diego: your existence is confusing

klaus:how?

diego: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me

dave: so how do you feel about all this? about us?

klaus, checking his mood ring: uh, i feel green i guess

Klaus and Dave starGAYzing

Klaus: Sometimes I just like to look at the stars and wonder what it all means.

Dave: *looks up at the stars*

Stars: Wanna make out

Dave: *looks at Klaus*

Klaus: *winks at him*

Klaus: I’ve only had Dave for a day and a half but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.

~10 months later~

Dave:*dies*

Klaus basically the next day: Wow, God? Fancy seeing you here

Klaus: You know what would be sexy. Eating food off each other.

Dave: You didn’t do the dishes did you

Klaus: not a single plate

Klaus: *does drugs in Diego’s car after Dave dies*

Diego: Ok, but just so you know, I’m judging you.

Klaus who is higher than a turtle’s life expectancy: NoT iF I JuDgE yOu FiRsT

Diego:

Dave: Klaus can you turn the lights on?

Klaus: I don’t need to. You’re the only light I need in my life

Dave: Klaus, I cant see