#incorrect umbrella acadamy
Diego: We need money.
Klaus: I have an idea!
Ben: We’re not selling your bath water.
Klaus: I have no ideas.
Klaus: Hey, can you tuck me in?
Five: This,, this is a shovel-
Klaus: Just spread the dirt over me as evenly as possible thanks.
Klaus, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet
Klaus: I like when you’re in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it’s a metal briefcase full of cash involved in a drug deal and they’re confirming it’s money. “Don’t bother counting it, it’s all there. 12.” Then they always pick one up and inspect it like, “Yeah, it’s Grade A alright…The real deal.”
Ben: People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked, you walnut
—
Klaus:Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’re landing immediately. The bad news? We’re crash-landing.
Klaus: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
