

you left inside me:

rotting love,

festering longing -

purple toxin living in my

blood.

Your hand in

my hand,

but

time struck and

you stumbled —

down,

down,

down —

oh,

were our shattered knees

and

scraped hands,

blood-tinged teeth —

were they worth it?

(Was it worth it to

clasp

our hands

so tightly that

one circle, two —

rings of fire,

surrounding us both

forever?)

My once known shadow,

but my forever estranged enemy,

held me so tenderly when I gave him what he longed for:

goodbye.

You love that little blade:

cradle it’s handle oh so gently.

Sing it soft songs to sleep.

Warm it’s metal with your rest laden body.

You love that little blade -

even when it cuts.

Have you ever loved in scales?

Perfect balance?

Perfect symmetry?

Each step mirrored -

where one goes, the other

follows?

The smallest shift in weight can

jar the balance -

a breath,

a kiss,

a tear,

a moment.

A clang as joints disband.

A crash to the floor as you

spin out of orbit.

It will never be the same.

You will never be the same.

But -

But,

once,

you were lucky enough to

love

in scales.

Once,

you were whole and

perfect.

Oh,

sweet memory,

the icy blade between my

bones.

Oh, sweet love,

the ailment lingering in my

blood.

Oh, sweet agony,

burning through my

lungs.

Oh, sweet lover,

lost from me

forever.

Oh, sweet sadness:

eternal companion and

penance.

And I wonder when I’ll stop

seeing your face

in every

tragedy and

betrayal.

I’m still surprised

whenever I exhale and

there’s

no frost.

This beloved ice inside of me:

endless devotion to a

heartache

that’ll

never stray.

A snow angel in moonlight.

Lingering longing

cupped in

shaking hands;

beloved boy forever

watched

behind

closed eyes;

shuddering sobs

stifled through

smiling teeth.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I want you, I want you, I want you.

I fear you, I fear you, I fear you.

Hiding light in

shadowed sorrow.

Darling,

your

love and devotion

is worth more than a

collar

around your neck.

One day,

beloved,

you will learn that

love

doesn’t have to taste of

sacrifice,

longing,

and

pain.

One day,

beloved,

you will be enough.

rsblmng:

When the heat begins to roil and bluster,

sticky sweet and after-tinged sour,

I can almost taste you in the air -

of forgotten nights and

almost kisses,

hands clenching around nothing -

oh, I can almost taste you.

Of soft hearts and fanged mouths:

what does a

monster‘s kiss

taste

like if it’s

everything you’ve been waiting for?

I told the truth

and

broke both our hearts.

I told the truth

and

you called me a liar.

rsblmng:

I loved you in all the ways that mattered:

The clasp of my hand when it lifted yours;

The curl of my lips to hide a shared joke;

My ever present self at your back.

I love you

But

You don’t believe me

As

Those words can never cross my lips.

Dear one,

The vow I’ve never had the courage to say,

Burns eternal -

Eating up the last one I ever said aloud.

Don’t leave me.

I am too weak for goodbyes.

I do not know who I am

Without you

Beside me.

I cried.

Later on with just the

moon and stars to watch me

(the same stars we cradled each other through fire and hurt)

I cried -

for me,

for us,

and,

most of all,

for You.

You,

who are what I made you to be.

(Everything but

mine.)

Hurt me one last time,

Beloved.

Just say my name when you

let me go.

Your paper-dry hands,

still the warmest I’ve ever held,

that last time.

I still love you.