Klaus: Vanya why are you blushing

Vanya:nothing

Inside Vanya’s head:

Vanya: Yep definitely nothing idk what you mean I’m not blushing

Vanya: Whats the best way to diss an adult

Diego: O K B O O M E R

Vanya: what if they’re not a boomer though

Klaus: *hits blunt* Boomer isn’t an age it’s a state of mind

Five: we have to save the world from the apocalypse.

Klaus: *already walking out the door* ok boomer

Klaus and Dave starGAYzing

Klaus: Sometimes I just like to look at the stars and wonder what it all means.

Dave: *looks up at the stars*

Stars: Wanna make out

Dave: *looks at Klaus*

Klaus: *winks at him*

The apocalypse: *is about to come*

Reggie:

YoungLuther: Do you even exercise

Young Klaus: I’m a runner

Young Luther:Really?

Young Klaus: Yeah, I run late, run from my problems, and run my mouth *finger guns*

Diego: Who needs friends? I’ve got knives!!

Diego: *reaches for knife*

Diego:I…

Diego: i ran out of knives

Klaus:His name was Dave

Diego:

Things: *get tough*

Luther:

Me when Five turned back time after Klaus finally saw Dave again:

Klaus: Look Ben, it’s a graveyard next to a lake.

Ben: Oh my god this is prime real estate

A kid on the street: Hey look at that man, he’s got a giant gorilla body

Luther:

Klaus: *trips and accidentally throws his bowl of fruit loops in the air so it lands on Five’s head*

Five:

Klaus: I’ve only had Dave for a day and a half but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in this room and then myself.

~10 months later~

Dave:*dies*

Klaus basically the next day: Wow, God? Fancy seeing you here

Klaus: You know what would be sexy. Eating food off each other.

Dave: You didn’t do the dishes did you

Klaus: not a single plate

Diego: *runs up to the down escalator coming from upstairs*

Allison: Diego that’s the wrong escalator!

Diego: NoT iF i RuN fAsT eNoUgH!!

*starts running up it*

Allison:

Hazel talking to his therapist: You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn’t. It just makes people dead.

The therapist: