#mentalhealthrecovery

day 500 : in recovery - kinda sucks that this one hurts worse than leftie’s surgery.
.
ethel (rightie) has been falling behind lately in that i can feel the stark difference between lucy’s (leftie’s) almost full sensation, and sometimes hypersensitivity, yet my entire r knee joint feels like it doesn’t exist in space and time, and the front of my shin is mostly numb to temperature and light touch.
.
going into this surgery i figured more nerve pain and such would be involved in this one. i’m at least grateful for the nerve pain since that means things are damaged, but still firing, right?
.
so currently feeling like my knee and incisions are balls of fire, and the nerve pain has been onnnnn itttttt since i woke up from anasthesia yesterday morning.
.
as always, medication makes me loopy af, so not fully with it, which is cool. gives me a tiny shelter from the cloud of depression for a bit. #endthestigma #mentalhealthrecovery
.
it has been 500 days of paralysis. it has not gotten any easier. but focusing as much as i can in the moment and not worrying about the past or future or planning as much has sure as hell helped me cope. remaining committed to following only what feels good has saved my mind and soul from the living nightmare that i call spinal cord injury.
.
i am looking forward to both knees recovering and feeling like new again so i can continue my physical therapy and reaching my one and only goal of being able to move better, stronger, faster, more agile, and more capable than before. i’ve been pining for your #trishstrong workout @acfit_4
.
nothing else will be acceptable for me.
.
#500daysofparalysis
.
.
.
#icansoiwill
#paralysissucks
#scirecovery
#dominoeffects
#takecareofyourdamnbody
#walkingparaplegic
#bionicbadass
#dothehardstuff
#incompleteparaplegic
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#disabledandcute
#coldtoes

https://www.instagram.com/p/BqNCS98BShB/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rnq6r6qtdvhf

While there may be truth in the saying that money doesn’t buy happiness but at least you can choose your misery, we need to consider if we really want to be choosing our misery or experiencing happiness?

It all starts out with good intent.

Earn some money to improve your quality of life, or create a home environment that is welcoming and comfortable for those you love, and hopefully in the process, feel appreciated for your efforts.

But what happens when that appreciation is not as forthcoming as you need it to be?

Sometimes, we look for that appreciation in a specific shape and form, and if it doesn’t appear in exactly that way, we assume that we’re not appreciated.

That’s when our relationships become transactional as we start comparing who does how much to maintain the standard of living that we’ve grown accustomed to, while dismissing the efforts and intentions of the one doing all that.

Valuing yourself comes before any expectation or need to be valued by others. If you don’t value yourself, you’ll look for that validation or appreciation to be served up in a specific way by others, thereby holding them accountable for how you feel about yourself.

That’s how you end up having a life full of things, but a heart that lacks contentment.

It always starts with you. You teach others what is important to you by how you treat them.

And when you value yourself, you’ll realise that when others don’t value you, it’s because they’re struggling with their own self-worth and not because they don’t appreciate you or your efforts in their life.

Own your life, and your emotional wellbeing will take care of itself.

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CU9N5LzqUKJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

Arrogance is the belief that we’re better…humility visits us when we realise that we’re not.

The root of arrogance is insecurity, but that’s a discussion for another day.

If we’re sincere about wanting to benefit others or wanting to create good for those around us, when we get it wrong and we’re corrected, we’ll appreciate it.

In such cases, we’ll eat gratitude pie, not humble pie, right?

So, when it feels like we’ve been made to eat humble pie, we need to consider what our intention was behind what we did before we got things wrong.

On the surface, our intentions always appear noble.

But it’s that appearance of nobility that distracts is from sincerity.

When connecting with or checking your intention, be sure to dig deeper than what you experienced in that moment.

It’s only when we connect with our intention, our true intention, that we’ll be able to recognise how others are not deliberately malicious or selfish in their actions.

Instead, it will allow us to connect with empathy to the emotional needs that they have.

That’s how we break cycles of unhealthy behaviours.

Perhaps if we eat more humble pie we’ll discover gratitude?

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CU6lJgEKWNP/?utm_medium=tumblr

Sometimes, we’re so focused on reacting to the disrespect that we receive from others that we don’t realise how we give up our self-respect in the process.

If we continue in reaction mode for long enough, we’ll find ourselves not only returning the favour by treating them the way that they treat us, but we’ll also find ourselves blaming them for our response.

That’s when we go beyond losing our self-respect and we begin losing ourselves completely.

Strangely though, we’re unlikely to do this with everyone.

We’ll often encounter total strangers or mere acquaintances who will treat us badly, but we’ll ignore them and continue focusing on what is important to us.

Therefore, the answer lies in how much significance we place in those relationships to which we lose ourselves.

The more significant that we want to be in their lives, the more we’ll convince ourselves about their significance in ours. That’s how we become emotionally invested in being treated with respect by them.

The less respect we receive, the more intense our emotional experience, resulting in us fighting fire with fire. In other words, giving them a taste of their own medicine.

That’s when respect becomes optional. When we convince ourselves that treating others the way that they treat us is in fact justice, when the truth is that it is returning their bitterness with our bitterness towards them.

That’s how we give up the good of who we are.

The greatest tragedy in all of this is that when we lose ourselves, we also lose sight of the struggles, or the low self-esteem that they’re experiencing which causes them to treat us badly.

Instead of breaking that cycle, we feed it, and in the process, harm ourselves as much as we believed they were harming us.

When respect becomes optional based on how we’re treated by others, we give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves.

To whom are you giving your power today?

#selfworth #selfawareness #ownyourlife #selfmastery #mindfulness #personalpower #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CU4HS3jKi4z/?utm_medium=tumblr

We don’t judge around here. We only offer sincere advice and upliftment.

Making a good cup of tea could save your marriage, that’s why I also offer marriage counselling.

Hope you connect with the lighter side of life today.

#tea #rooibos #humour #lightersideoflife #marriageadvice #marriage #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUwQrliKSjw/?utm_medium=tumblr

Godliness, like humility, is lost the moment we lay claim to it.

It is something that we may exhibit in our conduct or demeanour, but not something that we can directly claim.

It is our ability to manifest the attributes of the divine in our character and in our treatment of others without wanting to appear pious or godly in our approach.

The need to claim such attributes of godliness reflects the insecurity that we feel about our standing among those around us.

The moment we’re focused on how we appear to others, we begin to lose ourselves to their validation.

Similarly, the moment we claim godliness, we lose ourselves to arrogance.

And arrogance is only required to compensate for our insecurities. It is a mask to hide our shame, or to claim our needs because we believe that we’re not significant enough for others to want to care about what we need from them.

That’s why we take, instead of waiting to be offered. Or why we insult or demean rather than advising sincerely.

It’s all a means towards demanding that our virtues be acknowledged because we feel unappreciated by those we care about the most.

If you don’t appreciate who you are, in the absence of validation from others, how can you expect others to appreciate you?

Gratitude begets sincerity, and sincerity fosters brotherhood. Or sisterhood. And claiming divinity or godliness has no place at all.

#compassion #sincerity #authenticity #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #selfworth #selflove #selfawareness #selfrespect #mindfulness #inspiration #ownyourlife #theegosystem #forgiveness #rewards #lifecoaching #zaidismail (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUtvci-KRUL/?utm_medium=tumblr

The logic of this is quite obvious, yet we do it, don’t we?

Sometimes we find it difficult to apologise because we’re afraid that others will think less of us. It feels like a weakness. So we protect ourselves from appearing weak.

At other times, we find it difficult to apologise because we feel unappreciated. So our offensive behaviour was our way of getting justice for having been treated badly or taken for granted.

The same reasons that would drive our resistance to admitting fault is what drives others to avoid doing right by us.

Problems arise when we lose sight of why we expect that much more from them, or worse, why we may be holding them to a standard that is unfair to who they are.

Sometimes we grow tired of being taken for granted at home, so we lash out at hints of being taken for granted at work. And vice versa.

Similarly, when our parents may have treated us as insignificant, we end up lashing out at our partners because we fear growing insignificant with them as well.

That’s how we do the right thing for the wrong reasons. Or why we find it difficult to do the right thing when we know better.

We complicate life when we lose sight of what we’re dealing with in the moment because we don’t realise that we’re waiting for justice about something that is long gone and forgotten, or unrelated to who we’re with now. .

Invest in your past, or invest in your present. The choice you make is what determines what you’re investing in your future.

Emotional mindfulness is key to creating a fulfilled life.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism #purpose (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUrJUz1q9aK/?utm_medium=tumblr

The irony of helping others out of the dark spaces in their lives is that when they emerge, they’re often inclined to avoid you because you remind them of a time when they were weak.

When we believe that such weakness is deplorable, we remain weak.

When we view ourselves through the lens of weak versus strong, good versus bad, and so on, we are judging ourselves and others, rather than trying to understand what got us into such states.

There is a time and a place for judgement. But that time and place is only when we need to stop an oppression from taking place.

Beyond that moment, we must focus on understanding the human struggle behind that behaviour, or else we diminish the struggle of the one who behaved badly, giving them ever more reason to continue behaving badly. Or worse.

Gratitude for our moments of weakness is not possible if we still carry a sense of shame about our weakened state.

It’s one thing to regret what we did and to put in the effort to make up for it. But it’s not the same as carrying shame within us that we need to hide from the world.

That need to hide our shame from the world is how we judge ourselves harshly and then look for evidence of others judging us.

That’s often the reason for our defensiveness or aggression in response to any mention of what we once did wrong.

When you find yourself judging yourself or others harshly, it means that you have yet to appreciate the reasons for your weakness or have yet to connect with your humanness.

You’ll only allow others to be human when you believe that you’re allowed to be human.

Right there is the path to peace in your life.

#hope #expectation #sincerity #selfworth #selfawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #theegosystem #ownyourlife #lifecoaching #zaidismail #loveyourself #lifegoals #motivation #optimism (at The Egosystem)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CUbzy9AKpC2/?utm_medium=tumblr