INFJ Traits, Social, Weirdness

Naturally inclined to help others

Natural diplomats because of the ability to see both sides

Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs

INFJs find it easy to make connections with others

INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge

We can’t stop reading people even if we try

Champions for the oppressed and downtrodden

Often neglects to take care of themselves – putting others first

Prone to exhaustion due to the passion of their convictions

Gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive

Self-Expression comes easier on paper than face to face

Artistic and creative

Struggle to adequately express ourselves

Has a deep need to help people “sort out their stuff”

INFJs are inclined to create order and practical systems in their outer world

INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis

Knows things intuitively without knowing how

INFJs are easily affected by other people’s emotions

Have uncanny insight into people and situations

Prefer deep conversations to surface topics

Are protective of their inner selves

Geared to improve themselves through personal growth

Are rarely at complete peace with themselves

Has “little use” for social norms and routines

Always improving themselves and their surroundings

Always testing people to see if we can talk about things that really matter (usually can’t)

Can hold grudges for long periods of time.

We are information addicts, INFJs are the most well-read of all the personality types

Love’s variety in our romantic relationships

We rebel, but also want to be accepted

Losing/ Ending relationships is extremely painful

The whole INFJ existence is bound up in hiding and concealing our true nature

Have very high expectations of themselves

Tendency to take care of others needs while neglecting our own

Most likely of all types to cope with stress by seeing a therapist

Is a naturally nurturing, patient, devoted and protective

Hyper-aware of their surroundings

Are the least able of all the personality types to be in a long-term relationship

If the person we are talking to is too active, they will take a passive role, if the person we are talking to is too passive, we will take an active role.

Mysterious nature

INFJs know we are special and we revel in our rarity

Highly reserved, quiet, thoughtful, and almost above all else – introspective.

They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their children

Prefers careers where they can be creative and somewhat independent

Are very hard on themselves

It’s common for INFJs to intuitively assess their vicinity, and modify their behavior accordingly

To get an INFJ to open up, you must have some degree of depth about you and show that your view of things are not that dissimilar from their own

Always looking for something new, rarely satisfied with the mundane or routine

Not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks in careers

Are highly cerebral and reflective

Wants to be alone about 75% of the time

Very sexual in private, but respectful and dignified in public

INFJs are quiet around you if; they don’t trust you, or they are completely comfortable with you.

Have a natural affinity for art, and may excel in the sciences, using their intuition

Are complex characters with a range of talents and abilities

Has a limited amount of social energy

INFJs are often mistaken for extroverts

Would rather spend time with our creations than with people

Keeps the majority of people in their lives at arm’s length

Because of the high demands of people close to them INFJs frequently withdraw into themselves shutting out the world for a few days

Loyal to those they trust

Wonders why most people are idiots

Does not take kindly to being ignored or interrupted

Natural activists for causes but not for political gain or power

Suffers from emotional overload because of their inherent nature to be “givers”

Has the clear insights into the motivations of others, for good and for evil

Highly empathic – Can feel and sense what others are feeling

Are natural counselors and healers

Hates liars

INFJs are the Archetypal “Loner” by choice

Are moved to champion causes and activities that serve the greater good

Has a strong sense of personal integrity

Natural healers

Are private and selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings

INFJs are far less serious inwardly than they appear outwardly

We like to have things orderly and systematic

Use both sides of the brain equally

How do I spot an INTJ/INFJ?

1. “Death-stare”. The phenomenon has been widely described. When they look at you, you feel as if they were inside your head.

2. They are organized, have their shit together (or at least try to make such impression). Usually dress well. Prefer plain clothing and simple haircuts.

3. In group settings they are the one that doesn’t say much and looks bored/confused/sad.

4. They have some kind of academic interest. Typical intellectuals.

5. Wry, dark sense of humour. Often use sarcasm, especially when talking about “big things”.

6. You will get a“prophet-vibe” from them. Like they were a wandering lunatic, living more inside their heads than in the present moment (although they share this trait with INFJs, but those have more of a “dreamy”, intimate look in their eyes, while an INTJ’s eyes are more analyzing).

7. Their FB profile has little to no activity, but may have an unusual profile/background pic.

8. They read while commuting.

9. Might come off as arrogant, cold. Accidentally say harsh things without even realizing it. Might be extremely judgemental (especially the immature ones).

10. Are very seclusive and private, you may know them for years and have no effin clue who they are and what they do.

11. They will ask open ended questions and will try to get to know who you are inside.

12. They make long pauses while speaking and you can almost feel that they are gathering thoughts. This might change if they open up and feel at ease with you.

What are each MBTI Type’s favourite conversation topics?

INTJ: Nietzche, the future

INTP: Science, what will they create

ENTJ: Their dreams, their idols, politics

ENTP: memes, penny-for-your-thoughts conversations

INFJ: morals, what they want to achieve

INFP: music, their wishes

ENFJ: politics, friendship, their dreams

ENFP: you will not get far before they change the topic to somet- OOH, A BUTTERFLY!!

ISTJ: politics, community, career

ISFJ: service, community

ESTJ: politics, career, bashing lefties

ESFJ: gossip, their kids, wine, cookies

ISTP: any tool or vehicle that they have

ISFP: art, music

ESTP: what they do for fun, parties, music

ESFP: dancing, relationships, parties, music

What things exhaust INFJs?

Parties-we don’t like crowded social engagements.

Sacrificing boundaries-We will do anything for someone we love, but we also have to put ourselves first.

Liars-We can sense a lie from a mile away

People-Negative people who drain our energy and find a problem with every solution

Small talk-We hate small talk, we want to get to know you, everything about you.

Being overstimulated-We are very sensitive to light and noise.

Not recharging-If we aren’t given time to ourselves, that can drain us quickly.

Being put on the spot-We like knowing things and when they will happen ahead of time.

What kind of first impression do INFJs usually make on others?

As an INFJ I can only speak to the feedback I have received from others, but when I reflect on their comments, I do understand how they arrived at their opinions. Some have said that from a distance I seem aloof, disinterested or intimidating, but when personal conversations begin they feel safe with me and open up easily, much to their surprise (I, of course, am not surprised at all). More intuitive people sense my ability to perceive their unspoken feelings and agendas, and respond differently based on their own emotional maturity. It can feel uncomfortable or threatening to some; mysterious to others; gratifying to those very much in need of acceptance; or genuine and altruistic to the few who are at peace with themselves. It depends on the others’ needs. I feel I am congruent personally and publicly, but because I have a God given ability to perceive the needs of others, and I genuinely care, I respond accordingly. Therefore, a group survey of opinions would reflect the diversity.

There are times, of course, when I am tired, overwhelmed with the negative dynamics of a situation or just lost in my own inner world, that I’m sure I really am aloof or disinterested. In general, however, I do sincerely care and want to engage in whatever way I can be of help with the emotional well being of others.

What is a telltale sign you are dealing with an INFJ?

Deep conversations, lighthearted personality, genuine concern, caring about and wanting to talk all about you, a little reserved while they try and figure you out.

How do INFJs read people?

INFJ’s are participant observers

We participate, but observe everything you do and what is going on around us.

We know how to read body language.

We read energy and vibes. If you don’t want to be there, or you are being untruthful, we will know.

We learn and understand you. We get to know you, know how you think, why you think a certain way

We want to know your past hurts so we never take you back to that place

When an INFJ knows you well, we know what you will do or how you will think before you even do.

We pick up on little things

We pick up on intention

We pick up on judgments

We feel everything, we feel every emotion

We use our intuition

Sometimes, this attracts us to narcissists because we can sense the person is in pain, but we think we can help save them, and take away their pain, so we ignore red flags, and that is why we are attracted to them, but then get hurt by them as well

If you are an INFJ, what do you think is the hardest part of having this personality?

Feels alone. INFJs put a very high bar for themselves and others and it’s a problem because some INFJs can easily get disappointing or feel misunderstood. To them, you will never understand our weird way of thinking or our feelings or actions such as being passive despite not wanting to or suddenly wanting to be alone.

Sometimes feeling conflicted. INFJs have a strong set of morals/beliefs and are empathetic. This allows us to see both sides of the argument, most of the time, and this sometimes makes us conflicted on which side to pick to obtain the best outcome. Logic vs Emotions. Selfless vs Selfish. Humble vs Proud.

Being to hard on oneself. Sometimes our first instinct is to blame our self and some of us feel shame all the time. We try really hard to be better than ourselves and good all the time that it gets tiring.

Why can it be so hard for an INFJ to bond with another person?

The INFJs I know tend to reach a general conclusion about people, based on gut feel, within minutes of meeting them. They get put into broad buckets of, someone who is a false / bad / selfish person, people they have nothing in common with (vast majority) or sympathetic / nice people they can get along with.

If you get put in the nice people category bonding with and INFJ is pretty easy.

If you get put in the bad person category it is almost impossible as the INFJ will actively avoid you and wants nothing to do with you.

If you go into the middle category then the INFJ will tend to only have superficial contact with you. From a lack of decent interaction, and once an INFJ has categorised you, you have an unbelievable uphill struggle to form a bond with an INFJ. I have seen it done, especially where the INFJ has another reason they have to be in contact with the person, for example co-workers or their children are best friends - but it is not easy.

How have I become an INFJ?

If you have, congratulations. You just joined the elite club of the following;

1. Being constantly misunderstood and never fully being seen.

2. Having a love/hate relationship with most people because you tend to reflect to them, parts of themselves they’d rather not face.

3. You’ll spend most of your time single and alone, because your brain and nervous system are selfish, and want you all to themselves.

4. Your opinions and views will always be questioned because they aren’t based on “tangible” facts people can relate to. Intuition and extraverted feeling, is a b!*$h.

5. You will always see things deeper than they are, respond more intensely than you should, and analyze more comprehensively than the situation requires. This positions you having to constantly moderate what you share of your knowledge to others, about themselves.

6. Because you experience the depths of human depravity, what you find humourous will almost always be dark, and borderline insensitive. This makes your sense of humour only appreciated by equally dark and doomsday people.

7. You’ll compulsively please people even when you know you shouldn’t nor know they’re being manipulative. You’re an unwilling servant of humanity because your wiring just can’t allow things be as they are, without seeking to see how to make it better.

8. However intelligent and profound what you have to say is, its value is lost due to your inability to express it simply and concisely. Your complex, large-volume-detail-absorbing brain, needs a patient and willing listening ear, to give you the large amounts of time you need to express your complex thought process. Unfortunately, that is a miniscule portion of the population.

How do INFPs handle popularity?

Introduction

Imagine yourself being a 10 year old again….

It’s Thursday morning, 08:00 AM. Your day starts with a gymclass.

You don’t like school, except gym. It has always been your favorite school class. You love to play sports!

Today is basketbal on the schedule, you are extremely content to play your favorite sport.

You enter the gymnastics class.

So the moment arrived, the first thing that has to be done in order to play basketbal is that teams have to be formed.

Your teacher asks Tom and Charlie to pick their own basketbal team. Everyone could see that Tom and Charlie, the most popular boys of the class were feeling honored to pick their favorite team.

Tom picks his best friend Tim. Charlie picks Cathy, which he always plays with at school. Tom picks Bob. Carlie picks Hans. Tom picks Caroline, Charlie picks Robbie.

There are only two people remaining, Jan and You.

You start to get anxious, and afraid. Your hands start to shake and you start to feel dizzy. Terrifying thoughts are filling your mind like: am I being picked last?

The thing that followed was a long awkward silence ……………

The teacher encourages Tom to pick the last team member for his basketbal team.

Tom doesn’t hesitate and picks Jan.

And there you are, staring into darkness, nobody picked you, you are the leftover. You feel like you aren’t good enough, aren’t sporty enough and last: aren’t popular enough.

Sadly they picked the most popular kids, status is important early on. You see, at a very young age, children are influenced by the effect of popularity. It even starts at school as you saw in the example.

So, how do INFPs handle popularity?

We don’t.

We believe that popularity crushes humanity - The INFPs ideal is to achieve equality between humans. Status hierarchies shouldn’t be part of our society. Those hierachies prevent high status from interacting with low status people. So much friendships are never started because we thought that we were ‘’higher’’ on the ladder of social hierarchie. Treat everyone with the same respect.

We dislike attention - Since we are introverts our battery is limited, charging is necessary. It doesn’t take a lot of effort for us to be totally drained. Being watched and feeling constant pressure are the worst energy drainers. We LOVE to be in the background, let us be influential behind the scenes.

We keep our circle SMALL - Imagine the terrifying situation of giving a birthday party in which you have to invite all your 100 FRIENDS because of your immense popularity. This is my worst nightmare. I can count my important people on two hands and I want to keep it that way.

Message to my fellow INFPs:

Don’t be ashamed of yourself for not being popular enough, when you stay the way you are you will find the right, humble, like-minded humans you are looking for. Don’t be pressured to act popular, we are popular in our own unique way. Not admired by 1000 people, constantly followed and looked up to. But being important to the select, small group of people who are worth it to be part of our lives.

Thanks for reading!

What are INFPs good at?

I believe that INFPs are really good at following their “gut instincts.” And I think there’s plenty of good that comes out of this:

• INFPs have this insane ability to feel something or someone out, and just know. Of course, we’re not always 100% accurate, but we are damn close. Likely around 95% accurate. Who knows? Perhaps people around us aren’t honest because they don’t like how INFPs can call someone out when they’re not in a good mood or hiding something hahaha. I’ve had many instances of sensing something off in someone, and they vehemently deny it only to admit to it later on. I knew I was right!

• We’re creative problem-solvers and empathetic. Contrary to the belief that INFPs lack logic/rationality, we are very analytical in a creative sense. We see the details and then we try to connect the dots to see unconventional patterns. We are really good at going past all the symptomatic signs of an issue, and then cutting right to the core value of it to tackle the problem directly. This is extremely helpful when I’m counseling or providing customer service in my job. Most people would want to avoid an agitated person (and rightfully so), but us INFPs are intrigued by it. We’re curious what’s wrong. So we pull closer and listen to the person without judgment or reaction, and then we calmly offer insight, which can diffuse 98% of conflicts surprisingly. We move past the anger and empty words spilling out of the mouth, and we see a wounded soul who feels unheard by the world.

• We have a strong ability to see many shades of gray. We see the positives in almost everything and everyone. While people around us say that “s/he sucks,” we don’t settle with short-fused conclusions. We reason why they are the way they are, what led up to this point, and see how they are the product of their own environment. Of course, we’re not just day-dreaming forgivers by any means, but we can look at a situation beyond the black-and-white way. This is immensely helpful for INFPs in building their strengths and resilience. While everyone around us is saying, “This is bad,” we will look at the good and neutral points of it which helps us to not take things personally and move forward relatively quickly.

• Our imagination is out of this world! We are totally spaced out and thinking of the most random detail or scenario in our own heads. This might seem aloof or detached to others, but I actually really love this part of an INFP. We don’t need constant external stimulation. The party is in our own heads!

• We’re the ultimate independent people. Due to our heavy introverted nature, we are okay doing things alone. So many people around me always ask me, “How can you eat alone? See a movie alone? Or do XYZ alone?” I just do it. I don’t care what people around me think, and if they do then that’s too bad for them. While we enjoy the company of others, we don’t rely on them for us to do the things we really want to do. We don’t follow social pressures, and we often wave our own freak flag proudly.

What is the greatest perk of being in a romantic relationship with an INFP?

Mystery - we are quite dark & keep our deepest emotions only for those that have earned that trust.

Trust - if you get into our good books & stick around we’ll trust you with the most intimate information & secrets about us. CHERISH IT! We don’t open up to just anyone!

Loyalty - We’ll back you to the hilt & see through some of your flaws to protect you.

Caring - Those smoochy kisses & cute hugs are our game when we’re happy. An INFP will bring you a random gift out of the blue. If you show genuine appreciation then expect more.

Dating - INFPs will take you on quirky & weird dates. You’ll never visit a club but he/she will take you on the midnight Jack the Ripper tour of London or to the perfect photograph location of a harbour.

Conflict - We don’t like conflict so will try to resolve our differences with you in order to create a long term harmonious atmosphere.

What are some life tips for an INFP?

• If you want to go and smell that flower, do it. Let people think you’re odd. They’re the ones missing out. <3

• People may say they understand how you feel, but if they tell you you’re exaggerating or you should be over it by now, they obviously don’t understand.

• Yes, daydreaming is a true and wonderful hobby.

• Your ideas and feelings are important. Keep a journal of your thoughts because no one else in this world has your experiences and unique perspective on life.

• This planet can be a pretty harsh place. There are so many examples of violence and sadness in the news. If you need to hide away for a while, do it. It can only help your heart.

• Do all those creative things that make you happy. Try not to let the opinions of others squash your dreams.

• Criticism is difficult. Oh, how I know. Others can’t easily understand how painful it can be to hear. Remember that you have a beautiful soul and their words can not find you there. <3

• That romantic crush may not be real. Give yourself a moment to step back and look at the situation without idealization getting in the way.

• If you feel sad often, get a pet (if you don’t have one). They are ridiculous and cuddly. I swear that a fuzzy baby can seriously change everything.

• If you prefer sad emotional movies over comedies, that’s perfectly okay. Sometimes crying with the characters is exactly what is needed.

• Society is loud, abrasive, and out of control. It’s not uncommon to feel like you were born on the wrong planet.

• I know you have a story to tell. You should write it!

What is it like to be an INFP?

INFP’s are basically cuddly/cold walking contradictions! :D

Sensitive, but strong. Bright but annoyingly dreamy. Introverted, yet love to connect with people.

On the outside, we may appear reserved, detached, shy, or perhaps even cold. But engage us with a new idea, or share an intriguing thought and we light up like human pinball machines. Mature INFP’S tend to crave intellectual encounters and you’ll know you’ve successfully captured our attention when our eyes fill with wonder and sparkle with life. The thoughtful, quiet person in front of you will suddenly transform into a surpringly social and charming creature, full of depth and complexity. When we’ve decided we’ve had our fill of socializing, we are more than happy to retreat back home where we can let our thoughts and imagination roam wild in private. During this time is when we are most creative, either penning entire novels in our mind, (which may or may not make it to paper) creating symphonies in our head, or bringing worlds to life with paint on canvas or molding them from clay with our bare hands. Creating art is where we live!

Although we are dreamy and tend to over-romanticize (literally everyone and everything!) we can also be surprisingly objective at times, and are quite capable of carrying on logical discussions of topics that capture our interest.

It should also be noted that despite our overall gentle, laid-back demeanor, we have a wickedly dark sense of humour that only those closest to us can fully appreciate.

Above all, we value loyalty, honesty, and compassion from those whom we let close, and though we may not show it on the outside, we are deeply hurt when we feel someone has wronged us.

INFJs: what advice can you give a younger INFJ?

My psychologist identified me as leaning INFJ about 20 years ago but I didn’t give it much thought then. I’ve been a “woke” INFJ for ten years as a result of rediscovering the MBTI concept during a difficult time. I wish I hadn’t waited so long as the insights I’ve gained about my own personality and those close to me would have saved a lot of heartache and anguish

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself through the years that I’m reasonably sure apply to many other INFJs too:

You have unique insights. They are real. The unusual internal wiring that makes you an INFJ lets you connect the dots easier. And you see more dots. Some people don’t see any dots or recognize patterns and are more than happy to point out the “error” of your observations. So be it. You’re job is to figure out what “feels” right and should be pursued, what can be put on the back burner awaiting more information, and what can be dumped because after thinking about it you realize your conclusions were probably wrong. It happens.

You will be lonely. INFJs can be unconventional because we act on information most others don’t have. We usually have a broad range of knowledge and can come across as “know-it-alls.” We can sometimes alarm people with our passion. We can start feeling down because we don’t understand how people can be so cruel to one another. Or so stupid. Our faith in humanity can swing wildly from hour to hour. We can do the crowd thing for awhile and need to leave. We usually hate small talk on the phone and are often the worst party planners in the world.

We drive ourselves and others mad to “get things right” and to give a damn about something besides the most trivial things in life. We are usually disappointed—in others and ourselves. It’s not that people don’t like being around us, it’s that we usually think people don’t WANT to be around us. So we hunker down and keep to ourselves.

That’s what can make relationships difficult sometimes. You will need to tap into the best part of being an INFJ—helping people—to keep you from being lonely. I volunteer at a homeless center. I’m active in the US Coast Guard Auxiliary. I write answers on Quora!

You will be able to do a lot of stuff. Some of it well. Most people will be surprised. Most INFJs I know are curious, versatile people. For example, I’ve written two novels, one has been self-published. I play jazz piano and can also play the tuba. I’m conversational in Spanish and know some Swedish. I can hold up my end of a conversation ranging from cosmology to dog grooming. I can talk Southern Country Gospel with a homeless man and discuss the latest power adders for high performance race cars with the editor of a national racing magazine. I did both last week. I sail the Great Lakes in my own boat. I like to cook. I have restored or built six houses. I can plumb bathrooms from scratch, do basic electrical work and restore old wood moulding. I have a four-year certificate in theology. I can paint and draw.

At this point you probably think I’m quite the braggart. That’s not why I’m listing these abilities. The reason is that I can do NONE of these things proficiently. Except sailing–I’m a very good sailor! I suspect that most INFJs who have been around for several decades can make a similar list. Our curiosity and drive to know how something works can lead us to some amazing discoveries and bring us into contact with some fascinating people. Freeing yourself to explore and to try new things without having the burden of having to perform in public or to even be terribly proficient at any of them can lead us to a very interesting life!

You will second guess yourself. Constantly. You are your own worst critic. If you’ve ever had second thoughts about how you came across after submitting a report or talking to someone about something important, remember:

Your second guesses are usually wrong. Trust your intuition!

You may struggle in relationships. INFJs are not easy people to be around sometimes. We can be quirky, sometimes anti-social and have a tendency to tell folks how to build a clock when they ask for the time. We can fret constantly about the state of humanity, when our partner just wants to have a hamburger and talk about movies. The saving grace is that we love hard! When we’ve found someone we can be ourselves with, someone who accepts us, if not understands us, we’re there for the long-haul. The people in your life who get that will adore you!

Finally, strive to know yourself better. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t forget to have fun. Don’t worry so much about what other people may be thinking about you—chances are they aren’t thinking anything! And above all, be kind to yourself!

What are INFJs really good at?

As an INFJ…

I can read people’s energies immediately upon meeting them or engaging with them. I pick up on their vibes, and kind of almost “read their aura” without challenge.

I have a hyperactive brain, and I have great trouble with slowing it down or “turning it off.” As a result, I worry far too much!

I am very interested in human emotion and human psychology. I thoroughly enjoy figuring people out, and helping them to figure them selves out. As much as I dislike people and work hard to avoid them, I also enjoy engaging with them in order to study them, all the same.

I care very deeply for those who are closest to me. I embrace quality over quantity in my social relationships, and I cherish strong emotional connections.

I quickly become bored with and/or irritated by meaningless chit-chat and “tabloid talk.” I do not care to socialize unless I’m either able to engage in friendly debate about social or political topics, or am able to engage in deep meaningful conversation about intellectually or creatively-stimulating topics.

I tend to think that everything is about me, but ONLY when “everything” is negative. I hate being in the spotlight, but I will drag myself into it when i feel as though someone else’s misfortune might somehow be my fault. Usually the issue in question has nothing to do with me, and I end up worrying for no reason (story of my life).

I enjoy playing “counselor” or “therapist” for others. I am very good at examining and solving other people’s problems, while I constantly neglect to examine and solve my own!

I have a STRONG need for creativity. I need to express myself through art in various forms. When I deprive myself of artistic expression I retreat, become depressed, and ultimately shame and berate myself. Verbal communication has always been much more of a task for me than artistic communication has been.

I become easily frustrated when I attempt to do something without success on the first or second try. I am highly perfectionist at the core, and I feel as though I should be able to master whatever I attempt. -no room for error-

I become obsessed with things out of nowhere, and spend much of my time researching my topic of interest. However, I soon get bored and move on to another topic just as quickly as the one before, about which I also obsess..

I always assume that others are judging or questioning me. I am very self-conscious, especially when it comes to decision-making. I always feel like I’m misunderstood and judged by a large majority of people about how I choose to live and interact.

Loud noises bother and overwhelm me, as do large crowds of obnoxious [drunk] people. My energy drains so quickly around any kind of volume of people or of sound. I need peace and quiet in order to be productive or to enjoy myself.

I am able to adapt to, and find common ground with, all different kinds of people - no matter age, race, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious views, etc. I love relating to and finding common ground with others, especially those who seem quite different from me.

I have always preferred the company of those who are significantly older than I. This was quite the case from a very early age, and has yet to change in adulthood.

Personality and emotional connection have ALWAYS been the roots of my attraction to the opposite sex, rather than physical appearance and/or financial status.

I would much rather receive a note, poem, or drawing from a loved one rather than a material/store-bought gift with a high price tag.

I am attracted to modesty and a humanitarian nature. I am attracted to selflessness, artistic ability, an open mind, and a tendency to forgive and lack judgment.

I am always seeking approval from my loved ones and, more so as a child, my peers. I have always felt very much like an alien when it comes to the ways that I function and view the world. I am a loner by nature, and as I age, I tend to appreciate and respect that aspect of myself more and more.

I struggle with the challenges of being a “highly sensitive person,” which tends to come with substance abuse issues, depression, and anxiety, to name a few. I feel and absorb other people’s emotions and fail regularly to protect myself from them. I am constantly drained and overloaded by a combination of the emotions of others and my internal thoughts.

I expect for others to understand when I retreat and become reclusive, yet rarely they do. I have a bad habit of isolating myself during times of immense stress. It typically does not benefit me in many ways to do this, yet I always think that it will.

I procrastinate and often put off my “to'do list” or responsibilities due to feeling bogged down by mundane tasks. I am always searching for the bigger picture, and feel as though I need instant gratification without applying necessary steps and work.

What are the five things INFJs value most in life?

THE FIVE THINGS-This indicates that these 5 things would be universal to all INFJ as the only 5 things that we value.

There are things that every INFJ values, but there are things that will always be individualistic.

I will describe some things that INFJ’s value and also indicate which are personal items which might not be for all INFJ.

Family-INFJ’s value family and those we care about. We are very protective of those we love, do not mess with an INFJ’s family.

Loyalty-If we care for you, and we are vulnerable with you, honor that. Don’t lie to us, be inauthentic, or abandon us simply because things aren’t as you envision.

Honesty-Tell us the truth no matter how difficult it might be. We will respect you more if you are upfront with us.

Sex, Personal one-I need sex and intimacy. A love language of physical touch. This is something I will never waver on.

Authenticity-Show me who you are, show me what you stand for. Some me that you are consistent with whatever values you hold

Do INFJs know that they are different?

I think on some fundamental level, yes. I think this is why after getting this “diagnosis” and how rare it is, it is often a huge relief. That is, its not that there’s anything fundamentally wrong with INFJs, its just that they process things in a very unusual manner to most other people. 

This rarity then prompts INFJs to find other like-minded people to share experiences, opinions and thoughts. Online communities like this also have the bonus of doing everything in written form which is a strength of many INFJs. 

After wondering for so long what is wrong with them, to find that there’s a whole bunch of people who think like you is very comforting and allows for understanding, self-improvement (which INFJs are big on) and commonality of thoughts. 

Although, on many occasions they enjoy being the odd one out, every now and then its nice to not have to stick out like a sore thumb and just be able to be themselves. Those that make an effort to understand INFJs are treated like gold because they know that people like that; people who take the time to get to know them and genuinely want to do so, are few and far between. 

INFJ Strengths

•Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counsellors and advisors.

•Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.

•Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.

•Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.

•Determined and Passionate – When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.

•Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

•Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.

•Extremely Private – INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.

•Perfectionistic – INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.

•Always Need to Have a Cause – INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.

•Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.