Hogwarts houses as conversations I’ve had with my friends (pt 11):

Gryffindor: so what u didn’t study, do u really have to cry about it?

Ravenclaw: *sobbing* I’m not crying because i didn’t study, dude stfu i hate u so much

Gryffindor: ️️

Hufflepuff: then why are you crying?

Ravenclaw: just …in general.

Hufflepuff: Valid in these trying times, have a nice day.

Gryffindor:

Gryffindor: literally no, what the fuck.

Fanfiction tropes as Hogwarts houses.

(Or alternatively, which hogwarts house is likely to be involved in said tropes.)

Gryffindor: rivals to friends to lovers, there was only one bed, accidentally locked themselves in a confined space (absolutely the kind of dumbassery you would expect from a gryff), idiots in love, truth and dare, OBLIVIOUSNESS, coming of age.

Hufflepuff: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, coffee shop au, FLUFF, song fics, childhood best friends, neighbors, mutual pining, accidental confession (lmfao), hot cold dynamics, soulmate au.

Ravenclaw: office romance, METAPHORS, book shop au (obviously), bonding over common interests, letter/email fics, soft nerds, project partners, DARK ACADEMIA, domestic as hell, “and they were roommates”.

Slytherin: enemies to friends to lovers (duh), Fake dating, arranged marriage, partners in crime, immortal lovers, vampire/veela/supernatural elements, Never have I ever, ANGST, secret pining, “make me.” ‘nuff said.

It kinda makes sense in a weirdly specific way if you think about it.

Over text (3)

Slytherin:Answer your phone.

Ravenclaw:Wait a minute, I can’t find it.

Slytherin:Got it

Slytherin, after several minutes: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, rave.

Slytherin: Be the change you want to see in the world.

Slytherin: And if that change involves gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing, then go for it. You do you.

Over Text (2)

At 2:38, Today

Gryffindor: I love you

At 2:40, Today

Hufflepuff: I love you too <3

Gryffindor: too late

Hufflepuff: You texted me at 2:38, I replied at 2:40.

Gryffindor: What the hell you were doing at 2:39?

Over Text (1)

Hufflepuff: hey do you have anxiety prime.

Ravenclaw: yeah why

Hufflepuff: amazon**

Ravenclaw: I have that too.

Gryffindor: Did you just… agree with me?

Slytherin: Oh I wish I could take-

Gryffindor: Nope! You said it! No take-backs!

Ravenclaw: There is no such thing as a stupid question.

Slytherin: Whatever you say

*A few days later*

Gryffindor, to Ravenclaw: What’s in mango salsa?

Ravenclaw, to Slytherin: I stand corrected.

Slytherin : What time is it?

Hufflepuff : I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Hufflepuff : *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Ravenclaw : WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Hufflepuff : It’s 2 am

Slytherin : This is such a bad idea.

Hufflepuff : Then why are you coming along?

Slytherin : One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Over the phone

Ravenclaw: How’s the meeting??

Slytherin:I want to stab everyone.

Ravenclaw: Oh, well don’t get blood on your outfit. We have a dinner reservation at seven.

Slytherin: Love you for enabling me.

Ravenclaw: Love you too.

I posted a quote on my main again accidentally -_-

Gryffindor : Why are your tongues purple?

Slytherin : We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Ravenclaw : I had a red one.

Gryffindor : oh

Gryffindor :

Gryffindor : OH

Hufflepuff :

Hufflepuff : You drank each other’s slushies?

Gryffindor : *Gently taps table*

Hufflepuff : *Taps back*

Slytherin : What are they doing?

Ravenclaw : Morse code.

Gryffindor : *Aggressively taps table*

Hufflepuff : *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Slytherin : Why are Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sitting with their backs to each other?

Ravenclaw : They had a fight.

Slytherin : Then why are they holding hands?

Ravenclaw : They get sad when they fight.

Slytherin: Not gay as in happy, queer as in f*ck you

Hufflepuff:Hey, I like your shirt.

Slytherin: You do, you know what its made off?

Hufflepuff, confused: No, what is is made of??

Slytherin:Boyfriend material ;)

Hufflepuff:(///_///)

Gryffindor: *gasp* we’re saving a girl, is she hot?

Slytherin: Back off

Ravenclaw: Gryff…

Gryffindor: What! I just wanna know what we’re getting ourselves into

Gryffindor: Does she like red?

I accidentally uploaded this to my main lol :/ (I deleted it afterwards btw)

Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw: *arguing over who should go on a dangerous mission*

Slytherin: Guys you’re both too valuable to risk it should be someone expendable…like Gryffindor

Gryffindor: What!!

After accidentally tearing up a page in Ravenclaw’s book

Gryffindor: I did a bad thing.

Slytherin: Does it in anyway impact Me or Huffy negatively??

Gryffindor: Not really.

Slytherin: Then suffer in silence.

Sunday Morning

Slytherin, walking in with a bag of bread: Who wants french toast?

Gryffindor:Ohh, ill have some.

Slytherin, handing the bread to gryffindor: Me too, eggs and milk in the fridge.

Gryffindor: -_-

Gryffindor: I’m a Renaissance Historian.

Ravenclaw:Oh really? Name 4 Renaissance artists.

Gryffindor:Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael.

Ravenclaw: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.

Slytherin: *talking about Gryffindor* is there no way to get rid of them

Ravenclaw: not without cause Slytherin

Slytherin: I have cause it’s beCAUSE I hate them

Ravenclaw : The real question is would you rather fight King Kong or Godzilla?

Slytherin : Godzilla if you give like 5 mins to prepare.

Hufflepuff : Why do you need 5 mins?

Slytherin : Gotta stretch and shit

My Mom just called Dumbledore “Kadalf” …not even Gandalf. No. “Kadalf”

slytherin: i’ll destroy everything you love.

ravenclaw: i love you.

slytherin:

slytherin, flustered: w-well, jokes on you asshole! i’m self-destructive!