#eating dissorder

By the way Guys. I Made it . And im dying . Gotta gain weight again ..

The Last das my Boss said my cloth were to “sexy” for work… i was wearing … one Pullover one dress one Jeans under my Dress and a jacket because it was Cold.. what was sexy about it… ? I feel so fucking Bad.. and today an old friend just huged me After she broke Kontakt and told me it was her boyfriends fault that time… i feel so fucking depressed . But theres one good thing ! Were goingvto get another Baby kitty…

Yoooo they raised my medication to 100 mg setralin. Like… dude i must be baddd .

I feel so fucking neuseus . I Think im gonna die

Ughhhhh i ate so mich today and i feel so depressed . I took some stuff to Poop my fucking guts out now starteing again tomorrow . On a new one ! Lineart to Kill time and Bad feelings .

Starteing my milk mono as long as i hold up :D since the Farm brought me 6 Liter pf milk and i gotta get them away somehow haha

I Found my old trigger song . And it hurts so good . Fuck this song got me threw some hard Hunger pains in the past . If you believe in something beautiful , then get up and be it .

I didnt Poop in 4 days but i fart so hella much without any scent like.. fuck ? Also !!! My sister die something realy helpfull today … im at her place rn . And she Made Pizza and saw me struggeling eating the whole piece . So she said

“Hey . Dont eat that . You wont feel good after , right ? Just let it be . ” and smyled at me . And it helped me . Im realy thankfull shes always so understanding. Well.. mostly . I love her .

I just do the whole thing .

1 . 50 / bmi 20 .

2 . 158 . Yeah .

3. I actually dont have one . I stopped haveing one .

4 . Being sent back into clinic .

5. Im doing it for myself . I cant look at my Body rn .

6. Sometimes i eat 1100 . Its considered a binge for me .

7. Yes my mom knows . My mom thinks its fine since she is getting my old pair of Pants but she seems worried sometimes .

8. 50 sit ups a day 25 leg train diffrent things at once . Stretching and driveing the bike every day for at least an hour . My Goal is - 450 kcal a day .

9. My brother recently said ( before i started loosing weight again ) “your tummy became fat ”

10. My strengt to not starve again since 4 years .

11. I dont have one .

12 . Smoothies , Coffee and vegtable smoothies . Sometimes i eat stuff i gotta chew like today 75 g of bread 22g Salami and 1 Table spoon Butter. 233 kcal .

13 . Deffently unhealthy

14 . 43 . In 6 months . I did the math xd

15 . I was raised vegetarian , started to be vegan . And now im eating meat like… not often .

16 . When i was 12 . I threw up in the shool Toilettes.

17. Yeah . Was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa once then it switched to bullimia .

18 . Spagetti regretti

19. 2 months Ago?

20. Restricting .

21 . 38

22. 40 . I gained because i was pregnant and decided to eat for my child to survive . ( shes a happy child so i did good there )

23 . No

24 . I dont like the terms .

25 . I got a comment from a boy that my legs were fat . So i purged in the shool Toilette.

26 . I will See the gap in my legs again , and also i can fit back into my favorite Jeans.

27 . Im constantly around food since i cook for my daughter , i Deal with it well . It dosnt bother me .

28. Yes ! Because i Think its pretty .

29. Everyone is beautiful . And i Think beauty comes from the inside . I dont care of someone has a gap or is overweight . But i care in my case . I like myself better skinny .

30 .

First fact : im a mother . Second fact : we own three geckos . Third fact : we own also two cats . Fourth fact : i Play the Piano. Fifth fact : i am an Artist. Sixth fact : im working part time . Seventh fact : i got two big sisters and one Big brother . Eighth fact : i just Lost my dad Last year December . Nineth fact : i love everyone that ever talks to me , toll proven theyr creepy or a Bad Person. Tenth fact : im a realy forgiving Person to everyone Who did me harm once . And i hope to be 48 in a few Weeks:) . But im still 50 lmao .

I ate 900 kcal yesterday and still lost weight . The work out worked i find it funny how much my fucking mood depends on what the scale says also i fucking fixed my scale . Call me a mechanic bitch now

Schau dir “Das zu ehrliche DANCE WORKOUT | Natasha Kimberly” auf YouTube an

I love it . “ common you fat pig shake your hips ! For what did you eat all that fat ???”

So… i chewd some meat and spit it out again… like.. i got a Problem lmao. I also buyd myself a Croissant. But i tasted chocolate so i spit it out again . I ate a salad tho . To get rid of that diarreha :3

Drinking the famous Matcha Latte ginger in the morning

Yesterday i chewd some Gnocchi and spit them out again . Gotta clean that up still but i got work now .wish me luck i almost fainted yesterday on the bike lmao .

Me : alright… lets weight myself .

Scale : 145 kg

Me : ???? I was 50 yestersay ???

Scale :120 kg

Me : alright fuck you . I gotta replace you .

My fucking scale just broke .

Into my second Matcha Latte now After a 3 hours sleep . I was hungry so i decided rot sleep it out rather than eat something

Driveing the bike every morning 3,5 Kilometer is -240 kcal every morning After my Matcha Latte ginger is “♡♡♡ mmhh des ”

Sorry for not Being active . Im busy , doing like Sports and killing myself

I ate cake , and then i puked all of it out again

Gimme a gun .

Im going fuckin crazy !!! Fucking cake .. i dont wanna sit there watch every Person war!and i ?? I cant fucking eat !!!i know i wont babe able to even throw it up !!! Im already at 280 kcal!!! And i know i need to eat some Pasta salad ! I know i need to eat even a spoon !! This is makeing me go nuts .. i packed some cake up for the shine . Like.. pretend pretend .. i wish everyone knew and would let me alone !!!

Im at a birthday . And soon theres going to be food. Im starveing . But like im also fuckin scared … i probably eat as slow as as my leaf insects.

I felt so fuckin Bad because i ate these two low Carb pieces of flan i was like… alright im infront of a binge . Lets rather eat a little bit more than eat a whole pack of chocolate in a few days . But like… damn i cryd so much in the evening .

I forgott Posteing yesterday eating diary. Sorry .

Ate :270 kcal

Burned :276 kcal

I lost 600g over night huff , im so relieved. If my calculation is going to be true , im at 43 in 5 months . ( i counted 200 g per day . It could also be faster. )

Hiermit möchte ich meinem Vater danken…

Danke dass du mich früher, beim Abendessen immer wieder gezwungen hast, Dinge zu essen die ich auf den tot nicht mag. Danke dass du mich, während ich weinend auf meinem Platz saß gefilmt hast, um mir diese Ausnahmen zu zeigen, damit ich sehe wie “albern” ich mich benehme. Danke dass du trotz tränen mich weiter gezwungen hast zu essen, meist hast du erst aufgehört bis ich erbrochen habe oder vor lauter Panik, ins Badezimmer gelaufen bin um alles auszuspucken. Danke für deine wundervolle Erziehung. Und Danke an meine Mutter, danke dass du immer nur daneben saßt und deiner Tochter beim weinen zugeschaut hast. Danke an meine älteren Brüder, dass auch ihr nut zugeguckt habt oder einfach weg gegangen seit. Danke an diese wundervolle Familie und die Liebe die ich in meiner Kindheit bekam..