robber-of-autumn:

An Unnamed NPC: Lol, there’s not an AI system out there advanced enough to develop its own emotions. Like, name one robot that can truly love someone else?

An Uninvited, Grown-Up Diego Hargreeves:

Diego: *runs up to the down escalator coming from upstairs*

Allison: Diego that’s the wrong escalator!

Diego: NoT iF i RuN fAsT eNoUgH!!

*starts running up it*

Allison:

Klaus: *does drugs in Diego’s car after Dave dies*

Diego: Ok, but just so you know, I’m judging you.

Klaus who is higher than a turtle’s life expectancy: NoT iF I JuDgE yOu FiRsT

Diego:

Diego: Any sign of trouble just give the signal and we come in hard and fast.

Five: What’s the signal?

Klaus: Me screaming.

Klaus: Dee, what’s the phobia of chainsaws called?                

Diego: Common sense.

Klaus: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly ran over.

Diego: You were ran over?!

Klaus: Lightly ran over. I didn’t want to frighten you.

Diego: I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the fuck up.

Luther:…Is it me?

Diego: It’s always you.

allison:gaslight

ben:gatekeep

vanya:girlboss

luther:mansplain

five:manipulate

diego:malewife

+ bonus

klaus:manifest

diego: why are you looking at me through a fork?

five: I’m pretending that you’re in jail

diego:why?

five: it’s spiritually healing

klaus, on google: wow, I love astrology. which planet can I blame for my problems?

diego:earth

diego: people treat me like an idiot, so I’m allowed to act like one from time to time. it’s one of the perks

diego: sorry dude, but we need to finish this so we need to handle it professionally and maturely

klaus: name one time I haven’t acted professionally

diego: you’re holding a juice box

klaus: it stops me from spilling my juice!!

diego: you shouldn’t insult people who are bigger than you

five: then I’d never get to insult anyone, and we can’t have that

the umbrella academy as random images I found in my camera roll

luther:

-

diego:

-

allison:

-

klaus:

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five:

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ben:

-

vanya:

My drawing of the Umbrella Academy!! Please don’t repost!!

In The Umbrella Academy comics, Detective Patch is not a young woman of colour and Diego’s (The Kraken’s) former lover like in the show, but instead an older, Caucasian man with a mustache and shades named Inspector Lupo, who knows and enlists in Diego’s help with missions, like tracking down his wild siblings, though they are all on good terms. He is an important side character throughout the series, from the beginning to present, who regularly affects the plot. In an official motion comic, he’s given a Russian accent.

(Spoilers!) In an eight page one-shot Umbrella Academy comic that takes place thirteen years before the first issue when the Hargreeves were teens, Vanya and Diego start a punk rock band called “The Prime 8’s” with a chimpanzee drummer. Then, after getting in a physical fight, they are shut down by their father, Reginald Hargreeves, who makes arrangements to send Vanya away to Paris to study her violin. They agree to perform one last time to make enough money to run away from the academy together, but Diego bails on Vanya that night to go on a mission, leaving her alone at the gig as the group disbands for the last time.

As an interesting little Easter egg, their first song is titled “I Don’t Wanna Kill the President”, which the academy does in Volume Two: Dallas.