McGonagall: Mr. Black, if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump as well?

Sirius: I-

Remus: He’d be the one that jumps first, Professor

James: We’d jump as well though

Sirius, anytime Remus is pissed at him: Remus might be hard to get, but I am hard to get rid of.

The Marauders as conversations between me and my friends Pt.1

James: how do you know if you have a crush on someone?

Remus: when you feel comfortable with this person, but they make you have these weird feelings in your stomach?

Sirius: when you look at them, you just think “wow”. At least that’s what it is for me with a certain person

James: [pulls out a uno reverse card]

James: actually professor, I think you’ll find that you’re the one in trouble.

James: don’t worry. I know exactly what i’m doing. everything is going to be fine.

Remus: how can you still say that?

James: because sometimes, in times like these, denial is all we have.

[James, Sirius and Peter sat on a bench]

Remus: why do you all look so sad?

Sirius: sit down with us so we can tell you.

[Remus sits down]

James: the bench is freshly painted.

Sirius: salt can’t be the only delicious rock.

Sirius: i’m going to start eating rocks to find the good ones.

Sirius: I bet they’re trying to hide them from us.

Remus: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say wow that many times during their first session with a client yet here we are.

Sirius: what if I poured coffee into my cereal instead of milk?

Remus, taking the pot: what if you didn’t?

Remus: smart is attractive. tell me something I don’t already know.

Sirius: the mouth of a jellyfish is also its anus.

Remus:stop.

Remus: okay, i’ll go and get the wedding cake.

Sirius: perfect, while you do that i’ll check on the ring bear.

Remus:

Remus: you mean ring bearER, right?

Sirius:

Remus: Sirius, look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Sirius, on his first day in azkaban: none of you understand. i’m not locked up in here with you, you’re locked up in here with me.

Sirius, laying seductively on a piano, totally naked, with a glass of red wine in his hand: I am severely mentally unstable.

Sirius: i’ll admit i’ve done a lot of things in my life that i’m not proud of.

Sirius: no, wait, that’s a lie. i’m proud of all of them.

Remus: what are you watching?

James: why do you care? you don’t even like scary movies.

Remus: James, our life is a scary movie.

Sirius: be useless so that nobody can use you.

Remus: is that going to be your response everytime I ask you to make the bed?

Remus: have you ever owed a fine for an overdue library book?

Sirius: you and i both know i’ve never checked out a book in my life.

Remus: Sirius, you need to start taking care of yourself.

Sirius, chugging his fifth energy drink of the evening:no.

Lily: how did you manage to pull a muscle in your neck, back and leg?

Sirius:

Remus: he was trying to roundhouse kick a bee.

Sirius: every now and then i like to do something responsible.

Sirius: just to confuse people.

Lily: you smell like weed.

Sirius: i am weed.

Lily: merlin, i’m starving. i haven’t eaten anything since 11.

Sirius: how old are you now??

Lily: