#loki incorrect quotes
Loki: *literally on earth for 10 mins, doing nothing*
Stephen: too dangerous, here, fall for eternity
Wanda: *turns a whole damn town into a sitcom, keep people imprisoned for months, have magical babes, bring back the dead, starts a fight with S.W.O.R.D., have a witch-off…*
Stephen: I’m not here for Westview, it’s all fine honey, let’s have a tea shall we?
Loki watching his “file” in the interrogation room like:
Loki : I will face god and walk backwards into hell
Leah : the fuck you will, I didn’t invite you to my house
MCU is not MCU anymore, it’s not Marvel Cinematic Universe, it’s Marvel Cinematic Multiverse at this point
F in the chat for Doctor Strange
Renslayer: How do you plead?
Alligator Loki:grrrr
Renslayer: ugh typical loki, prune him!
Did alligator Loki knew he was adopted or Odin needed to explain him?
Child!Loki, at night in bed: Goodnight moon
Loki:Goodnight tree
Loki:Goodnight ghosts only I can see
Odin, who was tucking him in:*shaking*
Loki (whispering to Peter Parker): Good job on the mission today Spiderling.
Peter (whispering back): Thank you Mr Loki. Why are we whispering?
Loki (still whispering): I want Thor to think we’re conspiring against him. Please look at him when you reply.
Peter (looking at Thor): This is realy funny Mr Loki.
Loki (also looking at Thor): I’m glad you agree.
Thor, sweating in fear: What are they talking about?
Tony, who overheard them but doesn’t want to ruin their fun:Stabbing
{Thor proceeds to yeet himself out the nearest window, the last sound he heard was Loki’s hysterical laughter}
Peter Parker (holding picture of Loki): Have you seen Mr Loki?
Thor: Did he dissappear with the Tesseract again !?
Peter Parker: Oh no he’s fine, he’s reading over there on the sofa, but I just want people to look at him. Isn’t he awesome? :D
Loki:
Peter Parker: Mr Loki are you ok?
Loki, failing to wipe away his happy tears: I-I’m fine
{Loki, Peter Parker and Tony on an Undercover Mission}
Tony (through coms): I need you two to argue and pretend to hate each other until they leave.
Peter Parker (through coms):What?
Loki (through coms):Why?
Tony (through coms): Do it, it’s for a distraction.
Peter Parker (to Loki):You are too awesome and smart! It’s frustrating!
Loki:Me?! You are the- You are the most adorable child in the world!
Peter Parker :*pouts*
Tony on a sigh (through coms): Why… why did that offend him?
Loki (through coms): I usually say ‘in the universe’.
Peter: Mr Loki I need your help!
Loki: What is ever the matter Spiderling?
Peter: Listen, I…I need a good lie.
Loki: Hm… How about feedom. (Peter looks confused) Freedom is life’s great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart, you will know…
Peter: No..nonono…I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at the decathlon meeting today.
Loki: Spiderling your a terrible liar.
Peter: Wha? No I’m not!
Loki: Oh really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the cafe we went to, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
Peter: …Somebody opened the door…to the cafe … And a … Raccoon, came running in and went straight for your muffin I said “Hey! Don’t eat that! That’s Mr Loki’s!” and he said …….. He said “Peter, you stink at lying”. What am I going to do?
Loki(trying not to laugh): Don’t fret, Spiderling. We’ll come up with a good lie. I’ll even help you practice it.
Peter: Oh that’d be great. Thank you Mr Loki.
Peter Parker: [comes home looking sad]
Loki: I WILL DESTROY EVERY ASPECT OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND BURN WHATEVER REMAINS TO ASH IN ORDER TO BE SURE I ERADICATED WHATEVER HURT YOU…
Peter Parker: Can… I have a hug?
Loki, already hugging Peter: Oh, of course.
Peter Parker: Why is life so hard, Mr Loki?
Loki, comforting Peter: Don’t worry Spiderling, I know that this all seems unfair now.
Loki: But someday when you’re older and wiser, you’ll be able to look back on all this…
Loki: And get revenge
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you come to school with me tomorrow?
Loki: Why? What happened?
Peter Parker: I have an assignment to bring something important to me to school and I was hoping if you’ll go.
Loki, happily crying and hugging Peter: You’re important to me too Spiderchild!
Thor: Loki, can you…?
Loki:No
Thor: *walks out of the room and walks back in with Peter*
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, can you…? :D
Loki: Yes, of course sweet Spiderchild :)
Thor, sighing : … Really, Brother?
Loki: We’ll what did you expect, Thor?
Loki: How can I possibly say no to the Spiderchild’s adorable face!?
Peter Parker:*whimpering*
Loki: What happened!? Who did this to you!?
Peter Parker: Oh it’s nothing, Mr Loki. I just stubbed my toe on the door-
Loki: *already has a chainsaw* Which door?
Loki: Spiderling, what did I tell you about lying?
Peter Parker: To do it more often.
Loki: Exactly! I’m so proud of you!
Peter Parker, walking with Loki at the zoo: Let’s do something fun together, Mr Loki!
Loki, smiling: Very well, lead the way.
Peter Parker : Oh! How about we make some balloon animals?
Loki: Alright, but aren’t you scared of balloons?
Peter Parker : Pfft…no.Why would I be scared of balloons? I’ve fought villains who tried to kill me. These are nothing.
Peter Parker : *tries to tie balloon*
Peter Parker : *balloon pops*
Peter Parker : *unholy screaming*
Peter Parker : *clutches Loki’s arm*
Loki:
Loki, patting Peter on the head comfortingly: Let’s go look at the snakes.
[Loki ended up burning down the balloon stall while Peter was not looking]
Loki to the Rescue (Loki Helps Peter Parker Stop a Crime)
{A group of teenagers steal some money from the store. Spiderman thought they were just misunderstood so he tries to talk to them nicely to return the money, but they manage to escape while he was distracted. Loki intervenes}
Robber 1: You hit us with a car.
Loki: You hit the car with your bodies.
Loki: Now listen up you brats! The Spiderling is a good person. He believes in the good of people.
Loki: I don’t
Robber 2: M-my body feels cold…
Loki: It’s shutting down.
Loki: My point is, I don’t want my friend to lose his faith in people.
Robber 3: Okay, okay. W-we’ll return the money.
Loki, glares: You hooligans are going to do a lot more than that.
_________________________________________
{Back at the scene of the crime}
Robber 2: After we left, we thought about what you said, and we realized you were right.
Robber 3: Yeah, what we did was wrong.
Peter Parker:Really?
Robber 3:Yes.
Loki: *death glaring at the robbers*
Robber 1, sweating in fear: A-and you were right to see the good in us.
_________________________________________
{Later}
Peter Parker: Mr Loki, did you have something to do with that?
Loki: What? Me? No. Your faith in those low-lives has motivate them to do the right thing.
Loki: Now let’s get some ice-cream, you deserve it :)
Peter Parker::)
