NO THE FUCK IT DOESN’T

I cant listen to the recorded version of Meet Me At Our Spot After hearing the masterpiece of the live version, I literally cringe at the recorded version

Knew this guy was a creep. Included a brothel in the game session tonight. 5 years of playing and this is the first time brothels ever came into it. I regret not killing the character he made that patronized it

So I was meeting a friend after I’d been for drinks at a wine bar in sanjou with a girlfriend. I wasn’t drunk or anything but we’d had about two bottles between us. So my other friend - let’s call him K - was coming to pick me up on his motorbike which is an american style so he was waiting for me outside a conbini.

So I’ve ridden bikes before so many times. So I make to sit on the back and the muffler on that bike was much higher up than any other I’ve ridden before. Me being a total clutz my bare leg got completely stuck to the burning hot exhaust pipe (after K had been doing over 100kmp/h just 5 minutes ago). I figured it was nothing so didn’t look at my leg for about ten minutes but then noticed my entire right leg was like shaking violently.

And then I saw the gross giant blister that was already there. Second degree burns woohoo!
This was three days ago and unfortunately I was scared to wash it or do anything for two days but yesterday I literally could walk anymore so I went to the dermatologist.

He said it should heal in two months and probably no scarring but pigmentation that will fade over time. Also there was some damage to minor veins in my leg so that’s why I can’t put any pressure on it (I.e walk properly) without severe pain. I want crutches for the first time in my life haha.

I would upload a picture but it’s too gross.

I doubt you guys wanna see that.

Anyway K has been helping me out- took me to the doctor/ brought me to yakiniku in a taxi (lol that made me feel better) / helping around the house. Unfortunately he’s going to Tokyo on Monday to continue his job hunting interviews but will be back by Tuesday.

Know your bike mufflers, kids!

my body currently :( hw/cw: 145

my page is so dead btw

It’s Sad

It’s so sad just knowing that I’ll never get what I truly want in life. A family, someone to love me for who I am. It’s like this sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach that surfaces at night time and drowns me in sorrow. And the tears come down and I can’t control them cause all I see is the life I’ll never get. And the worst part is all I can do is put a smile on my face and try to make others feel happy because I know what it’s like to hate yourself. To hate what you look like in the mirror. To wish you never existed. To wish that you could just disappear, not that anyone would care. It’s Sad.

Why I Want To Be Skinny

How wonderful it must feel to be skinny, to feel comfortable in your own skin. To wear short pants without your thighs rubbing, to wear crop tops and have a flat stomach, to be able to wear a bikini without worrying about back rolls, to be able to wear normal sized clothes like oversized sweaters. To be able to be with someone and not feel like they’re embarrassed. Being light enough to be carried.

I’m the family disappointment, the embarrassment. The ugly little sister. The fat friend. The one who wears a smile throughout the entire day only to cry myself to sleep every night.

Pathetic

I wonder why I believe trying to starve myself will fix my problems, I mean I am fat but starvation isn’t the answer. Tell that to my brain though

FAT

I wonder if my family think I don’t know I’m fat. Sometimes I just feel like blowing up in their faces and other times I feel like I need to punish myself for being this way