#dungeon master
Context: So this was our first session of the campaign, and our Arakokra Druid was just killed for good. Our entire party had been getting awful rolls, and there hadn’t been a single nat 20. So the Teifling Warlock ( and my characters sister ) decided to make a deal.
Warlock OOC: Okay so we all know { Druid } is suffering…
Druid: [overly dramatic dying noises ]
Warlock OOC: Hey, { me } if I roll a 20, you have to buy us all drinks.
Me, making up a mourning speech: Alright, hit me.
Everyone went silent as our Warlock rolled, and to my dismay got the first nat 20 of the night. Needless to say, I bought everyone a drink.
My gnome after my crush had taken a tragic fate of being dragged by a gay merman.
-giant barbarian to the /vampire/ bard
- Our cleric, making the first roll of the entire campaign (it was a nat 1)
So… I was playing a one-shot with my friends and we were trying to kill this gorgon with increased hit points. I’m playing a wood elf ranger, and we have a gnome bard and a half orc rogue. Everyone is getting *garbage* rolls including the DM. Nothing but 3’s and 7’s. At this point we’re trying anything, and my friend who’s playing the half-orc rogue made the terrible mistake of asking us what we thought she should do.
Rogue: Guys, what should I do?
A small moment of silence.
Me: Go for double penetration up its ass with your daggers.
Rogue (laughing): Ummm… ok?
Bard (losing his shit): If you get a nat 20…
Rogue gets a nat 20. She then proceeds to rip its asshole apart. She was using 2 daggers and was getting sneak damage, so she rolled 2d6+2d4. She rolled 2 sixes, a two and a four, and then doubled it because of the nat 20. She dealt 36 damage and brought it down to 4 hit points. We go through another round of everyone missing their attacks, but then the rogue rolled an 18, which was enough to hit.
DM: So, how do you want to kill this thing?
The rogue then made a big mistake.
Rogue: Any ideas?
Me: climb inside it and kill it from the inside.
She did exactly that.
Dm: I’m not describing that… it’s dead… everyone roll a constitution saving throw to see if you throw up.
We all failed.
And that was how we saved the village.
- Druid upon seeing a singing woman in the woods at night.