the universe: you WILL have to see your ex gf seven days in a row AND you have four projects due this week

me:

bardstard:

rosalielesbianhale:

petition to remake all of the twilight movies where everything is the same except that bella is played by john mulaney who has not been given a script and just has to deal with these circumstances as they come.

john: (walks into the classroom)

edward: 

john:

The Duolingo Owl but it’s voiced by John Mulaney

yunggblud:

when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

guys it’s almost 2021 stop bringing this back

i don’t remember making this but i’m glad i did

It had been 2 whole ass years and John Mulaneys “There’s a hORse lOOSE in the hOSPital” is still the best description of current politics I have ever heard in my life