#hufflepuff x slytherin

Slytherin: We all know I just want to see people’s heads on the floor

Hufflepuff: Do you want to see my head on the floor??

Slytherin: No I want to see your clothes on the floor

Slytherin hubby. I hate my new job, no one’s kind to me.

Hufflepuff me. If no one is kind to you, be the first.

Hufflepuff me. You’re so enticing, so sexy, so compelling…. *kisses his jaw*

Slytherin hubby. …hmm am I?

Hufflepuff me. Yeah… I want to nibble you slowly…. *nuzzling his neck*

Slytherin hubby. … *wispering* Maybe we should get off the bus first, the muggles are staring.

Hufflepuff me. Your friends are adorable.

Slytherin hubby. *frowns* They’re a bunch of dysfunctional adults with emotional issues and a bad sense of humor.

Hufflepuff me. Yeah, I love them.

Hufflepuffme. Let’s go out tonight.

Slytherin hubby. Sure, what would you like? An Italian trattoria? A French bistrot? An alpine gasthof?

Hufflepuff me. … booze!!!!

Hufflepuff me. Can you believe they asked me 12 galleons for a new wand???

Slytherin hubby. That’s a felony!

Hufflepuff me. I got it for 7.

Slytherin hubby. What?! How?

Hufflepuff me. Oh, I stood there and smiled.

Slytherin hubby. You just… smiled?

Hufflepuff me. For three hours. Without blinking.

Hufflepuff me. I want cuddles.

Slytherin hubby. *groans*

Hufflepuff me. It’s been forever since we’ve cuddled!

Slytherin hubby. We always cuddle.

Hufflepuff me. No we don’t.

Slytherin hubby. Yes we do.

Hufflepuff me. When.

Slytherin hubby. … Several times a year?

Slytherin hubby. Slippers are not shoes.

Hufflepuff me. They go on your feet, they’re shoes.

Slytherin hubby. Socks go on your feet too, are they shoes?

Hufflepuff me. …

Hufflepuff me. … well, if they’re non-slip so-

Slytherin hubby. MERLIN’S BLOODY BALLS! SOCKS ARE NOT SHOES WHAT THE FUCK!

Slytherin hubby. My heart is a pit of despair.

Hufflepuff me. Is it now?

Slytherin hubby. Yes. And you’re a spear of light that pierces through it.

Hufflepuff me. You should quit reading Lord Byron.

Hufflepuff me. Love? Can you come here a minute and tell me what you think of this dress?

Slytherin hubby. *walks in from the other room*

Hufflepuff me. *stands naked holding up the dress in hand*

Slytherin hubby. …?! You’re not wearing the dress.

Hufflepuff me. Didn’t say I was.

Slytherin hubby. ….. You’re learning.

Gryffindor sister. You know, your husband wouldn’t even be that bad If it wasn’t for that mouth and that attitude…

Hufflepuff me. *gasp* Are you finally starting to re-evaluate him?!

Gryffindor sister. … Well, he’s got great arse.

Hufflepuff me. ….

Hufflepuff me. …. yeah.

Hufflepuff me. I wish everyone could see you like I do. The real you under all your fancy clothes.

Slytherin hubby. *quirks eyebrow*

Hufflepuff me. Wait that came out wrong.

Hufflepuff me. I strongly believe in kindness.

Slytherin hubby. I’m aware. There’s no other explanation as to why you’d be married to me otherwise.

Slytherin hubby. *steps out the floo to find me and his damn cat curled together on the couch wearing matching party hats*.

Slytherin hubby. I… what… Am I dreaming this?

Hufflepuff me. Happy birthday my love.

Hufflepuff me. You drive me mad!

Slytherin hubby. Sanity is overrated anyway.

~Hogwarts memories~

Gryffindor friend. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be an Auror!

Ravenclaw friend. I want to be a Healer.

Hufflepuff me. I want to be happy.

Slytherin crush. That’s the most low key Slytherin thing I’ve ever heard a Hufflepuff say.

Hufflepuff me. You’re not a bad person, you’ve just had a bad day.

Slytherin hubby. …

Hufflepuff me. Okay a bad week.

Slytherin hubby. …

Hufflepuff me. A bad indefinite period of time, okay??? God you’re so annoy…

Slytherin hubby. !!!!!!!!

Hufflepuff me. ….. adorable.

Hufflepuff me. Sometimes I think I’m doing everything wrong in my life.

Slytherin hubby. Not everything. You’re doing me.

Slytherin hubby. Hmmm… silky skin…. silky hair…. who is this gorgeous creature I see?

Hufflepuff me. *calls from the other room* are you talking to yourself in the mirror again???

Hufflepuff me. I really love that outfit on you, definitely my favorite.

Slytherin hubby. *toweling off after shower* I’m bloody naked.

Hufflepuff me. *hums appreciatively *