#spider ham
Peter B Parker: “We need to distract these guys”
Miles: “Leave it to me”
Miles: “Centaurs have six limbs and are, therefore, insects. Discuss”
Gwen, Peni, Ham, and Noir: *immediately begin arguing*
Peter B Parker, watching in horror: “Oh this. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all”
Peter B Parker, over the phone: “Okay Ham, the worst thing you can do in these situations is take matters into your own hands”
Spider-Ham: “Got it!”
Spider-Ham: *hangs up phone*
Spider-Ham, to Peni and Noir: “We’re gonna have to take matters into our own hands”
Peter B Parker: “Okay its time to start the meeting- wait where is Ham?”
Miles: “He said he needed to go buy things?”
Spider-Gwen: “Can’t we start the meeting without him?”
Peter B Parker: *sighs* “No I’ll just call him”
*They gather round Peter as he rings Ham*
Spider-Ham:“Hello?”
Peter B Parker : “Ham where are you? Can you come to the hideout for the meeting please?”
Spider-Ham: “Well, I can’t. I’m buying clothes”
Peni: “He doesn’t even wear normal clothes?”
Peter B Parker: *sighs* “Alright, hurry up then come over here.”
Spider-ham: “I can’t find them.”
Peter B Parker: “What do you mean you can’t find them?”
Spider-Ham: “I can’t find them. There’s only soup.”
Noir: “Did he just say theres only soup?”
Peter B Parker: “Whaddya mean ‘there’s only soup’?”
Spider-Ham: “It mean there’s only soup.”
Peter B Parker, while being absolutely done:“Well get out of the soup aisle!”
Spider-Ham: “Alright, you don’t have to shout at me” (move to the next aisle) “There’s more soup!”
Peter B Parker: “Whaddya mean 'there’s more soup’?!”
Spider-Ham: “There’s just more soup!”
Peter B Parker: “Go into the next aisle!”
Spider-Ham: (move to the next aisle) “There’s still soup!”
Peter B Parker: “Where are you right now?!”
Spider-Ham: “I’m at soup!”
Peter B Parker: “WHADDYA MEAN YOU’RE 'AT SOUP’!?”
Spider-Ham: “I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!”
Peter B Parker: “WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!”
Spider-Ham: “I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!”
Peter B Parker, having lost the will to deal with this situation: “WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!”
Spider-Ham: “FUCK YOU!” *hangs up phone*
Miles: “…. so that just happened…”
Spider-Ham: “If your leg gets cut off… would it hurt?”
Noir:“Yeah”
Ham:“How?”
Noir: “Cause your leg got cut off!”
Ham: “But where are you gonna feel the pain?!”
Noir: “in your… leg…”
Ham: “Exactly! How are you gonna feel pain the pain…”
Ham and Noir, at the same time: “If your leg is gone…”
Peni, while staring at them from the other side of the room: “… You guys are idiots”
Miles: “It’s Christmas time and you know what that means!”
Spider-Gwen: “Everyone is going to try to kill each other at the dinner table?”
Noir: “Time for the sweet release of death?”
Peter B Parker: “Getting drunk on my own while crying in the bathtub?”
Peni: “Time to receive only coal from Santa again?”
Spider-ham: “Question my existence while watching Friends reruns on repeat?”
Miles, concerned: “I was gonna say ‘ugly Christmas Jumper competition’ but you know what? We’re all going to therapy.”
*Peter B Parker standing in front of the others while holding a bowl which is filled with folded up pieces of paper*
Peter B Parker: “Since I’m gonna be out for a while, I’ve left you all a complimentary bowl of advice”
Peter B Parker, takes one piece of paper out of the bowl: “For instance, ‘Ham, stop doing that’ just applies to everything”
Miles: “Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.”
Noir: “Okay, but what is updog?”
Ham: “Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.”
Peter B Parker: “No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.”
Peni: “No, that’s an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.”
Gwen: “Surely, that’s Uppsala, where as updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.”
Miles: “That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.”
Peter B Parker: “You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is anupward-moving air current.”
Gwen: “No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.”
Noir: “What’s a henway??”
Miles: “Oh, about five pounds.”
Miles: “Just be yourself.”
Peter B Parker: “ ‘Be myself’? Miles, I have one day to win MJ over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?”
Spider-Gwen: “Couple days.”
Noir: “Couple of weeks”
Spider-Ham: “A few months.”
Peni: “Jury’s still out.”
Peter B Parker: “See, Miles?”
Peter B Parker: “'Be myself’. What kind of garbage advice is that?”
Spider-Gwen: “Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?”
Peter B Parker:“Language!”
Peni: “Yeah watch your fucking language”
Noir: “OKAY WHO TAUGHT PENI THE FUCK WORD?”
Spider-Ham:“ ‘The fuck word’. ”
Miles: “Are you serious? You guys use the f word all the time ”
Spider-Gwen: “Oh my god he censored it”
Spider-Ham: “Say fuck, Miles.”
Spider-Gwen: “Do it, Miles. Say fuck.”
Peter B Parker: “MILES DO NOT-”
Peter B Parker: “Dammit Ham! what did you do?!”
Spider-Ham: “What!? It wasn’t me!”
Peter B Parker: “Sorry force of habit. Dammit Noir!”
Noir: “Not me either”
Peter B Parker: “Oh…. Then who set the hideout on fire?!”
Peni: *Whistles nervously*
Noir:“The moon is beautiful tonight”
Spider-Ham: “It really is”
*in another room*
Miles, whispering: “Should we tell them that’s a tortilla I threw at the window?”
Peter B Parker: “Please don’t”
Time for another Very Happy Birthday to J.K. Simmons! (Jan. 9, 1955)
(click through for largest size)I was toying with several ideas for this year’s piece, after paying homage to the Farmers Insurance commercials last year. But this was suggested by @dontbearuiner, and it seemed fitting to honor the moment when J.K. Simmons first made an impression on the collective geek consciousness, as J. Jonah Jameson in Raimi’s Spider-Man in 2002. So here we have Ford in full “BRING ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!” mode, a request that his niblings will be only too happy to fulfill.
(For this I used refs from the 2002 and 2004 movies; pics of guys in suits; refs from Spider-Man comics; refs from the most recent Into the Spider-Verse movie – which is the best and if you haven’t seen it you absolutely must – and from merch for the same, which accounts for the idea of Mabel’s Spider-Gwen hoodie. The background is courtesy of a free halftone texture. I think that’s it?)
(Well, heck – I missed this yesterday purely because of my brain playing tricks on me. Another very happy birthday to Mr. J.K. Simmons nonetheless! I do have a sort of tribute idea to do, perhaps I’ll get to that soon.)
And finally, another Happy Birthday to J.K. Simmons! (belated)
Orig. posted Jan 2019.
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Saw Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse for the third time yesterday, so here’s my two favorite characters.
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tried to draw in different styles♀️♀️♀️
The Duolingo Owl but it’s voiced by John Mulaney
King pin, absolute unit
Into the Spider-Verse
Y’know when Doc Ock said that thing to Peter about the possibility of him turining to dust or disintegrating or whatever, I screamed.
I was watching this movie yesterday thinking, “Wow this movie is so beautiful and perfect, they couldn’t make a sequel This Good even if they wanted to” and now i wake up to thissfgfff
One of my assignments was to figure out what Gwen’s, Peni’s, Noir’s and Ham’s world’s could look like. Gwen’s is based off Jason Latour Robbi Rodriguez and Rrico Renzi Gwen books, Peni is futureworld based on @jakewyattriot, Noir is… Noir, and Ham is pulling from old mid century cartoons like Pigs is Pigs
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Spider-family by Lee InHyuk
Spider-Suit Mafia
Art by InHyuk Lee
