Sirius telling stories about his time at hogwarts to Fred and George during the summer spent in grimauld place in book five
Fred: do you have any stories about good parties?
Sirius: oh yeah loads. My favourite one is about James’s 16th birthday. So the party was going great. I’m standing in the common room and I’m holding a fire whisky bottle, you’ve been to the hogs head. And I’m standing there, and I’m holding a firewhiskey and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like: “something, something McGonagall!” And in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled “fuck McGonagall!” “Fuck Mcgonagall!"And everyone else joined in.
A hundred drunk white children yelling: "fuck Mcgonagall” with the confidence of guys who have like already been to azkaban And aren’t afraid of it anymore. You know that like “I served my time, you come and take me” confidence.
But white children the reason someone had said: “Something, something Mcgonagall” was because Mcgonagall were there. So she walked through the portrait hole and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling “Fuck Mcgonagall” in her face
And she was almost impressed. She was like: “wow”
And then she cast a patronus and told it: “get the the other teachers”. And James, who was a father, this man had a baby, he grabbed a butterbeer, smashed it on the ground, and yelled “scatter!”
But everyone ran in a different direction. We all ran in different directions. It was like in the great hall when the slytherins come in the room and all the other students go in different ways.
We all ran in different directions. I ran out of the common room and I jumped into a secret passage that led me to the second floor and I crawled through a window and jumped down onto the grass and now I’m running through the greenhouses and there’s this big devil’s snare.
And I thought “I’ve never dealt with a devil’s snare that big before.” And then I woke up in my dorm.
petition to remake all of the twilight movies where everything is the same except that bella is played by john mulaney who has not been given a script and just has to deal with these circumstances as they come.
It had been 2 whole ass years and John Mulaneys “There’s a hORse lOOSE in the hOSPital” is still the best description of current politics I have ever heard in my life
