ENFP: I feel so lonely all the time. My mind keeps telling me I will die alone.

ENTP to INTJ: Dude we should do a types under quarantine post.

ENFP: I tell you something and you wanna make a meme about it? I’m leaving.

INTJ: Omg. Make this conversation into a post.

ENTP: It’s not a meme btw it’s a study!

INTJ apologizing after an argument:I’m sorry that me being right offended you.

INTJ apologizing for being late: I am so sorry, it’s completely my fault. I didn’t account for traffic and then I woke up late because I was an idiot and- *continues for five minutes*

Person: Awww, you’re so quiet! You don’t have to be shy

Intj, in their head: I’m not shy, I’m watching and listening so I can analyze your behavior and see if you’re worth my time.

Intj, out loud: I’m NoT SHy!

Person: Sure, sweetie. You’re so cute!!!

Intj: .-. I know how to murder you and get away with it.

Your asks were closed! What do you think about when you don’t have anything else to think about?

Well that explains a lot. I have no idea how that happened, but it’s fixed now.

Um… Hm… I don’t know. It depends on the day, to be honest, but usually I’m thinking about the future. Things that might happen, scenarios I wish would happen, problems that may come up and how to solve them. Things like that.

Ask that I messed up because my phone sucks:

Intj to Intj, what do you think about humanity?

Ha… Ha…

I think that humanity has great potential, if it could only get out of the cycle of selfishness and depravity that it finds itself currently stuck in.

In honor of 1,000 followers…

Ask me anything (that doesn’t jeopardize my physical security), and I shall answer. You now have free reign to get an INTJ to talk about their feelings, and I pledge to give actual, thought out, not sarcastic responses.

So uh… Yeah.

*grateful sputtering*

INTJ: Oh wow, I’m really attracted to this person. They seem nice and cool and interesting. I might really like them.

INTJ:…

INTJ: Time to go full Darcy and pretend I barely know of their existence, because that’s how you flirt, right?

INTJ: I am darkness. I am the night. The compassion I once possessed has shriveled away into nothingness, along with what used to be my cold, black heart.

ENFP: Yesterday you picked up three shopping carts in the parking lot and put them away. They weren’t even yours. They weren’t even near your car.

INTJ:I AM DARKNESS

To the people who have reposted my posts on Instagram:

I see them, and nothing inflates my ego more. I legit squealed for the first time in years because “OH MY GOD ENTP LOOK SOMEONE POSTED MY THING ON INSTAGRAM FLhogowowkLBOAPAKGL!!!!”

So uh… Yeah. Thanks for making my day. You’re awesome. You made this INTJ very happy.

Thank you for 900 followers!

I honestly never expected to get that many followers?? Thank you so much guys! I really appreciate each and every one of you.

Since 1000 followers is actually an achievable goal, I was thinking of doing a special thing to commemorate it when/if it happens.

Would you guys like to see:

A: Me answer a questionnaire? Some questions by you guys, some off a random pinterest questionnaire.

B: Post some of my art?

C: Other (face reveal not included, sorry guys)?

Lemme know!

*INTJ and ENTP are hanging out and a Thing™ happens, and someone shows genuine, unbridled heartbreak and starts sobbing*

INTJ:Repress, repress, repress

INTJ:Repress gosh darn it you’re not going to sympathy cry here.

INTJ: *tears up*

ENTP: Hah. Crybaby.

INTJ: Says the jerk who is also crying.

ENTP, with visible tears running down their face: I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Brought to you by a Thing™ that actually happened.

Thank you for 800 followers!

Good gosh why do you people like this trash??

Thank you very much for your support! I really appreciate it, and hope that I continue to make content that you guys enjoy.

INTJ: You know, maybe if I open up to someone, it won’t be so bad. Getting someone else’s insight on my emotions might be helpful, and possibly healthy. I’m going to go vent about the current inner turmoil I’m experiencing.

*Later, when INTJ has finished writing an essay on what’s going on in their head*

INTJ: And so that’s why I think I’m feeling this way.

Person: *either says “oof” or never responds*

INTJ:…

INTJ: Welp, that was useless.

INTJ, driving: Where are we going next?

ENTP: You choose.

INTJ: Meh. I don’t really care.

ENTP:INTJ.

INTJ:What?

ENTP: Pick somewhere.

INTJ: I. Don’t. Care.

ENTP:INTJ.

INTJ:You can’t make me care.

Both:…

INTJ: That was a very INTJ thing to say, wasn’t it?

ENTP:Yep.

ENTP and INTJ: *driving in a car*

INTJ: *thinking in their corner*

INTJ: I just came up with the perfect way to get away with murder.

ENTP: Oh my god, INTJ.

INTJ:…

ENTP: Are you gonna tell me or not???

*ENTP and INTJ at a park*

ENTP: Are those electrical wires on that pole exposed?

INTJ:… Yes?

ENTP:…

INTJ:…

ENTP: Imma go touch them and-

INTJ:No.

INTJ: Thinking is honestly just a scam at this point. It’s a hoax perpetuated by the teachers to make us do work.

ENTP: I thought I explained to everyone that I don’t have a brain to “think” with. Did I not make it clear enough?