Summary: Gwen Stacy’s best friend is dead. Besides her grief, Gwen has a chance to change her destiny saving Peter.
A/N: Thinking about this since a long ago. I don’t know how many parts is gonna have, just hope it doesn’t suck way too much.
Warnings: idk, this may be pure crap.
Two months. It’s been two months since he died. Twenty minutes before it happened, Gwen Stacy waved him goodbye after their study-date for an important chem exam they were having by the end of the week. Peter Parker crossed the street and turned back to smile at her once more. He wanted a way much more affectionate goodbye but never got the guts to confess to her the way he felt. She knew it anyway because Peter was everything but good keeping secrets. At least, that’s what they all thought.
In two months Ned and Gwen haven’t left Aunt May’s apartment. The woman lost her husband not so long ago, and now her beloved nephew was gone too. Peter made her life meaningful, she repeated on and on, but now everything was nonsense. May didn’t want to be alone and Peter’s best friends didn’t want to let her on her own. Harry Osborn was extremely generous with May, who was in a delicate situation. She got a couple of days off of work that soon became a couple of weeks and then a couple of months. The hospital was going through a financial crisis and couldn’t pay her salary if she couldn’t cover her guards. Harry paid for Peter’s funeral as well. Mary Jane says he does it because he feels guilty. Gwen didn’t know what to think about. Ned never trusted him but was too devastated to think of another thing but Peter and the fact he will never see his best friend again.
Mary Jane and Gwen never talked about Peter. They accorded it a long ago, the two girls were afraid of ruining their friendship if they open up about their feelings for him. Deep inside Gwen thought MJ played with Peter’s feelings for too long, and MJ thought Gwen was way too friendly with her ex-boyfriend. Losing him wasn’t helpful. Bitterness filled them hearts. “If she didn’t give him false hopes maybe Peter would move on”.
“You know this is not good for you Gwen. You need to come clean about how you feel”. Aunt May is a wise person and Gwen knows it, but she was scared and sad and didn’t have the strength to face a fight, not with Mary Jane, or anyone, to be honest. She only wanted to see him once again. It was impossible. Not even in her dreams. May dreamed with Peter once. Ned did a couple of times and remembered him all of the time. Gwen started to forget his face, just two months after he left. She stopped at the framed pictures of him in the apartment and stayed looking at them trying to keep fresh the image of a smiling Peter, or a dork Peter, or a serious Peter. Not the last image of him, not the image of his face covered with bruises, his bleeding mouth, his broken nose. She wanted that smiling Peter back, she needed him.
She went back to where they find him. Spiderman. No mask, tho. Peter Parker. Far from looking like the nice boy from Midtown High. She couldn’t believe it. It makes so much sense now, how many times he risked his own life to save her dad, only getting the police persecution in return. Captain Stacy found him just a couple of blocks away from his own house. He prayed for his daughter to be home, he prayed for her do not see her friend is such state. But destiny is cruel and karma is a bitch. How many times Captain George Stacy cursed on Spiderman’s name in front of Peter and Gwen? Spiderman was Peter Parker. He hated Spiderman but liked Peter far enough to call him son one day in the future. If Gwen has had arrived in her house a couple of minutes before, if she wouldn’t forget her textbooks at the library, maybe she wouldn’t have seen the crime scene, maybe her last memory of him would be he smiling at her from across the street. Not his body surrounded by a pool of his own blood, not his beaten and swollen face.
A tear started rolling down her cheek.Gwen pressed shut her eyes and took a deep breath, wishing it be her last breath. She never thought she would feel this way, but the weight of her loss was way too heavy to carry on.
“Stacy? What are you doing here?” the voice came from behind the trash dump placed at one corner of the alley. She would recognize that voice anywhere, anytime. No, it is not possible, you’re starting to have hallucinations, you got to get out of here Gwen, get your shit together. “Pss, Gwen, I’m here, behind the trash”. Scared the shit out of herself, Gwen started running in the opposite direction, heading to her parent’s house, five blocks away from that goddam alley.
“Oh, hi sweetheart” her mom greeted her from the kitchen. “What happened? you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she stated once she saw the petrified expression on Gwen’s face. “P-Pe-Peter, mom, I saw Peter”. Mrs. Stacy gave her daughter a confused sight. “Okay Gwen, Peter may be a little paler than others but he’s not a ghost” she joked and turned back to the kitchen. “He came here, by the way. Said something about the exam you have this Friday and left”.
“What you mean by he was here talking about the exam, mom what the fuck!?”
“Language, Miss”.
“Mom if this is one of your jokes, I swear… it’s not funny”.
“No Gwen, why would it be a joke? He was looking for you but you weren’t here and he left because he’s doing the grocery shopping for May. He’s such a sweet and considerate boy. Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy, God knows if you don’t care enough about him another girl will”.
“I don’ feel fine, I’d better go upstairs”.
“Hi Gwen”.
Mrs. Stacy heard her daughter screaming, and make her way upstairs to check if everything was alright.
“Gwen, hija, is everything okay?” Mrs. Stacy asked behind the door. Pressed on the other side, Gwen replied to her mother: “It’s okay ma, it’s just, I, I saw a spider. But it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s not here anymore”.
“Oh, Gwendolyn, for god’s sake you’re eighteen years old, kill the fucking bug”. Mrs. Stacy leaves, shaking her head in disbelief.
“W-what are you doing here!? I thought, I … no, it’s not possible. You’re dead!”
“Yeah, kind of. C’mon babe, help me with these” his face was muddy with dirt and blood. He came closer, putting his hands on her waist and her hips. Gwen, petrified by what she was experiencing, didn’t react to his actions. Not even when he makes the distance between their lips disappear, pecking hers softly, avoiding to add too much pressure to his swollen and bleeding lips.
“What the fuck was that gorgeous?” Peter asked his girlfriend. His eyes traveled from her lips to find her confused sight. “I mean, it wasn’t explicit but I was asking you for some help in the alley” he chuckled, amused by the inexplicable panic expression on Gwen’s face.
“Peter… you’re Spiderman”.
“Uh-huh, yeah, until last time I checked. Are you fine Gwen? Did you hit your head or something?”
“What, when … how have this happened!? Peter think about May! You’re everything to her”.
“Wow, Stacy, chill dude. I’m fine, May’s fine. This… this is the correct thing to do. But now, hand me those pieces of clothing you’ve been stealing from me before your mom enters without knocking the door and sees me with the suit on. Unless you want me to stay without clothes, I wouldn’t complain”.
“Peter! What the fuck, no, stop”. Gwen covered her eyes with her hands when Peter started to take off the Spiderman suit. He laughed at her reaction. It wasn’t the first time he did that in front of her, and he had his underwear on, she definitely had seen him fully naked before. Gwen was acting weird he thought, but it was fun.
“Peter, my mother can’t see you, you have to leave now”.
“Shit, you’re right, I came for you like forty minutes ago, there’s no way I could make my way upstairs without her to notice… That’s why I love you, always thinking about everything”. Peter kissed Gwen once more, this time he didn’t care about his injured face. He grabbed his own clothes from Gwen’s closet and dressed up quickly. “Remember we have this meeting with Mr. Fury in a couple of ours, that’s why I came here in the first place. But is not something I can tell your mom. I mean Hey Mrs. Stacy, can Gwen come with me to an Avengers meeting, nothing serious, just saving New York from another alien invasion, and maybe dick her down at the Avengers tower after that. Ha, I don’t think so. I’ll pick you up at 11. Suit up”.
Suit up? Avengers Tower? DICK HER DOWN!?
“Gweeeeen, MJ is here”.
“It’s okay Elena, I can go upstairs, she must have the headphones on”.
“Fine Chelle, just tell your friend dinner’s on 15 minutes”.
“I’ll do Mrs. Stacy. And thanks again for the invitation”.
Michelle made her way upstairs, always the same, admiring the paintings hanged on the walls. Mrs. Stacy is such a talented artist, how lame it is she secludes herself in her housewife role. Gwen’s room door was partially open, so she entered without knocking.
“Hey, take those off you dumbass” Michelle said playfully kicking her friend who was lying on the floor. As she guessed, Gwen got her headphones on.
“What the f…” Gwen turned around to find a very changed, almost unrecognizable MJ. Gwen sat up and then stand in front of her friend, examining her with curious eyes.
“Mary Jane, what did you do with your hair!?”
“Uh ehrm, I know my hair looks like shit but what the fuck happens to you!? You missed the rehearsal. Gwen if you keep doing this to us we’ll have to find someone else”.
“Rehearsal!? Mary Jane what are you talking about!? All this is so weird. I just saw Peter, he, he came through the window and then left” And he kissed me she thought, but didn’t get the guts to tell MJ.
“Gwen you’re starting to scare me. Okay, Pete came through the window and that’s creepy but he’s Spiderman so, we must get used to it. And yes, this is the third rehearsal you skip. I know you are busy with your superhuman duties and everything but if this is too much for you, we gotta talk about it for what is best for the band”. Michelle tried to calm her friend down, but with every word, Gwen’s confusion grew more and more.
What did she mean with superhuman duties? And since when she knew Peter was Spiderman!? And she didn’t seem surprised or mad at the fact her ex-boyfriend entered her best friend’s room by the window. In fact, she stated it was a common thing. Does Peter visit her in the same way? Does he has clothes in her closet and passionately kiss her before leaving her bedroom by the window? Gwen felt a blinding headache, and the next thing she knew was she collapsed on her bedroom’s floor.
“Yeah, I don’t think she can make it to the meeting tonight. She seems very confused and keeps calling me Mary Jane, I know, weird as fuck. So that’s all Petey, I’ll call you again if we have some news. Good luck with your business. Bye”.
“Oh, look at you Sleeping Beauty. Your charming prince isn’t here yet but he’ll come after the Avengers reunion”.
“Where am I!? Mary Jane!?” Gwen woke up from her little nap in a hospital’s bed. The bright whiteness of the room hurt her eyes, he tried to sit up but her blurred vision and shaking moves told her to stay lay down.
Michelle looked at her friend with preoccupied eyes. “Seriously Gwen, enough with that Mary Jane shit. I’m Michelle, Michelle Jones, your best friend. Remember me?”.
“Michelle Jones?” Gwen mumbled before blacking out again.
“Is she going to be fine?” Peter asked, really worried about his girlfriend state.
“Sure Peter-Man, there’s nothing to be worried about. Stacy’s gonna be fine”.
“Thanks, Mr. Stark. I-I really appreciate what you’re doing for us”. Peter turned his sight to his unconscious girlfriend and Dr. Stephen Strange, placed on the other side of the room stated that she was going to wake up soon.
“Peter, I think you should go and help May comforting her parents. Stephen and I have to talk with Gwendolyn and how weird it would be for George and Elena to find us here? Go, kid.” Peter nodded and did what Tony Stark asked him to do.
“He doesn’t have a clue of what it’s happening,” Tony said with a bit of sadness in his tone.
“Neither she”. Strange examine Gwen’s lost sight. She was still very shocked about everything but started to imagine what was happening. Dr. Stephen Strange presence was only confirming her doubts. But, how?
“Gwen, can you hear us?” Tony grabbed her hand in a fatherly way. He was as worried as Peter, maybe even more. He felt responsible for his web-slingers. May wanted to kill him already, he didn’t want Mr. and Mrs. Stacy to hate him too. “May we have a word?”.
Gwen sat up abruptly. “All this is so weird. I, I want to see Peter, please Mr. Stark”.
“You’ll see our spider friend later. Now we need to talk about what happened in that alley Miss Stacy” Dr. Strange was intimidating, he wanted to go straight to the point. How this Gwen Stacy appeared in this universe and what happened with Spider-Gwen. “You aren’t the Gwen Stacy we know”.
“What are you talking about. Of course, I’m not, I don’t know you”. Gwen felt tired and dizzy, her vision started to get blurry again.
“Calm down Gwen, we know this is too much for you right now, but we need you to tell us why are you here. If you don’t know how did you traveled to this universe at least can you tell us what is happening around there in yours”. Tony was playing the ‘good cop’, trying to gain her trust.
“I don’t know how it happened” Gwen sobbed, memories from the last weeks fill her mind and overwhelmed her spirit. “I stopped by the crime scene on my way home. In my head I recreated the facts, Peter lying dead on his Spiderman suit. Mask off. Surrounded by forensics, my dad was there too”.
“Peter what?!” Tony freaked out, started walking around the white room as a caught lion. When did this happen Gwen? A date, we need the date” he screamed.
“Easy Stark. October 20th. Five blocks away from Gwen’s house”. Stephen gave her a sympathetic smile.”I brought you here”.
“What the hell Strange!?” Tony grabbed Stephen’s shoulders and shook him.
“I’m not entirely sure about it, but someone exchanged our Gwendolyn Stacy, the one with spider powers, for this one. The Gwen Stacy from another universe where Peter Parker is dead”.
“Peter’s okay here, he’s alive, he’s protected by you. I, I don’t have superpowers”. Gwen’s headache and tiredness barely allowed her to keep talking.
“That is another thing I’m not sure about” Strange found Gwen’s phone on the bedside table and made it levitate high enough to guarantee it wouldn’t survive to the fall. Gwen caught it with a web shot.
“Gen Z, you can threaten them with killing their smartphones or their parents and they wouldn’t hesitate”. Strange smirked. “Now we know you have powers, at least since you arrived in this universe”.
“Okay, now I’m as confused as her, Strange. Can you explain what is happening?”
“Peter’s gonna die in a month unless we do something to avoid it. And for some reason, I think the only person who can save him from his destiny is this young lady”.
“October 20th” Tony mumbled, realizing it was, in fact, a couple of weeks to go until Peter’s death date.
“You have to return to your universe Gwen, but first we need to make sure your powers are traveling with you this time”. Those were the last words Gwen heard from Dr. Strange before her eyes fluttered shut once more.
Ned gives Peter’s # to MJ. Either he is the greatest wing-man in the world or she asked for it for her own agenda (but most likely the latter as this takes place during Homecoming since the love line with Liz is still there)
MJ offers to share notes with Peter to help him
MJ possibly talking to Harrington to keep Peter from getting kicked out
Peter and MJ had a meetup with just the two of them since she doesn’t reference anyone else waiting with her
She’s always looking out for him like a good friend
Peter butt dials her “every other day” and leaves confusing voicemails even during his patrols and she’s worried
Goes from “Do you need help?” to “Guess what happened in class today”
They eventually have a barter system: notes = 2 (fresh) churros
She says it’s weird to leave voicemails but she can’t stop asking him mundane things via voicemail instead of texting asdjsdf
What would I give to hear Peter’s voicemails to her
if u cant tell by now… i really love michelle jones. i really love her so much. her character is so personal to me so i’m not even gonna pretend this has the pretense of being unbiased because i’m not. i’m so so not. this is just a long ass love letter to her character
MJ was made to be this relatable figure in peter parker’s life, despite the history and importance of the character’s legacy in the comics and it just means so much to me. it really does.
first of all, i want to talk about how smart she is. i love how she’s smart but she’s not an unrealistic genius. she knows weird interesting facts about everything because she’s naturally inquisitive about things and i love that. i actually learned new and interesting things about europe that i never would have found out on my own, because of mj. i love her sm.
and i love that there’s basis for it in her character too. like she knows for a fact that she’s not like everyone else and she owns it and she knows that there’s more than meets the eye on everything and so she’s just devoted to looking deeper into things than most people and i just- i just love that sm, ok???
she doesn’t care about superficial surface level bs and cares more about what’s deep and hidden, the stuff that no one dares to look at or find out. maybe because… that’s her. she’s the one that most people don’t bother getting to know because she’s weird. so if she’s weird then it makes sense she’s interested in finding out weird things about everything else too (cough peter cough)
and so i love how it just makes so much sense why mj would like peter parker.
i don’t read the comics so i wouldn’t dare to say what i know about their relationship is right, but from what i do know, it was just a natural progression from friends to couple. they stuck by each other thru thick and thin and that’s how they got together. they spent time together and eventually, boom. it makes sense. however… peter and mj from the comics were two almost completely different people in different social circles and kinda unrealistic, i’m sorry. i get that’s the appeal, opposites attract and all.
but the inquisitive loner mj is the exactly right person to give a crap about the suspicious comings and goings of one kind dorky peter parker and i guess i just love it when movies be realistic and relatable like that
and now let’s talk about mj and her walls. it’s probably the most relatable aspect of her, for me, so far. it’s hard not getting to tell someone you care about how much you care about them. that you feel a need to bury your affection for them under layers of weird so it isn’t even obvious that you care about them.
i still love how ffh recontextualized mj’s actions in hoco because… i can literally say that’s me. not daring to make an action towards someone you care about unless it can be construed as something else?? plus she’s awkward n doesn’t know how to talk to people and tbh saammee?? sighhh mj, man.
also can i just talk about howzendayaknows that the big thing about mj and peter’s relationship is that peter like mj for who she is and that mj shouldn’t have to change things about herself. and how much everybody is responding to that exact same thing about their relationship. i just love how zendaya knows what’s important about her character and the relationships that she has. she knows what we, the fans, care about because she cares about mj same way we do.
and lastly, which is kind of a small thing but i haven’t seen anyone talk about it so i really wanna mention it cus i love it sm. mj is just so subtle. she doesn’t have this big brazen intense distinctive HEY IM WEIRD IM THE WEIRD GIRL personality, no she doesn’t. the stuff she does is just very natural to me. she’s awkward, knows weird stuff, and talks about it. and she’s still a normal girl who has crushes and walls and vulnerabilities. she’s just a very normal realistically weird flawed human character and i love her for it.
and more on her subtlety… I LOVE HOW SHE’S NOT CONFRONTATIONAL, SHE’S INTELLIGENT AND ~subtly~ CAPABLE OF MANIPULATING A SITUATION TO HER BENEFIT
the plane scene with flash means so much to me because she doesn’t tell flash to fuck off or tell him to stop making fun of peter or stand up for peter. no, she just subtly gets rid of flash without making too big a scene. she doesn’t make a big deal that she’s standing up for peter, she gets rid of flash then subtly lets peter know she’s got his back. I.CON.IC
and then, her takedown of brad… HER TAKE DOWN OF BRAD. she lets brad say his piece and even “agrees” with him so that he wouldn’t talk back only for her to switch the lights on him. so that he’s the one under investigation now, not peter. i just- i love how mj can do so much with so little. she is so sly and smooth and suave and she knows what people pay attention to and what they don’t so she’s capable of manipulating them to achieve a goal without anyone being the wiser.
i just love mj sm, she’s realistically relatably understandably smart and weird, she’s funny in a dorky kind of way (“IF YOU SAVED US ALL, THEN WHY ARE WE ABOUT TO DIE?!?!” <- dis line was hilarious, i hate ppl for not talking more about it), and her actions are so subtle and so easy to miss that i appreciate them so much more that way.
gods, i love this girl
look at dis cutie who saw a buncha crabs by a wooden post, thought it was cool, decides to take pictures of it, and is rlly happy to be sharing this moment with the dork she likes. how can i not love this girl?
1.She has no filter and deadpans. If you like Tony Stark, real bold of you to have a problem with this specific trait of hers
2.She doesn’t have any friends. Hardly gets more relatable
3.She is so observant that she knows Peter is Spider-Man. While nobody has it figured out. Not even Ned had it figured out. And yet she also says nothing. A clever and caring woman
4.She loves reading so much that she does it during PE class. Aren’t you lowkey a nerd who’d rather be reading than running laps at the gym? So is she
5.She doesn’t read just any books. ‘Of Human Bondage’ is about an orphan who has to live with his aunt and uncle and also falls in love with a girl that doesn’t always reciprocate his feelings. Reminds you of someone? Then later in the bus: ‘Invitation to a beholden’, is the story of a man who gets imprisoned and is unable to blend in the society he lives in because he is gnostic. So 1. She wants to know how Peter feels 2. She doesn’t feel like she blends in the society she lives in
6. “Am I?”. Think about it. Is she?
7.Her looks say “screw your idea of what is “well dressed” and pretty”. She will look however tf she wants. No makeup at 15 yo is absolute realistic even if society stays lowering the age at which you should start looking like a doll
8.Her purple hair streak. Why purple? Is it her favorite color? Does it mean something specific to her? Was it an attempt from her to get noticed by her classmates without it being too obvious?
9.She wanted to/did some light protesting in front of one of the embassies in DC. At 15 yo. Jot it down
10.She made the acadec team win the competition. We don’t see her answer questions be it at school or during the trip but clearly she has the brains to be successful by putting little to no efforts into training
11.She made the acadec team win and yet she didn’t claim the trophy. Too shy or too humble, or both
12.She is a character needed in our time, a SJW trademark. She has a moral code and principles and is socially aware. Fanboys are triggered. Note that while everyone ended up being in danger, respecting her ancestors is what made her able to stay on the ground, safe
13.“MY FRIENDS ARE UP THERE!” I thought you didn’t have any friends? So you do have feelings. And now I am soft and want to protect you at all cost
[Deleted footage entirely: NOBODY came to pick her up after they got back from DC. Why? And who do I have to fight for being awful parents and why are they awful? What is her family like etc?]
14.She goes to detention to “sketch people in crisis”. But only when Peter is there, it seems. Could it also be because she doesn’t want to go home anyways? And if so why?
15.She can draw. Talent
16.Sketching Peter’s sad detentioned ass and showing him. I want to know where the audacity stops
17.The middle finger. Enough said
18.She was appointed new captain of the decathlon team. See point 8. She is clever as hell, it’s canon
19.The look Peter gave her. We love foreshadowing
20.“My friends call me ‘MJ’. However way you feel about this reveal, big or not, disappointing or not, it was well done
21.“I didn’t.” [Have any friends]. From "I don’t have any friends” to “I didn’t”. She has come full circle
22.Point 21 makes you realize that she had a mini arc of her own that was not centered around Peter and her evil dad. I certainly wish it had been Liz’s case
23.“What are you hiding, Peter? Just kidding, I don’t care, bye”. But the look she gave to Peter right after? We love foreshadowing
24.She is a gift to meta culture. I wrote all of this based on roughly 3 mins screen time tops with deleted scenes and non included footage
Btw see this is how you hype a character you like. Coming up with original shit and metas and fics and fanarts. Running down a character you dislike does nothing, shocker
25.She is gorgeous. Yes that is a valid reason, y'all implicitly pull it with white characters all time & it is really hilarious she was supposed to not be attractive. One of the most unrealistic thing in this movie
And ultimately, because she is 'MJ’. Had she been white and a red hair, big silence about how “it’s just because” since y'all would have decided that as SUCH a lore character, she’d have been deserving of support. Lots of screen time or not. Why can’t y'all do the same thing here? Is why “it’s because it’s Zendaya” is going to lowkey be a thing, indeed. Deny it all you want, we know this is a matter of race. She still is and was racially attacked the day the news of her casting dropped, while she is an amazing talent that had been looking for a movie role and did what she had to do to get cast before she even left the room. Tom Holland’s words, not mine. She auditioned for this role, you didn’t. She got it and conveyed all of the above in 2 mins and 57 seconds. Michelle is a breath of fresh air both in her characterisation and interpretation of a female character and a love interest and that is why she was so instantly loved. We love not only one but two icons. Let it be known
Summary: After spending the summer getting over your high school sweetheart, it’s time for new beginnings. What else is college for?
AN: I started working on this before Halsey dropped Manic and when I heard ‘I HATE EVERYBODY’ I was like “okay this matches the vibe of the story in a lot of ways” so lets hope I can make that obvious
You stood in front of Peter’s dorm room, heart thumping. You were face-to-face with the blocky and rather boring exterior of his door, though aside from the minimal amount of, well, anything, you felt a tremendous amount of heaviness in your chest. Still, you couldn’t help but notice how plain his door was, just in contrast to the others in the hall. There was hardly anything on it except for a small dry erase board. On it, in slightly uneven and overly blocky letters wrote, ‘Ned & Peter’s room’. Good Lord, they could use some re-decorating.
And you were standing there for a not-so-bad reason. As far as bad reasons go.
Because for some reason, up until practically 2:00AM you could not, for the life of you, get yourself to send the text to Peter telling him to meet you. It felt near impossible after all the crap you’d put him through, first the ghosting and… Well, that was it, but it was not fun to be ghosted. You knew all the thoughts that could swarm through your mind when it happened, hell, it could be worse than awful.
So maybe trying to make this up would work. Michelle said he wasn’t likely to take it out on you. Whatever that meant, though her advice tended to be sounder than most others. That was about as far as that conversation went, even when you pressed her for more information. But she didn’t budge. Said it was better for you to find out yourself. In person.
So that’s what you were doing. Or starting to do. At 2:15AM last night.
Writing a letter to Peter about some of what had been going on: the awkward feelings, family shit you’d put away for such a long time, you never thought it’d be a problem. How it was your fault and you were sorry, but thought it’d be good to talk it out. Maybe make it up to him. You could talk to Peter, right?
Of course, this was all entirely condensed after about forty minutes of rewriting and crumbling up pieces of paper out of the back of your biology notebook. All the notes were online, anyway.
And it went something like this:
Hey Peter, I want to start out this message with an apology. I’ve been acting really weird lately, I know. It’s just some personal stuff I’ve been trying to deal with, and while it doesn’t involve you, it’s been affecting how I think about you.
If possible, I’d like to start things over again. Explain to you what’s been going on, and maybe we can talk over The Hobbit, pt. 2, even though I know you said it’s 'nothing like the Lord of the Rings’. Text me if you’d be down. Please don’t be mad. Y/n
Okay, so not too bad… Right?
You slipped the note underneath his door, hoping that this archaic version of communication was a better choice than texting. It was sort of romantic, wasn’t it? Not that it necessarily needed to be, just that it added a bit of a personal touch. Showed you actually cared about making it up to him.
Once the note was under the door, you didn’t hesitate to head back down the hall back to you room. It was already awkward enough for your to watch people read your notes, and even more so just at the thought of Peter reading your letter at all.
The door behind you couldn’t slam shut fast enough. You went straight to your desk and opened your biology textbook to the chapter reading from last class. But despite your incessant staring at the charts of taxonomic rank and skimming through the paragraphs, your mind was hardly processing the information you read.
—
Peter’s hand fidgeted on the edge of the study table, fitting the intensity of his burning stare into the cold tile floor. He wasn’t in his room, he was in the science building on the other side of campus. He honestly felt a bit odd coming back to his dorm room on the daily when a pretty big aspect of his reason for being social there was practically nonexistent for the time being.
He didn’t count himself as the type to avoid things, at least not on purpose. But oftentimes he knew he could get anxious when thinking about about confrontations. And right now, his anxiety was through the roof, causing his leg to continuously shake as he stood, leaned up against one of the tables in a study room.
MJ was there, too, watching calmly from her chair as her friend Peter turn into what was basically the definition of a 'nervous wreck.’ The whiteboard was scribbled all over from him and MJ’s study session—while she wasn’t studying science, general education classes were a pain in the ass for her. She had apparently decided on the exact math that she found out all too late she didn’t have the brain for. Physics. In other words, she’d slept through the first two weeks not understanding the fundamentals of the class until it was past the drop class deadline.
So when Peter had asked her, just out of the blue one day, if she needed help with studying for any classes, the answer was obvious—Abso-fucking-lutely.
But it was obvious he was no longer focusing on the lesson, and for all his efforts in trying to illustrate the algebraic equations on a giant board that seemed to just as equally match her sense of dread for the next quiz, it was clear he was bombing it in his personal life. And not in the good way.
“Okay, buddy. Talk.” MJ decided this was better to get it over with.
Peter let out a long breath, hands moving to clasp in his lap while his leg stayed in motion. “It’s kind of a weird, long story.”
When she gave him a look of unmistakable dry sarcasm, he sighed. “Okay, so the other day I was doing my usual business, like not business, but you know, uh, like as—” he made a web-slinging hand, “—and there were these guys that were in an alleyway and I was on the roof of Brownstone with Cindy and—”
MJ looked at him with a frown as she interjected, “Okay, whoa, slow down. First, I meant 'talk’ as in not driving yourself insane. You’re almost making me have anxiety, and second, you mean Cindy from high school?”
He nodded. “Yeah, and these guys were trailing y/n, so I was going after them, and I fought this guy with a knife—”
“That explains the bandage,” she noted with a nod towards his taped-up hand. She’d been wondering about that.
“Right, yes,” Peter acknowledged then continued, “And… Okay, so I followed her and I fought a guy with a knife, but then the guy with the knife had friends, so I got her out of there, and we were back in her apartment and she told me not to leave cause of my hand, so I didn’t, and basically I think she said she liked me, but then also kissed me, but like, not me, and I honestly just have no clue what’s going on since she hasn’t been talking to me.” He finally finished with a deep breath.
MJ took a second to process that information before she nodded nonchalantly. “Yup. Sounds about right.”
He ran both hands over his face slowly. “Michelle, I’m just not too sure—”
“Don’t call me Michelle,” she said seriously.
“Okay, uh… MJ?” That name sounded weird to say, too.
She paused before responding. That was weird for her to hear as well. “No, you’re right just say Michelle. I’m also half bullshitting you. Sorry, continue.”
Peter bit his cheek. “I’m just not too sure if I’m just crazy for still liking her, or if this just shouldn’t work out…” He looked to her for help as his voice trailed off.
She stared at him curiously. “Why do you say 'shouldn’t?” “Because…” He hesitated. “Maybe this is just… Too much to work out?” “Which part? The whole Spider-man thing, or you guys not talking?” “Both.” “Peter,” MJ started, “You’ve known her for how long?” “Uh… I don’t know. Since last fall.” “Right. And when did these issues start coming up?” She looked at him with a piercing gaze.
He fidgeted slightly under it. “A few weeks ago… I think.” “Uh huh. It’s been about a month, don’t worry, and a month is a long time to be in conflict with someone,” Michelle said sympathetically. “And aside from the fact that I’ve known her since freshman year and she’s my roommate, aside from the fact that I know she’s a good person,” she continued, “She does have some things to work through that I hate to see cause they’re difficult. But to be honest… Maybe you shouldn’t ask her out.”
That was not the advice he was expecting. At all. Peter stared at her for a moment, stunned.
“And before you say, 'Why Michelle? Can’t I just ask out a girl I like?’ my answer is, yes you can, but it’d probably benefit both of you if it happened after you’ve dealt with your respective issues,” Michelle stated as-a-matter-of-factly.
He thought about that for a minute before his expression turned to a frown. “Wait, a second… You said 'your respective issues.’”
She just shrugged, as if there was nothing wrong with that statement.
“What are my 'respective issues?’” Peter asked a little incredulously, standing up with his arms folded.
Michelle just looked at him up and down and let out a laugh. And when he didn’t respond, looking genuinely puzzled, she decided his self-awareness needed some work. “Peter, here’s a prompt: name some things good about yourself.”
He hesitated a moment before answering. “Uh… I mean, I think I’m… Not like, unfunny, I’m good at solving problems, I try to take care of myself and I care for my friends.” “Okay, good. Now name some bad things about yourself.” Silence.
“You see the problem here?” MJ asked, eyebrow raised. “Believe me, you’ve also got issues, and if I didn’t know you better, you’d probably appear almost nearly perfect.”
The moment of silence after that caused MJ’s face to turn slightly red. “But continuing with the point,” she said quickly. “And I’m going to be kind of brutally honest.”
Peter nodded. He was fine with that. “Go ahead.” “You have a tendency to drop people at the first sign of a problem,” she stated flatly.
He blinked, facial expression a mix of anticipation and confusion. “When—” “You want me to drop some examples, as awkward as it’s going to be, right now?” “I mean, yeah,” he replied, because in all his past relationships he didn’t feel like that was ever an issue.
“Prom night,” she said. “You left me at the restaurant after I said I thought Peter Jackson’s films used too much CGI.” Peter scoffed, discomfort creeping into him. “There was a robber outside.” “He stole a half a salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden,” Michelle sighed. “Those things are free, Peter.” She paused. “Or were.”
Peter rolled his eyes impatiently. “Okay, any other examples?” “Yeah. Family dinner, two years ago.” “I went to that.” Right? “No, you didn’t. You faked being sick because my grandma made fun of you,” she laughed.
He let out a breath. “Your grandmother is kind of mean, okay? And a little scary.” “'Cause she called you chicken legs?” “Yeah, that too. Like I get the whole thing about not skipping leg day, alright?”
MJ rolled her eyes. “Last example I’m going to give: my birthday. In June.” She sighed, eyes glancing to the corner of the room.
Peter looked up, his annoyance lifting from his expression. He searched her face, and realized she genuinely seemed to carry some regret. There was a hint of sadness to her stare.
Her eyes shifted back to him. “We got into a big argument the day before, and you didn’t show up.”
If he was feeling at all antagonistic or any tension towards her, it was now gone. There was a softness to her gaze, and this was the side of Michelle that Peter had, back in high school, well… Fallen in love with.
He broke off eye contact, a sense of guilt creeping in. “I’m really sorry about that, Michelle,” he murmured.
He remembered being angry then, and in the heat of the argument, forgotten what day it was the next day. Things were building up. She hadn’t talked to him for a long time after, so Peter had just assumed that things were over and that was that.
“It’s cool,” she responded, a sense of resignation to her tone. “Not like I haven’t had good birthdays since, so it’s fine.”
While he wasn’t looking directly at her, he thought he could see her bring her sleeve up to her eye momentarily. He also knew she wouldn’t feel great if he tried to console her. He wasn’t sure if he’d want it from himself either. How could he have been such an asshole then?
“Bottom line,” Michelle continued with a breath, and her eyes brought them back together. “I think you both have got some things to work on.” He could see that. “But if you didn’t wait, like let’s say you realize, 'Wow, I really do like her’, then… I would just say, honestly commit.”
Peter felt himself nod, and he got what she was saying to him. “Look, Michelle, if there’s something I can do, just… Let me know.” He said this earnestly.
She shrugged easily enough, a flash of her usual self showing briefly. “An apology is enough. And I think you’ve got someone else to be obsessing over now,” she smirked.
He had to smile, a weight being lifted from the room. “Ha ha, very funny.”
Outside the building, the clock on campus began to ring. Peter turned his wrist over to check the time. 6:00PM. He looked to Michelle, who was packing up her notebook into her bag. “Hey, uh. Ned and I were going to pick up some food, if you want to come.”
She glanced at him, shrugged. “Sure. What kind of food?” “We’re not sure yet. Haven’t decided.” “You want to get Five Guy’s?” An eyebrow raised suggestively.
Ah yes, the amazingly greasy king of the burger chains.
Peter smiled. “Sure.”
They left the building, passing through the crosswalk and to the bus stop where Ned waited, headphones in. Michelle pulled his headphones off and whispered in his ear, “Guess who.”
He jumped and turned around, eyes flicking between the two. He must’ve felt uneasy from the easy expressions they had on their face. He smiled in response, “Hey, MJ!” Before quickly pulling Peter aside as they started walking, whispering fiercely in his ear. “What happened between you two?!”
Peter pushed him off, straightening the straps of his backpack. “Nothing, dude. We just talked.” “'Just talked?’ Yeah, right dude, I told you she—”
Michelle suddenly came up behind them, an arm on either side. Silence ensued. “No, don’t quit talking now. Genuinely curious on how much you’ve missed me in your loser friend group.”
Ned started to jab back, and as the they chattered back and forth, Peter felt an old sense of high school come back to them. And he grinned.
—
Back at the dorm, you looked at your alarm clock sitting by your bed. 11:00PM.
Flopping over on your stomach, you checked your phone for text messages. Nothing from Peter. Or Michelle. You’d texted her, asking if she wanted to have a girl’s movie night. Nada. You had to wonder whether or not Peter had gotten your letter, but more than that, you had a sinking feeling debating whether or not he’d even accept it.
And after a few more minutes of lying on your bed in silence, you began to feel stupid for writing one in the first place. He usually came back early to do something with Ned. Or you. And you’d hardly heard that much noise in the hallway of passerbys.
You sighed. You were definitely overthinking it. And the thing was, who’s to say that Peter even still felt the same about you? You’d given him plenty of reasons to back off, and there’s the possibility that he maybe just finally did.
Either way, you needed your mind off of this.
Sifting through your phone apps, you go through each folder and see if there was anything that would interest you. There wasn’t really any games you felt like playing, and you had a lot of those. Then, thumb finding its way to the next page, you spotted a familiar flame-colored icon. Opening the app, you hadn’t been on there in ages, although looking at the different profiles you’d matched with on there, you couldn’t really remember why.
You went through the profiles that showed up, swiping left, left again, before seeing a profile that perked your interest. He had a neat haircut with a smooth fade. He had a somewhat similar build as Peter, though if possible, a little slimmer.
Miles Morales. 18. 20 miles away.
He had pretty sweet outfits as well. Lots of bright colors, definitely more of a streetwear look.
You started to swipe right, then decided against it. From last year’s experience, hooking up with freshman guys was a bad memory too many. You felt yourself cringe at the memories and the all-too-many bad decisions. Moving on.
As you continued to swipe, a middle-aged man showed up. You forgot you must’ve changed your settings. He had graying hair, but surprisingly it wasn’t unattractive. You tapped on his profile and looked through his photos. They were decent quality, not the old phone camera pics you’d expected. His body had a semi-muscular outline for his age, like he could have worked in construction or something similar. Something about his expression seemed warm and inviting.
Adrian. 44. 5 miles away. 'Looking for someone to connect with, share a drink. Not looking for long-term, just a fun night out.’
Sounded distracting enough. You tentatively swiped right, and it came up a match. Feeling a sense of anticipation, you were deciding on whether you should message him, when even more surprisingly, he sent you one first.
>Hey, hon. :) You look stunning
A small smile forming on your face, you replied back.
Thanks. You, too <3
He seemed to respond pretty quickly, an easy conversation going back and forth.
>You a college student?
Yeah, I am.
>How’s that going for you?
Pretty good :) Although it could be going better
>Why’s that?
You paused for a moment.
Just some boy problems
>Adrian is typing… >Any advice you might want from an old man?
No thanks. Just figured it’s pretty typical complicated bs :P
>Haha, figures. >You want to come over now?
Y/n is typing… Sure, why not?
>Great! My address is [insert number/street]. I can come pick you up
Thanks. :) I’m at [insert hall].
You got up and left your phone on the bed, a pit of anticipation in your stomach. Though, in the back of your mind, you felt some small part of you want to hold back, more of you was desperate to get out of the suffocating coffin that was your room.
About half an hour later, you decided on a white tank, cuffed jeans, and a black bomber jacket that used to be your dad’s. Just a thin layer of lip balm later, and you were ready to go. As you left your room, you had your phone, dorm keys, and a small can of pepper spray disguised as pink lipstick. It was one of those impulse purchases on Amazon that actually had gotten you out of a couple of hairy situations before.
Pushing through the doors of your hall, you felt the cool early-spring air hit your face. About twenty feet away, you could see his car along the side of the road leading off campus. He got out, wearing a worn leather jacket and greeted you with a smile. You quickly got into his car and asked if you could turn the radio on. He obliged.
As he pulled out onto the road, you put the window down and breathed out, hoping that some switch of pace could change things for the better.
