#five the umbrella academy
five: i told you, i’m fine. why the hell do you keep asking?
allison: you had ten cups of coffee in two minutes
dave: so how do you feel about all this? about us?
klaus, checking his mood ring: uh, i feel green i guess
diego: god, i hate everyone in this fucking house
luther: you’re in the house you know
diego: bitch i said everyONE not everyTEN
diego: klaus, why is there a horse in the living room
klaus: he wouldn’t fit in the kitchen
diego: that’s not what i- whY the FUCK is there a goat in the bathroom?!?
klaus: he was bullying the horse! what else was i supposed to do??
klaus: if i punch myself and it hurts, am i weak or strong?
vanya:strong
diego:weak
five: an idiot is what you are
dave: i love you
klaus: *holds up uno reverse card*
five: i’m off dessert
also five: *eats sixteen peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches in two seconds flat*
klaus: well, change is inedible.
five: i think you mean inevitable.
klaus, spitting out a quarter:nope
police officer: license and registration, please.
klaus: okay, here
police officer:
klaus:
police officer: this is a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card
diego:bitch
luther:blocked
diego: wait, unblock me i need to tell you something
luther:unblocked
diego:bitch
