Loki runs his fingers through Y/N’s hair as she lays on his bed, sleeping off the remainder of the intoxication. Stephen assessed her moments ago, though the altered scent alone indicative of the drugs that are still in her system.
The letter written in her blood sits heavy in his pocket. The scent unfamiliar, but the vampire had watched them. Watched Y/N.
Loki needed to know what made her get into the allure of narcotics. She could have wanted temporary distraction? How had she become an addict?
Guilt breaks through him. If he would not have left he could have protected her earlier. Kept her safe, and not have broken the heart that she trusted him to keep.
Thor enters the room, a hesitance laced in his movements, “Brother, please do not react without thinking.”
The younger sibling’s eyebrows furrow in confusion then in anger.
“You brought them here?” It takes everything in him not to pull away from Y/N to lunge at Thor for bringing the three witch coven members into the house.
“They may have a theory.” Thor attempts to explain.
“So based on a whim of theirs you bring them into my home? Seriously brother what goes on in that buffoonery fuelled head of yours!” His voice rises in crescendo, red rims surround his green irises.
“Brother.” Thor warns glancing at Y/N.
“Do not test me.” Loki counters, covering Y/N with more of himself.
“I do understand that you are feeling overly protective. The coven has been invited by Nia who holds an extension of my own will, we do not have to agree with them but they may know what is happening.” Thor attempts once again.
“I will only when she wakes.” The red dissolves back to bring forth the green. Thor’s heterochromia gaze moves between the two mates.
“We need to act fast Loki you have done enough of your whims.” Thor knows he’s taunting and provoking his brother.
“My whims? Let me remind you you’re the one who proposed killing off our dear father first. You’re the one who got your mate. You are the one who agreed with Zemo’s plan. Y/N is a witch, we knew but her belonging to the celestial coven complicates things.”
“YetI had to put forth the plan of having the bond weakened by another coven’s magick. No matter how horrible it was for the both of us. So that she would stay protected lest Alexander found her because you are incapable of taking care of anyone but your mate. Because Thor, you thought it was best to keep her as a pawn in this little chess game you have been playing.” Loki seethes.
“I was not alone in agreement of the plan.” Thor yells back his blue and brown irises surrounded by red rims as his fangs descend.
“But you initiated it, signed off upon it.” Loki spits out.
“You did what to our bond?” Y/N’s hauntingly cold voice breaks the angered stupor that grips at Loki.
“Y/N…” He pinches the bridge of his nose, “This it’s—, it is very much a complicated set of occurrences.”
“I believe she has a right to know.” Thor interjects.
“You, you, is this, some kind of grand game?” Y/N sits up moving away from her mate.
“Alexander is a dangerous man further, a dangerous vampire.” Loki begins to make her understand.
“Was there another way without you leaving?” There is a sway in her movements as she creates distance between herself and the vampire brothers.
Loki looks towards Thor, the elder brother sighs and then nods.
“You didn’t leave Nia.” Y/N accuses, bearing no ill towards her best friend.
“Our bond was fully established.” Thor says simply.
“So what, your brother is skeptical about soulmates and you just thought to run with it by putting the two involved souls through hell? I felt like dying each moment he was apart from me. I confided in you each moment and you knew.” Y/N’s voice interlaced with betrayal.
“Y/N, look in the grander scheme of things, this,” Thor ponders for the right words.
“You were too selfish to give up your own bond.” Y/N suggests, a venomous undertone to them.
“Yes and no.” Thor answers then looks toward Loki.
“Zemo, the vampire who attacked you the night of the party…” Loki prompts his mate.
“The party you erased, there was another vampire as well.” Y/N completes with a distaste in her mouth.
“We spoke in detail about a plan that exists to take down Alexander Pierce. It had several road blocks, he has an ability to know what could be the potential gifts a human can bring across their vampire change. Certain witches were spared for their talent, others because they were mates of the vampires in the coven.”
“However one witch coven is hated by Alexander because they have survived erasure time and time again. Yours.” Loki takes an unnecessary breath.
Nia opens the door, her eyes first on Thor who gives her a look of reassurance.
“If our bond was complete I would have to turn you.” Loki informs her realising she may have not heard everything he said during her astral form minutes.
“How has Nia not been turned?” Y/N looks at the two mates.
“Blood exchanges need to happen everyday from a full moon to a new moon. Basically second half of the lunar cycle.” Nia explains, “I’ve been having his blood for the first half.”
“Did you know about this?” Y/N looks at her best friend.
“He told me in the car, what the plan was, why Loki did what he did. Why he left you.” Nia looks sombre.
“It seems Thor has left out some details.” Loki mutters quietly.
“So you agree with me being used as a pawn?” Y/N bellows at her best friend from her place.
“Damn thats some fucked up shit.” Sierra comments from the first floor the conversation clear as day to be heard. Doctor Strange looks at her.
“What, you need to be honest.” She shrugs.
“I believe that lesson needs to be learned by your own coven as well.” Doctor Strange sneers.
“I do not agree to that, but it keeps you safe from a conversion and it aids in the process.” Nia hesitates, “The last witch to be granted immortality from your coven was Luna, because of her gift of prophecy.”
“Nia.” Y/N tries to understand.
“If you aren’t deemed worthy, bonded or not, he would end you.” Loki tells her point blank.
“Why could you not have been honest?” Her eyes brim with tears, why was he always so closed off? Why could he never just share his burdens with her?
“You’re supposed to be my mate. I, we could have navigated this better.” Y/N accuses him.
Loki closes his eyes at the heartache that laces her words, “I know. I did not want to burden you.”
“While you held my burdens?” She sniffles, the ache for more substances scratches at her chest.
Loki stays quiet.
“I, I need to go home— I—, this is, all, is too much.” Y/N turns to move past Nia as she descends the stairs.
“We pushed for your bond to weaken to awaken your witch side.” Miles tells her as she comes into view.
“The bond suppressed it, if it would have been established chances are we would not have had to put you under that much duress.” He continues much to her dismay.
Y/N turns her teary eyed face to them.
“Am I just some kind of fucking pawn? Vampire ruins the bond to protect, my coven uses to have strength, random vampire makes me his drugged up blood bag?” Her voice is hoarse, “Can’t any of you be honest? Upfront? I would understand better help better, but no you,” She turns to Clark, “You’d rather my bond shatter.”
She faces Loki and Thor who stand upon the steps, “You two would rather play with the bond, toy with my heart. Pretend to be my confidant and then just break my trust over and over.”
She turns to Stephen, he raises an eyebrow.
“I just gave you homework.” He raises both hands in defence.
“He’s at least honest.” Y/N gestures to Stephen.
The baby witch makes her way to the door but it does not budge.
“You’ve been exposed to drugs.” Miles does not lower his raised arm.
“And?” Y/N crosses her arms.
“Those weaken your witch sense as well.” Clark concluded.
“Thor was right.” Nia exclaims, “We were right.” Thor intertwines their hands.
Loki’s eyes widen, he appears in a blur near Y/N.
“The vampire left a note again.” Loki presents the note out of his pocket.
“Is that…” Sierra looks at Y/N.
“It is in my blood.” She affirms to the more practiced witch.
A possessiveness pulses across the bond, as everyone reads the contents of the note.
The young witch goes over her scarce memories of her highs, most would be muddled and one she left untouched— the forest.
She never noticed any puncture wounds before and they only started upon Loki’s return.
These notes the message left on the wall and the note both had an undertone of a deeper rivalry or mocking of Loki and his inability to keep her safe. Or rather mocking his way of keeping her safe.
What if this rogue vampire wasn’t a rogue at all?
Y/N’s eyes widen, they search for Loki’s comforting green.
“I, I have a theory.” She states and the collective group looks at her curiously. Hunger sears her stomach.
“I need something to eat though.” A light dust of red coats her cheeks.
Loki returns with a paper-bag housing her favourite order from the local diner. The human and vampire pair enjoy the brief appearance of the stars across their bond.
Thor and Nia settle on the loveseat the latter upon Thor’s lap more than the seat.
Miles, Clark and Sierra sit on the couch and Stephen sits on the lone leather chair.
Loki and Y/N sit in their designated spot on the L portion of the worn down couch side by side.
“How long have you been practicing?” Stephen questions the coven, in a bid to offer some time to Y/N to eat.
There is a tremor in her hands and Loki takes over holding the takeout box.
“We do not divulge coven dynamics.” Miles smoothly replies before his husband is irked.
“Alright, when was the awakening?” Strange counters.
“Mine began at fourteen,” Sierra smiles, Clark groans, Miles places a comforting hand on his thigh.
“Always was into the whole mystic aspects of things, also I knew something was up when I started being able to see the spirits my dogs would bark at back home.” She completes.
“Ooh which kind of puppers did you have?” Nia grins, always ready to speak about the sweet little creatures.
“One was a mutt adopted him off of the mall parking lot named him Mustard, there is a whole story he would not leave without this unopened bottle of mustard; and the other was a doberman— Boba both passed away a few years ago, sadly.” Sierra presses her lips into a thin line but then smiles fondly at the memories of the sweet creatures who stood by her family and her.
“I’m sorry.” Nia frowns, Thor rubs a comforting hand over her back.
“No, no, talking about them makes me happy.” Sierra smiles at the pair, “When did you two bond?”
“We met at the local gym, I was doing cardio and Thor is a personal trainer there.” Nia grins looking up at her mate.
“And this one here lost her footing, and I helped her up.” Thor brushes his nose against Nia’s own.
Both have love struck smiles on their faces.
“When is the change due?” Sierra concentrates and can see tiny golden suns orbiting around them, “Oh you have tiny suns!”
“You can see them?” All the vampires look bewildered.
“We can even see bond lines, Sierra here has a particular interest in bonds, vampiric or non vampiric.” Miles gives her a proud look.
“I do, I used to well still do online tarot readings for the collective from time to time. Most part I’m a paediatric nurse.” Sierra proudly beams.
“That is amazing.” Y/N praises, her food portion half eaten, slowly the air turns serious as they wait for her to find the words to put forth the theory.
Y/N stares at the pattern on the coffee table, she would laugh if she could since this was the third replacement that was brought in by Thor and Nia.
“I believe that these two incidents of me being forced to consume narcotics aren’t isolated. Maybe the fact that I do not remember a lot of the highs isn’t to do with well, just the drugs.” She takes a deep breath and Loki takes her freehand into his own, steadying the newfound tremor.
“I, I think this vampire whoever they are, might be working for Alexander Pierce. Or they know I’m a witch or they know I’m Loki’s mate and they have a plot of revenge. Or they just want tainted blood.” Y/N completes.
Loki’s own mind races to think of people whom he has wronged but the list of the ones left alive in Alexander’s name is short.
Thor purses his lips, “It is a plausible theory.” He agrees.
“However deranged rouges, they do prey upon half abandoned mates. This could even be a one off taunt.” Stephen adds.
“The marks are staying visible for me to see, so the vampire is keeping tabs on my whereabouts.” Loki gazes apologetically at his mate.
“It is a messed up situation.” Y/N attempts at comfort rubbing circles over his palm with her thumb.
“Which concludes he is not working alone.” Stephen adds.
“They also have a witch or warlock.” Clark speaks for once contributing to the discussion, “The Vampire Weave is not an easy feat to achieve.”
“This is a seasoned witch or warlock.” Miles agrees.
“But who would help a vampire?” Clark makes his patented dissatisfied expression.
“Compliance.” Nia sits up straighter adding onto the fact, “Y/N knew Loki altered her memory, he’s keeping a warlock or witch between them. So she can’t remember. Cause the witchy side would block the vampire compliance.” She adds.
“This adds proof this is not some baby witch or warlock.” Sierra ponders,
“If we teach you before the next attack, the witch or warlock will have to come into physical contact with you for the spell to work, you could counter it and break the hold the vampire has on them.”
“She is not going to be left alone to be subjected to non-consensual narcotics usage.” Loki’s free hand balls into a fist adding to his adamance.
“You still need to be trained. In the event he is locked into a weave.” Miles adds for Loki to see the logic.
“You know the laws of our kind Loki, you cannot hold back a witch or warlock from training in their craft. It must be their decision.” Clark reminds Loki of an old rule.
Y/N watches the High Priest and her mate have a stare down competition.
“I want to train. I need to be able to protect the ones I care about and myself.” Y/N speaks voicing her thoughts.
Loki presses his lips into a thin line, displeased.
“Fine then.” Clark stands, “Bring your grandmother’s grimoire tomorrow, also search for Samana’s grimoire and we need to begin your own first. Bring in a notebook then Sierra will teach you how to make your grimoire. I presume your mate will stand guard?”
“You presume correct.” Loki sneers.
“You must stay outside the perimeter.” Clark warns.
“Your coven isn’t strong enough.” Loki taunts then falls to his knees as do Thor and Stephen. Their faces blank, forms unmoving.
“What are you doing to them? Stop it!” Nia screams in panic, trying to shake Thor out of the forced upon trance.
Y/N grabs onto Loki’s hunched over form. Then gazes worriedly at Stephen.
“This is just my skill level, I have Miles and Sierra.” Clark smiles, “You can hear everything, the panicked voice of your mate and friends, the dread, while all other senses remain deprived.”
“Clark.” Y/N turns to him, “Please, enough.” She pleads.
The High Priest lowers his raised palm.
Loki glares up at him, the stars move through Y/N’s side of the bond to his, Loki places his hand upon hers which rests on his chest.
“That was something.” Stephen stands cleaning his clothing of any stray lint.
“Indeed.” Thor breathes in deeply, pulling Nia close to quell her worries placing a soft kiss against her lips.
Miles and Sierra stand, both move to hug Y/N goodbye.
Sierra requests Y/N to meet her in the event she does resume duty at the hospital, provided Stephen clears her for the same due to the narcotics in her system.
The coven clears out. Clark gives them a final glance before turning away.
“I must commend Thor, blood sharing having to just have synchronous with the lunar cycle.” Stephen observes, though his tone feels akin to a jab at Thor.
“Stephen.” Loki says in warning.
“Its true though, why did you have to sacrifice your bond into smithereens? Just because you were skeptical?” Stephen raises his hands as if in question.
In a blur Thor has Stephen against the wall.
“I did not make him do it. It was the best option given the circumstances.” Thor spits out at Stephen.
“It was the way most convenient to you. Where did that leave Y/N? In Narcotics Anonymous.” Stephen yells back.
“When her mate had no issues I think you should stay in your place.” Thor seethes.
“Loki will you open your mouth or should I continue?” Stephen’s ablaze red rimmed blue eyes turn to Loki, Y/N looks up at her mate questioningly.
“You did not even care for her. You both did not,” Loki speaks after a breath of silence.
“We cleaned up after each mess of hers, if she weaselled her way out each time that is not upon us. Because you were gone.” Thor glares as he turns toward his younger brother.
Loki takes a step back as though wounded, “You forced me to leave.”
“Cleaned up after me?” Y/N knows her face betrays her hurt, she tries masking it, Thor had been an elder brother of comfort through the mess as he put it, he turns to look at Nia.
“It was hard upon us as well to watch you in that manner.” Is all Nia says, fiddling with her ring clad fingers.
“Caregivers often bear the brunt, however she was under compulsion. You could have protected her better.” Stephen interjects.
“As could you.” Thor speaks with retaliation.
“And I did on each placement of her under my care, I did.” Stephen presses the back of his right hand into his left palm the sound of skin against skin adding emphasis.
“Can we actually believe that theory or is that just an excuse?” Nia meant to mumble it under her breath, the chill that took over the room sent a shiver up Y/N’s spine.
Loki looked at his mate’s best-friend.
“It is true, Thor could have protected her better, yes maybe we took the easy way out as vampires, I was skeptical about the bond but I was skeptical about the plan as well. Have it in your heart and mind to speak the truth or should I extract it myself? Did you give even fifty percent of effort of protection to my mate?” The younger brother looks at his elder brother.
Thor looks to Nia, then at his brother, then at Y/N.
“You could have told him to return if you couldn’t handle the responsibility.” Y/N murmurs, there still was so much to unpack from the conversation and if anything that was given to her only brought forth a craving to just consume more for the numbness.
“He did not want me to return.” Loki says as though something dawned upon him, “Is that why you never alerted me about the OD, about the forest attack?” His voice raised, in demand, venom pricks at the corners of his eyes.
Thor stays silent. Y/N gazes at Nia questioningly.
“You told me he did not care enough to return.” Nia accuses Thor.
“He was supposed to stay away for another month. In the end you craved your mate did you not? After all those talks about disregarding your chance at love and eternal affection.” Thor sneers.
“You’re behaving just like Odin. I say one thing and you hold that against me, expecting me not to learn or be educated and change my opinion or stance.” Loki looks down at the hand that Y/N wraps around his arm to provide comfort. The stars pass between them.
“I am nothing like Odin.” Thor presses, red rims appearing to further his anger.
“I think it is best we dismiss this conversation.” Stephen interjects, knowing the topic of their human father was one that still brought about bitter memories.
“Oh thats rich first gaslight then dissipate.” Nia narrows her eyes at the doctor.
“At least I don’t disregard my best friend’s trouble with being forced to consume drugs!” Stephen wants to leave the air here getting too much to warrant peaceful responses anymore.
Y/N tilts her head, seeing an iridescent tinge of orange in the air surrounding them. It stays present for a flash then disappears appearing near Thor.
“He has nothing better to do, he was tossed away. Left for dead by townspeople. Only supports the vampire who took him in from the streets.” Thor seethes as he adds agreement with Nia.
The orange gleam shifts edging towards Loki and herself, she pushes Loki’s chest and they duck.
“The fuck are you doing?” Nia raises an eyebrow, “Is this some new response to some drug? Or is it a witch thing?”
“Can someone contact Sierra?” Y/N questions, her eyes focus upon the dancing gleam, her wonders if it can be slowed down to a stop.
She keeps her vision steady, imagining a thick sludge surrounding the gleam to slow it down before it reaches Stephen.
The doctor dials the number of the nurse, she answers after a few rings.
“Whats wrong?” The curly haired witch questions over the call.
“Y/N is staring at thin air…” Stephen tries to explain.
“Put her on speaker.”
Stephen appears next to her, holding the phone as it remains on speaker.
“What are you seeing?” Is her immediate question, “describe it don’t lose focus.”
“Iridescent but orange, bouncing around.” The baby witch explains.
“Are you all having an argument or heated discussion suddenly?” The vampires and Nia look at each other in surprise.
“Yes.” Y/N answers for them.
“Well that is another little gift Clark left, you all need to leave the room, that is a self sabotage spell, since its iridescent the effect will wear off if the room clears. Listen Y/N I know how difficult this all is but you will have to prove yourself to Clark. What you did today with the astral meeting that showcases your skill but refining your craft will only be the way to stay in control.” Sierra offers advice hoping it encourages the new witch.
“I understand, I am ready to put in my share of hard work. Also, um. Is it possible to slow it down? The orange thingy?” Her eyes remain on the said object.
“While it is possible to stop it from going further I’d suggest not wasting energy, get it out of the way but everyone leave the room for the next one to two hours just to be safe.” Sierra suggests, receiving a collective reply of affirmative responses the call is brought to a close.
Thor and Nia move to leave to the upstairs rooms.
Stephen waits near his car outside.
Loki wraps his arm around Y/N’s waist, she doesn’t break focus on the orb, as her mate uses his speed to move them backward and out of the house.
“I will see you tomorrow, OPD paperwork only.” Stephen ruefully tells her, she sighs then accepts.
“I know you were benched long enough but this…” Stephen lets the sentence hang in the air between the three of them. He bids the two goodbye, getting into the driver’s seat.
Loki presses his lips to her temple, “Home?”
Y/N nods, intertwining their hands as her leads her, to the familiar Mercedes.
The vampire opens the door for his mate then speeds into the driver’s seat.
“We have much to talk about.” Loki addresses the unspoken thought as the car is turned into ignition.
“We do, but at home… right now I just want to be with you.” Y/N requests and Loki meets her eyes, they still remain bloodshot but in lesser intensity.
“As you please.” Loki reaches for her hand out of habit, across the console, resting over her thigh, their fingers intertwined
——/- div
Fourteen Months Ago.
“Where are you taking me?” Y/N has a smile on her face as she adjusts the phone to reach up to the top shelf for the Nutella jar.
“Somewhere.” Loki smiles sitting outside the dean’s office for the upcoming literature symposium the university would be hosting.
Y/N huffs, partly at the jar and partly at Loki.
“I thought you would be happy.” Loki teases.
“I am, but I can’t seem to grab this jar.” Y/N stares at the Nutella, wishing it would levitate.
“Nutella?” He enquires, a fondness grows within his chest. Y/N smiles at the sudden warmth. She hums in agreement, wishing he was there to reach up for it.
“Kinda wish you were here with me.” She sighs, it had been two weeks since their moment in the bookstore’s cafe.
“Why?” Loki knows she probably wants him to reach up for the jar.
“So you could get me this jar.” Y/N still gazes longingly before moving to the next aisle.
“Darling, here I thought you were dating me for me.” His voice is light and full of mirth.
“Nope, I just need your very tall limbs to get me things from the top shelves.” Y/N goes along with the humour.
“I’m wounded.” Loki feigns sadness but can’t help the laughter that rumbles in his chest.
Y/N giggles, switching the side of the phone.
“Do you need anything?” She asks mindlessly pushing the cart.
“Just you.” Loki breathes, allowing himself to relish and enjoy the fact that he has a mate, consciously throwing the meddling thoughts away instead of harbouring them.
“Professor I believe I’m quite the priciest item here.” Y/N brings in the playfulness again, his words stirring something deep within her at being wanted.
“I’m sure I could come up with a sum worthy of you alas, these numbers cease at the feat of your beauty and intellect.” He admits, and she feels a cacophony of stars trickle towards her, the sudden sound of metal clanging worries him.
“I’m okay just crashed into the yogurt fridge.” She grumbles lightly before righting the fallen items.
Loki bites back his smile picturing her reddened cheeks and expression. He adjusts the papers he holds with the files, fidgeting every few minutes to keep up his human façade.
As Y/N arranges the items a softer happiness makes itself present within her at the openness he displayed the past week.
It was not a vast ocean of being open with her but he tried. For her sake. That was enough for her to know he could and would try for her.
“Hey, I’m back, reporting live from the averted accident in aisle 20, yogurt and soy milk.” Y/N laughs, Loki chuckles.
“Any casualties?” The professor looks up at the dean’s assistant who gestures for him to head inside.
“Well does my bruised ego count? Or the indented pack of pudding cups Thor seems to love.” Y/N reports back, reading the labels of the hot sauces for Nia’s preference.
“Well for the bruising I’d recommend waiting till I pick you up. I believe my lips will know what to do.” Loki gathers his laptop bag, the bond willing him not to say goodbye as it glows happily between them.
“Youstill won’t tell me? Also no kisses for Lokis who withhold information.” Y/N will stomp her foot as does a tantrum throwing child, she will.
“Would it be a surprise if I did?” Loki chides.
“At least tell me the dress code.” Y/N pleads.
“I believe comfortable should do.” Loki whiles away the time, the dean could wait.
“What are you wearing?” She enquires that would give her a better hint.
“An oxford button down and slacks.” He answers recalling the light blue shirt he picked out for their date that hangs in his office.
“So it is okay if I don’t wear a dress right?” Y/N hesitates, dresses though nice weren’t always her first choice of clothing.
“Darling, I believe what you wore when you accompanied your friend to meet my brother should work.” Loki admits,
“Oh the cream sweater?” She recalls, Loki hums in agreement, the assistant returns once more hands on his hips giving Loki a pointed and impatient look.
“Yes, also I have my appointment with the Dean, I’m sorry to cut the conversation short. I will speak with you soon.” Loki apologises.
“Oh no its, alrig—,” The line cuts and Y/N sighs, “its alright.” She repeats more for herself.
She does a once over for all the items in the cart, matching them with her list proceeding to the check out.
“So how is Romania treating the great history buff?” The woman in front of Y/N speaks a little loudly.
“Really? Wow, didn’t think anything surprised the intuitive Mr. Bucky Barnes.” The woman laughs in response and Y/N feels the air leave her lungs.
How many Bucky Barnes-es could exist in this universe?
The checkout aisle next to her opens up Y/N recedes to that one. Trying not to focus on the conversation.
But the short-haired woman’s laughter keeps following through and the number of jokes just keep flowing.
Y/N grits her teeth, so Bucky blocked her out. Did not bother contacting her but kept in touch with someone else. So maybe she wasn’t the only one who didn’t have feelings.
“Cash or Credit?” The cashier enquires palm raised to take whichever mode of payment chosen.
Y/N hands her the credit card, loading up the groceries as the transaction is completed.
“Oh Bucky, come on, just do it. What is holding you back?” The woman encourages, she’s on the same stage of shopping as herself.
Y/N grabs the card swiftly not wanting to hear more about Bucky. He could do whatever he wanted. Talk to anyone. Why does she care?
As she’s loading the groceries in her car, the same short-haired woman approaches her, “Hey are you, Y/N?”
“Um, yes…” Y/N trails off hesitantly.
“Oh great I caught you, here you left this on the counter the cashier recalled your name from the system. I’m Maria Hill.” Maria smiles as she hands the hastily forgotten bag to Y/N.
“Oh um, thank you.” She says, placing it with the others.
“Um, I don’t mean to pry…” Y/N regrets the words as she says them, “Were you speaking to James Barnes?” She fiddles with the zipper on her jacket.
Yep Y/N thinks, Maria must be creeped out.
“Oh um yeah, he is a PhD candidate as I am, left for some personal work so I like to keep him updated so he can keep up and not turn into a slow poke.” Maria grins, “Though I’m going to beat him to it but it’s no fun without healthy competition, do you know him?” The brunette waits for a response.
“He was in creative writing with me, he left quite suddenly, just haven’t had the chance to talk. Maybe he switched numbers, but I’m happy to know he’s okay.” Y/N offers a smile,
“I have to rush, it was nice meeting you Maria.” Y/N gives her a wave before quickly sitting in her vehicle and leaving Maria eyes wide as she connects the dots.
She brings back attention to her ongoing call with Bucky, he had heard everything due to the headphones Maria wore.
“You did not give her your number?!” Maria yells at him.
“It, it was better that way.” Bucky winces as he explains.
“Come on dude so what if the date thing didn’t work, at least you will have a friend, she will have a friend!” She groans.
“Maria can we discuss something or someone else?” Bucky pleads stirring the conversation away from Y/N.
— — — —
Loki smoothens his coat’s lapels, as he stood waiting outside Y/N’s home. His occupied hand holds a bouquet of daffodils. He smiles at the flowers, knowing they would be appreciated.
Y/N opens the door, with one hand trying to fix her earring with the other smiling brightly at Loki.
“Hello.”
“Hi.”
They both smile sheepish and then laugh.
“You can come inside, I just need to fix this—,” Y/N huffs again as the earring still does not stay in place.
“May I help?” Loki offers, she looks at him then nods.
Her eyes fall onto the flowers,
“These are for you, darling.” Loki hands her the bouquet, promptly taking the earring from her.
“Thank you.” Y/N smiles at the flowers.
“I know I don’t know your favourite flower yet. But I believe these,” Loki pauses, as Y/N sniffles.
“I, Did I do something to upset you?” Loki worriedly gazes at her.
“I just remembered what you said, about these, what the daffodils signify. Now, we’re about to go on our first date… Just you putting in the thought. I know its stupid to get emotional over this—,”
“Hey, no, no, you are not stupid for getting emotional, I myself teared up when I saw the florist put them together.” Loki knows how the venom feels when it pools over his eyes.
“Thank you.” Y/N hugs him, Loki rests his cheek upon her head, arms wrapping around her frame. The warmth of her skin seeping through his clothing onto his own.
“You’re welcome.” Loki softly inhales her scent, letting it wash over him. Her blood did have an allure to him, but only because mates were to share blood in order to prepare for the inevitable conversion.
The way her scent called to him right now, he was glad he had fed from blood-bags before arriving.
Loki relaxes his hold when Y/N initiates pulling away from the hug. Still holding the flowers tenderly in her arms and smiling at them. Loki adores her, tucking this moment away for himself.
“May I?” Loki requests, holding the earring up; she shifts so he can place the earring.
Goosebumps break out across her skin as his knuckles ghost over her as he places the earring, his breath softly fans across her cheek.
Loki places the earring his knuckles trace along her jaw, resting under her chin.
Y/N tilts her head back at Loki’s prompting meeting his gaze. She feels the stars bloom around them, twinkling brightly.
“May I?” Loki questions once again, his lips inching closer to her own.
“Yes.” Y/N breathes out, softly.
His lips find her warm ones, they mould together. Eyes closed, the stars cascade merrily.
Loki pulls her closer, Y/N places her hands upon his shoulders as the kiss deepens.
Y/N’s right hand inches upward along the side of his neck towards his hair. Loki hums in the kiss, his hand moving along her spine pressing her closer. Their chests touch, Loki knows he’s pushing his luck, there is only so much control he can keep when they are like this, she tugs on his hair while she lightly nips at his bottom lip.
Loki knows his primal instincts are taking over, he pushes her against the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist and supporting all of her weight.
His tongue moves across her kiss bitten bottom lip as she parts her lips for him, her scent fills his senses. Heady, addicting and absolutely ethereal.
Loki knows his eyes are red rimmed, the bond glows brightly. Y/N’s fingers tangle in his hair and legs tighten around his hips.
His hands roam over her sides, his fangs begin to descend as she tugs on his hair wanton sounds of need spilling from her lips unto his.
Their lips part and Loki lays kisses over her exposed neck, he holds her up with one hand and something about his strength sets a heat ablaze within Y/N.
Loki, pulls down the sweater, small nips and kisses over her collar bones, he keeps his eyes closed.
“Loki, Loki, Loki.” His name spills from her as a fervent prayer.
The bond speaking through her begging Loki to establish it completely.
When he reaches her sternum, Loki freezes.
Y/N opens her eyes, heat blooming all over skin, the stars surrounding their bodies.
“Loki?” She cups his cheek, worry takes over her.
“I’m okay.” He takes an inhale, eyes closed, he places his forehead against hers.
“Why did you stop?” Her hand nervously fiddles with the collar of his oxford shirt.
“I, I want to do right by you. This, I enjoyed, there is not doubt in that, if I could, I’d have my lips on your skin till the world ended, but I don’t want you to think that I only want your body.” He opens his eyes, sincere green greets Y/N.
“I’d—, Loki, you never gave me that impression.” Y/N assures, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “I though, maybe I did something wrong or something you did not enjoy.” She admits, a blush taking over her face.
Loki’s eyes widen, “Love, you did nothing wrong I quite enjoyed those sinfully addictive sounds you made for me. Also, if you do not enjoy something I am doing you need to tell me, we have to communicate our likes and dislikes always; just not at one point. This doesn’t just stop at the physical aspects of our courtship.” He places another kiss against her lips.
Y/N smiles, “Sometimes you sound as though from another era.”
A momentary panic surges through the vampire.
“I guess that would be because of all the Shakespeare and poetry you’ve read and immersed into.” She adds with a small laugh, her fingers run through his hair trying to tame the tresses she caused to mess up.
“Are you making fun of me, Ms. Y/L/N?” Loki playfully narrows his eyes, his tone stern.
“Why no, Sir, I would never dare.” Y/N feigns innocence, “Just maybe a little.” Her giggle is caught in her throat as Loki’s fingers begin to tickle her sides and she breaks into laughter.
“Loki!”
“Y/N!”
Their laughters intertwine, echoing in the room.
Once they make themselves presentable again for the outside world, Loki and Y/N are divided by the S-Class’ console. Elbows nearly touching.
An excitement cascades from Y/N to Loki through the now stronger bond.
Loki smiles, “I hope you enjoy what I have planned.”
“If you tell me, I promise to be more excited than I already am, pinky promise.” Y/N bargains.
Loki taps his index finger over his lips, as though in deep thought.
He looks at her while switching the lanes, “Nope.”
Her annoyance amuses him, he laughs much to her chagrin. Y/N rolls her eyes looking out the window, annoyed.
“Darling,” Loki says, she doesn’t look at him.
“Love.” He attempts again, with failure.
He huffs, reaching over and grabbing her hand, intertwining their fingers over the console. Y/N pulls his hand back towards her, the back of his hand rests on her thigh.
“Is that a smile I see?” He teases.
“Give me a hint, I’ll give you a kiss.” Y/N pouts.
“Oh come on now that is extortion.” Loki accuses. Y/N just shrugs.
“We’re almost there.” Loki points out.
“We drove an hour into London.”
“Are you trying to deduce where we are going?” Loki smiles at her focused expression, the furrow in her brow reminds him of her in class.
“Wait, did—, what if we’re seen?” She panics, Loki meets her with a calming gaze.
“It is a weekday, the place will probably only have tourists. Although I’ve booked a private thirty minutes.” He assures, smiling only when she calms down.
Loki pulls into the parking building near Tate Modern, London. Y/N curiously follows Loki’s lead as he navigates through the floors to get to their destination.
He doesn’t let her even see what installations are being presented, showing the tickets discreetly to the security as they wait in a corridor. A gentle older woman comes out a corner door greeting Loki.
“You can go in, it’s just been cleared.” She informs him, greeting Y/N with a smile as well.
“Thank you.” Loki offers the woman a smile.
“Oh one more thing.” Loki turns to Y/N, “I want you to keep your eyes closed till we are inside.”
“Loki… Fine.” Y/N only agrees when he pouts and it is too adorable to say no to him.
The vampire beams brightly, covering her eyes with a blindfold. Y/N holds onto his hands and hears the quiet hinges of the door opening and Loki leads her for about fifteen steps.
His footsteps echo in the quiet room, as he stands behind her. She takes a deep breath as he undoes the blindfold. Taking a few steps back to admire her reaction.
Y/N opens her eyes, blinking a few times, her jaw then drops. She is surrounded by an infinity of small lights that are mirrored all around herself and Loki.
Tiny blue, yellowish and green lights seemingly akin to stars, she turns attempting to find Loki to hold him close to take in this moment with him.
Loki smiles at her elation that he sees and feels within himself.
Y/N moves to him, closing the gap he put between them.
“Loki this, it is, beautiful, ethereal even, as, as though we’re surrounded by our stars.” Her throat feels heavy, emotion overcoming her.
“Well we once admitted we feel stars for each other. Now we can finally see them. Surrounding us.” He tucks her hair back, they both grin at each other.
“Loki, this, I don’t have words, thank you.” Y/N admits, tears pooling in her eyes.
Loki softly brushes the tears, “I’ve made you emotional again. I know these are tears of happiness. I want to admit something, if I could, I’d bring down all of the stars that surround the moon and bring them to you. For you are my moonlight. The stars would be merely a fraction of what I’d do for you, now that I’ve found you.”
Y/N’s breath is caught at his admission, her heart soars. She reaches upward, placing a soft kiss against his lips. Loki returns the affection, with as much of emotion he can pour into the gesture.
When they pull away, slightly breathless.
“I’d do the same if not more for you.” Y/N admits to him, in a soft whisper, a promise just between them.
“I’d do the same if not more for you.” Loki repeats, sealing the promise between them with Yayoi Kusama’s infinity mirror room lights as their witness.
—————div
Present.
—————
Saturday.
—————
Y/N groans, feeling the after effects of the grilling at Miles is putting her through.
“Come on, up you go.” He prompts again.
She sits crossed leg again from the sprawled out defeat on the soft carpet in their living room.
“Now come on, protective enchantments on the ink bottle again. Block my hex without actively holding the enchantment.” Miles instructs again.
Y/N raises her hand, drawing the symbols for protection, adding intent and visualisation. Then she looks up at Miles, nodding for him to hex the bottle.
Miles raises a finger of his left hand drawing the hex over the bottle. For ten seconds nothing happens. Then Miles is launched two feet away from the bottle.
He grins at her, “Well done, now we’ll move onto plants, don’t worry I can reverse the hexes so the plants won’t be harmed. But you have to protect them well enough.”
Y/N nods, she begins to place the enchantments upon the small succulent cactus.
Miles prepares the hex and the spikes fly out towards Y/N, her eyes widen and she holds up her hands, the spikes stop mere centimetres away from her face. Dropping down onto the floor.
“Did you alter the wording for living things?” Miles enquires, Y/N groans.
“Fuck, I’m so stupid.” She facepalms.
“Hey no bad words said to yourself. You’re trying hard.” Miles pats her back.
“If she was trying hard, silly mistakes would not happen.” Clark adds dryly, upon entering the room.
Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, Clark reminded her of her father, never pleased. At least he was not a verbally abusive like her dad, just showed his disdain for her inability to perform well.
Basically Clark and Miles were good cop, bad cop.
Clark waves a hand and the spikes split into two groups heading for Miles and herself. Y/N stops them this time farther away from their bodies.
“Add the protection.” Miles prompts.
“The spikes…” Y/N reasons.
“Add it.” Clark says as he begins with the hex, Y/N scrambles with one hand to maintain the shield then adds the enchantment with the living thing wording, the spikes turn towards Clark with full throttle.
He turns them into petals of flowers falling to the ground.
Clark only hums, that means he is mildly pleased by her work.
“You kept the spikes connected as well.” Miles praises, “good work.”
Y/N only smiles, the clock hits seven-thirty and now it was time for Clark and his mind bending tricks.
It was only day five of training but it felt as if eternity had passed between the days.
Clark settles on the chair near the fireplace, Y/N joins him on the free chair, “Now, you have to block out the compliance. We can try that with the guard dog vampire outside.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, but nods out of respect.
“For the vampire kind of compliance once you harness the warlock and witch kind. We’re trying to make it so that you have to be touched to be compelled. Once that occurs we need you to break the compliance upon the warlock or witch.” Clark continues, cracking his knuckles to prepare.
“Okay.” Y/N nods, focusing herself.
Clark focuses upon her, bringing forth his visualisation of her own protective enchantments brought forth by her own witch status.
“Tap your right foot.” Clark attempts, as her ankle twitches to move.
Y/N focuses her mental shields. Her ankle stops twitching.
“Snap your fingers in the rhythm of ‘we will rock you.’” Clark compels once again, focusing upon the one weak area through her shield. Y/N resists, visualising his compulsion trying to break through her guard.
Clark huffs, he has to go with something that will pick at her emotions. It was cruel and Miles would tell him off but it needs to be done.
“Tell me about what Loki said to break your heart.” Clark demands, Y/N’s eyes widen her focus wavers.
“He said I am a distraction, he only wanted to know if the bond held any weight in his eyes that—,” Y/N pauses, bringing her mental shields back up to focus. Gritting her teeth.
“Tell me about the heartbreak a parent caused you. Your father specifically.” Clark feels remorseful but this needs to be done.
“You will need to be specific.” Y/N jokes, trying to not let her father ruin yet another thing for her.
“A moment he abandoned you when he should not have,” Clark drills through, the minute Y/N lets that moment flash by her mind.
“I was eleven, we were on our first international trip,” Y/N feels the tears brimming, she tries not to let the story spill but fails, “We were trying to find the tour buffet room, for dinner. The place was new and women over there not that safe but okayish, he got angry that he couldn’t find my mother or the remainder of the family, so we returned to the room. He knocked hard and fast on the door.”
Internally she tries to stop, begs herself to learn quickly.
“When they did not open the door, because they were gone, he left my hand pushed it away with force, it hit the wall behind me. He then says they left us, so I’m leaving you, let them find you alone. Don’t bother searching for me. I stood there for thirty minutes, men, women passed by staring. I pretended to knock each time someone passed by, so they’d know I had family inside. When my mom and remaining family came back cause we never reached they found me sitting in front of the door crying. All alone.” Y/N felt the wetness of the tears, on her cheeks and on her shirt.
“They took me in, I didn’t eat that night, just cried and then fell asleep. He came home late night, when I woke up I saw that I was facing him from my bed, I turned around and slept again. He pretended he never did anything. He never apologised or tried to make it better, he kept abandoning me, he left all the time for others, he never wanted to be there for me unless it was convenient to his motives to have me there to seem like a doting father—,”
“Clark.” Miles’ voice cuts through, Clark pulls away the compulsion.
Y/N glances at the clock, blinking away her tears, the clock said eight. She picks up her bag, checking for her notebook and grimoire.
“Y/N,” Miles begins, Y/N wipes her tears quickly.
“I’ll see you tomorrow earlier its Sunday. I’ve finished my coursework. Thanks for today.” She rushes out before the fresh wave of tears start, she crosses the perimeter where Loki stands against his car, he quickly walks over to her, wrapping her up in his arms as she falls apart in front of him.
He softly runs his hand over her hair trying to provide comfort. She clings harder and her shoulders shake harder as the sobs turn more deep rooted.
Loki presses a soft kiss to her temple. His hard gaze moves towards the house as Clark and Miles gaze at them, only one holds worry the other’s cheek grits. Their lips moving in conversation
“Miles what kind of second rate man is her father?”
“I told you not to push further.”
“She was eleven who leaves their child in an unknown place?!”
“Clark, please just, these are sensitive topics I hope you learn to build a better relationship with her. As High Priest you’re also an elder who the coven should be able to speak with ease.”
“Miles you know I can’t be vulnerable on demand, I don’t understand why the Priestess was insisting upon me being the successor.”
“Clark…”
“Love,” Loki attempts to have her take a few breaths and drink the water he had kept in the car.
Y/N nods, Loki takes all of her weight and she lets him settle her into the car, she takes a few sips of water. Sniffling as her chest still heaves.
Loki runs his hands over her head, cheeks and arms. When she finally meets his eyes, he worriedly notes the redness in her tear stained ones.
“Thank you.” Y/N whispers, Loki nods, placing a kiss to her temple again.
“I’m sorry he made you share that against your will, I think your father on the other hand deserves quite a few harsh words.” Loki mutters angrily. Maybe more than words he thinks.
“He isn’t worth it, honestly I don’t know why I keep crying over him and what he did to us as a family, what he put me through out of his selfishness.” Y/N admits.
“Darling, he was given a role he doesn’t deserve, you do not do that to your child.” Loki tells her, wiping her escaping tears with the back of his index finger and then thumb.
“I know I never shared that with you, I just,” Y/N loses her words.
“It was a difficult moment, I only wished I could have heard it out of your own volition.” Loki confesses.
They stay quiet, Loki looks back at the house Clark still stands watching, Miles had retreated back into the house.
“Are you hungry?” Loki enquires, Sierra had provided him a list of ways to replenish her energy stores, the top one being rest the remaining being food and stress free moments.
Y/N nods, “We can get take out? I don’t know what to cook with what is left at home; groceries is not something I want to run an errand for today, maybe tomorrow before practice.”
“Of course.” Loki agrees, he checks her again, then walks around the car to the driver’s side.
Their hands lay intertwined upon her thigh as always since their first public date’s drive.
Loki drives to her home, after the conversation that brought out everyone’s worse sides, their little entourage walked on eggshells and Stephen and Loki altered watching over Y/N giving Thor and Nia the Manor and some time to themselves without any responsibilities other than their own.
Nia tried apologising and protesting against the division but understood that maybe this could have them heal from wounds that they never knew existed.
Thor on the other hand said nothing to Y/N nor Loki. Stephen never really spoke unless they had anything to discuss. All in all it was sort of an impasse upon which they had arrived.
Loki walks in through the threshold of the door of the home as Y/N leads the way holding his hand.
There is something lighter in the air maybe the breakdown she had did her some good. Midnight circles around their feet, greeting their return, she had only slightly warmed up to Loki upon his return. Only marking him with her scent when Y/N’s own was present upon him.
Other times Loki swears he could see the cat glaring at him with disdain and anger at leaving them distraught.
As Loki empties the take out boxes into designated plates, his phone chimes. The water still running upstairs indicated Y/N is still in the shower.
Email: Tate Modern
Subject: Return of the Infinity Mirror Room for One Weekend Only. Members Exclusive.
—open to read further—
———————————————————
Email: Rayesa - Tate Modern
Subject: Private Viewing of the Infinity Mirror Room.
Dear Mr. Loki,
I realise that this must be short notice but I could have you and a guest come in for a thirty minute private viewing as before for the return of the same exhibit.
Please let me know as soon as possible so I may save the slot for you if required.
Warmest Regards,
Rayesa Addams-Ahmed
Curator
Tate Modern
Loki finds himself in a blur outside Y/N’s door, he knocks before entering. The shower shuts off and Y/N exits at the same time as he sets foot in, Loki finds his eyes trailing up her frame as Y/N momentarily freezes.
“Loki!” Y/N chides.
“I’m sorry I, I got excited because of an email.” He snaps out turning and covering his eyes with one hand.
She quickly grabs her night shirt throwing it on and only mildly struggles with her pyjama pants, “What email?”
“Tate Modern, the exhibit it is back, it is open for one weekend exclusively for members. Rayesa offered us a private viewing whenever we want.” He explains.
“Tonight we, its late how will we even—,”
“We could eat dinner now, I can drive, or we could even run.”
“No, not after eating.” Y/N shudders at the thought.
“Right you get queasy.” Loki purses his lips, “The train?”
“Faster than the car…” Y/N trails off, Loki turns as he hears her pad towards him.
“I’ll call her.” Loki beams at the prospect of reliving their first date again.
“Yes please.” Y/N grins equally happy at the prospect to have their bond visualised once again.
Loki finds Rayesa’s contact, pressing call.
“Ah, Mr. Loki, I think you found my email I was just sending you an updated one, the private viewings are only open for the next weekend.” Rayesa informs,
“I apologise for the inconvenience, I remember how much your guest and you enjoyed the experience.”
“Oh, just a moment Rayesa,” Loki conveys the change to Y/N they agree to have it next week they’d leave after practice so a ten o’clock night viewing was penciled in under their names.
“Thank you so much. I look forward to catching up with you two.” Rayesa bids farewell.
Loki settles in next to Y/N on the couch as they hold their plates of food.
He’s picked out rewatching modern family knowing it is a comfort show for his mate.
Y/N smiles as they settle into the familiarity of the show.
Plates slowly become empty and bellies are full of future date plans and food. Hearts still stay wounded around the edges but moving towards healing.
Their soft laughter only adds to the comfort Y/N feels. Her head rests on Loki’s chest as they shift into a more laying down position, Loki’s arms encircle her, the throw blanket laid over them, his fingertips trace over her back as they lay still watching.
Y/N finds sleep creeping upon her easier. Her eyelids slowly droop. Y/N sighs snuggling closer to Loki, his body slightly colder than her own but there was a comfort he brought to her by just being there.
“I missed this,” She admits, Loki looks down at her sleepy face, smiling.
“Missed what?” He enquires, he shares the sentiment of this quiet moments that were as much as theirs to keep as were their moments out and about.
“This, laying with you, hearing your breathing, having you near me.” She confesses.
“I have missed having you in my arms.” Loki confesses as well.
They yet hadn’t spoken alone about what transpired when he quote unquote broke things off.
Y/N and Loki both silently agree that moments of comfort and finding their way back to each other took priority.
It was futile to move forward with that hanging above their heads, but they just wanted to escape till when they could, till their hearts and minds wanted to hide away from the harsh words.
Three words still dance on the tip of her tongue. Even in her sleep addled moment. She wanted to whisper them.
Loki feels the bond shift back to silver, he feels his breath knocked out of his lungs at the force with which Y/N’s love cascades across their bond towards him at full throttle, venom pools at the corners of his eyes.
She still held love for him.
Maybe he had hope, hope that he could have her forgiveness her love to cherish again and never let go.
“I love you.” Loki whispers against her temple. Keeping her in dreamland with his soft caresses and soothing words of affection.
————
Sunday.
—————
Grocery shopping turned out to be an impromptu reunion between the two best-friends and brothers. They first hesitated and awkwardly hugged.
Then Nia dropped the canned soup display when she picked one up from the middle. Y/N saw the whole thing from the other end.
Loki and Thor were off broodingly staring at each-other in the corner.
Y/N wheeled her cart quickly to Nia, grabbing her and pretending they were never near the display to begin with, only when they reached the aisle for detergents did they begin to laugh.
“That was exactly like the cartoon.”
Nia wipes a tear that strays due to the laughter.
Y/N only giggles nodding, the mental imagery on repeat.
“Ma’am do you know who touched the soup display?” The store manager approached them. They straighten up. Shaking their heads.
“It looks fine to me.” Nia says gesturing to the display.
The man turns around and the display is perfectly in place.
Thor and Loki round out from the next aisle holding various decoy items with smiles of achievements on their innocent faces.
“I swear I saw the mess just a second ago.” The manager turns back to their ground then scratching the back of their head they go to inspect it up close.
Y/N grins spying the Nutella jar Loki holds, “This is incentive to kick ass today.” He insists.
“Whats today?” Nia questions, Thor silently watches the exchange.
“Witch training.” Y/N informs making space for the items in Loki’s hands in the cart.
“Oh, how is it going?”
“Kicking ass some days and getting my ass kicked most days.” The young witch admits.
“You’re going to do great. I believe in you.” Nia pulls Y/N in for a hug.
Y/N hugs back, her heart feeling elated at the happiness of having her best friend back, not that she was lost to her. Just the fact that they weren’t speaking.
Thor clears his throat drawing the friends apart.
“Thor.” Nia huffs, “I just got my bestie back.”
“I’m not keeping you apart I just wanted to say that, I’m sorry.” Thor looks down at Y/N apologetic.
“Oh,” Is all Y/N is able to muster.
“I realise things could have been handled keeping everyone’s emotions safe and not jeopardise your bond with my brother.” Thor admits, “I’m also sorry that I didn’t protect you better when you were vulnerable.”
“I’m sorry too for implying that taking care of you was a burden.” Nia adds.
Characters: Loki, Thor, Fem OC, Reader, Bucky Barnes, Stephen Strange
Warnings:angst, mentions of depression, discussion about depression, non consensual drug usage, fluff, Bucky just wants his PhD done man, non con blood drinking, Binder over usage by a character, discussion of removing the binder, body dysmorphia, angst between reader and loki, loki fluff, angst between reader and bucky. MINORS DNI
Word Count: 11.2k
A.N.:sorry for going awol there was alot going on irl and i lost all drive to write but i’m back and motivated, i have more work lined up so please do check out my masterlist!
Sierra looked between Miles and Clark, a grim expression upon their faces.
“Can the two of you tell me what happened that caused baby witch to pass out? For four days?”
“Well, we went pretty hard with the history lesson.” Clark scratches the back of his neck.
“What did you do to the bond?” Sierra wonders.
“Well apparently the vampire had already caused interference, it was frayed intensely.” Miles responds covering his eyes with the palms of his hands.
Exhaustion riddled the two men.
“Did he not want her? I’ve never heard of vampires wanting to break a bond…” Sierra furrows her eyebrows, none of the books about vampires suggest willingness to wreak a bond so sacred given once in a lifetime.
“I believe there was something afoot prior to our intervention.” Clark muses, as he sifts through the box of grimores once again.
“Do you think we can keep her prepared?” Miles wonders aloud, marking the bottles of herbs.
“Either she is or we use the same technique as we did these, past few days.” Clark suggests, astral projection demands energy out of them but is a viable option to remain uninterrupted.
Sierra gasps, “Eight decayed bodies were found in the northern region of Romania. Bodies of campers, mangled and burnt they suspect an animal attack and then the tents caught fire.”
She then scoffs at the reasoning, “This screams vampire.”
“He’s closing in on covens much more rapidly.” Clark purses his lips, looking at Miles.
“You want to reach out to her again?” His husband vocalises the thought.
“She’s woken up an hour ago.” Sierra reads the update from her nursing shift partner.
“Then she’s had an hour to rest.” Clark deems, setting up the candles for the circle.
Miles grabs the dried lavender sprigs, arranging them in a crescent within the circle, smaller candles to denote the stars akin to their shared necklaces.
Sierra lights the candle residing at the centre of the crescent, she then takes her place at Clark’s left and Miles stands across her.
Clark begins welcoming the element governing each direction,
“From the North we call upon Fire, from the East we call upon Air, from the South we call upon Earth, from the West we call upon Water, Spirit we call upon you and we call upon the protection given by our moon.”
Crackling of the candle flames,
Cool breeze of a summer afternoon,
The scent of earth after rain,
The bubbling of a stream,
The iridescent line of spirit traces the circle, and each sprig of lavender intertwining the three witch coven members.
“Allow our fourth member to connect with us in the realm of astral, guide us, moonlight to the one we seek,
allow us elements the chance with her to speak.” Clark seeks permission, soon they are led to the realm as they wait for Y/N to join them.
— — — —
“Well, this is not how I expected to find you.” Nia looks between Loki and Y/N, the latter still between the vampire and the wall.
Y/N places a palm against Loki’s chest. He shifts.
Nia walks over, “What the fuck were you thinking?” She looks at her best friend.
“I left you a letter!” Y/N defends.
“A letter? Gee thanks. Where was the part about a four-day sorcery or witchy bender?” The shorter woman demands.
“I’m surrounded by a bunch of idiots.” Nia rubs her temples moving to the couch.
Thor knocks as he enters, giving Y/N a smile and a pat on the shoulder.
“Welcome to the supernatural club.”
Y/N laughs, “Yeah officially in it I suppose.”
Nia glares at Thor.
Thor in turn pales, slightly.
Her irritation takes prominence he looks at her apologetic.
Loki gazes between the two then back at his mate.
“You should get back into the bed.” He murmurs.
“I’m good thanks—,” “Get on the bed.” Nia gives her a glare and for once Y/N is afraid of Nia.
Loki moves forward to help Y/N.
“I can handle it.” She spits out.
“Be my guest.” He gestures for her to move ahead.
Y/N leaves the support of the wall, lowering the guard rail and sits on the bed. Everyone stares at her expectantly, “What?”
“Go on, tell us what happened.” Thor requests.
“Coven customs won’t permit her to say anything.” Loki pipes up.
Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, Loki feels her irk through the bond distantly.
“Sorry.” He adds.
“Right the customs don’t allow me to divulge too much information, the sensitive kind, the awakening did undo what Loki did the night I was attacked by Zemo in the forest.”
“You remember?” Nia’s eyes widened and her voice raised an octave, “How?”
“I think the awakening did something to undo it…” Y/N looked down at her hands, the memory was fresh in her mind not distant. She wondered for a moment, if Loki did not have to erase that dance, those touches.
How would have things between them shifted? Would they have confessed earlier? Would Loki be able to confess at her doorstep?
Or would it just be brushed away as a moment of weakness?
“Well, that is something to know.” Nia glances at Thor, he offers her a small smile. She looks back at her best friend on the bed.
“They showed me the history of the coven, these two were under Alexander and had to well partake in the extinction, but the high priestess at that time, Samana,” Loki looks to the floor as Y/N continues,
“Loki was involved with her and they allowed a portion of the coven to live on and pass down the magick.”
“I had to do what I did.” Loki defends.
“I thought vampires were to wait for their mates?” Nia interjects.
“Not all follow the norm, at least not in Alexander’s coven, he pushed everyone to, ‘have their unregulated fun’.” Thor explains, a wince on his features.
“So basically, you all were told to sleep around?” Nia looks between the brothers.
“It was not just sleeping around… Blood sharing, usage of our gifts to gain insight, lead witches astray or humans, lure them. Our kind has done questionable things. Things that, that have haunted me in my sleepless nights.” Loki gazes at Y/N, her eyes trace over his features.
They had this conversation before, being forced to do these unspeakable things, preying upon innocents, killing covens.
“You aren’t that person anymore.”
Loki closes his eyes tightly at the words his mate repeats to him she’s utter against his lips before.
Thor watches Nia, her eyes glaze over with unshed tears, “Is, was anything done to you if you did not comply?”
Thor pulls her into his lap as he sits on the couch.
“There was Brock.”
“He’s horrible.” Nia states from the events that were shared by Thor.
Loki laughs humourlessly, “His death does not bring the closure, I wished it brought forth.”
“Brother.” Thor sighs, he runs his fingertips over Nia’s forearm, the gesture brings more comfort to him than her.
Loki seats himself on the stool near Y/N’s bed.
“I need to tell you why I left.” Loki takes her hand.
“I don’t want to know—,”
“It is why the bond is scrambled,” Loki hears her heart stutter, her lips part as her jaw drops.
“What did you do, Loki?” Y/N finds her voice, the tone rising as anger ebbs through her and interlaces the broken fragments of their bond.
“I did it to protect you, your coven should not have survived earlier, Alexander would know, and it would not matter if you are my mate, so,”
Y/N felt Loki’s voice turn into a haunting echo. Her eyes shifted to Thor and Nia; they began to stretch farther away as the room began to expand.
“What?” Her own voice an echo, her hands blur in and out, reminding her of how the drugs would take over.
“Y/N?” Loki’s worried voice silently reaches her, she looks up at him, multiple Lokis are cupping her cheek.
The scent of lavender fills her senses.
“Lavender?” She breaks the syllables as she vocalises.
“What is going on?” Nia stands up as does Thor.
The hospital room disappears.
Candles burning, lavender, crescent moon.
Candles burning, lavender, crescent moon.
A circle with candles.
“North by the Fire, by the Air from the East, Earth of the South, West brings the Water, Spirit surrounds you, young witch and the protection of the moon, meet your coven in the astral realm we have much to do.” Clark’s voice greets her ears as their image of standing around a circle becomes clearer.
In the physical realm, Loki lands on his knees. The stool makes a clang.
“Brother!” Thor, pulls Loki upright.
Loki wheezes, “She—,” he chokes on his words, the bond clutches at him as panic sears.
His side of the bond is burning painfully with worry.
Bring her back,
bring her back,
bring her back
where is her soul?
where is her soul?
where is her soul?
“She’s unconscious.” Nia deems, gently letting go of her hand.
“She is in the astral realm.” Thor explains, “If she stays there too long the bond may break. The soul bond is heavily weakened. I fear they may not get a chance again.”
“Fuck. Could we astral and prevent it?” Nia hopes, her resolve breaks as her mate shakes his head.
“We need to find the coven and stop them.” Thor hurriedly states.
“The patients, Miles and Clark.” Loki lowers the guard rail, grabbing onto Y/N’s hand, momentarily relaxing at the contact.
“Find Stephen he will have the patient records and addresses.” Loki contemplates shifting closer to Y/N.
In the astral realm, Y/N finds dread seeping in, why does it feel as though something is being snatched away?
“What is going on? Is everything okay?” Y/N gazes at the three members.
“Alexander Pierce is going on a rapid witch-hunt.” Miles informs her, she moves closer to the circle.
“Is he here nearby?” Y/N looks between the three, there is a tug in her chest, as though a deep-rooted plant is being tugged from the soil.
“Last known location was Romania, he usually converts those he deems useful, his gift is knowing if abilities get transferred to the vampire form of an individual.” Clark explains.
“So, we need to prepare to take him down.” Y/N verbalises the unspoken sentiment.
“Precisely.” Miles nods.
“However, you need to train harder than before for harnessing your abilities.” Clark adds, a look of worry passes over his features.
“Could we do that in the more physical realm? This drained me down four days… I can only imagine how much the astral realm impacts your energies.” The baby-witch suggests, a wince gracing her features at the sensation that is manifesting tenfold within her.
“It is true, we need to practice in the physical realm.” Sierra agrees, “There is far too much risk remaining in this realm.”
“Also, you need to start your own grimoire.”
“My own book or spells?” Y/N raises an eyebrow.
“Basically, a guide, not all spells work for you, there are different banishments, hexes, protection spells that work and don’t work. Sort of like your techniques as a physio? You need to find the correct ones and practice.” Sierra smiles encouragingly.
“I suggest starting with finding your grandmother’s Grimoire, and if you cannot find it start with protection spells.” Miles offers.
“Okay.”
“We need you to focus on this, so I suggest you divide time between your degree and your coven.” Clark’s words have an authoritative undertone.
“Yes, getting Alexander off of our backs will be helpful to everyone.” Y/N agrees.
“It will be, do not get distracted.” Clark sighs.
“Your mate how is he?” Miles curiously wonders much to Clark’s displeasure.
“The bond is messed up, I he was saying something right when, well…” Y/N gestures to the circle with her hands, her chest constricts again.
Sierra looks at Y/N pointedly, “Is something bothering you?”
“I have this gnawing sensation in my chest as if something is getting uprooted.” She rubs over her sternum it does little to soothe her.
“That is the bond being ripped.” Clark explains, Y/N widens her eyes.
“No. What, no send me back.” Y/N pleads.
“Why? Did he not leave you? Did he not mess with the bond?” Clark’s features have disapproval written all over them.
“He is my mate.”
“He left you.”
“That is between him and I to sort through.”
Miles’ eyes widen, “Clark you knew.” He says accusingly.
“Oh, hell no, if her bond breaks, she is going to be in no position to be of any help.” Sierra yells almost.
Y/N grips her head, the sensation increases in intensity, she can feel the beginning of the uprooting of the threads of the bond.
“Send me back please.” She falls to her knees at a harsh tug, “Loki.”
“Clark, close the circle.” Miles glares at him.
“I will not.”
“Clark, close the circle, now. She could have long term trauma.” Sierra presses on, the readings she did deeply into the bonds have given her intensive knowledge.
“Sierra.” Clark warns.
Y/N hunches over, clutching her chest.
Loki’s eyes prick with venom as Y/N’s unconscious body moves to clutch onto her chest. He knows she can feel it too.
Everything he’s done to cause damage mocks him, he never wanted to lose her.
The thread tugs harshly, the silver glow that formed goes towards bronze again, splotches of black appear.
“Why is it turning black?” Y/N looks at the bronze thread that surrounds her with spots of shapeless black.
“It’s breaking.” Sierra has tears in her eyes.
“I’ll lose him, please, I’ll prioritise the coven, just please don’t let me lose him.” Y/N feels the warm tears cascade down her face. She finds herself crying on behalf of her mate, taking the share of his unshed tears.
Loki pulls her body closer, wiping the tears that fall. If he could cry their tears would mix.
“I’m so sorry, I did this to you, to us.” Loki presses his lips to her forehead.
“If the bond is strong enough, I would have to turn you. I, I could not take that choice away, I fell for you, I love you so deeply from the bottom of my un-beating heart.” Loki wonders if she can hear.
“I thought if I kept the bond hanging Alexander would spare you, I reached out to a witch. When i left, she kept scrambling the bond ever so slightly. But then, then you over dosed.
“I felt my world shatter. Y/N I ran, ran back to you for holding you once more.
“Zemo said, the scramble was enough to know that you were mine, I made sure that my mark was upon you.”
Y/N hears Loki’s voice.
Miles looks at Clark, Clark keeps his gaze on the fallen witch.
Sierra glares openly at the high priest.
“I wonder if you will forgive my actions, even if you find it in that heart of yours that encompasses all the kindness, I have ever been worthy of in my entire life. The affection that you gave me.” Loki pauses as pain tears through deeper between them, he shudders as does Y/N in the astral realm.
“Clark please.” She heaves out a sob.
“Even if you do forgive me, I will not forgive myself. I, I could have stayed and protected you. I could have told you the truth but when I saw the necklace, I knew I had to use the way decided before. He despises your coven, hates it with a vengeance. I could have protected you better, I could love you better.” Loki presses his lips over her cheeks and temple.
“I could love you better, I could have given you the love you deserved to receive. Not what I gave to you instead.” Loki’s voice ceases.
Y/N sobs brokenly, the flames upon the candles burn brighter and intensely. She needs to get back, the spells rhyme and have intent. She needs to get back to Loki. Y/N would deal with the insubordination to Clark later.
She looks at Sierra, who nods understandingly.
“Fire by the North guided to by stars,
Wind by the East caressing my scars,”
“Stop it.” Clark warns.
“Earth by the South our bodies you guard,
Water by the West you wash away foes who intend facade,”
“As your high priest, I—,”
“Spirit, guide me back to where I lay,
Moonlight, protect me on my returning way.”
Y/N visualises returning back to the hospital room, a valiant effort in ignoring the crumbling bond.
Sierra pushes energy towards Y/N, letting her words echo.
Miles’ jaw drops when the side Y/N is on begins turning back into the hospital room.
Y/N keeps the visualisation on, a small moon guides her back to where her body lays in Loki’s arms. Her astral form strokes his cheek, Loki opens his eyes at the contact.
Y/N returns to her body, wrapping her arms around him with an urgency. Loki buries his head in the crook of her neck.
“I’m sorry.” He sounds broken.
Y/N strokes his cheek, her hand moving to his scalp, Loki’s eyes close at the familiar sensation. Sleep never came to him, but this? His Y/N’s fingertips softly moving through his hair, providing quiet comfort and love to him? This replaced his want for slumber.
“We’ll talk about it all later. Okay? I hope I wasn’t too late…” Y/N presses a kiss to his head.
“Its still weakened, not broken.” Loki pulls her closer, his lips brush over her neck.
Y/N feels relief when the stars slowly climb across her chest. They seem distant but they make their presence known.
“Do you need to feed?” She continues her slow movement across his scalp.
“No, not yet.” Loki breathes in her scent, the vanilla grounding him.
They lay that way, months since they shared the intimacy of each other’s company.
There is a knock on the door.
“Strange.” Loki shifts the two of them into an upright position, Y/N stays close tucked into his side.
“It is Doctor Strange.” The man corrects as he enters, her chart in hand, “How are you fairing?” He does a once over on Y/N.
“A bit better now, earlier… I was traversing the astral plane with our bond almost breaking.” She summarises.
“Hmm, yes, your best-friend and brother informed me. They are on the way to the given address. I suppose you haven’t contacted them yet in favour of being close.” The doctor gives them a pointed look.
Y/N feels her cheeks warm in embarrassment.
“Well, I advise that you both stay close, even if you put distance the bond will force you to seek the other out. Having undergone too much duress. You need to rest as well, two astral projections for this stage of your awakening, speak to your coven later.” Doctor Strange turns to Loki, “here.” He places down two blood bags.
“Thank you.” Loki nods in appreciation.
“Could you,” Y/N wonders if its the right thing to do but it just hit her how horrible of a friend she is, “Doctor Strange, could you please check on Emery?”
“Are they not well? They are in the intensive care unit today for rounds.” His eyebrows furrow, worry lacing his features.
“No, um, they wear a binder and well they might over use it usually I keep tabs I just saw the clock and well…” Y/N looks up at Loki when he squeezes her hand in assurance.
“I will speak to them.” The Doctor nods, “I still expect the presentation of the case with the juniors taking the history.” He reminds as he exits.
Loki eyes the bags, looking at Y/N.
“You can do it… I’ll just close my eyes if that is comfortable for you. Kind of like a juice bag you know.” She giggles at the absurdity of the statement.
Loki chuckles, “Very rich in iron this juice.” He plays along, shifting off of the bed to grab the bags.
Y/N feels the stars receding, he is not even more than ten feet away.
In a blur Loki is back next to her.
“Was that as awful for you?” He cups her jaw, she nods.
“It, it was as though missing you but it ached.” She informs, the stars slowly return to their place as they did whenever Loki was nearby.
“The stars back yet?” Loki smiles as she nods, he makes a small tear on the bag, looking at her.
“You know I’ve had you feed from me.” She reminds him.
“That was an emergency.”
“Still, it doesn’t put me off, you need this for your optimal strength.”
Loki nods, bringing the bag close, the liquid coating his tongue, he hums as his fangs descend puncturing the bag further.
He is aware of her warm hand intertwined with his left one. Rubbing light circles. Her free hand preoccupied with texting Nia and Thor to fall back. He moves onto the second bag, the discards both in the red hazard bin.
Loki shifts their position again, Y/N faces Loki, his arm now around her waist.
“You need rest, witchling—darling—Y/N.” He tells her, annoyed that he muddled over the affectionate terms. After her declaration he isn’t sure of what to say to her.
Y/N strokes her thumb across his cheek.
“You can use the nicknames.” She shifts closer towards him, her head tucked under his chin.
Y/N relishes in his scent, no longer having to traverse through the memory to pretend he is close.
“I missed you.” She confesses.
“I missed you as well.” He exhales, turning to place a kiss upon her wrist.
The stars cascade between them, floating across their chests.
— — — —
“They can’t let the human ever go on a mission can they?” Nia angrily mutters.
“Well, it is for your safety.” Thor adds lightly.
“Safety-schmafety, the day I decided to be with a vampire I think that went out the window.” Nia crosses her arms.
Thor shakes his head as he makes the U-turn to head back to the hospital.
“I’d protect you with my dying breath.”
“You aren’t allowed to say stuff like that.” Nia swats his arm.
“It is true though. I mean right for the moment you dropped all the weights at the gym.” Thor teases, fondness blooms like a thousand tiny suns across their bond.
“We were not going to speak of that.” Nia groans but smiles, “I was surprised at your strength.”
“I was doing push ups.” Thor defends.
“One handed.” Nia recalls the day as easily as breathing.
Seeing Thor, just made her feel as though she was harbouring a mini solar system within her entirely made up of bright burning suns.
Thor smiles to himself, his own personal sunshine next to him.
He reaches over, grabbing her hand over the console bringing it up to his lips.
“I’d protect you too.” Nia confesses, “Till the sun burned out from within me.”
“Nia…” Thor gazes at her intently, his senses taking care of the drive, “I’d protect you till the suns I harbour cease to exist.” Nia affirms.
Fourteen Months Ago.
Loki’s classroom is unusually quiet. He sprung on a test for them to annotate a poem they were to discuss.
His green eyes trail over the students, thinking hard and long for formulating the correct answers.
Bucky sits next to Y/N, a bold move to invade the space that Loki shares with her.
Y/N sits in the second row towards the left corner, the first row is only occupied on the right corner.
As though he called out to her, Y/N’s eyes move from the paper to Loki. He raises an eyebrow, questioningly.
Y/N shakes her head looking back down, a frustrated sigh escaping past her lips. Bucky check up on her when he hears the sigh. Loki rolls his eyes, a grimace gracing his features.
“Mr. Barnes, eyes on your own paper please.” Loki chides.
Bucky returns his gaze to his own paper, Y/N looks towards him then toward Loki.
The words Loki spoken on Saturday repeat themselves within her.
Her heart lurches, bits and pieces that Loki had given her cloud her mind.
Loki watches as she grows lost in thought.
Is it not baffling?
He was so unwilling to have someone forced to love him and now that she might be taken away by someone else, he can’t lose her?
Loki breathes in deeply.
She saw him in a light he had not bothered to see himself with, the assignment he traced the pages she changed it, never sent him the original, the one he had begun to read.
Loki felt a small tickle of anxiety loom through the still forming bond. He focused upon Y/N. She was frantically writing away on the paper checking her watch for the time.
“Shit, shit, shit.” Y/N knew the poem, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. The question Loki prepared was of two parts, the first to annotate the poem briefly and the second to write a minimum two hundred words for the appeal about the road less travelled upon, albeit it seemed she wouldn’t complete this test because the two hundred words never presented them to her and she only had ten minutes left.
“Is anyone done?” Loki questions his class, a chorus of panicked ‘no’s returns to him, “Will increasing the time help?” He asks and Y/N’s head snaps up her eyes convey her need for time.
“You have twenty minutes added so that gives you roughly a half hour, so I hope you all may try to cross two hundred words.” Loki takes a walk around the class as relieved sighs escape the frantic students.
“Thank you.” Y/N lowly whispers as he passes by and Loki offers her a smile.
Bucky Barnes’ hands shake, he blinks a few times. Gaze unfocused and this feeling of there being something dangerous near him takes his dread to tenfold.
He moves his eyes around the room, the dread increases when he find Loki looking at his own watch.
To be nervous of a professor is one thing but this weird feeling of dread was another thing entirely.
He remembers his grandmother telling him she used to get these feelings of dread whenever supernatural creatures were around, he has half the mind to scoff. Yeah, the professor gave a weird old timely vibe but not enough to warrant him being a creature.
Bucky sneaks a glance towards Y/N again. She’s gliding her pen across the paper and he makes sure to tell her a joke about lighting it on fire with the pace of friction against the paper.
The test concludes and Loki begins to gather the papers from each row, when he reaches Y/N’s end he gives her warm smile.
“I thought your paper would catch fire at the pace.” Loki chuckles as she blushes. Bucky frowns.
“I um,” Y/N shrugs, giving a small giggle.
Loki moves towards Bucky, when their hands meet as the paper is exchange Loki widens his eyes but quickly masks his discomfort where-as Bucky feels as though he has been burned.
What the fuck?
“Dismissed.” Loki announces quickly returning to his desk on the podium, the students begin shuffling out.
Y/N gathers her stationary slowly, wondering if she should speak to Loki now or take another day or two to give him a chance.
While she raises her eyes to meet green, blue ones meet hers.
“Bucky, hey!” She smiles brightly.
“Hey there, you could qualify for frantic writing as an Olympic sport.” He teases lightly. She rolls her eyes but laughs.
“I panicked.” Y/N explains.
“I did too.” Bucky agrees, he hands her the pencil-case she was to place back into the bag.
As their hands brush nothing occurs, Bucky deems maybe it was static that cause the reaction with the professor.
“Listen Poetess, I was hoping,” Bucky pauses as Y/N intently gazes at him.
Loki pretends to be busy organising the papers. His hearing focused on their conversation.
“That um, the date I described? The bookstore one?” Bucky prompts as she nods.
“The great intuitive insight of yours.” Y/N scrunches her nose as she teases and Bucky finds himself wanting to kiss her.
“Yes, that very insight.” Suddenly his mouth dries and he wondered, if asking her out this way is right or wrong.
Loki bites the inside of his cheek.
Please say no. He silently pleads through their bond.
“What about it?” Y/N smiles encouragingly, Bucky takes a deep breath.
“Today? Would you like to meet there? In the evening?” He bites his lip; her eyes linger on them for a moment it is all quiet.
Loki holds his breath unknowingly, Y/N then breaks out into a grin nodding.
“Is five-thirty, okay?” She wonders, Bucky nods enthusiastically.
Loki groans lowly, had his confession had no impact?
Or was she merely trying to not get attached to the vampire?
Or was the bond really not forcing her at all?
The two walk in step towards the door to the classroom.
“I have to run some errands so I’ll meet you there directly?” Y/N informs Bucky, his hand finds the small of her back as he lets her step out first.
“Of course, though I would love to pick you up but we can keep that for next time.”
“Already making plans for a third date Mr. Barnes?”
“What can I say, I believe we will.” Bucky winks at her.
“Oh, is that the intuition speaking?” Y/N raises an eyebrow, Bucky shrugs.
“A magician never reveals his secrets.” Bucky gestures zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key.
Y/N laughs, the mirth cascades over her, though she doesn’t feel the stars.
They walk to the diverging hallway their destinations on opposite ends.
Loki watches them, having stepped out for returning to his office.
Bucky waves goodbye before leaving, Loki nears feeling the tendrils of remaining mirth from Y/N.
She feels stars begin to glow over her, she turns around to find Loki walking in her direction.
“Professor?” She says when he is nearer, Loki slows down to a stop in front of her.
“Miss Y/L/N.” He greets noting the scarce students gracing the hallways.
“I wanted to discuss the assignment, is now a good time?” Y/N deems speaking to him sooner than later is better for the two of them.
Loki is taken aback at her sudden interest to speak to him.
“Yes, I have an hour till lunch free I believe we can discuss your concerns.” Loki gestures towards the path of his office.
They walk in step, Loki notices her lingering gaze upon him.
He opens the door for her allowing her to step inside before him.
Y/N steps to the side allowing him way to enter.
Her eyes fall on his desk, a small blush coating her features about a certain train of thought.
Loki feels a warmth bloom, he follows her gaze to the box of chocolates on his desk.
“You kept the box?” Y/N wonders if he can sense the surprise in her voice.
“You brought them for me.” He simply answers. “I kept a souvenir.”
“Also, you need to sit I believe taking too much weight still is not advised?” He shifts the chair back and Y/N settles down.
Loki takes his designated seat opposite to her.
“So, what about the assignment?” He waits for her response.
“Well, that was a ruse I actually wanted to um, discuss what happened… what you said…” Y/N begins hesitantly.
“Oh, what about it?” Loki hopes to ground himself, suddenly nervous.
“I, whenever you’re near I feel these stars? Its so strange like they wait for you?” Y/N chuckles at the absurdity.
“Would it ease your nerves that I feel them too?” Loki softly smiles, she nods.
“The weeks you came over and we spoke, I felt as though the silly crush I had may have some substance.” Y/N picks at the lint from her tights.
“And then the night before you disappeared… we well kissed. When you went onto zero contact I thought, things were ruined.” She confesses.
“I truly apologise for how I handled my communication; you deserve better.” Loki exhales, pursing his lips.
“Thank you for saying that, I, I understand there are things you may have not wanted to share given your perception to how things are, or maybe your experiences,”
“But I, I cannot um, I cannot accept being closed out or shunned from someone to whom I would give my heart.” She grips the handle of the chair then dares to look up at Loki.
“Are you telling me you do not want to pursue us?” It takes everything in him to not want to confront these feelings to avoid them to bury them deep.
Keep them there till he goes numb.
Y/N’s eyes widen in panic,
“Loki no I, I’m telling you that if we want to pursue this potential relationship, I need you to not be closed off but I understand that certain things will take time, and that I’m,” She takes an inhale.
“I was once with someone, he never defined the relationship, whenever I asked for something more he would close off, then talk sweet nothings and try to manipulate it. If he needed anything? I’d be there but if and when the tables turned my effort wasn’t reciprocated. I cannot go through that.”
“Well, I’m not going to do what that fool did to lose you.” Loki assures.
Y/N smiles, Loki clears his throat.
“Are you and Mister Barnes in the middle of a potential courtship?” Loki wonders curiously.
“I will be letting him know that I’m not interested to pursue anything other than friendship.” Y/N informs, Loki nods.
“I believe this means I have to take you on a date?” Loki gives her a warm smile, the one he always reserved for her.
“If you want to, I’m not pushing you for anything that may be uncomfortable. Also, there is the case of you being my professor.” She says, returning to pick at the lint.
“The course will end soon; we can go public here then I will inform the board two weeks after the course ends. Does that seem alright?” Loki wants to make her look into his eyes.
Y/N nods, still not meeting his gaze.
Loki stands, making his way towards her, he unbuttons his blazer before he kneels before Y/N. Gently taking her hands in between his own.
“I know it may seem as though I do not want to be seen in public with you but, I do not want to put your future at this university at stake. I can’t ask that from you.” Loki intently looks at her as she raises her gaze to meet his own.
“I don’t want your future here at stake either.” She reiterates, “We can wait to go public.”
Loki kisses the back of her hand.
“Do you have plans for lunch?” He enquires.
Y/N nods, “Have to meet up with Nia, she wants a new dresser for the room.”
“At this point the two of them need to buy two pieces of each furniture item.” Loki deadpanned.
Y/N laughs, “How did they even manage to break a dresser?”
“They even broke my rosewood writing desk.” Loki shakes his head.
“That is bad.”
“At least they did not venture into my room.”
Y/N watches Loki consider the thought and she does the same for her own room, both of them shudder and then break into a fit of laughter.
— —- —- —-
James Buchanan Barnes was having an awful day. He went from a happy morning to a stupid test where his professor made him feel like his hand was burned.
Then when he touched Y/N he felt a tingling buzz through him.
But this right now takes the cake, he knows he left his history draft on his desk this morning, he purposely did because it was a shit draft. He was going to grovel in front of the professor for an extension but then he thought if he has the shit draft, he can make his case about it being a shit draft.
After all Professor Ahmed though a strict and meticulous person taught them enough to recognise their own potential.
So now he wonders holding the aforesaid shit draft in his hand, exactly how to grovel?
He really, really implores the depths of his mind as to how the fuck is it in his bag and not shit anymore.
There is even a paragraph he wanted to type but never did get too because that idea struck him five seconds before he found the draft.
‘I really wish I had a green pen right now.’
“Oh, I have a green pen, here you go.” Bucky offers the pen to the wide-eyed classmate.
“Uh? Are you a psychic?” The student takes the said pen.
“No, um why?” If this day gets any weirder Bucky promises he’s going to call his grandmother.
“Well, I wished I had this very colour and you well, magically procured it.”
“I’ve been told I’m intuitive…” Bucky shrugs.
The conversation ends as Professor Ahmed enters the room, carrying her laptop and a few papers.
Half an hour later, Bucky stands nervously as Professor Ahmed’s eyes scan over the shit but not shit draft, her hand fidgets with the treasured fountain pen with which she grades all their submitted assignments.
‘If he could just re-arrange the paragraphs, he will have something solid.’
“I know the paragraphs are oddly placed, I wanted to ask for an extension I feel if I have just a few more hours. I know it is a strong paper.” Bucky scratches the back of his head.
“You read my mind; I was just thinking to correct the flow.” She writes the comment in the margin. Then a praise for the paragraph that he wanted to write but hadn’t but it was still ever present.
Professor Ahmed hands him back the paper with a proud look.
“You keep doing this Mr. Barnes and I think we can discuss that academic position.”
Yup he will continue magically producing great drafts. Bucky smiles and nods.
“Thank you, I’m sorry for cutting off your comment about the paragraph flow…”
“Mr. Barnes I never said anything, you initiated the conversation about what I was thinking.” Professor Ahmed smiles and dismisses him, Bucky blinks a few times then returns to his seat head in his hands.
‘Should I just leave the pen there or ask him what is wrong?’
“You can just leave it there.” Bucky answers without looking up.
The pen is returned and the classmate scurries off.
Bucky realises he did not actually hear a verbal thought.
He turns to face Maria Hill, another person in running for either the PhD position and the academic position.
“Hey.” He greets, she takes off her glasses and smiles in response.
“Hey, I heard the academic comment so if you’re outta the race for the PhD that is mine.” She warns teasingly.
He chuckles dryly, “Can I ask you something and you won’t be weirded out?”
“I’ve seen you scarf down 500ml of iced coffee during our TA phase I think it is tough to weird me out.” She looks over him warily, “Is it about the girl from your creative writing class?”
She pokes his shoulder when he blushes.
“Oh, someone is a smitten kitten.” Maria teases.
“Well, I do have a date so let’s see how that goes.” Bucky answers nonchalantly.
“So, what did you want to ask? Make out tips? Date tips?”
“Oh, I have the perfect date down to the dot.” Bucky smugly grins, brushing lint off of his shoulder in confidence.
“The confidence in here is at Everest.” Maria grins.
“Okay, okay, so um chose one of the following and I’ll guess, red, blue, lavender, pink.”
She looks at him pointedly.
“Humour me please?” He requests.
Maria goes over the options,
‘Lavender.’
“Lavender.” Bucky answers in synchronous with her thought
“Woah okay.” Maria is bewildered.
“Okay next, think of a number between one and five thousand.” Bucky knows he might sound insane.
‘Three-thousand eight hundred and fifty-six no fifty-one’
“Three-thousand eight hundred and fifty-six no, fifty one” Bucky says.
“How the hell are you doing that!” Maria covers her mouth.
“I really don’t know lucky guess?”
“Even the switch of a number?” She raises an eyebrow.
Yeah, he’s definitely calling Grandma Barnes.
Bucky only shrugs in response, when his phone buzzes he is sure he replicates the shock Maria had upon her face when his grandmother’s picture flashes across the screen as she calls him.
Most of the classroom is doing their own thing and Professor Ahmed is still going through papers.
“Hey Gramma.” Bucky greets as a calm washed over him.
“How is my little Bucky?” He can hear the smile in her voice.
“I was thinking about you.” He says honestly.
“I had a feeling, hence the call. Have you been guessing thoughts?” Her gentle voice questions.
Bucky feels his shoulders sag, “I don’t know how am I being able to do so…”
“Can you come down for a visit? Its better if we converse in person. You will get time to return back by five thirty.”
“How do you—, never mind.” Bucky shakes his head knowing her uncanny ability.
“I’ll see you in an hour Bucky.” Gramma says as they bid each other good bye.
Present.
Doctor Strange makes his way through the crowd. His chest feeling constricted, briefly wondering if the theory put forth by Loki holds water.
The doors to the department, he uses his heightened hearing to locate the sole heartbeat in the empty department. Accompanied by ragged breathing.
“Emery?” Stephen calls out.
The screech of velcro and a groan originate from the back room. Stephen knocks on the door.
“Emery? Are you okay?” Stephen calls out.
“I—,” Emery sniffles, chest still feeling raw as they struggle to breathe.
“Y/N’s awake, she asked me to check up on you. I know about the binder; do you need anything?” Stephen struggles to not rip the door off, their breathing pattern sounding off.
“I—, I went over the limit, I want to take it off but I don’t, I don’t have anything oversized.” Emery’s broken voice comes through.
“Emery, I want you to please try to breathe in the limit of the binder. I will be back in 5 breaths.” Stephen assures.
“You will?” Emery wonders lightly tugging that the binder digging into their skin.
“I promise.”
Something about Stephen Strange’s presence calmed Emery.
“Okay, I, I’ll start…”
“Five breaths and I’ll be back, Inhale, please.”
The small breath reaches his ears and Stephen rushes towards his office, with Emery’s second exhale.
On the fourth exhale his blue shirt is in his hands, as Emery sighs between breaths Stephen knocks on the door.
“I’ve got a shirt; it is in my size so I believe it should meet your over-sized criteria.” The doctor informs.
“Okay… are you sure you’re okay with me, having it?” They ask, one hand on the door knob.
Stephen places his hand on the doorknob as well.
“Completely. You can keep it for however long it provides comfort. If you I could keep a set here in the event you require something oversized but do not have one.” The professor explains hoping his voice carried comfort.
“I don’t mean to make it a habit.” They dryly chuckle.
“Please don’t wear the binder outside of stipulated hours, I, I can understand your friendship with Y/N warrants further comfort but please do not hesitate to reach out in-case you need to speak to someone in her absence.”
The lock clicks, Emery opens the door enough so that the shirt can be given into their hand.
Emery takes a breath, “Holy shit this is an expensive brand.” Their fingertips trace the label.
“It will be very comfortable. I assure you. I will be in my office so you can change with ease,”
“Will you stay outside?” Emery requests.
“Of course.” Stephen assures, stepping back near the door.
The sound of fabric then Velcro reach his ears.
Emery sighs with relief as the restrictive material finally parts with their skin. They try not to stare at the jagged lines indented onto their skin but the mirror in the far corner does pique curiosity.
They clamber over with Doctor Strange’s shirt in hand. Staring at their own reflection and how the colour of the shirt brings out their skin in a way they never knew could.
“How are you fairing, Emery?” Strange’s baritone of concern pushes an edge of comfort onto them.
“I’m, I’m not okay but, I think I will be, thank you for the shirt,” they say as their hands move through the sleeves as they button it up.
A laugh bubbles over from their belly. Strange smiles at the closed door.
“Do not laugh.” Emery warns, as the knob turns.
“I would never.” Strange promises as the door reveals Emery’s bright eyes and flushed face the shirt several sizes too big upon their frame.
Stephen smiles endearingly, “The colour looks lovely upon you. Brings out the brightness in your eyes.” His breath hitches when Emery looks into his eyes with their own.
A blush coats their cheeks, and they smile shyly. They tug at the sleeve of the shirt.
“Have you eaten yet?” Stephen breaks out of the stupor.
“Oh um, not, not yet. I’ve got some pasta I made; would you like to share?” Emery offers, “It’s, pesto so unless you’re allergic…”
“It is one of my favourites.” Stephen tells them truthfully, only limited human food brought him joy, “I have this spot I usually eat at, unless you want to stay inside?”
Emery stares at the taller man, his tone hopeful, “Is it on campus?” They look down at their own hands.
“It is a park nearby.”
“Lead the way, I feel like fresh air would do me some good.”
Stephen smiles, as does Emery.
They use the communal kitchenette to head up their respective food, Stephen grabs his car keys to retrieve the blanket he carried to the park.
Emery stays quiet for part of the walk, sneaking glances at Stephen ever so often.
“Is something on your mind?” Stephen questions as they enter the park’s shrubbery covered archway.
“Just, um, momentarily felt you’re taking pity on me.” Their hesitance at the admittance apparent.
“Emery, I can understand why it would appear seemingly so, but please, know that I only offered because I would like to get your mind away from what happened. I understand those thoughts may return but, please I would never approach out of pity.”
They’ve stopped walking, Stephen’s spot in mere feet away.
Emery gazes into his blue eyes which hold an emotion they can’t fathom. Tears brim at the corner of their own eyes.
“T-thank you. I, you’ve always been so inclusive and I never felt like an outsider in your department. Thank you.” Emery wipes the stray tears away, Stephen’s hand twitches by his side.
“I believe everyone should have a safe space to be their truest self, not all are lucky enough to have that at home.” Stephen looks towards the lake that begins from his spot.
“Did, did your family not support something?” Emery blurts out as the pair begin walking in tandem again.
“They did not support my desire for a career in medicine. My father was a miserly businessman and I could not find it in myself to fleece people.” Stephen explains, Emery grabs two corners of the blanket helping to set it down then the two lay the water bottles and food boxes.
“I’m sorry, I can understand that must have been a tough fight.” Emery sighs, reaching out to provide a comforting touch to Stephen’s palm. They hover above as they wait for Stephen’s permission.
The doctor nods, Emery places their hand upon his, eyes widening when they feel an electric pulse coursing between their palms.
Fourteen Months Ago.
Y/N stands near the display window of the bookstore. Eyeing the current top-rated books but nothing calls out to her.
Bucky watches her from across the street where he stands in the shadows a truth about himself revealed.
Bucky lifts his phone to his ear, watching as Y/N furrows her brows looking around before answering the call.
“Hey,” She still looks around.
“I’m not yet at the bookstore.” Bucky informs her, watching her shoulders sag in disappointment.
“Will you be a while? I don’t mind waiting.” Her fingertips trace over the poetry book he had kept in mind for her.
“No, I won’t be coming in, I’m taking a few months off.” He closes his eyes, at her sharp inhale.
“Why? Is, is everything okay?” Y/N steps out of the bookshop, leaning against the wall her eyes on her boots.
“I—, I wish I could explain better, but I can’t, it is a family thing in a nutshell.”
“Oh, um it is not anyone who has fallen sick is it? Is it Gramma? Is she okay?”
“No, no, nothing like that just, some work has come up and the entire family has to be there.”
Y/N looks up to the evening sky.
“Any idea when will you be back?”
“No, it…is… indefinite.” Bucky takes a steadying breath.
“What about the course? And your academic or PhD position?” Y/N bites her lip with worry, he had been working so hard.
“On hold. They promise to reward my hard-work if I return.”
“If?” Y/N wonders what could possibly cause this much of an uprooting in his life.
“You always catch onto the finer things.” Bucky smiles knowingly.
“Bucky, are you, are you not returning?”
“I will, I do not know when.” He assures.
“Then,fuck. Why does this seem like a permanent goodbye?” Y/N runs her hands through her hair.
“I know you have stronger feelings for someone else.”
Bucky exhales as the shock on her face wears off.
“Just, just please stay away from Loki after the course, I, he gives me a bad feeling.”
“James, you’re throwing me off.” Y/N lets out a frustrated groan.
“Are you leaving because of me not having strong enough feelings for you or are you leaving because there is something unavoidable? I, I never wanted to hurt you.” Y/N bites her lip, her throat closing up.
“Please don’t cry.” Bucky requests, Y/N looks to the side and shakes her head, trying to shake the tears away.
“Bucky,” she says his name as if it could be a reason.
“I’m not leaving because of you. I can assure you that much. Although I hope I can come back to find you for the date to complete, Poetess.”
Y/N closes her eyes, why did this hurt so much?
“Bucky please, I, can’t I see you? Before you leave?” She begs, there was always a blossoming friendship between them, it was as though they were at a crux in time with each other.
“Y/N.” Bucky sighs, “It will be harder to leave.”
Y/N shakes her head, a bitter taste at how this evening was playing out and then her eyes meet his blue ones across the road.
Bucky doesn’t speak, nor does Y/N, they can hear their breaths and watch the condensation of exhales as the air grows colder.
Bucky feels his phone buzz, he pulls it away to see his uber is pulling up in a minute.
Y/N’s eyes fall to the suitcase near his feet.
“Why couldn’t you say goodbye to my face?” She finally finds her voice.
The silver vehicle parks in front of him, the window lowered.
“Uber for James Barnes?” The man calls out loud enough.
Bucky looks back at Y/N, he knows his eyes are getting glassy. He knew this could have bloomed into something great, maybe not a relationship but a cherished friendship.
Bucky nods at the driver the trunk popped open, mechanically he goes through the motions of placing his case in as Y/N watches her feet ache to run across and offer comfort but they stay planted into the ground.
Bucky knows he could run to her and seek comfort but he knows that what awaits needs to be done on a priority.
The brunette gets into the car, his hair slips out of the bun slightly when he lowers the window, the car slowly pushes into drive.
Bucky’s voice breaks as he says his parting words, “Because I never wanted to say goodbye.”
“Bucky, please.” The hold on her limbs breaks when he stops looking at her, Y/N steps forward but is pulled back by a pair of familiar arms as a few cars rush past her.
“Y/N what do you think you were doing?! Going out into the street like that!” Thor exclaims, doing a once over, her eyes remain on the path that the silver car took, she looks at her phone and the call is cut, when she tries dialling Bucky’s number again a message of the phone being unavailable greets her.
“He left.”
“Who?”
“Bucky.”
“The warlock—war thesis creative classmate?” Thor corrects himself quickly, he is relieved when he concludes Y/N is too distracted to catch on to his slip.
Y/N looks down, at her hands, “Are, are you heading home?” She questions.
“Yes, Nia asked for a few things I just finished picking them up. Do you want to carpool?” Thor looks at her worried.
“No, I um, I don’t want to intrude date night, I’m just going to be here for an hour or so, I’ll be back home later.”
“You know we wouldn’t mind if you were at home. Are you feeling alright?” Thor places his hand on her arm, Y/N looks up at him, feigning a smile and nodding.
“Yeah, just, just feeling a bit low. I’ll
Be fine around the books.” She bids him goodbye and scurries into the bookstore.
— — —
Loki feels a rush of sadness surge through the bond. He pauses mid sip of his scotch and reading of the email sent by James Barnes.
It coincided with their date time so what was going on?
He grabs his jacket, ditching the need for his car in favour of his own bodily speed.
He enters the bookstore as the intensity of the sadness heightens, Y/N sits tucked away in a corner a pile of books untouched. Intermittently sniffling.
A small lone star presents itself in her chest and Y/N looks up to find Loki gazing at her with worry.
“Did he hurt you?” Loki feels venom coat his tongue at the prospect of the warlock causing harm to her.
“No. He left; I–, he knew I didn’t have deeper feelings but the way he just left without explaining anything. It is just, he stood there on the opposite side he never came over to speak.” A fresh batch of tears stain her cheeks and Loki leans in front of her, his thumb and index finger wiping them away.
“I understand how the loss of a friendship feels, that to one that held prospects of being a long friendship.” Loki continues wiping away the tears that still spill, “It will hurt, till how long you choose that, a week, a month, a year. I know it will be hard today and tomorrow but maybe with time you may understand why he left. Even accept the way he left.” His assurance washes over her, the vampire knows when he comes clean about himself, she may be open to understanding the remaining supernatural entities that walk the earth. Then when the time came her own self.
Y/N nods, allowing Loki to comfort her.
“Would you like me to read to you? We haven’t in a while.” Loki traces over the spines of the books she’s picked out.
He pauses over the book of love by Rumi,
“I hear nothing in my ear but your voice.
Heart has plundered mind of its eloquence.
Love writes a transparent calligraphy, so on
the empty page my soul can read and recollect.”
“You’ve read it?” Y/N smiles as Loki smiles at her.
“I have.”
“Do you have any other quotes from the book you find favourable?” Y/N watches as he sits next to her on the small couch.
“Another which is taken from between a larger piece.” Loki admits, after a moment of thought.
“Will you recite it?” She requests, he smiles.
“Maybe another moment in time I will, first though, I need to know if you have eaten?” Loki gives her a pointed look when she attempts to lie.
“No…” Y/N admits, playing with the zipper of her bag.
“I’ll get two coffees and some cake for you; I believe they have a new Nutella cake.” Loki laughs endearingly as her face breaks out into a beaming smile.
He excuses himself to place the order.
Present.
Y/N sighs relieved as Doctor Strange texts Loki that Emery is alright and that he is even making sure they eat before going back home.
Her head rests once again on his chest and the small glimmer of stars fix their places in the constellation that is the bond the vampire and human share.
Loki presses his lips to her temple, Y/N feels a tug within her at the gesture she missed so dearly.
“When I was apart from you,
this world did not exist, nor any other.” Loki declares, Y/N shifts her head to look up at him. Hazily the brain recalls their conversation about Rumi’s pieces and Loki’s promise to recite a piece he favoured.
“Where there is ruin there is hope for a treasure.” Loki brushes his nose over her jaw.
“Do you still think of yourself as lesser than you are?” Y/N questions once more.
“I find that I am not worthy of several blessings that I have had the fortune to hold in my arms, you are one of them.” Loki admits.
Y/N shifts, sitting up and facing Loki.
“You are worthy.” She whispers, “Why can you not fathom that?”
“I have done things, I hurt you. Y/N, please—,” Loki pauses, the lingering scent of an unwanted presence descends into the room.
“We need to leave, the vampire who attacked you is here.”
In a blur Loki has her at the door, the patient scrubs are still what she wears, Loki hands her bag to her.
Grabbing her close to him again he blurs outward, when he is at the edge of the forest, Loki finds his lower half pulled backward.
Y/N whimpers as she’s ripped harshly away from her mate.
“Loki!” Y/N screams, her back pressed against the chest of the vampire.
Loki is quick to stand back up, “Leave her be.” He warns venom pooling in his mouth.
“I just enjoy her taste, pretty boy.” The cloaked vampire shrugs, dragging Y/N away.
Loki launches himself to grab the vampire only to find that an he has been entrapped in a vampire weave.
“Fuck, fuck,” Loki punches relentlessly, the witch or warlock causing this needs to let him go for him to find her.
Loki retrieves his phone texting both Stephen and Thor about what has occurred.
He brings down his fists against the wall of the trap, the luminous wall shakes but does not relent.
Loki feels his knuckles bruise and heal as he keeps trying to get out of the weave.
Panic floods the bond and Loki cries out in pain at being helpless for his mate.
—- —- —
Y/N knows her spell should work. She’s constantly pressing her palms trying to get the shockwaves out to run but the depletion of her newly acquired energy is still lowered.
Someone was watching them.
“You know, I’ve tasted your blood before.” The wind whips around her, something in her mind reminds her of the impending danger the man’s voice brings. <
For real, I got into the MCU with Thor. Loki has been there for me since I was 12. If I lost him, I honestly don’t know what I would do or who I would be. It would literally be a Nexus event for me.
Episode #053: Everyone Likes Problematic Things with StitchMediaMix
Think before you tweet! This week, Maggie and V are joined by Stitch of Teen Vogue and Stitch’s Media Mix to discuss the current state of fandom, cyberbullying and harassment in fandom spaces, Loki, A/B/O, BTS, and so much more. It’s an episode that’s been requested by more than just our Patrons, and we’re so excited to be able to share it with you!
This Episode Covers…
fandom • fanfiction • fandom racism • cyberbullying • harassment in fandom spaces • proshipping & antishipping • voltron • star wars sequel trilogy • kylo ren & reylo • loki (tv 2021) • sylki • croki • a/b/o (omegaverse) • bdsm, monsterfucking, and kink, oh my! • the falcon & the winter soldier • sarah wilson & sarah/bucky • hatsune miku • hamilton • the social network • twitter fandom • the green knight (2021) • bts • l.e.j. • teen vogue
LISTENandSUBSCRIBE wherever you get your podcasts!
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