klaus: i am covered in blood for sexy reasons

klaus: also, i just got stabbed

allison: i know we don’t get along, but i got you this bath bomb as a peace offering. whenever you feel stressed, just run yourself a bath and throw this in. i promise, all your worries will be gone in seconds

leonard, opening the package: this is a toaster

allison: do you take constructive criticism?

klaus: not without crying

luther:how would you rate your pain?

klaus:0/10.

luther:how- your arm is literally going the wrong way-

klaus:as in 0/10 would not recommend

luther:

klaus:very not gucci, does not slap, no thanks

allison: you’re like school in july

leonard:

allison: no class

diego: patch talks in her sleep sometimes. it’s adorable

patch, sleeping: fight me… you motherfucker… square up… i think the fuck not

diego: your existence is confusing

klaus:how?

diego: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me

klaus: things i want- snuggles

also klaus: things i receive- struggles

allison: i don’t dress to impress. i dress to depress. i want to look so good people hate themselves.

klaus, quietly: spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine

five:

klaus, steadily building volume: shrieking skulls will shock your soul, seal your doom tonight

five:

klaus, screaming at the top of his lungs: SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH YOU’LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRI-

five: SHUT THE FUCK UP

ben: is there a word that a mix between sad and mad?

five: malcontented, disgruntled, miserable-

klaus:SMAD

*debating*

luther: *finishes argument*

reginald: your turn, number two.

diego: yeah, so everything he just said is bullshit

grace: when you answer the phone, what do you say

diego: what up?

klaus: who dis be?

five: no, he’s dead. this is his son.

allison: i think luther is in trouble.

diego: alright. struggling to give a fuck, if i’m being honest.

diego: who ate all the powdered donuts

allison, staring at klaus: i think i might have an idea

klaus, covered in white powder: it wasn’t me!

diego: you’re literally covered in the powder!

klaus: …. it’s cocaine

~ Later ~

diego: oh, the donuts were in the fridge.

diego:

diego:

diego:KLAUS

klaus, in bed, half asleep:*sneezes*

ben, from under the bed: bless you

klaus:….satan?

Klaus: Vanya why are you blushing

Vanya:nothing

Inside Vanya’s head:

Vanya: Yep definitely nothing idk what you mean I’m not blushing

Five: we have to save the world from the apocalypse.

Klaus: *already walking out the door* ok boomer

Klaus and Dave starGAYzing

Klaus: Sometimes I just like to look at the stars and wonder what it all means.

Dave: *looks up at the stars*

Stars: Wanna make out

Dave: *looks at Klaus*

Klaus: *winks at him*

The apocalypse: *is about to come*

Reggie: