Do other INFJ’s have trouble communicating their thoughts and feelings?

Yes.

INFJ have trouble communicating their thoughts and feelings.

It is one of the banes of an INFJ’s existence.

Romantically, we won’t articulate how we feel about someone until we are 1000% sure they feel the same way or that they have told us first.

Sometimes we feel that when a person knows us well, they should always know what they mean, that isn’t always true. If we don’t say anything, they won’t know.

We let people take advantage of us and sacrifice our boundaries when we love and care for someone until we stand up for ourselves.

We use music to speak for us.

We write better than we speak, so if you want to know how we truly feel, ask us to write you a letter.

Music can say things that we can’t find the words to say.

Many of us do not like rejection, especially in dating, so we sit on the sidelines more often than not unless we know the person is interested.

We let things that bother us slide when we care for you

Many people don’t value our opinion, and if we discover it, we find other ways to show others that we have a lot to bring to the table

An INFJ has to trust you to be comfortable and vulnerable

Our body language and facial expressions can say more than our words may ever.

Be patient and help INFJ’s be comfortable around you if you want to know and understand who they are at their core, loving individuals.

We are just so afraid of prior hurts occurring again that we become guarded

Ironically, we INFJs can feel like we’re made to understand others, yet others don’t understand us.

INFJs: what advice can you give a younger INFJ?

My psychologist identified me as leaning INFJ about 20 years ago but I didn’t give it much thought then. I’ve been a “woke” INFJ for ten years as a result of rediscovering the MBTI concept during a difficult time. I wish I hadn’t waited so long as the insights I’ve gained about my own personality and those close to me would have saved a lot of heartache and anguish

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself through the years that I’m reasonably sure apply to many other INFJs too:

You have unique insights. They are real. The unusual internal wiring that makes you an INFJ lets you connect the dots easier. And you see more dots. Some people don’t see any dots or recognize patterns and are more than happy to point out the “error” of your observations. So be it. You’re job is to figure out what “feels” right and should be pursued, what can be put on the back burner awaiting more information, and what can be dumped because after thinking about it you realize your conclusions were probably wrong. It happens.

You will be lonely. INFJs can be unconventional because we act on information most others don’t have. We usually have a broad range of knowledge and can come across as “know-it-alls.” We can sometimes alarm people with our passion. We can start feeling down because we don’t understand how people can be so cruel to one another. Or so stupid. Our faith in humanity can swing wildly from hour to hour. We can do the crowd thing for awhile and need to leave. We usually hate small talk on the phone and are often the worst party planners in the world.

We drive ourselves and others mad to “get things right” and to give a damn about something besides the most trivial things in life. We are usually disappointed—in others and ourselves. It’s not that people don’t like being around us, it’s that we usually think people don’t WANT to be around us. So we hunker down and keep to ourselves.

That’s what can make relationships difficult sometimes. You will need to tap into the best part of being an INFJ—helping people—to keep you from being lonely. I volunteer at a homeless center. I’m active in the US Coast Guard Auxiliary. I write answers on Quora!

You will be able to do a lot of stuff. Some of it well. Most people will be surprised. Most INFJs I know are curious, versatile people. For example, I’ve written two novels, one has been self-published. I play jazz piano and can also play the tuba. I’m conversational in Spanish and know some Swedish. I can hold up my end of a conversation ranging from cosmology to dog grooming. I can talk Southern Country Gospel with a homeless man and discuss the latest power adders for high performance race cars with the editor of a national racing magazine. I did both last week. I sail the Great Lakes in my own boat. I like to cook. I have restored or built six houses. I can plumb bathrooms from scratch, do basic electrical work and restore old wood moulding. I have a four-year certificate in theology. I can paint and draw.

At this point you probably think I’m quite the braggart. That’s not why I’m listing these abilities. The reason is that I can do NONE of these things proficiently. Except sailing–I’m a very good sailor! I suspect that most INFJs who have been around for several decades can make a similar list. Our curiosity and drive to know how something works can lead us to some amazing discoveries and bring us into contact with some fascinating people. Freeing yourself to explore and to try new things without having the burden of having to perform in public or to even be terribly proficient at any of them can lead us to a very interesting life!

You will second guess yourself. Constantly. You are your own worst critic. If you’ve ever had second thoughts about how you came across after submitting a report or talking to someone about something important, remember:

Your second guesses are usually wrong. Trust your intuition!

You may struggle in relationships. INFJs are not easy people to be around sometimes. We can be quirky, sometimes anti-social and have a tendency to tell folks how to build a clock when they ask for the time. We can fret constantly about the state of humanity, when our partner just wants to have a hamburger and talk about movies. The saving grace is that we love hard! When we’ve found someone we can be ourselves with, someone who accepts us, if not understands us, we’re there for the long-haul. The people in your life who get that will adore you!

Finally, strive to know yourself better. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t forget to have fun. Don’t worry so much about what other people may be thinking about you—chances are they aren’t thinking anything! And above all, be kind to yourself!

What are INFJs really good at?

As an INFJ…

I can read people’s energies immediately upon meeting them or engaging with them. I pick up on their vibes, and kind of almost “read their aura” without challenge.

I have a hyperactive brain, and I have great trouble with slowing it down or “turning it off.” As a result, I worry far too much!

I am very interested in human emotion and human psychology. I thoroughly enjoy figuring people out, and helping them to figure them selves out. As much as I dislike people and work hard to avoid them, I also enjoy engaging with them in order to study them, all the same.

I care very deeply for those who are closest to me. I embrace quality over quantity in my social relationships, and I cherish strong emotional connections.

I quickly become bored with and/or irritated by meaningless chit-chat and “tabloid talk.” I do not care to socialize unless I’m either able to engage in friendly debate about social or political topics, or am able to engage in deep meaningful conversation about intellectually or creatively-stimulating topics.

I tend to think that everything is about me, but ONLY when “everything” is negative. I hate being in the spotlight, but I will drag myself into it when i feel as though someone else’s misfortune might somehow be my fault. Usually the issue in question has nothing to do with me, and I end up worrying for no reason (story of my life).

I enjoy playing “counselor” or “therapist” for others. I am very good at examining and solving other people’s problems, while I constantly neglect to examine and solve my own!

I have a STRONG need for creativity. I need to express myself through art in various forms. When I deprive myself of artistic expression I retreat, become depressed, and ultimately shame and berate myself. Verbal communication has always been much more of a task for me than artistic communication has been.

I become easily frustrated when I attempt to do something without success on the first or second try. I am highly perfectionist at the core, and I feel as though I should be able to master whatever I attempt. -no room for error-

I become obsessed with things out of nowhere, and spend much of my time researching my topic of interest. However, I soon get bored and move on to another topic just as quickly as the one before, about which I also obsess..

I always assume that others are judging or questioning me. I am very self-conscious, especially when it comes to decision-making. I always feel like I’m misunderstood and judged by a large majority of people about how I choose to live and interact.

Loud noises bother and overwhelm me, as do large crowds of obnoxious [drunk] people. My energy drains so quickly around any kind of volume of people or of sound. I need peace and quiet in order to be productive or to enjoy myself.

I am able to adapt to, and find common ground with, all different kinds of people - no matter age, race, gender, sexual orientation, political or religious views, etc. I love relating to and finding common ground with others, especially those who seem quite different from me.

I have always preferred the company of those who are significantly older than I. This was quite the case from a very early age, and has yet to change in adulthood.

Personality and emotional connection have ALWAYS been the roots of my attraction to the opposite sex, rather than physical appearance and/or financial status.

I would much rather receive a note, poem, or drawing from a loved one rather than a material/store-bought gift with a high price tag.

I am attracted to modesty and a humanitarian nature. I am attracted to selflessness, artistic ability, an open mind, and a tendency to forgive and lack judgment.

I am always seeking approval from my loved ones and, more so as a child, my peers. I have always felt very much like an alien when it comes to the ways that I function and view the world. I am a loner by nature, and as I age, I tend to appreciate and respect that aspect of myself more and more.

I struggle with the challenges of being a “highly sensitive person,” which tends to come with substance abuse issues, depression, and anxiety, to name a few. I feel and absorb other people’s emotions and fail regularly to protect myself from them. I am constantly drained and overloaded by a combination of the emotions of others and my internal thoughts.

I expect for others to understand when I retreat and become reclusive, yet rarely they do. I have a bad habit of isolating myself during times of immense stress. It typically does not benefit me in many ways to do this, yet I always think that it will.

I procrastinate and often put off my “to'do list” or responsibilities due to feeling bogged down by mundane tasks. I am always searching for the bigger picture, and feel as though I need instant gratification without applying necessary steps and work.

What are the five things INFJs value most in life?

THE FIVE THINGS-This indicates that these 5 things would be universal to all INFJ as the only 5 things that we value.

There are things that every INFJ values, but there are things that will always be individualistic.

I will describe some things that INFJ’s value and also indicate which are personal items which might not be for all INFJ.

Family-INFJ’s value family and those we care about. We are very protective of those we love, do not mess with an INFJ’s family.

Loyalty-If we care for you, and we are vulnerable with you, honor that. Don’t lie to us, be inauthentic, or abandon us simply because things aren’t as you envision.

Honesty-Tell us the truth no matter how difficult it might be. We will respect you more if you are upfront with us.

Sex, Personal one-I need sex and intimacy. A love language of physical touch. This is something I will never waver on.

Authenticity-Show me who you are, show me what you stand for. Some me that you are consistent with whatever values you hold

Do INFJs know that they are different?

I think on some fundamental level, yes. I think this is why after getting this “diagnosis” and how rare it is, it is often a huge relief. That is, its not that there’s anything fundamentally wrong with INFJs, its just that they process things in a very unusual manner to most other people. 

This rarity then prompts INFJs to find other like-minded people to share experiences, opinions and thoughts. Online communities like this also have the bonus of doing everything in written form which is a strength of many INFJs. 

After wondering for so long what is wrong with them, to find that there’s a whole bunch of people who think like you is very comforting and allows for understanding, self-improvement (which INFJs are big on) and commonality of thoughts. 

Although, on many occasions they enjoy being the odd one out, every now and then its nice to not have to stick out like a sore thumb and just be able to be themselves. Those that make an effort to understand INFJs are treated like gold because they know that people like that; people who take the time to get to know them and genuinely want to do so, are few and far between. 

INFJ Strengths

•Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counsellors and advisors.

•Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.

•Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.

•Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.

•Determined and Passionate – When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.

•Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.

INFJ Weaknesses

•Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.

•Extremely Private – INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.

•Perfectionistic – INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.

•Always Need to Have a Cause – INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.

•Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.

INFJ vs INFP

Similarities:

Both are private. Both are idealists. Both can be perfectionists. Both are insightful, analytical, logical, and meticulous. And both are intuitives, preferring the abstract over black and white.

The biggest difference?

INFP is highly in tune with their own feelings 

INFJ is usually oblivious to theirs

INFP’s dominant function is Fi (their own feelings), but INFJ doesn’t even have Fi in their stack. (Same for ISFJ.) Instead, their “F” is extroverted (Fe) — which is other people.

INFP has ever-expanding ideas …inspired by feelings 

INFJ has ever-narrowing “insights” … about people

it’s the INFP who speaks fluent “ideas and dreams”

INFP is inspiration, with insight

INFJ is insight, with inspiration

At their worst:

INFP replays the past to relive emotions, and is sensitive (not critical)

INFJ gets lost in “white noise” / “nothingness,” and is critical (not sensitive)

When desperate:

INFP obliterates their creativity with convention (ending up soul-crushed)

INFJ obliterates their thinking with hedonistic indulgences (ending up ill)

Their insecurity / fear (or: the biggest insult):

INFP — “you’re not special,” “you’re too sensitive/naïve/spaced out”

INFJ — “your insights aren’t meaningful,” or “your life is meaningless”

INFP feels pride from being unique and being seen that way

INFJ feels pain from not being understood or connecting with others

INFJ biggest value isn’t “authenticity” but rather “universal meaning.” They are merely a vessel, and their F is focused on others, not self (their thoughts and insights — not feelings — are what’s focused internally, and sometimes INFJs are utterly blind to their own emotions.)

As Heidi Priebe wrote,

“Because INFPs tend to be highly creative and individualistic, most of them have never met another person quite like themselves (including other INFPs). For this reason, they find it fitting that their type is 1% of the population — they think this explains their individuality, when in reality it is their introverted feeling that sets them apart.”

Deepest desire:

INFJs want universal insight on other people (INFP doesn’t reallycare)

INFP wants unique expression of self (INFJ doesn’t really care)

What is an INFJ?

INFJ is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Judging. INFJ indicates a person who is energized by time alone (Introverted), who focuses on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details (iNtuitive), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and who prefers to be planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexible (Judging). INFJs are sometimes referred to as Counselor personalities.

What are INFJs like?

INFJs are creative nurturers with a strong sense of personal integrity and a drive to help others realize their potential. Creative and dedicated, they have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges.

The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others’ emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people. Although they are sensitive, they are also reserved; the INFJ is a private sort, and is selective about sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.

What are the core values of the INFJ?

INFJs are guided by a deeply considered set of personal values. They are intensely idealistic, and can clearly imagine a happier and more perfect future. They can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present, but they are typically motivated and persistent in taking positive action nonetheless. The INFJ feels an intrinsic drive to do what they can to make the world a better place.

INFJs want a meaningful life and deep connections with other people. They do not tend to share themselves freely but appreciate emotional intimacy with a select, committed few. Although their rich inner life can sometimes make them seem mysterious or private to others, they profoundly value authentic connections with people they trust.

How can I recognize an INFJ?

INFJs often appear quiet, caring and sensitive, and may be found listening attentively to someone else’s ideas or concerns. They are highly perceptive about people and want to help others achieve understanding. INFJs are not afraid of complex personal problems; in fact, they are quite complex themselves, and have a rich inner life that few are privy to. They reflect at length on issues of ethics, and feel things deeply. Because Counselors initially appear so gentle and reserved, they may surprise others with their intensity when one of their values is threatened or called into question. Their calm exterior belies the complexity of their inner worlds.

Because INFJs are such complex people, they may be reluctant to engage with others who might not understand or appreciate them, and can thus be hard to get to know. Although they want to get along with others and support them in their goals, they are fiercely loyal to their own system of values and will not follow others down a path that does not feel authentic to them. When they sense that their values are not being respected, or when their intuition tells them that someone’s intentions are not pure, they are likely to withdraw.

Who are some famous INFJs?

Famous INFJs include Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Emily Bronte, Carl Jung, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Florence Nightingale, Shirley MacLaine, Jimmy Carter, and Edward Snowden.

How common is the INFJ personality type?

INFJ is the rarest type in the population. It is the least common type among men, and the third least common among women (after INTJ and ENTJ). INFJs make up:

2% of the general population

2% of women

1% of men

What do INFJs like to do?

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.

Infj

Sensitive, empathic, and insightful, you care deeply about people, wanting to accommodate them on the one hand, and having strong visions that you desperately want to turn into reality on the other. Often preoccupied with mulling over your personal thoughts in your own head, others are likely to describe you as tolerant, courteous, and appreciative, but also a bit remote and dreamy. Thoughtful and caring, you have a well-developed facility for putting yourself in another person’s place and an instinctive understanding of how people work. Though you tend to spend considerable time fantasizing about how society could be improved, you typically refrain from arguing passionately in favor of your solutions. Instead, you prefer to influence others by gently letting them know how their individual contributions would be invaluable in the greater scheme of things.

What are tell-tale signs you are an INFJ?

19 Signs That You’re an INFJ

1. From a young age, you felt different from the people around you

When you were young, you had plenty of friends but you never felt like you truly fit in. Sometimes you faked being more like them so they would accept you, but deep inside you felt that it’s not right.

2. You want to know what’s really going on in people’s lives

Not just trivial stuff like what they did this weekend or what they bought on their latest shopping trip. You want to dig deep and get at the things that no one else sees. What does the person in front of you really think? How does this person really feel? The fake facade they put up for other people doesn’t fool you.

3. Plans

You feel more comfortable having a loose plan for things than you do completely winging it.

4. You’re social, but you are not really social

You can be both incredibly shy, quiet, and withdrawn, as well as charming, fun, and hilarious. It’s all about the situation, your mood, and energy levels, and most important, the people you’re with.

5. How you handle problems

When someone comes to you with a problem, you usually don’t give them advice or your opinion unless they ask. Instead, you ask them questions to help them better understand the situation and their own feelings about it. Sometimes you tell a story of a time when something similar happened to you, in the hope that they’ll draw their own lesson. You feel like you can usually see the path they should take, but you don’t want them to do it just because you told them to. You want it to be their decision.

6. There are limits to your introversion

You are an introvert and you like alone time, but you can’t be alone for too long. Eventually you need to reunite with your people. “Your people” are a handful of good friends who truly get you. It can be just one person as well. Deep conversations with these people are priceless, and hanging out with them can actually boost your energy.

7. The door slam

You’ve been known to suddenly cut people out of your life when they’ve hurt you one too many times. It’s not that you enjoy cutting people out, rather, you do this simply to protect yourself. Even though you may look like you have it together on the outside, you’re extremely sensitive inwardly, and you’re especially sensitive to other people’s words and actions.

8. You can be a people-pleaser

Sometimes you try so hard to make other people happy that you forget to make yourself happy.

9. Empathy

You often feel like you see precisely what someone else is feeling, and you believe you know what they need deep down. You’re not always right, but you tend to be more perceptive than most.

10. You have a destiny

You feel like you’re destined for so much more than just dragging yourself to your 9-5 job to pay the bills. You want to help people and change the world & not just get a paycheck. The problem is you either don’t know what your “glorious purpose” is, or you have an inkling, but you don’t know how to achieve it.

11. Always striving

You almost always have this sinking feeling like you could be doing better with your life. This results in you constantly have secret self-improvement projects going on, like learning how to cook healthy meals, setting better boundaries, or getting better at articulating yourself. Sometimes you push yourself too hard as you attempt to achieve your “perfect” life.

12. Your defence mechanism

Sometimes you turn to people-pleasing to protect yourself. You’re sensitive, so you can get really bothered when someone criticizes you or is disappointed in you. They can’t criticize you if you make them happy.

13. You sense things

You often immediately sense the mood of a room when you walk into it. Likewise, you often absorb the feelings of the people around you. If they’re excited, you get excited. If they’re anxious, you get anxious, too. You tend to gravitate toward calm, centered people so you don’t have to deal with as much emotional garbage.

14. Nothing but class

You’re drawn to high-quality things, like good food, nice clothes, and anything else that has good craftsmanship. As much as you hate to admit it, the way things look is important to you. You like being surrounded by beauty, and you tend to have sophisticated, refined tastes. But you’re a minimalist at heart. You’d rather have one or two really nice shirts than ten mediocre ones.

15. Your secret feelings

You care deeply about the people in your life, but they’ll probably never know just how much you care, because you keep your feelings mostly to yourself. You can have trouble articulating your emotions, even though you feel them intensely.

16. You care a lot

You’re usually thoughtful, conscientious, and considerate. Other people who are not as conscientious can seem callous and even cruel.

17. Books

You love learning, especially when it comes to psychology, self-improvement, spirituality, and certain sciences.

18. Your head is way beyond the clouds

When everyone else is gossiping, discussing celebs, or talking about other trivial things, you often find yourself thinking about outer space, time travel, human nature, the meaning of life, and other more epic topics like entrepreneurship. You rarely try to steer the conversation in that direction, though, because you don’t think other people will be interested.

19. You didn’t ask to be like this

Other people see you as wise, insightful, and almost spiritual. They often come to you for advice and emotional support. You relish your role as the “wise one,” and you like being needed. But sometimes it becomes too much. You’re an introvert, for crying out loud, and sometimes you just wish everyone would solve their own problems and leave you alone for a while.

Source:@6ejt

To which MBTI type are INFJs drawn to?

INFJs (NiFe) are a rare breed of individuals who possess both the insatiable thirst to know the unknowable and a level of compassion arguably only rivaled by a SiFe or FeSi. This explains why INFJs are referred to as the best thinkers among the feelers of the spectrum. When healthy, they can temper their emotions with logic and sound reasoning.

There’s a flip side to this, however. When left unchecked, INFJs tend to hold out judgment on people because their extraverted feeling (Fe) tells their introverted intuition (Ni) that “there are more than meets the eye.” This makes INFJs unwitting lovers of enigmatic people. They are easily drawn to people from extreme opposites: Those who make them better, and those who frustrate them. Whether or not they’d admit, they simply love reading people who aren’t easy to understand—or even worse, those who don’t wish to be understood.

Generally, INFJs are attracted to people who:

Can challenge their values and beliefs and encourage them to evaluate their emotions and decisions (ENTPs -> NeTi)

Are notoriously as introverted and private—if not more—as them, but leaps and bounds harder to read (INTJs -> NiTe)

Are generally considered dorky when with the INFJs (INTPs -> TiNe)

Look and view life with positivity and brimming optimism seen in the opening of any vivacious musical film (ENFPs -> NeFi)

Share the same values and tendencies as them (fellow INFJs -> NiFe)

Why is everyone so obsessed with INFJs?

INFJs are natural masters of mirroring emotions (that is, they shadow your subconscious in a way that disarms you because you see your feelings mirrored in them) . They are introverts, but come across extraverted in individual exchanges for this reason (warm and inviting). They don’t directly challenge people, but instead get people to challenge themselves. That is, they are disarming due to their ability to quickly read others body language, emotions and genuine feelings about, well anything. In this, they are adept at getting others to feel comfortable — opening up.

Talking with an INFJ for a short period of time leaves me feeling comfortable communicating about all kinds of things I wouldn’t normally share with a stranger (that is, I quickly feel understood where few understand me). The exchange is one direction, by design, and that’s not really on purpose but just a natural process of INFJ exchange. For when you step back and think about it you realize that the INFJ hasn’t really shared much of their own feelings, but rather they created a very safe non threatening place for you to express your own - and in the moment you feel on the same page as them. This is what intrigues me most about INFJs, they have very strong values and opinions but often don’t share them out of respect for a deeper and stronger desire to allow people to be authentically themselves - that is, they don’t want to poison other’s natural opinions by injecting their own that may conflict. In this regard, the INFJ feels connected to a human and they are driven to understand and help others feel understood. This culminates in their desire to help people help themselves and become more full. The paradox here is that the INFJ wants to be understood too, but they are guarded (I suspect out of a human state [or projection] of feeling others can read them the way they read people so well — as an INFJ it must be scary to think someone could look into their soul and see so transparently how they really feel about the world, it’s easier to keep that hidden so that it doesn’t disrupt the harmony they’ve created with the other). It takes a lot of connection and a long time for an INFJ to really trust themselves to share their true feelings (the deep dark sides of their soul) with others.

What this does, is it creates this mysterious draw towards the INFJ who can quickly clam up and withdraw from exchanges when the world bares down on them (which it does often). This leaves people (particularly other deep, intuitive types) wanting to understand them. I have yet to meet an INFJ that I wasn’t intrigued by. They are deep and caring souls, who often take on the weight of the world for those they mentor and care for. The best I can articulate it is to assign them the title sherpard of souls - to those fortunate enough to be in their world. It’s only natural to want to return the favor, in trying to understand them better.

ENFP: I feel so lonely all the time. My mind keeps telling me I will die alone.

ENTP to INTJ: Dude we should do a types under quarantine post.

ENFP: I tell you something and you wanna make a meme about it? I’m leaving.

INTJ: Omg. Make this conversation into a post.

ENTP: It’s not a meme btw it’s a study!

Yes, we’re sure. Stop asking us if we’re sure.

My mother (ENFP): Do you want some of my food?

Me (INTJ): No thanks, I’m good.

Mother: Are you sure? I really can’t eat it all.

Me: Yes, I’m sure.

Mother: But it’s going to waste!!!

Me:Omg mom

Person: Awww, you’re so quiet! You don’t have to be shy

Intj, in their head: I’m not shy, I’m watching and listening so I can analyze your behavior and see if you’re worth my time.

Intj, out loud: I’m NoT SHy!

Person: Sure, sweetie. You’re so cute!!!

Intj: .-. I know how to murder you and get away with it.

Your asks were closed! What do you think about when you don’t have anything else to think about?

Well that explains a lot. I have no idea how that happened, but it’s fixed now.

Um… Hm… I don’t know. It depends on the day, to be honest, but usually I’m thinking about the future. Things that might happen, scenarios I wish would happen, problems that may come up and how to solve them. Things like that.

Ask that I messed up because my phone sucks:

Intj to Intj, what do you think about humanity?

Ha… Ha…

I think that humanity has great potential, if it could only get out of the cycle of selfishness and depravity that it finds itself currently stuck in.

In honor of 1,000 followers…

Ask me anything (that doesn’t jeopardize my physical security), and I shall answer. You now have free reign to get an INTJ to talk about their feelings, and I pledge to give actual, thought out, not sarcastic responses.

So uh… Yeah.

*grateful sputtering*

INTJ: Oh wow, I’m really attracted to this person. They seem nice and cool and interesting. I might really like them.

INTJ:…

INTJ: Time to go full Darcy and pretend I barely know of their existence, because that’s how you flirt, right?

INTJ: I am darkness. I am the night. The compassion I once possessed has shriveled away into nothingness, along with what used to be my cold, black heart.

ENFP: Yesterday you picked up three shopping carts in the parking lot and put them away. They weren’t even yours. They weren’t even near your car.

INTJ:I AM DARKNESS

To the people who have reposted my posts on Instagram:

I see them, and nothing inflates my ego more. I legit squealed for the first time in years because “OH MY GOD ENTP LOOK SOMEONE POSTED MY THING ON INSTAGRAM FLhogowowkLBOAPAKGL!!!!”

So uh… Yeah. Thanks for making my day. You’re awesome. You made this INTJ very happy.

Thank you for 900 followers!

I honestly never expected to get that many followers?? Thank you so much guys! I really appreciate each and every one of you.

Since 1000 followers is actually an achievable goal, I was thinking of doing a special thing to commemorate it when/if it happens.

Would you guys like to see:

A: Me answer a questionnaire? Some questions by you guys, some off a random pinterest questionnaire.

B: Post some of my art?

C: Other (face reveal not included, sorry guys)?

Lemme know!

*INTJ and ENTP are hanging out and a Thing™ happens, and someone shows genuine, unbridled heartbreak and starts sobbing*

INTJ:Repress, repress, repress

INTJ:Repress gosh darn it you’re not going to sympathy cry here.

INTJ: *tears up*

ENTP: Hah. Crybaby.

INTJ: Says the jerk who is also crying.

ENTP, with visible tears running down their face: I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Brought to you by a Thing™ that actually happened.

Thank you for 800 followers!

Good gosh why do you people like this trash??

Thank you very much for your support! I really appreciate it, and hope that I continue to make content that you guys enjoy.

Thank you for 500 followers!

In honor of this important occasion, I am going to do something that, as an INTJ, I don’t do enough.

Free hugs for everyone! Yay!!!! Oh god I’m gonna die

…

No, guys. I’m serious. I’m actually offering free hugs. Take advantage of it while you can. It’s not going to happen again.

The types as things they’ve said in my presence:

INFJ: Do you think that will hurt their feelings??

ENFJ: I’m great at boosting other people’s self esteem! Keep me around.

INFP: Do you think if fairys were real they’d be like the ones in fairy tales, or the really evil creatures that steal babies?

ENFP: *while running errands* OH! Let’s go to that plant nursery. I want to buy some flowers!

ENTP: What? Are you saying you don’t like my driving? You think I’m gonna crash?

INTP: *shaking a Tupperware container* This dish empty!

INTJ, in response to INTP: *perfectly monotone voice* Yeet.

ENTJ: *claps hands together* Okay so let’s do this. *continues to instruct people on how to do a thing*

ISFJ: I made pie for you guys. One for each of you.

ESFJ: I didn’t hurt your feelings did I? I feel like I hurt your feelings (Don’t worry, ESFJ. According to the internet, I don’t have feelings. You’re good).

ISFP: Fam. My dude. My man. My bruh. Turn signals were invented for a reason.

ESFP: Okay, we’re going to Chipotle now.

ISTP: Yeah no, actually- *launches into a long lecture about why whatever the person just said was wrong*

ESTP: You’ve got to be kidding me.

ISTJ: *intense sighing* *Looks at person like they’re an idiot*

ESTJ: *Intense sighing* *proceeds to tell person why they’re an idiot*

*A Thing™ happens and someone INTJ cares about gets upset*

INTJ: This person is upset. I should do something.

INTJ: Should I hug them? No, no its not that serious. They’re not crying.

INTJ: Maybe I should just ignore it?

INTJ: Crap they’re almost crying. Crap. What do I do.

INTJ:…

INTJ: *awkwardly pats the upset person and then pretends nothing happened*